Forget Norms

By Neville Diony

Every day, week, month or even year, you set goals but never achieve them why?

You're having trouble with being yourself, living up to your true potential. You read self-help materials and watch motivational videos, only to realize that you still come up short at being your true self. Is it because you didn't work hard enough? No, it is because you're bound by standards that contradict each other but rule your reasoning.

You fail at relationships. Love scares you. Marriage seems daunting. Parenting that is supposed to come natural, is very taxing. You're right today, yet with the same thinking, you're wrong tomorrow. Your work, your family; everything FEELS SCRIPTED. And that's because it is.

Forget Norms is a book that puts you back in the driver's seat of your life. It empowers you to be bold and to take control of those important decisions that you make. It helps you cancels society's noise and traditional norm, and lets you hear your true voice. It liberates you to be you and to live to your honest potential.

With this book, you will be empowered to challenge every knowledge that you were taught. You will question answers to your current reasoning, and project your real self. It's a book that will liberate your thinking and give you a fresh perspective of your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Neville Diony
• Release date: Nov 13, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393570110

Book preview

FORGET NORMS

A Provocative Reasoning

NEVILLE DIONY

COPYRIGHT PAGE

Copyright © Neville Diony, 2019

The moral rights of the author have been asserted.

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Copyright Laws of the United States of America, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, communicated or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the copyright owner.

All inquiries should be made to: [e-mail].

ISBN Print: 9781699966341

Imprint: Independently published

Printed in United States of America

Disclaimer

This publication contains material that is of the nature of general comment only and does not represent professional advice. It is not intended to provide specific guidance for any particular circumstance, and it should not be relied on as the basis for any decision to take action or not take action on any matter that it covers. Readers should obtain professional advice where appropriate, before making any such decision. To the maximum extent permitted by law, the author disclaim all responsibility and liability to any person, arising directly or indirectly from any person taking or not taking action based on the information in this publication.

DEDICATION

Dedicated to my wife, Esai Stella. Nothing I say here publicly will amount to what I owe you privately. You helped fine-tuned every aspect of me and empowered me to have the courage to be me. I thank you for your patience and humility.

To our children, Reana, Aniyah, and Arianna, you three have been my inspiration. I pray that something about me will inspire each of you to grow into that which you were purposed to become.

To my family – my mother, father, and especially my siblings (Constance, Laura, Burnet, and Luxland), I hope I make every single one of you proud.

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

LAWS, REGULATIONS, AND BELIEFS

HISTORY DOESN’T HELP

EXPERIENCE IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST TEACHER

ISOLATED THINKING

EVERY ANSWER IS UNIQUE

THE BIBLE IS FOR EVERYONE TO READ

BELIEFS SHOULD NOT BE GENERAL

MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES

EMBRACE YOUR CONSEQUENCES

LET PEOPLE BE THEMSELVES

BE THANKFUL

EVEN THIS BOOK

INTRODUCTION

The entire story stemmed from a test. One was an Expert of The Law, and the other was the Teacher, the messenger of the Good News, separate from the law, teaching people how to live within themselves and amongst each other. The Expert's curiosity on the surface was on how to acquire eternal life. But in practicality, I believe he wanted to test the Teacher's knowledge of the law, as it seemed to be contradictory to what he knows. And so with his curiosity, Jesus answered by giving him and the world, the story of the Good Samaritan. (The Book of Luke 10:29-37)

It involves five principal characters: a man beaten, the thieves who beat the man – and we're left to assume they stole from him, a Priest, a Levite, and the Good Samaritan. However, only three of them are distinguished.

Following the narrative, he’s asked a very leading question. Which one of these men do you think is the neighbor to the man?

With an answer so obvious, the Expert and all of us are instructed to Go and do likewise. And just like that, man is thrown into a confused state. And as good as this story is, as much as it is told to depict a good neighbor, it is one of those stories that leaves humanity scrambling.

Kitty Genovese, in Queens, New York, was stabbed to death outside her apartment in the early hours of March 13, 1964. At just 28-year-old, her killer, Winston Moseley, 29-year-old, testified that he killed Kitty because he just wanted to kill a woman. A NY Times article reported that 38 people witnessed the murder, with none of them reacting to stop Winston. Nonetheless, the article provoked into law the Bystander Effect, in order terms The Good Samaritan Law.

Similarly, China passed the same law. 2-year-old child Wang Yue – Little Yue Yue, was run over by two cars in 2011, and laid on the street bleeding for over seven minutes. More than 18 people walk passed her without attending or offering help. Chinese officials of Guangzhou province worked tirelessly for three days straight to draft and implemented what is known as The Good Samaritan law. The law penalizes people who fail to help in situations as such.

Both incidents in the U.S. and China encouraged citizens to do good to other citizens in times of need or faces a penalty for not doing so. These laws are referred to as Duty to Help laws, though not cut-and-dry in terms of what makes it your duty. Reports have been made of people being sued while trying to apply these laws. Some of the help offered is deemed unwanted.

Go figure!

Let's touch back on The Good Samaritan story. Our programming and sensitivity enables us to isolate only sides of the story that we believe teaches us about good or bad. Typically leaning on the good side. From birth, stories like these have been consistently used to guide us to anything but self-realization. And though within the story, we can use reason to see how flawed it sits, we are at the mercy of its instructions. It perfectly sets us up to choose between good and bad, with good being something we have to pity – the man who was beaten, but also something we have to put on a pedestal – the Good Samaritan.

The holistic tale of the parable gets lost in translation. It takes into account only a portion of a more consequential picture. Such as was the case with China and the U.S., implementing Good Samaritan laws that you and I are ordered to follow. However, the benefits of the law never take into consideration the risk of its implementation. And quite frankly, it shouldn't, because it is purposed to help someone in need. But whose purpose is it?

Were the 18 people wrong for walking by Little Yue Yue? Almost everyone will be inclined to say, Yes. Not because yes is right, but simply because emotionally, it seems like the only thing that makes sense.  Not offering help is just being wicked!

But you have to ask yourself, who is the neighbor to a Good Samaritan should his deeds become unwelcomed, and ultimately lands him in hot water. These are the tough choices that society presents us with, that has left a lot of us, confused, and not sure of who we are as individuals.

We debate our actions and mistake our consequences while trying to fit into an imperfect circumstance, filled with flawed rules and regulations that man continues to sought out. But do we have to? Most of our societal Norms have stemmed from stories such as The Good Samaritan. And while these stories isolate particular circumstance, they’ve had a tremendous impact on our society and self-realization, as most us are cornered to adhere to instructions that makes us look good in the eyes of our communities.

Let me clarify that I am not bashing Jesus, nor am I condemning the Bible. I am only using a story – a descriptive narrative to illustrate our woes.

Now there is almost no new material in this book. Just think of it and its philosophies, comparable to a beautiful woman every guy desires and makes advances to. All of them approach her with practically the same message; I want to be with you or say, I love you and would love to make you my wife. 

Regardless of their method and how they phrase their sentences, they’re all saying the same underlying message. However, based on the woman's upbringing, her fears, her trust level for men, her desires, or her love language, she'll pick one guy out of the group of guys, and believe his words.   

It is under such parallel reasoning that I mustered up the courage to write this book. I’ve always felt like I am blessed with inspiring people to live up to a higher potential. What held me back was the fact that I knew almost every inspired writing was just a twist of an old one. However, understanding that delivery matters in communication, made me vow to allow you to share in the