Ladies, It's Just a Piece of the Puzzle

By Yolanda Lance, BA, M.Ed, Ed.S. with JahaEUR(tm)Nay and JaeaEUR(tm)Dyn McDowell

Life has a way of taking us on many different twists and turns. Some of those are wanted while others are undesirable and unexpected. Positioning yourself to ask God “Why?” is quite reasonable when you can’t seem to understand why God would allow a route in your life that you had no plans for. However, if you take the time to really analyze your life, you can see how, like a puzzle, every situation and circumstance, be it good or not so good, seem to somehow fit together.

Romans 8:28 reminds us of the following: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called. according to his purpose.” If you have God as the beginner and finisher of your faith, as mentioned in Hebrews 12:2, “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God,” you have an understanding that God is the ultimate potter.

Sometimes we fall into the category of feeling like we can write our life plan and expect God to follow suit. During those times, Jeremiah 29:11 should serve as a reassurance that God is not only in control but has a specific plan for us: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” InLadies, It’s Just a Piece of the Puzzle, I take you on my journey of life, lessons, laughter, tears, hope, and wisdom that I have gained. My life’s puzzle pieces are miraculously fitting together toward molding and shaping me to be the woman I am today—as yours are shaping you as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 16, 2024
• ISBN: 9798891309531

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Ladies, It's Just a Piece of the Puzzle

Yolanda Lance, BA, M.Ed, Ed.S. with JahaEUR(tm)Nay and JaeaEUR(tm)Dyn McDowell

ISBN 979-8-89130-952-4 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-89130-953-1 (digital)

Copyright © 2024 by Yolanda Lance, BA, M.Ed, Ed.S. with Jah’Nay and Jae’Dyn McDowell

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

All scriptures used are referenced from the King James Version of the Bible.

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

It's All Just a Piece of the Puzzle!

Don't Be a Copycat!

The Big Bad V-Word

Feeling Fragmented

Always Strive to Grow

Have You Ever Been Stopped Midstream?

Vamoose, Be Gone!

I Never Knew I Could Be Broken

Love Is a Choice

No More Ashes

Society Might Say, Don't Be a Karen, but I Say, Don't Be a Sarah

Deadweight

Do Not Handcuff Yourself and Throw Away the Key

Don't Be Afraid to Be Free!

GPS—Global Positioning System or God's Plan Stands

I Waited Twenty-Three Years

It's Okay to Say No!

Lost, Confused, and I Can't Find My Way

Sometimes the Bleeding Is All in Our Mind

Wasn't Quite the Girlie Girl

Chili Cheese Corn Chips

Out of the Mouths of Babes

About the Author

It's All Just a Piece of the Puzzle!

Wow, who knew that a simple puzzle could teach life lessons that would end up producing success in life. As a child, I thought puzzles were exciting, especially when they were finally put together and I could see the big picture. I bought my two young nieces puzzles recently. Seeing the excitement on their faces when they placed a puzzle piece where it belonged melted my heart. I also bought myself a puzzle that I have yet to finish putting together. I am, however, thankful for my sister-in-love who put much of my puzzle together; I'll get to it eventually.

My history with puzzles allowed me to understand that each piece has an exact place where it fits. Also, that no matter how you try to make a piece fit where it does not belong, it just will not complete the puzzle. If you should happen to make it fit, it caused the correct piece to hang in the balance and wait for the misplaced piece to be removed so it can go in its proper place.

When I was in college as a young lady who was, what she thought, ready to take on life, I was a planner at heart and made myself think of every scenario that would make me happy and have a good life. In my zest to sprout my wings and finally be able to fly, I planned my whole life, and I even had the audacity to put it on paper. It was a fantasy that I believed my life was going to go exactly how I planned—married only once to a handsome tall dark chocolate man, have seven sons (girls were just too complicated), foster seventy-seven children, live in a sort of mansion with a real picket fence, and a host of other unrealistic dreams that only came true in prescripted movies. It was perfect! Unfortunately, none of the dreams that I planned worked out exactly how I planned. I only have one son (whom I love dearly, my firstborn), two daughters (totally unexpected, but I can't imagine life without), a three-bedroom home (perfect for me, with more land than I expected to have but love), married twice (oh, gosh—that story will require four or more chapters). I heard a phrase from an individual in life, When man plans, God wipes the plan and rewrites it, and boy, could I relate to that statement.

Now back to my puzzle theory. As I am of matured age and experiences, I can look back on my life and really reflect and put things into perspective. This has allowed me to look at many of my experiences—the good, bad, and the ugly—and realize that they all fit into my life's puzzle exactly where they were supposed to go. If I had not studied psychology, which led to me becoming a social worker, I would have never learned to speak up, advocate not only for others but for myself as well. Having my son taught me how to love an individual more than I loved myself. If I had not moved back to Florida from California, I wouldn't have my two lovely little ladies. If I had not met my college roommate, I wouldn't know what true friendship really looks like—that there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24), also that the friendship connection that Jonathan and David had in the Bible can be a reality in my life.

Now some of my experiences I absolutely believe that my life could have been better without—for example, experiencing abuse in many forms (mental, physical, and sexual), experiencing lack, betrayal, judgment, and extreme hurt. On the flip side, hurting people do indeed hurt people; and even though I hate to admit it, I've betrayed, judged, hurt, ridiculed others (not proud of it—yep, I did it, but I learned from it as well to be better). I can truly look at my life and see how it all came and is coming together—even to the point now that I am writing this book.

At this point in life, I can really lean on the scripture in Jeremiah 29, where there is mention of God having a plan for our lives and what that plan entails. In all my planning, I failed to seek God's guidance. I failed to ask God to order my steps (Psalm 37:23–24 and Proverbs 16:9), and I thought I could do it all by myself.

Becoming a social worker further perpetuated the idea that I got this. There I was, this young lady in her twenties planning out people's lives, making executive decisions for them—some younger, some my age, some older, some even old enough to be my parents. I wrote case plans, educational plans, transition plans, and I was pretty resourceful and good at it ironically. However, with all my education, training, and resourcefulness, I was not God. God created us, knows why we were created, and has a plan for us. We only do ourselves a disservice when we don't seek his guidance.

One of the many great things about our Father is that he is omnipresent