I Prayed You into Life

By Lindsay Kay Campbell

I Prayed You Into Life is an insight into a young woman's quest to find true love; first with Christ and then with a future spouse. Follow her journey which began from spiritual growth and dedication to only be wed to the man God has created for her to marry. What started as a blind date became the most prayerful love story between two people striving to live their lives in accord to God's will for them. Although separated because of the young man's military obligations, their love persevered through letters and more importantly through prayer and careful discernment. They were separated in the physical sense, but the centrality of their relationship was ever present in their hearts. All are invited to their wedding, adventures, sacrifices, heartaches and sorrows which are inevitable to all young married couples. Yet they believe through their many adversities, Christ is ever present in the fairytale He lovingly bestowed upon them; a fairytale unlike any found in children's books.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Apr 19, 2004
• ISBN: 9780595762354

Lindsay Kay Campbell

Lindsay Campbell has a Bachelors in Science in Family and Child Studies and is the Director of Class Act Tutoring, LLC. Also, she is a High School Organization Coordinator for the Governor?s Program on Abstinence. Her love for Christ and quest for love, both heavenly and earthly, inspired her to share the beautiful love story and courtship of her marriage to her prince, Bruce Campbell. Lindsay invites you to share in their inspirational journey of experience, heartaches, and unfathomable joy. She resides in Lake Charles, Louisiana, with her husband where they are surrounded with friends and loved ones.

Book preview

All Rights Reserved © 2004 by Lindsay Kay Campbell

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

iUniverse, Inc.

For information address:

iUniverse, Inc.

2021 Pine Lake Road, Suite 100

Lincoln, NE 68512

www.iuniverse.com

ISBN: 0-595-31420-1

ISBN: 9780595762354 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Contents

1   

2   

3   

4   

5   

6   

7   

8   

1   

Throughout my life I was completely mesmerized by the words, I love you, fairytale, and will you marry me. However, I never thought those words would ever be said to me. Although I believed I truly possessed a sincere desire to be united with one person for the rest of my life through holy matrimony, my many heart aches disguised my hope. And unfortunately, my faith was nonexistent for quite some time.

I was born in a small town in Louisiana, and resided there in the same home for twenty-one years. Although my bedroom themes changed as I grew older, my bedroom still remained my sanctuary…the one aspect I perceived to be consistent in my life. I suppose my family was, well, the All-American family. Fortunately, my parents were still together, and we were the typical middle class, hardworking citizens. Similar to most families there were two children. My older sister is four years older.

I suppose periodically, when observing society in daily events, I would wonder how families learned their roles and states in life. How did people know what they wanted out of life? What even constitutes a family? How did individuals fall in love in a world portrayed as so horrifying and dangerous? But I always managed to dismiss those thoughts without much consideration and simply attributed the responses to those questions as Well, they learned from prior generations, society, and individuals’ own unique, personal needs and goals. Never once did I contemplate or at least acknowledge words such as religion, divine intercession, or the Holy Family when pondering or speaking about the responses to those questions and numerous others. I did not necessarily pertain religious thought to any aspect of my life; except of course, on Sunday morning mass.

My parents and I were, I believe, to be the norm of most families in the Western culture. Of course, we had our arguments and peaceful moments, our heartaches and joys, and our disappointments and achievements. They did emphasize the importance of attending mass every Sunday and catechism classes on Wednesday evenings, and I am extremely thankful for their interest and perseverance in those areas of our education. However, they grew up and matured in a different time, a period of time which was by far safer. The media and society in general provoked fewer moral dilemmas and pressures. My mother is thirty years older than me, yet she always reminded me that she knows all about high school days and life as a teenager. But I recall my school years to be quite different from her reminiscences of her youth.

In elementary school, I was extremely shy and only had a few, close friends that I would mingle with on the playground or occasionally on the weekend. Many of those events have vanished from my memories with the assistance of time. However, I do recall a significant memory in fourth grade that did make a lasting impression on me. The entire grade was talking about this couple that were going together and how they french kissed on the playground. Wow, children in fourth grade and experiencing intimacy that numerous years ago was not experienced until in serious courtships or marriages. Perhaps more important, these two youngsters were viewed to be incredibly popular from that day forward.

As I went to middle school two years later, I was still shy and did not care much about my appearance. I was the type of child who loved school, and my favorite hobby was reading. Nevertheless, the results were devastating to my emotional needs and self esteem. I had practically no friends. I was the target of many jokes and alienated from the popular kids. I confronted my mother about the situation a few times, but she always quickly assured me that nothing was wrong. After all, I was not yet a teenager, so how could I possibly be experiencing social hardships.

Well one thing is certain. I was a fast learner. To become popular or at least have a presence in middle school, I had to conform my attire and appearance in general and my personality. I tried out for cheerleader and made the squad. The rest is history. There I was…popular and loving it, or so I thought. My parents could not seem to discover the reason why my behavior and previous hobbies had diminished so drastically. Although they were desperate to seek out the cause, I was too secretive, and I had become an Oscar achieving actress.

Another predicament also developed around this time. Since I had matured to a young woman, I had lost excess weight often referred to as baby fat. The compliments were poured upon me, which led me to the conclusion that I would never again be the slightest bit chubby. Therefore, I went two entire weeks that year with only a glass of skim milk right before bedtime. I became a pathological liar regarding meals. To avoid any suspicion, I continued making my lunches in the morning before schools. However, the moment I stepped one foot on the school premises I would discard the food at once. My wardrobe consisted of baggy clothes in attempts to disguise my lack of nourishment, and tighter, more

provocative garments for dances and weekends. Because of my emphasis on destructive matters, my grades dropped significantly.

By eighth grade my only concerns were boys, popularity, boys, my appearance, boys, my weight, and boys. Along with the arrival of high school came more destruction to myself and others. My first date was at the age of thirteen years old. I only dated the Junior and Senior guys. Sneaking out of my home became habitual and quite boring, so I progressed onto more difficult tasks. By the age of sixteen, I was hanging out in bars with college men and making road trips to a University a few hours away to visit a current boyfriend. Since I received a horrible reputation, I felt as though it was too late to recapture a sense of myself or my true identity, not this person I had somehow become. Therefore, I continued to prove everyone’s theories of me to be correct by only seeking out actions and friends which furthered my new identity and lifestyle; creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. When all the while, I was degraded, terrified, desolate, and crying out for assistance. Along with the bar scene came drinking, and soon I was even amidst tattoo parlors. Fortunately, I never had the courage to get one!

I quit cheerleading, and my heart was once again shattered by my boyfriend. My senior year was spent in isolation except for the men I would accompany on dates. Some of these companions actually attempted to rescue me from the prison I created within myself; others only contributed to my lifestyle. I was lost! The entire time I was fighting my parents about attending mass that one day a week. For several months, I did not attend any church at all. I perceived Jesus and religion as an entity to be a hindrance on my rights to freedom and my social status. Blaming myself was too difficult to admit, so I delegated that fault to Jesus. After all, I once went to church every Sunday, so he had an obligation to protect me. Why did he not shield me from all of the boyfriends that inflicted such misery to my soul, and often my heart? More importantly, why did he not shield me from myself, my own worst enemy? Why could I not glance in the mirror and just be content with who I was, instead of feeling immense disgust with every detail of my face, body, and soul? I felt as if Jesus Christ, the one man who was Lord and Savior had forsaken me. In both my heart and mind I continuously experienced abandonment not only in my physical environment but also in my spiritual environment. Reminiscing about the past, and all of the gossiping and tormenting of others in vulnerable, difficult situations, I am reminded of a profound message Eleanor Roosevelt once shared, Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

My one and only consolation was the volunteer work I began at the local Women’s and Children’s Shelter. Every week I would anticipate my arrival to this shelter, this refuge which enabled me to escape all of my worries and fears by facilitating others in obtaining their tranquility and hope for a brighter future…a future without abuse. I was assigned to the children’s area, and my responsibilities entailed reading to the children and exemplifying kind and nonthreatening behaviors. Whether I was preparing snacks or playing with the children on the swing set, I had a sense of peace and accomplishment. The experience was a single burning flame amidst the darkness. I truly believe it may have been just as, or perhaps more, therapeutic for me than the residents of the shelter.

High school years vanished, although the memories remained, and my college years began. I perceived college to be a fresh beginning in life. My grade point average was perfect, and I had developed a serious and promising relationship for the duration of my first eight months. Everything was blissful, and the one word

I repeatedly said to articulate my emotions was perfection. Until…my past

finally grasped me, and Satan had his reign over me once again. My boyfriend began consecutively degrading me for actions, behaviors, and mistakes I partook long before I even knew and loved him. Our relationship slowly yet surely deteriorated until the slightest difference of opinions resulted in quite a confrontation and screaming match about my past relationships. I could not conceive how this man I believed I would one day live happily ever after with could betray me by behaving comparable to the accumulation of men I had previously dated. How could I have been so blinded not to observe how unforgiving he was? How could I have been so complacent to him even though our relationship led me away from mercy? Or was I blinded by my own relentless ignorance?

Fortunately, my life became enriched by a disguised blessing. Since I was aspiring to be a doctor, attending twenty-one hours of classes, and I was employed as a dental assistant working fifteen hours a week, busy was quite an understatement. One evening when leaving work for a study session at the university, one mistake lasting all of ten seconds, generated a tremendous impact on my life. From that day forward, this abrupt car collision, altered my life as I knew it.

When I heard the screeching of the tires, and heard the horrid sound of the collision, I hurriedly pleaded to God for assistance. Initially, I was extremely frightened, disillusioned, and blacked out most of the incident. My next memory of that evening was looking around the hospital’s emergency room. When I overheard the police officials speaking to my parents about the severity of the crash and damage to the vehicle, I was astonished that my only injury was a rather large, yet minor bump on the side of my head. Because