At Times I've Felt Like Job: A Story of 'Choices'

By David Henry Patton

At Times I've Felt Like Job: A Story of 'Choices' is entitled as such, because just like Job in the Bible, I was blessed numerous times as a young person. At the same time, I also experienced a great deal of suffering, still my faith has never wavered!

I only really wish I could say the same about the rest of society, since it seems too many have left the church, and abandoned many of the lessons they were taught as a little child - wishing to live only for the moment. Well, this book - and the others that follow, are attempts to get people to right their wrongs, and return to the desired pathway that will lead them Homeward.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 7, 2024
• ISBN: 9781641916349

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At Times I've Felt Like Job

A Story of 'Choices'

David Henry Patton

ISBN 978-1-64191-633-2 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64191-675-2 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-64191-634-9 (digital)

Copyright © 2024 by David Henry Patton

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

Laying the Groundwork

Chapter 2

Setting the Stage

Chapter 3

In the Beginning

Chapter 4

Early School Years

Chapter 5

Living in the Shadow

Chapter 6

Oh, Those Tuition Headaches!

Chapter 7

Many More Blessings

Chapter 8

Enduring the Pain

Chapter 9

Trying to Get By

Chapter 10

Oh, the Agony!

Chapter 11

Receiving a Calling

Chapter 12

Susan Marie Budyak

Chapter 13

Getting Started

Chapter 14

Three's a Charm

Chapter 15

Chemical Imbalance

Chapter 16

Farewell

Chapter 17

Reaching Young Minds

Chapter 18

Drug Addiction

Chapter 19

So, What Is The Real Truth?

Chapter 20

Many Blessings Return

Chapter 21

Postscript

A Note on the Author

DEDICATED

This book is dedicated to all those individuals who have been inspired by loved ones to rise above obstacles placed before them in their journey through life – to those who have endured numerous hardships, yet have persevered, being made whole because of their trials – to those who at times were mired in brambles, yet still emerged from the darkness to bask in the glory of His light – to those who have stood fast in their faith in God, and have continually exalted His holy name.

At the same time, this book is meant for those who wish to restore family values and morality by putting into practice: ‘love people, not things – use things, not people.' Plus, to those who believe that every child has the ability to soar above the clouds like a kite, if given proper guidance and enough rope.

I think you'll also find that this story is intended as recommended reading for those who view life negatively – for those who are unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel – for those who feel discouraged and disillusioned from continually coming up short on projected goals, and have assumed a defeatist attitude. (At the same time, it's meant as recommended reading for family members who may have lost sight of their purpose in life and have drifted off, needing a bright beacon of hope to illuminate their path Homeward.)

I think you'll also quickly find that numerous very special young ladies have greatly impacted my life in becoming my ‘best' friend – in helping to ‘open' my eyes – in helping to ‘warm' my cold heart – in helping me ‘find' my direction in life. Regrettably, three of them: Mary Jane Patton (mother), Candice Sue Patton (sister), and Susan Marie Patton (wife), DEPARTED prematurely this earthly existence to join their Heavenly Father. (And, all have been sorely missed!)

I also wish to dedicate this book to my stepbrother, and brothers: Doug, Jim, and Mark, as well as, my stepsisters and sister: JoAnn, Sandy, and Beverly. Likewise, to my children, Jeffrey, Jason, and Sarah, as well as, to anyone else with whom I've come in contact, since all have – in their own ways, been blessed numerous times, yet too have known their own share of sorrows.

I would also be remiss if I didn't dedicate this to my late stepmother, Mary Eliza (Preussner) Patton! After all, during her abbreviated lifetime here on earth, she was very gracious and accepting of all my shortcomings, even though I often neglected to show my appreciation for her efforts in trying to hold together a blended family!

I would also like to dedicate this book to all my Patton, Carrothers, and Baskerville relatives; the Right To Life movement; the Clarity Clinic; the Young Entrepreneurs of Tomorrow; Two By Two: Kindhearted Kids; E. B. Lyons Nature Center; the devoted picketers outside the now closed Planned Parenthood; Dubuque Lodge #3; Dubuque County Shrine Club; Kaaba Shriners; High Twelve #119; Julien Chapter #125 of Eastern Star; plus all the students and dedicated staff at the former Central Alternative High School in Dubuque who together helped me clarify and redefine my new mission in life. (I should also point out, as I become more familiar with the work of the Shriners and the related degree work in Masonry, I'm beginning to realize that there is much more that I have yet to offer!)

Above all, I wish to dedicate this book to my father! See, if anyone, he should be authoring this book, since it is his faith that has remained strong in spite of having had to endure so much!

Now, I'll admit, there are moments throughout this tale where I seem to question some of Dad's ‘choices'! Yet, I'm just beginning to realize that he was only doing what he thought was best for all of us. The only thing is, it has taken over five decades, and the passing of my own wife, before I was finally able to ‘open' my eyes to all my self-centeredness – being unwilling to accept all of the change taking place around me, as well as, being unable to move on in life! (A fact pointed out by a much wiser messenger sent by God!)

Introduction

While I don't understand everything about ‘predestination', I do believe that God has a plan for each of us. Now, granted, while we may never know or fully understand what that plan is, or our role in it, I firmly believe that if we stay close to the ‘narrow pathway' – the one ‘less traveled', we'll be richly rewarded.

Part of that plan, I believe, has people – oftentimes, complete strangers making significant contributions to our lives. That's because, I've encountered several individuals in my lifetime whose lives miraculously mirrored my own – individuals who have had similar life-altering experiences, many miles apart at the same moment in time, yet we were completely oblivious to each other's existence. Therefore, when our paths finally did cross – many years later, I viewed that chance encounter as a ‘heavenly sign'. (So, while I may never fully understand its significance, I believe those individuals entered my life for a reason.)

I also believe that during our lifetime God has enabled us to make ‘choices' – ‘choices' that often test our most basic values and beliefs. Then, based upon our decisions and ‘choices' we make, He sets our course.

I'll admit, while a pathway may have initially been set at conception, I believe there are a myriad of other additional ‘choices' and new pathways laid out before us during our lifetime. (In other words, while our journey through life may not necessarily have been determined specifically at birth, I believe that with each new ‘choice' we make, a new course is set.)

After all, when one really thinks about it, our life resembles a book that gives the reader an unlimited number of ‘choices' as to how they would like the story to continue. If, for example, you think the story should continue this way, turn to page such-and-such. Then again, if you think it should continue differently, turn to a different page.

Sad to say, the paths that many of us have ‘chosen' to take are the ones traveled by most – ones that are lined with temptation and sinfulness – in other words, the paths of ‘least' resistance! (See, I should know, since this is what I find myself facing daily and have to keep asking myself, Do I go along and follow the crowd, or do I break rank and do what I feel is right in my heart?)

Personally, I try to listen to that inner voice and follow the lessons from childhood, particularly those from the Ten Commandments – just as many others try to do. (Unfortunately, not all of my ‘choices' have been sound ones!)

While I have faltered numerous times, God realizes that it is through mistakes that we gain knowledge. So, even though I may often stumble and fall, I believe He is always nearby, ready to take hold of my hand and help get me back on my feet. (All the while, He's continually trying to redirect them to once more follow Him.)

OVERVIEW

I think I can say, life is like a rollercoaster with many ups and downs – with many peaks and valleys, combined with numerous twists and turns thrown in for good measure. The only thing is, to successfully traverse the undulating hills and the vast expanse, yet still be in one piece by the ride's end, takes the courage of a risktaker and a great deal of perseverance.

I'll also admit, while there will always be mistakes made by individuals along life's pathway, the sign of a successful sojourner is the one who can make the needed adjustments to negate the roughness of the ride. (Simply put, while everyone enjoys reaching the numerous heights, unless one is well prepared, a tumble down into the deep abyss will soon follow!)

It also seems everyone enjoys an inspiring story, especially where the little guy (both literally and figuratively) overcomes tremendous odds and comes out on top – where due to hard work and determination, as well as, making use of God-given talents, individuals are able to prosper by making due with the hand they were dealt.

Not surprisingly, people throughout history have turned to these stories of inspiration to ease stress and to deal with moments of crisis, thereby, restoring self-confidence and putting pride back into lives where the two seem to have been lacking. (The only thing is, while there are literally millions of moving stories of people who have pulled themselves up by the bootstraps, unless they are recorded for others to read, these oral renditions of courage and valor will only remain alive in the hearts and minds of those who actually lived them!)

I should also mention, the story that you are about to read is one that everyone should be able to identify with, since we have all been faced with our own set of trials and tribulations. We've also all been faced with temptations and having to own up to questionable ‘choices', that have either changed or altered our life, or those around us. So, knowing all this, the real intent of this tale is to help everyone appreciate all the blessings that have been bestowed upon them, and then to take time to thank their Creator.

PURPOSE

The family has always been one of the biggest determining factors in how a person turns out. After all, if parents are good role-models, then their children will, more than likely also tend to exhibit those same positive attributes during their lifetime. (Then again, if parents are abusive and put their interests ahead of their children, shouldn't we expect their children to eventually do the same?)

Let's also not forget, to have a happy household, it takes two parents who share unconditional love and devotion to one another. Plus, once united, they need to continually demonstrate that love, not only for their spouse, but for life itself. For without being able to show love for all of God's creation, their existence will become extremely shallow!

I should also point out, the arrival of offspring often accompanies this union. So, while it would be best suited if the couple remained married, I have witnessed some very positive parenting being displayed by singles. (Just remember, the greatest gift that parents can ever give to their children is not only showing their love to one another, but to their offspring as well, since children are a true reflection of parents, as well as, an extension of their lives.)

It's also during these years that parents should be promoting the much-needed values that will be carried on by their offspring well into the future. And, the best way to do this is by parents personally putting into practice the very same lessons that they're trying to pass along.

An author writes for several reasons: to entertain – to inform – to persuade. Well, in the account you are about to read, I hope to hit on all three, yet the main purpose is to point out how it appears that society is slowly destroying itself from within by pulling away from the very precepts and principles that were first introduced and ingrained in us as little children.

Also, how the corruptive power of greed and the need to control another's life are two temptations that are contributing to our demise. And, unless we rein in our desire to possess more, we'll soon become our own worst enemy!

Another reason that I'm coming forward at this juncture in life is because I feel I've received yet another calling – a calling to point out society's shortcomings and where we have all strayed – yes, even myself! That's because, over the years, I have witnessed the lessening of the importance of God in those around me – many whom supposedly professed to have a strong faith! Yet, it appears their faith is strictly ‘conditional' – only strong as long as things turn out the way they want them to!

As a result, they are more prone to temptation and taking the road traveled by others when things go awry. (Just as disheartening, it appears that many have turned totally away from God to worship golden idols in hopes of enriching their lives, padding their pocketbook, or living the way they want to live, rather than for how they were meant to live!)

Part of the reason, I believe, was driven by a booming economy during the '80s and '90s, as well as, a desire for more leisure time. (That's in addition to continually ‘wanting' even more power and materialistic wealth!)

Largely, because of that, many have forgotten just how this country's success and freedom was attained through hard work, determination, a never give up attitude, but more importantly, a strong belief in God! Instead, many have become more interested in acquiring possessions, accumulating wealth, and seeking power in the quickest, easiest way possible. (Plus, if that means walking over and destroying another's life and self-esteem to achieve that goal, then so be it!)

‘Success', after all, seems to be the driving force here. Years ago, it meant to make the most of what one had, to share one's God-given talents with those around you, and to raise children who could contribute positively to society. (Let's also not forget, back then ‘success' was measured more in the eyes of others, than in one's own! However, nowadays, it's taken on a whole new meaning!)

That's because, people have suddenly become like a bulimic ‘Doubting' Thomas – they must see that they are successful, before they will believe! Still, even after seeing, they don't believe, as they'll continue to gorge themselves with even more success and power, before eventually ‘purging' and ‘relinquishing' everything – their self-respect – their dignity – their self-worth – their pride – everything! (Worse yet, since they can't seem to help themselves, the cycle continually repeats itself over and over again.)

It also bothers me that too many people are looking for shortcuts so they can obtain instant gratification! After all, just look how many people have turned to gambling with the idea of getting rich quick, ‘surefire' weight loss programs to help return to shapely figures of yesterday years, or to various forms of drugs to relieve stress. The only thing is, since few, if any of these ‘fixes' seem to produce long-lasting results, they have become disillusioned and their lives are now desperately looking for the next ‘quick fix' that comes along that promises to instantly turn their life around!

To compound matters, whether their dissatisfaction is with the running of the government, demands being made by employers or employees, high expectations made by family members, or a myriad of other reasons, it appears that just about everyone has an ‘axe to grind'! They'll then try pointing a finger at someone or something else that has made them feel that way.

The only thing is, while many may feel there is something about another that upsets them, they also need to realize that the only person they can ever change, or have any control over is themselves! Yup, that's right! See, if we really expect that there will one day be love and compassion in this world, then it has to first start in one's own heart and radiate out from there.

I'm also greatly concerned with the direction that society is headed with its leniency, promiscuity, lack of morality, as well as, many parents' unwillingness to assume responsibility in raising their own children! (Matter fact, it bothered me so much that I opted to take time off from being in front of the classroom so that I could voice my concerns!)

Besides, if I, or anyone else feels strongly about something, yet sits back and does nothing, then nothing will be gained. On the other hand, if I, or someone else can possibly point out deficiencies and make constructive suggestions in how to correct those errors, then change just might occur.

There also comes a point in everyone's life when they feel they must take a stand. For me, it's now! See, I'm taking a stand against injustices against fellow humans – against the immorality that seems to be permeating this land – against the way many parents are shirking in their responsibility in dealing with the only ‘real' legacy that they should ever worry about leaving behind!

That's why, after 33-years in front of the classroom – years of trying to instill purpose, meaning, and values into young people's lives – values that so many seem to be lacking – yet making little progress, especially, in my latter years, I decided to change hats. (Therefore, rather than continually speaking directly to children and getting nowhere fast, I decided to address adults through my writings.)

Meanwhile, my hope has always been that parents and other influential adults – the ones who make the biggest and longest-lasting difference – the individuals who are the ‘real' teachers in children's lives might carefully reflect upon how they're impacting youth!

I say that because, there are too few parents who have, first of all, expressed to their offspring what their expectations are, and then were willing to help show them how to achieve those expectations. There are also too few who have first established boundaries, and then provided the guidance needed to stay within them. Worse yet, I have seen too few parents who say they ‘really' love their children and then backed it up through their actions, since few actually practice what they preach!

(Oh, don't get me wrong, since there are many excellent examples of good parenting going on out there! The only thing is, many of those exemplarity examples are not as compelling to read about, as are the more deviant ones!)

Just as disheartening, many parents are of the mindset that since they are doing better than the ones that are daily publicized, they're doing a good job! Yet, what they don't realize, parenting is a lifelong commitment. (Therefore, their role-modeling, must remain consistent during that entire time – not just for a brief moment in history!)

Childrearing, after all – the very skill that is most basic and essential for the survival of our species, has largely been ignored! Oh, sure, advances have definitely been made in other areas! However, I see just the opposite taking place in bringing up youngsters, as too many are falling through the cracks since they are not receiving the love and attention that they seek or deserve!

Part of the reason, I believe, is because mom and dad have turned away from how they were raised – ‘choosing' instead to hand that responsibility over to others – many with questionable motives and values, and are only interested in satisfying their own ‘wants' and ‘needs', rather than that of the child they brought forth into this world!

Don't for an instant, however, think I know all the answers! You see, I too am human and have made countless errors – errors that I later regretted. The difference being, rather than trying to make up excuses and ‘passing the buck' onto others, I have tried to take responsibility and ownership for my misjudgments.

Truth be known, it's because I've made numerous mistakes, but knew at the time there were better ‘choices' that I could, and should have made, that I now write. (I, therefore, do not write so much from my successes, but rather from my shortcomings.)

I think I can also say, in the pages that follow, while it may appear that I am passing judgment on others, I'm actually passing it on myself, since I have fallen far short of what God would desire of me. At the same time, I need to continually work on being much more of a ‘giver', and less of a ‘taker'. I also need to work on not being as persistent, bold, hardheaded, tenacious, and unrelenting in my various stances. (Strange as it might seem, some have even suggested that I should just ‘change with the times', and ‘go along with the flow'!)

But, aren't we in the mess we're in because too many are continually going along with the flow? Besides, how can I be accepting of actions and behavior that goes completely against how I was raised? (Worse yet, if I don't like what's going on around me, I'd be a total hypocrite and phony if I then went along and did the very same thing!)

Well, if you haven't already guessed, I refuse to go there! That's because, my ‘choice' has always been to stay the course – to remain with my long held values – to treasure my upbringing! I think I can also say, after reading this account, I hope others will awaken to where they too need to take a stand, and be led by their conviction, rather than the fickleness of society!

At the same time, it is my sincere hope that many of those same people, after doing a great deal of soul-searching, will not only come to realize how blessed they have been, but will also find the courage to step forward to share their stories! (See, in spite of all the turmoil that this world finds itself in, recorded stories of faith are greatly needed!)

I should also point out, in the account you are about to read, the number and the degree of losses that I've encountered may be pale in comparison to what others have endured. Then again, it's not the quantity, not the quality, or even the severity of those setbacks that are most important to me, but rather how individuals have ‘chosen' to deal with their uphill struggles!

With that in mind, since the area of language arts has always been my weakest, please overlook any grammatical and punctuation errors. The same would be true if my arguments or the style of my writing doesn't conform to most standards. (Instead, I'd like the reader to concentrate more on the messages that I've been trying to pass along, before the morality in this country sinks any lower!)

Sad to say, since much of society has been conditioned to question everything, I'm sure that there will be many politicians and theologians – there will be many educators and lawyers – there will be many physicians and other well-schooled individuals who will want to debate my precise ‘choice' of words and the arguments that I'm setting forth.

While many would be concerned with this response, I personally welcome it, since it means it has caused others to start thinking for themselves. See, they could be much like the rest of society and just begin to ‘pass the buck', or they can ‘choose' to admit their own shortcomings and attempt to do something about them. (Besides, if I can help put some semblance of order back into this disorganized and chaotic world, then I will have accomplished much of what I set out to achieve!)

You might have also guessed, this work is not nearly as polished, or as noteworthy as works done by others. Then again, with the world desperately seeking answers for why things have run amuck, I felt compelled to share my past, as well as, my outlook on life. At the same time, it is my sincere hope that others will begin to count their blessings too, if they haven't yet done so!

I should also point out, something that I've often said while I was in front of the classroom was, The sign of an intelligent person is not necessarily the individual who never makes a mistake, but rather the one that when a mistake is made, quickly corrects it. For if a mistake takes place and is not corrected, then the same mistake will – more than likely, be repeated again and again – worst yet, little knowledge will will have been gained! Then again, once corrected, rarely will that same mistake reoccur!

To be honest with you, it is out of the love, compassion, and all of the lessons in life that were instilled by my mother and father but, more importantly, my devotion to God that I now write.

(I'll also admit, while some of the accomplishments that I'm about to describe may sound as if I am bragging or boasting, I'm merely pointing out a small fraction of the blessings that God has bestowed upon me, as well as, some of the suffering I've had to endure. See, in doing so, I want the reader to not only see a correlation between Job and myself, but how it may also parallel their own life.)

FOREWoRD

I also really don't know if others are deep thinkers, but this tends to be something that consumes much of my time. (See, while others like to verbally express their views on various matters, I like to hash them over, continually internalizing and digesting the information, while trying to decide what response should be made for a particular situation or stimuli.)

For that reason, I have often been labeled a daydreamer. Yet, in my mind, I value this time in my own little world. That's because, this is time for meditating, especially when I'm in the midst of nature – surrounded by God's handiwork, while also listening to His familiar sounds. Matter fact, it is when I am sitting in what others would view as complete silence, that I'm able to talk with God and to feel His presence without all the outside, worldly influences.

Even as I sat writing this tale, I was able to feel God by my side, guiding my hands, and whispering in my ear. (So, while this manuscript was not meant to set the literary world on fire, it was meant to fire up individuals to live a more righteous life.)

Actually, the question that should be asked is, ‘While we're all well-versed at verbally expressing to God and others how we feel on various matters, I wonder how many of us have taken the time to REALLY listen to what He has to say?' (See, He asks so little of us, yet we're continually DEMANDING much more!)

I think I can also say, I have always liked to express my feelings verbally, but until recently, I have struggled to express how I felt about things in my writings. That's because, ever since my high school days, my writings have always been very stoic – very exacting – very deliberate with very little room for feelings or emotions. (Truth be known, it wasn't until shortly after my wife passed away on August 25, 1997, that I found that I really have a heart!)

Even then, it takes a great deal of effort knowing exactly what to say, and how to say it! That's because, my mind is constantly racing. (See, one moment, one thought is present – a second later, something else!)

So, since I find it difficult to stay on one topic very long, trying to write anything longhand is extremely taxing! (Truth be known, it wasn't until modern technology came along – where I could cut and paste – where I could easily go back and edit – where I could insert and delete – where I could take advantage of spell check, that the quality of my writings have significantly improved!)

Still, even with all of these capabilities and innovations, composing anything in front of the keyboard is done painstakingly! That's because, not only do I have to come up with the right wording, but my typing skills have been reduced to a ‘hunt and peck', as well as, finding myself getting off track and digressing.

In other words, while this story was easy to write, since I had much of the material already in my head, it was mentally draining having to force myself to relive much of my past! (So, while writing an account of my life has been spiritually therapeutic, it's also resulted in mental fatigue, trying to take my random thoughts and putting them in some semblance of order!)

I should also point out, while God is always nearby, His evil nemesis keeps putting up roadblocks to try to prevent me from getting this story out! See, whether it is numerous computer glitches – lost data – broken bones from a fall – missing scheduled deadlines – or dealing with life-threatening illnesses, His evil nemesis is determined to prevent me from getting my tale out before the public's eye! Then again, since God continually keeps acting as my strength and shield, I am determined to keep pushing forward!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Actually, I have felt a real need to write on this topic for some time. The only thing is, before now, I questioned my ability to deliver the message. That's because, I not only lacked faith in my writings skills, but I also kept running from God!

It then took several things, including listening to a series of sermons from Jonah in the spring of 2003, before I awoke and took this calling seriously. See, in that particular series entitled, You Can Run, But You Can't Hide, Reverend Goldsmith prefaced it by saying that he believed that the stories found in the Bible are each of our own.

Ironically, a year before this, my daughter, Sarah, was completing her studies at the University of Iowa. At which time, she pulled me aside and asked, Dad, why is God so important to you? I mean, with all the hardships that you've encountered during the course of your lifetime, haven't you ever questioned His existence or His presence?

Well, if you haven't already guessed, I was at a complete loss for words! See, while there have been times that I felt lost and abandoned, almost immediately afterwards little miracles surfaced, bringing my focus back to Him and overshadowing any setbacks that I might have encountered along the way. (In other words, while I might have known suffering, I never felt that He ever permitted me to take on more than I could handle.)

You also need to know, while my faith has been ‘confrontational', it has also been ‘reassuring'. For that reason, it has helped me sort out what is really important from that which is not. Just as importantly, it's helped me face up to issues that I previously felt helpless against and have tried to avoid! (To be honest with you, things are now much clearer and more meaningful than ever before!)

I think you can also probably guess, my initial response to Sarah's question seemed like regurgitating trite, overused answers given by most. Because, I began saying things like, I find God and religion to be very gratifying – very inspiring – very moving – very exhilarating – very comforting – very motivating!

Yet, when I stepped back and reflected, I found that my relationship with God – just like everyone else, is very ‘personal'. (Therefore, even if I had the ability, I could never fully put into words my appreciation and thankfulness for all He has ever done!)

The only thing is, while I found it very difficult to put my feelings about God verbally into a short, concise response for Sarah, I know the important thing is that He is always present to watch over me. (Sarah, meanwhile, is going to have to personally experience His love for herself, in her own way, if she is ever going to really understand the meaning that I am trying to pass along.)

I would also be remiss not to acknowledge Christa Gallucci, affiliated with Christa Gallucci Photography who supplied much of the early technical assistance – the clerical work – the burning of a C.D., as well as, helping me contact various book publishers at a time when she, herself, had personal issues that she was dealing with.

I also greatly appreciate the assistance of all the Graham Circle neighbors – all Red Cross volunteers, especially Catherine Basten – the choir and congregation of Westminster Presbyterian Church – fellow teachers and staff at Eisenhower Elementary – Tristate Area Dancers – Social Connection for Singles – fellow Masons, particularly the Shriners – the same is true for all Noon Optimist members for their exemplary work as they continually try to improve the lives of our young people in Dubuque, as well as, teaching colleagues Kristin Vaassen's, Arline Dieterich's, and Paul Ruzicka's encouragement – likewise, dance partner Darlene Gibson's and friends Madelin Fuerste's, Frankie Brandt's, plus LaVerne and Harlen Appleby's continued support to never give up in my quest to pursue my interests and dreams.

Let's also not forget, the Coggon Area Betterment Association, proofreaders Jenni Archibald, Rebecca Rowe, Brian Baker, Theresa Crabill, and Jean Cheever. Then, there's renters Galen and Greg McAtee, as well as, illustrator Connie Fuerstenberg. (I should also point out, hard copies and computer disks were made at both Copyworks and Staples in Dubuque.)

I would now like to acknowledge Zion Presbyterian Church, Buffalo Bay Grain in Coggon, First Presbyterian Church, the Leonard-Muller Funeral Home, the Meadows, the Good Neighbor Home, and the Manchester Livestock Auction (sale barn), as well as, the Holiday Inn in Dubuque, since they all played pivotal roles in the life of my family.

I need to also point out, while I was able to make out most of the names of the photographers on the various pictures, there were a few I had trouble identifying. Therefore, if you were one of them, please forgive me.

I would now like to recognize them in no particular order: Olin Mills, Weber Studios, Ron Hansen, Wilson Studios, Cox Studios, Nauman Photography, The Manchester Press, The Manchester Democrat-Radio, Huska Kray, Ethel Smith Studios, plus Lasswell and Lassilau Studios in Cedar Rapids.

DISCLAIMER

I think it could be said that during my earlier years, teachers have often suggested that it's best to write about things that you're familiar with, and knowledgeable about. That's why, for my first attempt at authoring a book I've ‘chosen' to do my memoirs. After all, my life is definitely something that I'm very familiar with, plus I think you'll also find quite intriguing, since I've repeatedly tried to bring my deepest thoughts and feelings to the forefront!

I think you'll also quickly notice that in this tale, I was more interested in its content, than its presentation. Therefore, don't be surprised when you come to several chapters in the second book, So, Where Did We Go Wrong?, where the last couple lines on one page suddenly becomes the first lines on the next, or where several of the chapters are in multiple parts. Likewise, when lines appear for no apparent reason. (See, I consider myself to be technologically challenged, since I'm still working on my keyboarding proficiency.)

Another thing I would like to point out is I have purposely ‘chosen' to conceal the identity of some of the characters in this tale. So, while it's important what they said, it's not necessary knowing who actually said it! (I should also point out, I somehow misplaced the names of the authors of several of the e-mails. Therefore, if you were one of the originators, please forgive me!)

I think you can also probably guess, in the dialogue, the statements are what I thought I heard people say – not exactly word-for-word what was said! (At the same time, the reprinted letters, emails, and editorials are all paraphrased.)

I should also point out, whenever I refer to God, I often use the pronoun ‘He', just as it is used in the Bible. (Then again, that's the only pronoun that I've ever known to describe Him.)

Plus, whenever I refer to ‘man', I'm actually referring to all mankind. (Let's also not forget, the quoted biblical scriptures found in the text originated from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible that was presented to me when I became a member of the First Presbyterian Church in Manchester, Easter Sunday, April 2, 1961.)

Sad to say, fictional stories in recent years have captivated people's attention with Harry Potter-like stories that glamorize magic and fanciful ideas. Yet, I'm of the opinion that more nonfiction stories are urgently needed to help keep everything in balance. (That way, it would enable readers to focus on real-life issues and concerns – something that all of us need to zero in on much more!)

I should also point out, the timeline for these books cover the middle of the twentieth century to the beginning of the twenty-first century – basically, my first 60-years. The reason I mention that is because others have shared with me that prior to the '50s life was just as enjoyable – only in a different way. (More importantly, the concerns they faced ‘appeared' to be just as daunting!)

Well, thank goodness, we were able to successfully deal with many of those earlier issues! The question now remains – will we be able to say the same about our present dilemma? (Only God knows the answer to that!)

Chapter 1

Laying the Groundwork

The story you are about to read is true—or at least, I think it is. You see, there have been so many unexplainable and conflicting events in my life that I'm not sure what actually happened and what I've imagined! Even more startling, it was just a few years ago when I first sat down to record this tale that I began to unravel the mystery behind these timely events! It was then that I began to appreciate them for the miracles that they truly are. So, while I've always sought the truth – the whole truth – and nothing but the truth, at least up until now, I've been somewhat hesitant to face up to that same truth!

I think most people also realize whether one likes to admit it or not, events happen for a reason known only to God. The only thing is, try as we might to change their outcome, little can be done to alter history. (See, as much as I would like to turn back the hands of time and to wipe the slate clean of what happened in the tale you're about to read, for some reason, it was meant to be! I, therefore, need to concentrate more on all the positives and learn to live with all the negatives associated with this personal tragedy.)

[Flashback] October 31, 1964, a day that has been indelibly imprinted upon my heart and mind – a day that saw the very life and breath squeezed out of a loving mother as a steering wheel crushed her helpless body, entombing her lifeless form against the sides of her iron sepulcher, while fragmented portions of her scalp dangled eerily from the rearview mirror. Next to her, meanwhile, lies an angelic little daughter with radio knobs protruding from her perforated skull, while a dazed son's limp body slumps across the front seat, disfigured after a run-in with a now obliterated windshield. (This was, after all, a day that marked not only the shattering of human bones, but also of dreams for those left behind!)

That's because, this is my story – the lone survivor in our vehicle – the son, who probably in many ways was impacted physically, mentally, emotionally, plus spiritually more than any other family member! The only thing is, while I've tried to justify this horrendous tragedy in my mind—a tragedy that could have easily been averted, a grievous, mind-boggling nightmare that has altered the lives of countless individuals, I still get all choked up thinking how things might have been different had I not changed schools!

As a result, that particular day and all the events surrounding it have greatly impacted my life! So, much so, that to commemorate their loss, I have ‘chosen' to dedicate the rest of my life, not only to God, but also in memory of my mother and little sister!

I'll also admit, while I continually long for answers to my many lingering questions, I'm also hesitant to do much more digging! That's because, here it is over five decades after the fact, plus now that I feel that I'm once more back in the good graces of my father, I don't want to alienate him or put him once more through all the agony and suffering that he has had to endure. Therefore, I'm somewhat hesitant to drag anymore up from the grave. (Still, for me to have some kind of closure, I feel I need to know the rest of the story!)

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Have you ever been at a point in your