SO, Where Did We Go Wrong?: A thought-provoking look at society, and what I think has gone wrong with it in the last sixty years.

By David Henry Patton

So Where Did We Go Wrong? is titled as such because, in the last sixty years, I have witnessed the very values that many have grown up with and have tried to follow being abandoned in exchange for the pursuit of earthly possessions. Just as disheartening, walking over and ignoring the "little" people that might get in the way.

The same can be said of the rest of society! Since it seems too many have left the church and have sacrificed their integrity, wishing to live only for the moment. Anyway, this book--and the others that follow, are my attempt to get them to right their wrongs and return to the desired pathway that will lead them Homeward.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 7, 2024
• ISBN: 9798889438700

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SO, Where Did We Go Wrong?

A thought-provoking look at society, and what I think has gone wrong with it in the last sixty years.

David Henry Patton

ISBN 979-8-88943-869-4 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88943-962-2 (hardcover)

ISBN 979-8-88943-870-0 (digital)

Copyright © 2024 by David Henry Patton

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Dedicated

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Overview

Chapter 1

Singleness

Chapter 2

Marriage

Chapter 3

Society's Moral Decline

Chapter 4

Societal Moral Decline Part 2

Chapter 5

Societal Moral Decline Part 3

Chapter 6

Societal Moral Decline Part 4

Chapter 7

Parental Concerns

Chapter 8

Parental Concerns Part 2

Chapter 9

Lessons Learned Along The Way

Chapter 10

Lessons Learned Along The Way: Part 2

Chapter 11

Lessons Learned Along The Way Part 3

Chapter 12

Lessons Learned Along The Way Part 4

Chapter 13

More Of The Same

Chapter 14

So, What Does The Law Say?

Chapter 15

So, Now What?

Chapter 16

Afterthought

A Note on the Author

Dedicated

Like I said, these books are dedicated to all those individuals who have been inspired by loved ones to rise above obstacles placed before them in their journey through life—to those who have endured numerous hardships, yet have persevered, being made whole because of their trials – to those who, at times, were mired in brambles, still emerged from the darkness to bask in the glory of His light – to those who have stood fast in their faith in God, and have continually exalted His holy name.

This book is also meant for those who wish to restore family values and morality by putting into practice love people, not things—use things, not people. Plus, to those who believe that every child has the ability to soar above the clouds like a kite, if given proper guidance and enough rope.

I think you'll also find that this story is intended as recommended reading for those who view life negatively; for those who are unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel; for those who feel discouraged and disillusioned from continually coming up short on projected goals, and have assumed a defeatist attitude. (At the same time, it's meant as recommended reading for family members who may have lost sight of their purpose in life and have drifted off, needing a bright beacon of hope to illuminate the path Homeward.)

I think you'll also quickly find that numerous very special young ladies have greatly impacted my life in becoming my best friend—in helping to open my eyes – in helping to warm my cold heart – in helping me find my direction in life. Sad to say, three of them: Mary Jane Patton (mother); Candice Sue Patton (sister); and Susan Marie Patton (wife) departed this earthly existence prematurely to join their Heavenly Father. (And, all have been sorely missed!)

I also wish to dedicate this book to my stepbrother and brothers: Doug, Jim, and Mark, as well as, my stepsisters and sister: JoAnn, Sandy, and Beverly. Likewise, to my children: Jeffrey, Jason, and Sarah, as well as, to anyone else with whom I've come in contact, since all have—in their own ways, been blessed numerous times, yet too have known their own share of sorrows.

I would also be remiss if I didn't dedicate this to my late stepmother, Mary Eliza (Preussner) Patton! See, during her abbreviated lifetime here on earth, she was very gracious and accepting of all my shortcomings, even though I often neglected to show my appreciation for her efforts in trying to hold together a blended family!

I would also like to dedicate this book to all my Patton; Carrothers; and Baskerville relatives; the Right To Life movement; the Clarity Clinic; the Young Entrepreneurs of Tomorrow; Two By Two: Kindhearted Kids; E. B. Lyons Nature Center; the devoted picketers outside the now closed Planned Parenthood; Dubuque Lodge #3; Dubuque County Shrine Club, now the Key City Shrine Club; Kaaba Shriners; High Twelve #119; Julien Chapter #125 of Eastern Star; plus all the students and dedicated staff at the former Central Alternative High School in Dubuque, who together helped me clarify and redefine my new mission in life. (I should also point out, as I become more familiar with the work of the Shriners, and the related degree work in Masonry, I'm beginning to realize that there is much more that I have yet to offer.)

Above all, I wish to dedicate this book to my father. You see, if anyone, he should be authoring this book, since it is his faith that has remained strong in spite of having had to endure so much.

I'll also admit, there are moments throughout this tale where I seem to question some of Dad's choices! Yet, I'm just beginning to realize that he was only doing what he thought was best for all of us. Unfortunately, it has taken over four decades and the passing of my own wife before I was finally able to open my eyes to all my self-centeredness—being unwilling to accept all the change taking place around me, as well as, being unable to move on in life! (A fact pointed out by a much wiser messenger sent by God!)

Acknowledgments

I would also be remiss not to acknowledge Christa Gallucci, affiliated with Christa Gallucci Photography, who supplied much of the early technical assistance: the clerical work; the burning of CDs, as well as, helping me contact various book publishers at a time when she herself had personal issues that she was dealing with.

I also greatly appreciate the assistance of all the Graham Circle neighbors; all Red Cross volunteers, especially Catherine Basten; the choir and congregation of Westminster Presbyterian Church; fellow teachers and staff at Eisenhower Elementary School; Tristate Area Dancers; Social Connection for Singles; likewise, fellow Masons – particularly, the Shriners. The same is true for all Noon Optimist members, for their exemplary work, as they continually try to improve the lives of our young people, as well as, teaching colleagues Kristin Vaassen's, Arline Dieterich's, and Paul Ruzicka's encouragement. In addition; dance partner Darlene Gibson's, Madelin Fuerste's, Frankie Brandt's, plus LaVerne and Harlen Appleby's continued support to never give up in my quest to pursue my interests and dreams.

Let's also not forget, there's the Coggon Area Betterment Association; proofreaders Jenni Archibald, Rebecca Rowe, Brian Baker, Theresa Crabill, Jean Cheever; plus, renters Galen and Greg McAtee, as well as, illustrator Connie Fuerstenberg. (I should also point out, hard copies and computer disks were made at both Copyworks and Staples in Dubuque.)

I would now like to acknowledge Zion Presbyterian Church and Buffalo Bay Grain in Coggon; First Presbyterian Church, the Leonard-Muller Funeral Home, the Meadows, the Good Neighbor Home, and the Manchester Livestock Auction (sale barn); as well as, the Holiday Inn in Dubuque, since they all played pivotal roles in the life of my family.

Introduction

Not surprisingly, this country – actually, every country in this world, was first established around a set of rules or laws—laws that were meant to be enforced evenly on everyone. Which simply means, in addition to having to conform to God's laws in the form of the Ten Commandments, we also have to conform to man's laws. (Fortunately, the two sets of laws somewhat complement each other. And, all was well!)

I also really don't know why, but for some reason, we humans seem to need to have restrictions and limitations in place, to help us know how to act and behave. (See, without them, there is only chaos and rioting, which is exactly what is happening at this very moment – not only in this country, but also around the world!)

The only thing is, while we want – even need rules and limitations, if things don't go our way, for some reason, we'll often take the law into our own hands. (In other words, take on a vigilante type of mentality.)

Largely, because of that, rather than admiring police officers and soldiers who, over the years, have been trying to protect our way of life; both on the streets and abroad, they're often spat upon and looked down upon with disgust and disdain—a learned behavior taught to them by someone who has little, or no respect for the law!

As a matter fact, nowadays, it seems whenever there is a police shooting – for many, it's a time for celebration! To make matters worse, as divided as this country is, especially after this last presidential election, I envision even more protests; even more rioting; even more killings; unless something drastically changes, not only on the streets, but also in our own hearts.

I should also point out, at one time, I was seriously looking at a career in law enforcement. That's because, I believe this country has laws in place that are meant to protect life. Unfortunately, too many law enforcement personnel – even members of the judicial system, have regularly interpreted the laws the way they think they should be interpreted, especially if a noteworthy personality is involved. (It then becomes a matter of just giving the offender a slap on the wrist, while others are harshly punished!)

That, however, was when I was naively under the impression that the little town of Mayberry was symbolic of small-town America! But, not anymore! (No, nowadays, you couldn't pay me enough to don a uniform and strap on a gun!)

See, I've heard too many horror stories of husbands and wives, sons or daughters, leaving home in the morning to work for law enforcement; with the hope of returning safely at the end of their shift at night—only, to never return! (Instead, I do my part by reporting suspicious and illegal activities.)

To go along with that, every time a suspect goes to court, the arresting officer is expected to also report, taking him/her away from their other duties. The defense attorney then, too often, asks to reschedule the trial for a later date. The officer, not surprisingly, gets upset for having wasted all their time for nothing.

Worse yet, if the defense attorney keeps asking for a later trial date, eventually the officer decides, It's not worth it! and, eventually, fails to appear. You can also probably guess, the defense attorney then decides it's time to get on with the trial. Naturally, the case is usually dismissed, because the officer didn't show up to testify! (Then, you wonder why officers get frustrated and burned-out! Sad to say, even if they do show up, little, if any punishment is usually dished out!)

* * * * *

You can also probably guess, when I originally wrote up my memoirs, they consisted of roughly five hundred, 8x11-inch, single-spaced pages. It was then suggested that I break it up, and make it into two books, which I have so done. (In the process, additional ideas for other installments popped into my head.)

Meanwhile, in the first book, I tried to show how my life has paralleled that of Job. In this second one, you'll see me continue doing more of the same. At the same time, I will be taking on and questioning many of the injustices that are around us, that are leading us down the path of self-destruction. (All the while, my intent is to help people recalibrate their compass in life, so they might, once more experience smooth sailing.)

Remember, these ideas are strictly my own. The same is true of my interpretations of people's actions. I also know not everyone will agree with me. Still, I feel something needs to be done to shake things up, besides the direction this country has taken in the last sixty plus years – particularly the last thirty, is not very promising! (Actually, it appears we're quickly descending down into the deep abyss!)

To make matters even more disheartening, many countries around the world, seem to be following our lead, which simply means, with our losing our direction and purpose in life, you can also probably guess what is happening elsewhere! (In other words, it's like the blind leading the blind!)

I thought I would also take you through the journey that I've traveled to get these books published. Like I said, I basically had the first book assembled in the spring of 2004. The only thing is, unless you know someone who knows someone, or already has their foot in the door to get noticed—better yet, to get published; publishing books may be very hard to come by!

I should also point out, while I'm persistent, I also get easily frustrated and discouraged with rejection slips – several of which I have received over the years. (I then decided to work on self-publishing. And, in the process, I worked the next couple years to get them all cleaned up, just in case a publisher might come along.)

Then, somewhere around 2010, it was suggested that I break it up into two books. Once again, I tried my hand at writing to various publishers. (Still, not good enough!)

In 2011, I tried one last time. That's because, I felt I had a message that needed to be shared to help prevent mankind from destroying civilization, and all the world around him. At the same time, it seemed that at any moment, the morality in this country would hit rock bottom, as more and more families were becoming fragmented. To go along with that, it seemed the entertainment and musical industries were desperately looking for more indecent material to shove down our throats, while churches are either becoming big businesses, or else having to consolidate just to stay afloat!

I also believe things happen for a reason. That's because, long before 2000, there was unrest in the inner city, as police felt they had to use deadly force to control demonstrations. Soon, thereafter, terrorist groups around the world like the Taliban and ISIS began annihilating anyone, or anything that stood in their way! Let's also not forget, Russia, China, Iran, and North Korea were/are continually flexing their muscles in an effort to gain even more power! (All the while, it seemed everybody just stood nearby with hands in their pockets, not wanting to get involved—not wanting to prevent these hostile takeovers!)

Finally, in 2016, the U.S. presidential primaries reached a new low, as graft and corruption raised its ugly head once again in both major political parties—potentially, dividing this country even more so, than ever before! It was then, I thought I would try publishing these books once again. Only, this time, I thought I would seek input from some other sources. First, I inquired, not only through my pastor at church, but also placed an ad in a Masonic publication. (Still, nothing!)

It was about at this juncture in June of 2016, that I was down at Coggon visiting some friends at Buffalo Bay Grain, just a few hours before my fiftieth high school class reunion was scheduled to take place. Fortuitously, a week later, a letter arrived in the mail from Pat Besler from Buffalo Bay who happened to have been watching an ad for a Christian publisher on the Ion channel, and wondered if they might be able to help me. (In other words, while I was desperately looking for a publisher in many high places, all I had to do was seek out a believer in the most unlikely of settings – the rest is history!)

That's because, within days of contacting Christian Faith Publishing out of Meadville, Pennsylvania, a copy of my manuscript was well on its way to them. Bing! Bang! Boom! Six months later – somewhere around New Year's 2017, they were hoping it would come out in paperback form. (Yes, it's been a long road, but things were finally coming to fruition—or, at least, that was what I thought!)

Also, don't think for an instant from that point on, I've experienced smooth sailing! See, God's evil nemesis keeps trying to put up roadblocks to get in my way!

(I later learned that every time I sent in edited corrections, which took about a month for them to make, then another for me to respond to, they were actually passing the book on to a different editor—that way, they could get a different set of eyes on my work. The only thing is, after the third or fourth time of doing this, I noticed their editors were, basically, coming up with much of the same wording that I had first submitted! I then instructed them to just stick with one editor. See, unless I requested that, it could be sent in a hundred times, and get a hundred different interpretations!)

You might also like to know, now that I've committed myself to Christian Faith Publishing, I'm getting calls from some of those same publishers that I first contacted back in 2004 to see if I would possibly want to work with them. (Sorry, you had your chance!)

* * * * *

I also really wish people would quit saying that the United States is the greatest country in the world, plus that everything here is hunky-dory! Because, that's the furthest from the truth! (See, we have just as many problems as anyone else! However, rather than dealing with our own issues, we either keep trying to pass the buck, or keep sticking our nose into everyone else's business!)

At the same time, I wish they would quit saying that I should get on the bandwagon like everyone else, and just go along with the crowd! (Sorry, that's not for me!)

You also need to know, by setting a country or a person up on a pedestal, will only mean they'll eventually experience a great fall. (For, by saying that the United States' way of life, or our way of doing things is the best means that we've just put a target on our back to be toppled. See, whether we do that to ourselves, or other countries bring us down, it is bound to happen if we continue down the present pathway!)

I should also point out, with Billy Graham, this country's beacon of hope, departing this human, earthly existence only worsens things! (See, if no one is willing to step up to the plate to take up the cross that he has borne, there is going to only be more chaos!)

I'll also admit, while the United States has the potential to help turn things around in this world, we first need to clean up our own act! To do that, we need to work on revitalizing the family unit, reinstating some misplaced values, while returning to the lessons found in the Bible.

Just as importantly, we need to get away from the idea of living only for the moment, hoarding monetary wealth, plus needing to walk over others that might get in our way, to get ahead in life. To accomplish that, we need to work on raising others up, rather than constantly putting them down!

In addition, we need to change our way of thinking. See, locking people up, and incarcerating thousands of people for various nonviolent crimes isn't working! Worse yet, dishing out cruel, or inhuman punishment on prisoners – even using solitary confinement on foreign combatants, simply emboldens those who already resent us!

Besides, there's got to be something better out there to deal with these problems! See, I should know since I've been there! (Not literally, more figuratively!)

It's also going to require to return to our past—back to something like the '50s. Which means that we're going to have to go against the grain; against the norm, and go a completely different direction from that of – not only the media, but the entertainment industry as well.

To better understand this, once upon a time, the Federal Communication Commission, the F.C.C., actually put limits and restrictions on what could be shown and said over the American airwaves. It also used to be that shows and movies were evaluated on the amount of violence, sexual content, and inappropriate language, all the way from a G-rating, up to XXX.

A rating of G, after all, simply indicated that it was appropriate for all ages, general audience, particularly, very young children. In other words, they were basically void of all violence, all sexual images, and all foul language that might be offensive to young peoples' ears! And, all was well! (So, whatever happened to it?!)

Well, they've either abolished the rating system, or they keep testing the waters – pushing the envelope on what is acceptable. Because, suddenly X-rated programming is now looked at as being R-rated! Likewise, an R-rating is now considered PG-13!

Opponents of the rating system, not surprisingly, quickly pointed out their work was merely a type of artistic expression, which is protected by the First Amendment from censorship! (Still, I really doubt that's what our forefathers had in mind when they drafted the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, back in the late 1700s!)

As a matter of fact, I believe many of the supposed rights that so many Americans treasure are being interpreted simply to meet their ‘wants'. (I'll address this issue in one of the latter chapters.)

I also know I can't change peoples' minds: see, that has to be each individual's choice. I can, however, point out things that concern me, as well as others, so hopefully we are able to turn our ship around, before we're dashed upon the rocky shore!

Overview

If you noticed, in the first book, I pointed out how life is like a rollercoaster with many ups and downs, with many peaks and valleys, combined with numerous twists and turns thrown in for good measure. Meanwhile, to successfully traverse the undulating hills and the vast expanse, yet still be in one piece by the ride's end takes the courage of a risktaker and a great deal of perseverance.

At this time, I would like to compare life to a little child who has a dollar to either drop in the collection plate at church, or spend on some candy at a nearby store. Yes, a very limited amount of money to possibly spend on something that he really ‘wants' – not ‘needs', or give it to another to help pay it forward.

You can also probably guess, as he walks past each delectable, he realizes he needs even more money to satisfy his wants, and asks his parents to loan him some. You also need to know, while he knows that the candy is not a healthy "choice," it's also his Achilles heel! (The only thing is, no matter how much money he receives, it will never satisfy his appetite to acquire even more, and more of what he perceives as the good stuff!)

To make a long story short, in the following pages, I plan to show how society acts the same way! See, they're more interested in satisfying their own ‘wants', than their ‘needs'! Worse yet, they will either use, or walk over others to attain that! (Then, people wonder why it seems we're quickly sinking into a bottomless pit!)

Chapter 1

Singleness

I not only felt relieved to see Sue's suffering finally come to an end, but I also found myself having to stand on my own two feet, since I no longer had my enabler by my side. All told, it took me a couple years of grieving, reassessing, and introspection before I could finally take the bull by the horns, and face up to what life had in store.

Having said that, when I eventually chose to venture out into the singles' world in the fall of '99, I cringed at the very thought of dating again – especially, after all these years! Besides, would I be appealing to anyone out there?! Would I know what to do or say?! Plus, was I ready to accept rejection if I asked somebody out, and was turned down?! More importantly, would I think intelligently, or would my emotional side take over?!

Believe me, these were just a few of the questions and concerns that I faced, and I was scared! Well, it's been a real learning experience! And, in the process, a great deal of knowledge has been gained!

I also know my children would prefer that I not date. However, I can't let them dictate my life! You also need to know, while I have once more entered the world of singleness, the wants and needs that I acquired during my marriage did not simply disappear and go away! So, while I intend to keep them abreast of where my life is headed, I want to be the one who controls my destiny—not anyone else! (Besides, they have their lives, and I have mine!)

I would also like to think that I'm a pretty good judge of character, since it usually takes being around a person a time or two, to really get to know where they are coming from. Having said that, if there is someone that I might continue seeing after that point in time, that young lady probably possesses much of what I'm looking for in another. (Let's also not forget, since God first brought Sue into my life, that's a choice I have to leave completely up to Him!)

* * * * *

Like I said, Dubuque is a town with a population of about fifty-seven thousand. It also has several colleges of higher learning, numerous churches, an unbelievable number of bars, plus lots of singles! I then quickly came to the realization that staying home and feeling sorry for myself while everyone else was out enjoying life, was not normal. Still, I definitely wasn't interested in the bar scene! I, therefore, decided to call Hospice of Dubuque to see what was available, since they had greatly assisted our family's efforts during Sue's last two months. (Besides, I thought they might possibly be able to provide me with some much-needed, counseling!)

Several days passed before hospice got back to me with a group called the M&Ms, which once stood for Mr. and Ms. I think you can also probably guess, I was extremely nervous and apprehensive for my first encounter with the group, yet I also wanted to make a good impression! (The only thing is, I also came too overdressed! Therefore, before the meeting got underway, I quickly removed my coat and tie.)

See, other than its leaders, here was a group of disgruntled, downtrodden individuals—individuals who were desperately seeking any kind of recognition, hope, and assistance from others, yet discouraged from being overlooked by not only the community, but its churches, as well! (In other words, they felt lost and abandoned!)

Here too was a loosely organized group of individuals that few in the community knew much about. I then quickly came to the realization that this was just the tip of the iceberg! (I can also tell you, my heart really went out to them! I then vowed that I would try to rectify that situation, if at all possible!)

I should also point out, other than their monthly meetings, the M&Ms would regularly attend a singles' dance at Sunset Lanes in Dickeyville, Wisconsin, ten miles to the north of Dubuque, where if you're ever looking for a dance partner, there are plenty of them! (It's also a place where numerous lives have permanently been altered!)

At other times, they would have monthly nights out on the town for dinner, or would occasionally sponsor something like a bike or hayride during the warmer part of the year. (You can also probably guess, for the next several months, I took part in many of these activities.)

At the same time, I concentrated on studying the makeup of the group; listening to numerous heartrending stories; trying to reassure the gals that not all husbands were as bad as what I was hearing! (Regrettably, there was a lot of infighting among the leaders, and eventually the group disbanded!)

It also seems that both the community of Dubuque and its religious institutions have gone overboard to satisfy and meet the needs of couples and young families, yet little appears to have been done to address the needs of an ever-increasing population—that of its singles! See, here's a segment of the population that is steadily growing in size every year with the increase in divorces, premature deaths, and the fact that many young people are delaying marriage for a later point in life.

So, knowing that society, basically, caters to couples, means that those of us who do not fit that description feel somewhat different and stand apart from the rest! (Let's also not forget, for those of us who have lost a loved one, and do not have someone close in which to confide, depression, and loneliness often sets in! I then decided that it was high time that those of us who are part of that ever-growing segment of the population needed to pull together and unite as one!)

With that in mind, I first tried to organize a Christian singles' group. Because, after doing some writing in the spring of 2000 about my observations, I realized that there were many singles in the area whose needs weren't necessarily being met, since the M&Ms were more of an opportunity to vent frustrations. I, therefore, tried to get another complimentary singles' group started to help address individuals' spiritual needs.

To do that, I first chose to reach out to those singles from Westminster who didn't feel satisfied and fulfilled. (Coincidentally, I'd met with several of them in June of 2000 following worship.)

The only thing is, while many claimed they wanted to get organized, nobody was willing to step up to the plate! (Well, I thought I would try working on this, then bring others in from around the area!)

Eventually, I received a directory from the church office that had close to 120 names of singles from twenty-one to ninety years of age: some widowed like myself; some divorced; some never married. I then tried calling many of them, since I wanted any group we might form to be inclusive, not exclusive. (Yup, that's right! See, I didn't care if they were rich or poor, young or old—if they were single, I wanted them!)

The only problem is, now that there was finally someone who was willing to step out to the forefront, I found that no one really wanted to get onboard, since many claimed that they'd been there, done that. Others simply implied that it couldn't be done! (Well, when someone suggests that, then I try even harder!)

You can also probably guess, since the singles from Westminster didn't want to get involved, I decided to open it up to the rest of the religious community, and began phoning many of the church offices. Surprisingly, I soon discovered that over 30 percent of Dubuque churches' adult membership are single! Equally as disheartening, just like those at Westminster, many were feeling like second-class citizens, since they actually believed they received more attention when they were married!

I then quickly came to the realization that trying to organize something that basically didn't exist before would be extremely difficult to pull off! The only thing is, it becomes even more of an arduous task when there's little, if any, support coming from not only the churches and the community, but also the very people I was trying to help—the singles!

You also need to know, when I called around to the different church offices, I'd either talk with pastors, other times with priests. Still, I found only one clergy, Pastor George Bauman from Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, who was open and receptive to my initiative! That's because, he'd previously ministered to many singles in the Minneapolis area. Therefore, he knew what we were up against. (Sad to say, many of the other clergy specified that they would only support my effort, if there were a religious component; otherwise, they wouldn't!)

Now, if you haven't already guessed, this qualification really bothered me! That's because, while I originally approached this venture from a religious perspective, a question then came to mind like: just exactly what kind, or whose religious criteria did they expect me to follow? See, if it were a particular denomination's beliefs, those are all humanly contrived! Then again, if they meant for it to be Christlike and open and receptive to all, that's what I intended this group to be!

I also realized that many singles actually chose to leave the church because they felt lost and abandoned. Therefore, if I suddenly came along peddling religion, I might lose them all! (Besides, I feel it's much more important practicing what one is preaching, than merely preaching! So, while I chose to take the comments of the various church leaders under advisement, I wasn't about to let them dictate what I was hoping to achieve!)

Coincidentally, about this same time, I'd heard about another singles' group in its initial planning stages affiliated with Holy Trinity Lutheran Church. I, therefore, went over to meet with them.

Oh, I'll admit, while they had many good intentions, their focus was more on forming a professional singles' group from a list of singles previously belonging to an organization called R.E.S.I.D.E. (Retain Educated Singles In Dubuque Effort), which had largely been setup in connection with John Deere Tractor Works to help keep their single engineers, and office personnel occupied!

I think I can also tell you, I was very much interested in the focus of this group—well, at least initially! That's because, their goal was to work toward three primary objectives: spirituality, service, and sociability. The only thing is, they seemed intent upon establishing man-made criteria in order for people to join!

That's because, the single had to not only be educated, but also a professional! (So, while they never really qualified what those terms meant, I took it to mean that each single had to have a minimum of a college education, as well as, being something other than a blue-collar worker. It also seemed that they were specifically targeting the thirty to sixty-five-year-old age-group.)

Well, I don't think I have to tell you, both of these restrictions really blew my mind away! Especially, since the core group, the individuals who were trying to assemble and organize this singles' group in the first place, just so happened to be very active members in their respective churches! (Yes, very active, so-called Christians who were suddenly turning their backs on the very people that Christ came to earth to minister to!)

Oh, I'll admit, I was somewhat intrigued at their initial proposal. (Not that I agreed with it, mind you, but we had to start somewhere!) So, while I went along with it – at least initially, I also realized that many friends that I'd acquired up at Dickeyville, and in the surrounding area might be left out, since this group was intent upon implementing humanly contrived constraints!

Like I said, both of these requirements really bothered me, since I look at nearly everyone as being educated, as well as, a professional! See, the real difference comes in how one chooses to define each term!

Educated: when one really thinks about it, is a very subjective word! I mean, who should we consider as being educated? Does that mean a person with countless PhDs, even though they might be wearing blinders, and can only see what is directly in front of their face? Or could it be someone who reads a great deal and is able to discuss deep topics. yet tends to be very shallow and close-minded?

Then again, could it be someone who is able to take their God-given talents, then put them to use in service to others? (Personally, I think the latter individual probably best fits the bill!)

I also think most people realize that practical experience is the best teacher, and that being able to apply a lesson, is far more important than just knowing statistical data! For that reason alone, I'd be much more prone to listen to an experienced individual who has graduated from the school of hard knocks, than to someone just emerging from a university's doctoral program!

Besides, I'm much more interested in concrete results, than in understanding the process, and in documenting all the steps needed to get there! It's also one thing to limit one's knowledge to that which is found in a textbook, while it's another to be able to apply that same knowledge out in the real world! (You also need to know, to me, an educated person is one who is able to take a mistake, and then makes the needed changes and adjustments so the same mistake won't be repeated again!)

It should be noted, being that I'm affiliated with the education profession, I often find myself surrounded by many individuals who hold many advanced degrees, and are supposedly very intelligent and open-minded. Yet, it appears some of them only have a very limited view of the world! That's because, I remember getting in a discussion with one well-educated, so-called Christian who said I shouldn't go around claiming that I don't swear or drink when, in fact, I do!

See, since I regularly choose to swear allegiance to God and to the United States, I definitely swear! Plus, since I regularly drink water, milk, and other beverages, I can't say that I don't drink! My response to him was, Point well taken! However, each and every word has many different meanings and connotations. (Technically, I guess I should have said, definition #4 of swear from Random House Webster's College Dictionary [1991], To use profane oaths or language. Likewise, for drink, I guess I should have said definition #2: To imbibe in alcoholic drinks, especially, habitually, or excessively; tipple, if I really wanted to be politically correct!)

Yet, this individual, who ‘supposedly' claimed to be very well-educated and has publicly professed being very open-minded, largely due to his doing a great deal of graduate work, flatly refused to accept my response! Therefore, can he continue to lay claim of being educated?!

Let's also not forget, the word professional has many meanings: definition #1, for example, is following an occupation as a means of livelihood. (In other words, someone who is paid for doing a job!) Unfortunately, many often choose to disregard the fact that the payment can take numerous forms!

Actually, anyone who possesses a skill and then is able to put it to use to benefit others should also be counted in that list—trash collectors, ditch diggers, shelf stockers, basically, anyone who puts in a good day's worth of work! (Remember, each individual is important in the eyes of God and possesses a talent that needs to be shared. So, while their monetary reward might be far less, their job satisfaction may be much more!)

To be honest with you, those who end up volunteering may have the most fulfilling job, since their payment, or reward is in experiencing appreciation of their efforts shown in the eyes of those they serve! In other words, these individuals have chosen to do something because they want to do it, rather than having to! For that reason, they may be the most professional, and possibly the wealthiest people on this planet! (Let's also not forget, they may also be the most educated!)

Sad to say, one of the biggest mistakes we humans make is in trying to judge others! Because, in doing so, we are continually trying to elevate ourselves while, at the same time, belittling or putting down those around us! (Gee, weren't we supposed to leave all the judging up to God?!)

I should also point out that the colonists were weak until they came together and became strong. The same would also be true for all singles. Therefore, after mulling this over in my head, I decided that while I could support this group's effort to resurrect RESIDE, I could not condone how they wanted to limit membership!

The point that I was trying