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251:  Am I with Mr. Right for the Wrong Reasons?

251: Am I with Mr. Right for the Wrong Reasons?

FromBeat Your Genes Podcast


251: Am I with Mr. Right for the Wrong Reasons?

FromBeat Your Genes Podcast

ratings:
Length:
53 minutes
Released:
Mar 4, 2021
Format:
Podcast episode

Description

In this episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss this situation:

I am a 26 year old female and in a two year relationship with a guy named Luke. He is an MD and works at the hospital, he is rather smart, lookwise pretty average but neighter overweight nor has a funky smell. He is a nice guy, will provide for me and the family as soon as we have kids, which is already on our agenda. He respects my wishes to a large extent and eats only plant based at home though he used to eat meat. He is caring and always there for me even when I am going a bit crazy. Sounds perfect right? Well. When I was 20 I met a guy (Dave) and we became best friends, after a year or so we had a short phase where we had sex, which led to quite some trouble and our friendship wasn’t the same ever since. We did see each other every couple of months but we never got that close again, he also moved to another country closeby. I really fell for him though and all throughout the years I was never able to let go of him, he appeared in my dreams and so on. He is the same age as me and my partner, but restarted college again in the new country he is in now, he is in no position to provide while I want to be a stay at home mum. Also he is not into me. He never was and I don’t think he ever will be. I dont’t know why I can’t get this guy out of my head, he still makes me shaky after five years and a lot of misbehaviour on his side. Luke on the other side is nice. But I never crushed on him once, it was all a rational choice. So tell me. How can I let go of this feeling for Dave? I just don’t get it, my mind is totally on board with planing my future with Luke and having a familiy and kids soon, still there is always this nagging voice/ feeling reminding me of Dave. I also thought about him while I was having sex with Luke and I feel really bad about it. How do I move on? I really want to be happy and feel like I am standing in my ow way.  
Released:
Mar 4, 2021
Format:
Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Let's look at life through the lens of our ancestors. Our instincts were shaped by their struggles in an environment much different than our current environment. Our instincts haven't changed much but our environment has changed dramatically. We blend the science of evolutionary psychology with the clinical experience of Doug Lisle, PhD to explore common problems and stumbling points in our pursuit of happiness. New episodes come out Wednesdays at 8:30 PST. If you have a question or comment, or maybe even a complicated situation that you'd like some advice on, feel free to call us and leave a voicemail at (714) 900-2601 or send in a question through www.BeatYourGenes.org