Connecting with my Inner Me

By Keesha Clayton Harris

She is a tortured soul buried under the crippling weight of a deep southern Baptist
upbringing, replete with sexual, physical, and emotional abuse along with a healthy helping of good ole
Christian guilt. However, like magma under intense pressure, she burst forth in a fiery jet, destroying her
bonds and emerged as a low-key badass!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sincere
• Release date: Jan 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386954842

Book preview

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Resources

Acknowledgements

I cannot express enough thanks to my Ghostwriter, Shaun-Marie Cooke, for her continued support and encouragement. I offer my sincere appreciation for the learning opportunities we both experienced throughout the process of writing this book and for how she pushed, pulled, and encouraged me to tell my truth.

The completion of this project could not have been accomplished without the support of my best friends, Grace Gray, Star Wingo, and Candi Clark; and my children Keeyanna Harris, Kevonta Harris, and my granddaughter Kiersten McDonald Harris– thank you for allowing me time away from you in order to research and write. You deserve a trip to Disney!

A special thanks goes to my mother, Hattie Gee Clayton, for the countless times she babysat for Kiersten when things seemed too overwhelming for me. Your kindness and love will never be forgotten.

Finally, to my husband of 27 years I offer my deepest gratitude. We have traveled miles to get here, and we made it to the finish line! Your encouragement, when the times got rough, is much appreciated and duly noted. It was a great comfort to me and relief to know that you were willing to provide for the management of our household activities while I completed this important work.  You have my heartfelt thanks.

Introduction

My purpose of writing this book is to share my long, sometimes arduous yet ofttimes magical journey to discovering who I truly am and connecting to my Inner Being.

This personal spiritual journey ultimately began in 2011 when I started questioning the path that my life had taken through childhood, adolescence and adulthood along with acknowledging my crisis of faith after years of being a dutiful and committed follower of Christianity. During this time of deep reflection, I came to the realization that my marriage of twenty-plus years was not only not living up to my expectations, it was abusive and dangerous, my career was falling apart, and my beloved children were out of control.

As I started looking at how I moved through my everyday experience, I realized that I was living a totally undesirable reality. Thus I began to question everything that I had ever been taught about how to be a good girl and live a good Christian life.

Now I am a New Creature, totally connected to the Source of All Things and a deliberate creator of my own reality. Most importantly, for the first time in my life, I am fully and  totally in love with all aspects of myself. That was the bucket of gold I found at the end of the rainbow.

It is my most sincere desire that this book not only tell what I feel is an incredible, if not unique life story; I want this book to inspire and teach those who are seeking answers and freedom, just as I was at the start of my journey.

Keep in mind, Dear Reader, that you are not reading this book by accident. There are no coincidences and no accidents. The blessed Universe is deliberate in all that it allows. That being said, this book is more than just my story; it is a blueprint of my journey to freedom and enlightenment which includes resources for further reading along with information about how to begin a meditation practice and meditation retreats across the country where you can increase your self-awareness.

So sit back, relax and enjoy this book. Mark it up. Dog-ear the pages. Make it absolutely bristly with Post-It Notes. Most importantly, open your spirit and your mind and begin your own journey to connecting with your Inner Being.

Love Keesha.

Chapter 1

My name is Keesha Clayton Harris. I am a vibrant, forty-something woman, proud to say that I was born and raised in the Deep South - Mississippi to be exact. I am a daughter, sister, mother, proud grandmother, aunt, friend and teacher. My two children are the bright lights that resulted from a dark marriage that survived in spite of the damage it may have cost. I have been held in bondage of the mind, body and of the spirit. Most importantly, now I am free and this book is my Declaration of Independence. My freedom was in no way an easy thing to obtain. There were a lot of drastic changes that needed to be made in my life. You will read about them here. This is my story, a step by step map of my entire journey. It may seem familiar to you. It may parallel your own life. My greatest hope is that you will cry, laugh, understand and most importantly, be moved and inspired. Shall we proceed?

I was raised in Carthage, Mississippi with my parents’ greatest objective being that I would always be a good Christian child who evolved into a good Christian woman. Let us just say that as a child I was very good at doing what I was told: I was told to behave, so I did (mostly); I was told to respect my elders and do my part in my large immediate family, so I did; I was told to go to school, so of course I did. As an African-American in