Reverend G's Words of Encouragement: My Journey and Life's Lessons Along the Way - "I Could Blame Others, but I Won't."

By Rev G

My journey unfolds as a native Floridian who faced the challenges of growing up in poverty, relying on welfare, and navigating life without the presence of a father who left me at a very young age. Through my experiences, I've come to understand that some of us start life in less-than-ideal circumstances, grappling with

• Language: English
• Publisher: MainSpring Books
• Release date: Mar 22, 2024
• ISBN: 9798891140585

Rev G

Pastor Gaines, affectionately referred to as Reverend G, spent his formative years in the heart of Central Florida. Growing up in the vibrant communities of Marion and Polk counties, he attended public schools that laid the foundation for his academic and personal development. Inspired by his faith, Reverend G embarked on a journey of service that transcended borders, leading him to contribute to multiple churches across the United States and even overseas.In the midst of his remarkable journey, Reverend G found unwavering support and companionship in Brenda, his childhood sweetheart. Together, they have forged a bond grounded in shared values and a mutual commitment to their faith. Currently calling Lakewood Ranch, Florida, home, Pastor Gaines and Brenda continue to be pillars of strength, embodying the principles of love and unity that define their spiritual journey. Their story is a testament to the enduring power of faith, love, and a shared commitment to building a meaningful life together.

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Reverend G’s

Words of Encouragement

SHORT | SWEET | IMPACTFUL

My Journey and Life’s Lessons Along the Way

I Could Blame Others, but I Won’t.

Rev G

Copyright © 2024 by Rev G.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN 979-8-89114-057-8 (sc)

ISBN 979-8-89114-058-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024901394

2024.02.25

MainSpring Books

5901 W. Century Blvd

Suite 750

Los Angeles, CA, US, 90045

www.mainspringbooks.com

My Journey and Life’s Lessons Along the Way

I Could Blame Others, but I Won’t.

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Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Everyone has a story to tell

My Early Life Journey

Growing up in Rural Central Florida

After My Parents’ Divorce, Life Becomes Hellish at Best

School Days – I Am Glad That is Behind Me

My Early School Years

Gaining an Early Vital Work Ethic

Failing Grades and Dropping out of High School

How Joining the Military Changed the Trajectory of My Life

Classroom Again

How a Cold Day Changed the Course of My Life

Academia Nirvana at the Defense Intelligence College.

An Amazing Career Journey

Being Fired from My First Dream Job

– It Hurt Like Hell

A New Life in the Private Sector then Government Service

Assignments to United States Spy Agencies

Attending Seminary – A Thirst to Learn More

Receiving Requests from the CEO, Who Happens to Be My Wife

From Worst to Best Church Job Offer Ever

Relationships, They Are Complicated

Adolescent Mishaps in the Initial Stages of Relationships

Falling in Love with the Girl Next Door

A Challenging Beginning Following a Pleasant Honeymoon

Looking Back on 40 Years of Marriage

Me and the Church

Embarking on a Spiritual Journey: Preaching While Ascending Mount Everest

The Madness of Losing Beloved Ones

Unraveling in the Face of Grief

Resigning from the Church Involves Taking on Additional Responsibilities

Cancer Scare and Panic Mode

Time to do Something Different?

I Just Want to be a Good Dad

Struggles as a Newly Minted Father

From Father to Grandfather

REVEREND G’S LIFE’S LESSONS ALONG THE WAY

RGWOE Lesson 1 - A Better Life

RGWOE Lesson 2 - In Between a Wall and a Crisis

RGWOE Lesson 3 - Thirsty for More than Water

RGWOE Lesson 4 - Courage in the Face of Adversity

RGWOE Lesson 5 - Do Not Let Life Pin You to the Wall.

RGWOE Lesson 6 - Paid in Full

RGWOE Lesson 7 - Moving from Complaining to Praise

RGWOE Lesson 8 - The Power of Prayer

RGWOE Lesson 9 - The Practice of Prayer

RGWOE Lesson 10 - Keep Living and You Will Understand

RGWOE Lesson 11 - Wait and Be of Good Courage

RGWOE Lesson 12 - Navigating Turbulence on the Way to Your Dreams

RGWOE Lesson 13 - Sometimes It Is Not the Mountain That Needs to Move

RGWOE Lesson 14 - A Hard Test and a Good Report Card

RGWOE Lesson 15 - Undefeatable Determination

RGWOE Lesson 16 - A Day Like No Other Day – We All Have Them

About the Author – Pastor Gaines

Dedication

In the pages of this book, I extend a heartfelt dedication to the pillar of strength in my life, my wife, Brenda, affectionately known as BG. Through the ebb and flow of time, her unwavering presence has been my constant source of support. BG is not just my life partner; she is my ride-or-die companion for life, navigating the journey with me through thick and thin.

To my beloved son, Jeffery Jr., and his wife Ryann, I express my gratitude for the joy and warmth they bring into our family. Your love and companionship enrich our lives in immeasurable ways. My daughter Candice and her husband Anthony, your presence adds another layer of love and connection to our family tapestry.

A special shout-out to my amazing grandchildren—Matthew, Brooklynn, Logyn, and Myles, as well as Anthony Jr. Your laughter and exuberance light up our lives, making each day brighter. To all the future grandchildren who will grace our lives, know that Papa eagerly awaits your arrival with open arms.

This book is more than just words on paper; it is a testament to the love and bond that ties our family together. Each of you holds a unique place in my heart, and I want you to know that Papa loves all of you dearly. May the stories within these pages reflect the warmth and gratitude I feel for the family that stands as my greatest treasure.

Acknowledgements

I am indebted to numerous individuals whom I wish to express gratitude to. Unfortunately, the constraints of space prevent me from listing all their names here. Please understand that if your name is not mentioned, it is solely due to limitations on this page, not the extent of my appreciation.

Foremost, I extend my deepest thanks to my greatest hero, my late mother, Lou Jean Gaines. Her love and kind words shaped the person I am today, and I owe her more than words can convey. I also want to honor Annie Nelson, my exceptional mother-in-law now resting in heaven, who acted as my second mom. She guided me with corrections when needed and showered me with love even when undeserved.

To my siblings – Wilbert, Alberta, Bernadette, Teresa, Tammy, and Benjamin – your unwavering support through thick and thin means the world to me. Special appreciation goes to my Marine friends, Todd, and Kathy, who embody the creed that iron sharpens iron.

Navigating the role of a preacher and pastor can be isolating, but I’ve been fortunate to have two ministers in my life. Elder Aaron Matlock, now peacefully resting, brought wisdom, laughter, and style into my life. To Reverend Dennis Drake, my confidant and sounding board, thank you for your support.

My enduring friendship with Malcolm, fondly known as Tick, spans over fifty-five years, during which he served as my personal bodyguard in school and at the club. To my vacation friends, Hebert and Roycea, you are the best in the whole wide world.

While I served with outstanding commanders in the military, my deepest appreciation goes to Unitted States Army Captain Oakley for his exemplary care of the troops. Finally, to all the church families I’ve been a part of over the years, your prayers and words of encouragement have been my pillars of strength. Overcoming challenges wouldn’t have been possible without your unwavering support and constructive guidance.

Introduction

Everyone has a story to tell

Everyone has a story to tell, and my story is not that much different than yours. But for those who have endured and overcome many struggles in this life, my story is to encourage you further in life, to keep on living. That being said, my story begins as a native Floridian who grew up poor, on welfare, a high school dropout and without a father, who abandoned me at an incredibly early age in my life. But what I have learned in this life is that sometimes we are born in a disadvantaged situation, either being poor or dependent upon federal assistance for food and clothing. Combined with a broken family structure, this lent itself to a life of struggles and setbacks. God knows I had a lot of them. And for years, if not decades, I blamed others for how I felt and how my life was turning out. Granted even to this day these individuals earned the banner of shameful treatment toward Jeffery Gaines, but blame was not going to change the trajectory of my life. I had a decision to make I could either decide to remain in the state of blaming others or I could get off my backside and do something about it. I decided to go with the latter, and I hope that you will come to the same decision after hearing my story.

Please do not get me wrong–while I chose the latter, it was not an overnight decision. No, my friend, I endured some unspeakable atrocities inflicted upon me as a kid, so it took me some time to move forward in confidence and defiance. This meant I was involved in drugs, alcohol, and misdemeanor criminal activities, but for the record, no felonies. That being said, my life had its good moments from childhood to parenthood, and so many amazing dreams have come true for me. I hope that after reading my book you will walk away with a sense that this ordinary guy went through extraordinary challenges in life—some created by others and some of his own making, but with God’s grace, he is not blaming others but deciding to pursue life’s dreams. Please go and do likewise.

My Early Life Journey

Growing up in Rural Central Florida

To offer a thorough understanding of my background, let me embark on a journey that begins with my upbringing. It’s within the tapestry of my early years that the threads of my life started weaving a story, revealing a myriad of experiences that have shaped my perspective in countless ways.

Growing up, I witnessed life unfolding around me in a kaleidoscope of events, each leaving an indelible mark on my understanding of the world. From the simplicity of everyday moments to the complexities of life-changing events, the tapestry of my upbringing is rich with diverse encounters.

In the embrace of my family, I learned invaluable lessons about love, resilience, and the importance of forging meaningful connections. The stories told by my elders, the laughter shared around the dinner table, and the challenges faced together—all contributed to a holistic view of life that extends beyond mere counting.

Schools, neighborhoods, and friendships added layers to my narrative, exposing me to a mosaic of cultures, beliefs, and perspectives. These encounters broadened my horizons and instilled in me a curiosity to explore and understand the world from various angles.

Life’s unfolding wasn’t always smooth; there were twists and turns, victories and setbacks. Each twist, however, brought forth lessons that contributed to the person I am today. As I reflect on these formative years, I realize the impossibility of quantifying the multitude of experiences that have shaped my outlook on life.

So, as I share my background with you, I invite you to embark on this journey with me—a journey through the tapestry of my upbringing, where the threads of joy, sorrow, growth, and discovery intricately weave together to create the unique fabric of my life. First, the earliest memories I can recall start when I was about two years old living in a place called Dunnellon, Florida; and yes, before you Google it, Dunnellon still exists, and by all accounts is flourishing and growing. While we did not live in the actual city limits of Dunnellon, we were on the outskirts of the town in a place referred to as the Sawmill Quarters, which is next to a place called Chatmire, and likewise, it is still there today but not as it looked and felt so many years ago. I did not know at the time that it was called Sawmill Quarters because we were located right next to a sawmill factory that trimmed trees and produced building lumber. Our little wooden frame shotgun home was located right next to the railroad tracks, and we would always hear the train pass by as it carried its cargo to locations across Florida. In our home there was no electricity, no centralized heating or air conditioning. Neither was there any running water because we did not have plumbing. Thus, there was the outhouse a few feet away in the backyard. However, living there was such a fun time in my life. There were only about eight to ten homes in this area. This meant a small circle of friends. I could simply walk over to their front porch and hang out. We could just be kids on a dirt road relaxing and having fun.

To me these were fond memories because my father worked at the sawmill on one of those big saws that produced planks of lumber. He would often come home smelling like sawdust as he consumed lunch that Mom prepared for him. Speaking of my mother, I remember her as a stay-at-home mom because at that time, I was the youngest of four children. She spent all of her time taking care of us and cleaning that little ole wooden shack next to the railroad tracks. Yes, we were poor, but for me it just seems like a natural state of life. As I see it, I was a happy child and thought we had a great life. However, I had no idea that my mom and dad were having marital problems. Though they never told me, nor did I ever learn what their problems were, they decided to part ways. This parting of ways changed my life and the outcomes of my life