Mayano's Journal: Definition of Wisdom & Love Explained

By Mayano Ty Terentius

Maya is on holiday and by surprise, experiences a profound intellectual journey.

She is introduced to life's truisms and human concepts, used to understand humanity.

These concepts include wisdom, freedom, love, life-paths, perception and priority.

Maya contemplates, discusses and writes about all these concepts thoroughly.

She learns what Wisdom is, and what Love is and how they apply to all humans globally.

She also finds that many concepts have been hidden and/or only explained cryptically.

So she decides to publish her definitions and explanations for everyone to see.

Her writings are found in this journal, presented beautifully, some in prose or poetry.

This is Mayano's journal, her journey, her story which turns into the reader's journey.

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Mayano's story introduces many of life's truisms and other concepts, and then it provides explanations, all of which will help a person understand humanity. They will also help a person find their true life-path, understand perception and acquire love, happiness and wisdom.

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Please search the internet or anywhere for clear definitions of Love and Wisdom.

Why are these and so many other human concepts not clearly defined and explained?

What is the definition of "Wisdom" of "Love" and what does "I Love You" mean?

Read Mayano's Journal and find out.

 

 

This book was written to encourage and enlighten,

through intuitive self-learning about one's self, and every human.

It was created for inspiration, not to tell anyone what to do, nor is it about religion.

It's presented for everyone, to help every human understand and find their own direction.

It promotes thinking and reasoning, along with personal comprehension and expression.

It offers many a suggestion for consideration or at a minimum, motivation for discussion.

It provides a reason for application, but it's up to the reader to come to their own conclusion.

This book defines wisdom, explains love and clarifies concepts like fear and freedom.

No matter the person, their illusion, perception, their restriction, their society or their situation,

the application of wisdom provides function and illumination, while promoting calm enthusiasm.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trace N Terrin
• Release date: Mar 30, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224537525

Book preview

Day 1

Hi mom, I made it to Bali. And as you can see, I started journaling. It’s about 7:00 PM here and I’m sitting in the condo that we picked out. And yes it looks like a tropical bungalow. It’s so cute. It’s hot and humid here in Bali and it rained or misted almost all day today. Maybe tomorrow the weather will be better. I’m sitting at the dining table writing in the red notebook that you picked out and I’m using my favorite mechanical pencil, the purple one. I’m sure you’re happy about that; it was your request that I don’t type this journal into my laptop. Well maybe you’re right. Maybe journals should be written out. It will be easier to carry the notebook anyway. But you do know that I’ll eventually type everything into the computer, right? Maybe I’ll do that when I get back home.

I can feel the ceiling fan as I sit here at the table and it feels nice. I’m also drinking the instant coffee they provided, but it’s not that good. Actually it’s not good at all, but with lots of sugar it’s doable. As you know, this place is actually one big room with one small bedroom and bath. You would like it here. It’s cozy with a high wood beam ceiling.

I’m sitting here thinking, journaling, but I really don’t know what to write. Maybe it will get easier as I go, but maybe not. But mom, I promised you I would keep a journal, so I am. Plus, I really wanted to try this journaling thing too. Just maybe I’ll learn more about me, like people say, but I’m not so sure. And learn about what? I wonder how many pages I’ll fill up in the next thirty days. I can’t believe I’m here, finally, thank you mom.

Through the front windows, I can see some other bungalow lights just beyond the palm trees and the overgrown bushes. When I got here I could smell the wet foliage, rain, flowers and a hint of the ocean. Inside this condo it smells like wood, maybe because of the cone shaped exposed wood beam ceiling. Right now it’s very still outside, no wind or rain and I can hear a white noise. It’s the constant buzzing of all the insects outside, which is drowning out most of the sounds of the village down the road. Speaking of the village, for the past few hours I have smelled the cooking of exotic foods and it smells so good. One smell is similar to the sweet curry you used to make for us. You know I love all food and will eat anything, so this vacation will be a culinary adventure.

When I got here to the condo, there were hibiscus flowers in the kitchen, bathroom and on the kitchen table. They are beautiful but they don’t have a scent. When I go outside I can smell other flowers, I love that. I’m not sure what the flowers are. It smells like jasmine maybe mixed with others? I know mom, you told me a hundred times, my name means Jasmine and it also means Truth. I hope this means I belong here. Right now I feel excitement. I actually want to try all the types of food. I guess I’m hungry!

I just read this above and it seems like I’m just writing a letter to mom, well mostly. I guess I just wanted to describe what it’s like here. I want to remember it and remember this moment, my first night. Now that I’m here and looking around the condo, I have to say, mom, we did good! This place is small but it’s bigger than I need and it has a nice kitchen too. The proximity to everything will work out well also. Tomorrow I’ll do some exploring and yes try to rent a scooter. Like you said, it will help me get around the island. I guess I should finish unpacking and put stuff away in drawers, maybe make a shopping list.

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It’s now almost 9:30 pm. I’m unpacked and all situated but I’m not tired, so on to some more journaling. Maybe I should start writing about personal stuff. Mom, I know I promised you I would, so here it goes.

I’m journaling because I’m lost, I’ll admit it. Well I guess I’m admitting it to myself in this journal. I don’t know what I want in life. I seem to be stuck and afraid of life. I’m journaling here in Bali because I’m hoping it will help. My mom and I have been talking about a journaling trip for almost two years. This would be a trip where I can reflect, think, write and just have fun without worrying about life. She said she wanted to give me this kind of trip as a graduation present. Well now I’m here in Bali journaling. But I’m not sure I can write about my childhood or about my feelings like I’m supposed to. I’m not even sure I want to. But I know mom, it’s the process, so I’ll try, as promised. I’ll go through the process and trust myself. Mary, (my collage therapist) would be proud of me if she knew I was here journaling. I can only hope this journaling will provide some insight into me and my life. Thank you mom for this fantastic trip to Bali, I promise I will not waste my time here. I will not just sit around and read books. I will try to make this journal my substitute and I will get out and have fun.

I was thinking on the flight over, I don’t know how to act or interact, while in Bali. Well it was more like, who do I interact as? As me, a lost sad soul searching for I don’t know what? I thought, maybe I should act like someone else for the month, pretend I’m not myself.

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Darn it, I’m already rambling and I just started this journaling process. OK, stop, take a breath, start again. This is my journal. DUH!!  Journaling sucks, yes sucks, see I can write anything I want and who cares! I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care! Too funny, OK back to serious! Breathing, breathing, breathing...

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The flight over was so long and sleeping on that plane was not fun. It took over twenty hours to get here, including the layovers. I may have slept five hours off-and-on, the whole trip. Next time I’m getting one of those neck pillow things that everyone else had. It should help.

I got in at 7:00 am this morning and went straight here to the condo. Well after collecting my luggage and going through customs.  I set up transportation ahead of time, so it was easy. They picked me up around 9AM and I was here around 10AM. As advertised, this condo really is just outside the village. It’s only a twenty minute walk to shops, restaurants, etc. After napping for a few hours this morning, I walked around the village in the rain. Well it was more like misting the whole time and I used one of the umbrellas from the condo, so it wasn’t bad. I ended up having a great lunch, which was an experience.  I stopped at a roadside cafe and tried their chicken satay on bamboo sticks. I couldn’t help it; it looked and smelled wonderful as I walked by. I ended up sitting at a small table under a tarp and it was wonderful, even though I had to use hand sanitizer to clean up before eating. The satay came with crispy fried onion and a chili peanut sauce as a topping, optional. Of course I had to try. The sauce was too spicy for me, but the crispy onions and peanut flavor was great. I will have to find a less spicy version in the future. The satay was on white rice and of course I ate the whole thing, I don’t waste food.  I was back here at around 4PM and started reading. But then I felt guilty, so here I am journaling again. 

To be prepared for this journaling thing, I packed lots of lead graphite refills for my pencil, plus a huge block eraser. But, I will try not to erase any thoughts after they have been written. I will try to only make corrections. I know me and I will NEED to clean up this journal and make corrections, call it OCD or whatever you want. I like things tidy. Maybe once a week I will type my journal entries into my laptop and make clarifications or corrections at that point. I know I will want to delete some stupid stuff like the, journaling sucks comment above, but again, I will try not to delete anything, just clean it up.

When discussing this journaling trip with my therapist Mary, she cautioned me about deleting stuff. She said leaving it raw is best for learning, because it shows more feeling. But leaving it As is I think will just show how often my mind jumps from topic to topic and crazy idea to crazy idea. So, we’ll see! Then again I don’t plan on sharing this with anyone so maybe I should just lighten up.

I guess I’m writing this journal because I’m tired of being sad, alone and afraid. I was actually afraid to come here to Bali. But mom said I had to except my fear of this trip and push through it. Mom and Mary both pushed hard for this journaling trip. Both were sure it would help me. They both agreed that I needed to explore the true me. I’m still not sure what that means.  Journaling was mom’s suggestion first, and when I started seeing Mary about three semesters ago, she liked the idea and we have talked about it several times since. I explained to Mary that my Mom was afraid I was spending too much time alone and it was her that suggested I talk with someone. Mary has been easy to talk to and easy to meet with because she was on campus. I saw her quite a few times. She was nice and we talked, but my sessions didn’t really make me feel that much better. Well, maybe a bit better towards the end of the semester, talking does help in the moment. I guess knowing I could always go and talk did help too.

Talking has never been my thing. I’m the type of person that likes books and being alone, well mostly. Maybe I’m actually afraid to do something about my depression, I don’t know. I’m just so afraid of looking foolish, doing something stupid and of being unattractive and fat. I’m afraid of the future, my future. I have no idea what I want to do for a career, what I want to do for hobbies and I don’t have any real friends, or a boyfriend. I don’t know how to have a real relationship. Mom says I’m just overly guarded, so maybe I am. I don’t even know if I want a relationship or kids. Maybe I do, if I can find the right guy? Right now I’ll date any decent nice guy! The bad boy thing is just not attractive to me. I’m just lost!

So, I’m writing to get unlost, plus I enjoy writing. I should clarify. I like writing fiction, song lyrics and poetry. I’m not quite sure about this journaling yet. But that may change, who knows? I have quite a collection of poems and also vivid lyrics that no one will ever see or hear. But I can hear the songs. I can actually play my songs in my head and hear the music, and lyrics. I can even sing the lyrics. Like a band member, I can speed up the tempo, stop everything for effect, pull in a guitar solo, let the drums go wild, etc. These are my private songs. I actually listen to my songs in my head when driving long distances and I listen to different versions. I even get frustrated when I can’t remember the words to my songs. It’s crazy, I wrote it but sometimes I can’t remember how it goes! But then other times it flows perfectly. Again, maybe because of the many versions! Or is it, my mind is constantly trying to make it better, different, deeper, more meaningful. Why can’t I just leave a song alone, or a poem!

I understand that many people are writing, blogging and supposedly teaching or entertaining others on the internet and making great money at it. But that’s not me. I would rather not share my personal thoughts, music and writings with anyone, ever. I know I’m weird plus my stuff is..., well different. But I love it. It’s mine and I find comfort in knowing that I have something special. I like that it’s mine, like a quality secret. A poem is me, a song is me and I don’t have to share it to enjoy it. I don’t have to explain it to anyone! But at the same time, I know they are isolating me too.

Anyway, this trip is about trying to understand life, my life, humans and why we’re all broken. People do the strangest things! I hope we’re not all broken, maybe just confused most the time? Anyway, I’m trying to understand my life, and then maybe I can control it. I don’t feel in control, I feel like I’m alone in a leaky boat on a river. The river is taking me somewhere dark, but I don’t know where. I can see nice places, in full sun on the river bank, but my damaged boat is almost completely covered in storm clouds. It has no paddles and the current is strong. There is no way for me to move towards the beautiful sunny places on the shore. I feel angry, helpless and taunted by these nice places that are just out of reach. I’m jealous of those I see and afraid of where I’m going. I’m also afraid that my boat will sink before landing anywhere. I feel cold as an icy rain hits me. I sit there depressed, desperately seeking a solution, knowing only I can save me and I can’t see any options! I can’t seem to move and I don’t seem to want to. I’m not sure of anything. I don’t know what to do! I feel hopeless as I sit alone and afraid.

Does this mean I’m looking for someone to come save me, or maybe someone to tell me what to do or guide me? Ultimately I would like to win ten million dollars and then I wouldn’t have to worry anymore about money and surviving. This would make me happy. But would it, really? I would still be me, alone, depressed feeling hopeless and afraid. Afraid of being me!

I expressed these feelings to Mary once. That is, the whole boat scenario, lottery, etc. She said I needed to give myself time, focus on school, I was young and opportunities will come and that I should take advantage of them when I can. I didn’t find that at all helpful, but maybe she’s right, who knows? But what I learned from her was, I will always have to deal with me and I’m the only one who can change me. Wow, I’m now journaling about my feelings, my fears. Not fun, but doable. Thanks for the graduation present mom! I’ve started a journal, in Bali and I’m writing about my feelings. I know the deal was to also write about my childhood. I’ll get to that.

Mom really did push me to come here, where she said I would have no one else to please, but me. She always said I was a giver, but sometimes too much. When we discussed me journaling, as a form of therapy, she said I didn’t have to share my journal with anyone, so I could write about everything. This made me choke, because she knows I never share my writings anyway. Deep inside I knew she was talking about herself. I didn’t have to share my journal with her, if I didn’t want to. I now know she was trying to give me more freedom to express myself and to be honest with myself. Maybe I do need to accept the fact that it’s Ok to have secrets! And that everyone has secrets.

I’m actually feeling a little bit excited about writing. I’m just not excited about writing about myself. I want to write about Bali. Writing is where I hide, where time escapes me and where I forget to worry. Writing and reading is my thing. When I was younger, reading was my escape and writing has always been my creative outlet.

I guess this journaling is my new creative outlet, in a weird way. That is, me sitting here describing myself to my future self is a bit weird. As I get older, will I change that much? In the future, will I listen to my past self? I guess journaling is me trying to help my future self. Will writing about my life now, teach my future self to change for the better? Will writing about my past reveal things about myself I don’t already know but have just forgotten? Maybe have hidden? I think I’m writing to me now, and describing my past, to help me now. But I’m also writing to help my future self. Maybe I’m writing for me to read in one year, five years, or maybe ten years? Maybe I’m writing for me to read whenever I want to remember the old me.

Ok, here is something I should write down so I can remember the old me. As a child my crayons would never stay within the lines. Maybe they would be close, but teachers would always try to correct me and tell me to stay within the lines. But I would not. I would go into my own little world. My mind would drift and create stories with characters based on the pictures I was coloring. Mom said I would create new characters in a coloring book to fit my story. She said I would turn a page and create a new character, changing whatever was in the book and coloring it accordingly. She said it excited me to color in different characters then turn the page, so the story could continue and expand. Lines never mattered; they were someone else’s lines, not mine. I would add wings to bears or rabbits, tails to humans and faces to rocks, clouds and trees. I guess I have been a rebel for a long time, a trouble maker some would say. My world has always been where I wanted it to be and I never liked the adult world with all the rules, arguing and fighting. Wow, I’m expressing myself now and letting it flow. Good for me, I think.

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Maybe I should set some realistic writing goals and not just write about my messed up life. Also, I need some fun goals. I’m in Bali, I should have some fun! Mom asked me to write about my childhood and I said I would, but she also said I should have some fun. So, I think writing about my childhood should be my number one writing goal. But I should also take time and all opportunities to have some fun. Fun like, well I don’t know yet. Something will come up.

Writing about my childhood will not be fun or easy, my childhood was not fun, but I know I need to just write about it and get it over with. I can then start writing about other stuff that has happened in the past five or so years. But I will not spend all my time writing. I want to tour Bali, learn about the culture and try all the food. That will be fun. Exploring all the food and the island will be fun. Why am I always hungry?  I would also like to meet some cool people and go to a few parties. I want to meet guys and flirt or at least try! I defiantly need the practice.

I’m not sure a month’s worth of my rantings on these pages help me or if they will shed some light on where I want to go in life. Will they help me decide on a career path? Will they show me at least where I’m going? It’s getting late, time to stop.

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Goodnight to me.

Day 3

Sorry I skipped day two, am I allowed skipping days? Are there rules for journaling? I skipped