The Road to Selfdom

By Stephen Boehringer

Paul calls us to walk in a way worthy of the calling. Many of us could use a wake up call with regard to how we live our lives. Writing this book was mine.

• Language: English
• Publisher: CrossLink Publishing
• Release date: May 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781633570337

Stephen Boehringer

Stephen Boehringer, has appeared at Spirit West Coast, on the KLOVE Cruise and has performed at Christian events nationwide. Stephen serves on the leadership team of GodWorks Christian Fellowship in Elk Grove, CA and as the drummer on the worship team. For more information on Stephen, go to http://stephenb.net

Book preview

FOREWORD

This is not the book I planned to write. When this project began some three years ago, I fully intended on writing a book about comedy and the differences between performing stand-up comedy in secular and Christian venues. It was about a year into the endeavor, and after completing some sixty-five pages, when the direction of this book started to change.

What began as an amusing undertaking to bolster my income and expand my exposure quickly became the most intense exercise in personal reflection I have ever experienced. My original goals were fading as I no longer focused on increasing my income or filling my calendar. I was engrossed in a process of growth and understanding that challenged not only my beliefs, but also the way I was living my  life. I became aware of the difference between worldly success and Godly success. My approach to earning changed from reliance upon my skills and abilities to living in obedience and trusting the Lord to provide. I no longer needed to make this book a success because it was already becoming a success in my personal walk with Christ. I just needed  to stay focused on the path God was leading me on and avoid the time- killing distractions that tended to lead me astray.

Since I am a comedian, you may be expecting this to be a funny book. Though there are some parts of the book that contain some humor, I can assure you that the message is far from comical. This is not a book written for unbelievers. If you are a Christian—that is to say, a person who is dedicated to living their lives in alignment with the teachings of Jesus Christ—this book is bound to challenge you as much as writing it has challenged me.

The entire focus of the content of this book is based on the lessons God has been teaching me about how I am living my life and how my thoughts, words, and actions conflict with His commands and teachings. One look at our culture and the direction of society and it is plain to see that the challenges I face are not mine alone.

MY SINCERE THANKS

God puts people in our lives for many reasons. Some to encourage and some to discourage, some to give and some to take, some to enjoy and some to endure. All of the people in my life are a blessing and have contributed significantly in my journey. I would like to acknowledge those who have aided in the process of completing this project.

My wife Jane, who continues to endure this process with me in love, support, and encouragement and who remains an inspiration for me every day.

My sons Derek, Kyle, and Ryan, thank you for loving me and putting up with me in the years prior to my acceptance of Christ’s call. Like your mom, you’ve been a driving force in my desire to become a better human, and you deserved so much more than what I was able to give.

Pastor Michael Bowers has been, and continues to be, a gift from God as he has accepted the unpalatable task of mentoring me in my Christian walk these past ten years. Someone had to get stuck with the job, and Mike—being the man of God that he is—took it on with patience, faithfulness, and love. I am very grateful to him and to God that he has. Thank you, Mike.

I also want to thank the members of GodWorks Christian Fellowship who have shown their love and support for my family and for my ministry through prayer, friendship, and gifts over the years. You have been such a blessing to us and have helped us to endure through some very difficult times. Thank you so much!

To the many colleagues within the Christian comedy community who have encouraged me, admonished me, challenged me, prayed for me, and who remain strong role models for up-and-coming comedians in Christ, I say thank you. Special thanks go to Jon Robberson, Pastor Gordon Douglas, Chris Rossetti and his lovely wife Darla—who helped me edit this book, Cecile Kaiser, Michelle Vandusen, Bob Smiley, Michael Jr., Daren Streblow, Dennis Gaxiola,  and  J.  Red. Whether you know it or not, you have all added to the lessons that God has been teaching me over the years as He has used you to strengthen me. Thank you.

And to the comedians in the secular comedy world who encouraged me to embrace and pursue my true calling, I say thank you. Special thanks to my dear friend, Chicago Steve Barkley, who has continually been a moral support, a brother in arms, and the source of some of the most debilitating laughter that I have ever known.

INTRODUCTION

The Road to Selfdom. I can almost hear Bob Hope and Bing Crosby singing a jaunty tune as they prance down the street setting off on their new adventure. The Road to Selfdom  in Technicolor ... featuring hit songs such as It’s All About Me, I Can Never Get Enough, and Don’t Get in My Way ... I’m off on the road to selfdom ...

It does sound like it could be a long lost title from the Hope and Crosby era, but the Road to Selfdom isn’t a musical comedy. It’s an all-too-real reality show starring every single living person who is alive today and every person who has ever lived on the planet, except of course Jesus. Jesus remains the only one who has never walked that broad path to destruction.

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Matthew 7:13–14

enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

I didn’t consciously choose to walk the broad path to destruction; I was born on it. We all were. It wasn’t until the day when I learned that there was more than one path to walk that I had the opportunity to decide which one I would take. I spent years bouncing back and forth between paths but never understanding the true difference between the two until I was in my forties, which is a lot of bouncing. Even then, I was reluctant to travel on the narrow path, because at that point in my life, I still didn’t fully understand why it made any sense. It seemed counterintuitive to take a more rugged and challenging path when a wider one appeared so much easier to walk. I had no idea that they led to completely different destinations.

The truth of the matter was that though the road I was on was wide enough for all of humanity to travel, it was still a pretty dangerous commute. I hit my fair share of potholes and had been involved in more than a few accidents of my own doing, and I frequently suffered from intense bouts of road rage. The upside was that there was plenty of room for me on the broad road. There were also lots of rest stops along the way that offered pleasures and diversions, which helped take my mind off the troubles of my travels. Though these distractions offered some negative side effects of their own, it seemed they were worth the cost. Short-term relief was better than no relief at all. And in reality, it didn’t matter because I believed I would get all the rest and relief that I needed when my journey was complete. Trials and hardships were all part of the process, and my ultimate reward would come when I reached my final destination. After this misery-filled life, I get to go to Heaven, where I will be happy and pain-free for all eternity. I don’t understand it, but I believe it. And because I believe it, it means that it is true. There’s no place like home; there’s no place like home.

Then came the day when I learned that the path we choose determines the location of our final destination. It was then that I saw clearly the road upon which I traveled for the very first time and where it was leading me. OK, wait a minute. So if I stay on this road ... I choose a destination that wasn’t designed for humans to enter? I don’t want to go there! You would think that at this point, with the stakes clearly identified, we would all take the next exit and set our GPS devices for the narrow path. Sure, it may be harder to walk, but at least it gets us to where we want to go. For some reason, however, most of us pass that exit. We have time, right? Stairway to Heaven tells us that "there’s still time to change the road you’re on." I must have plenty of time! Robert Plant wouldn’t lie to me.

I think that oftentimes we fail to move out of a sense of familiarity and comfort. Even if where we are isn’t so comforting, at least we’ve been there and know how it works. Taking a new path is scary because it’s the great unknown. Why take a route that we’ve never been on before? What if I get lost? What if it is too hard? What if I fail? What if the rest stops aren’t any good?

The road to selfdom is the road that far too many of us walk without even realizing it. Maybe it’s because we are spending so much of our time at the rest stops that it never really comes up in conversation. We sit around with other Christians and talk about how tough our travels have been and how, by only the Grace of God, we can sit here and rest our weary bones. We are grateful that the rest stops provide Bible studies, and some even have church services so we can recharge our batteries before getting back on the road. We run into most of our friends on this route, too, and it’s always great to catch up with them. Our friends are good people who love God, so there is no question that this is where we need to be. It feels right so it must be right ... and so it continues. We travel from rest stop to rest stop and curse the drive in between. We hope the road will get smoother, but we don’t let it bother us too much because we all know where we are headed. In the meantime, there’s another rest stop up ahead where we can while away the hours of our spare time.

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SPARE TIME

Spare time is the time we consider to be free from duties or responsibilities. The only real problem with this definition is that if you are a Bible-believing Christian, there is no such thing as a time free from duties or responsibilities. Even when we are resting from our work, we have a duty and a responsibility to use our time wisely since we are full-time believers. Jesus has not set aside any time for us to live outside of His will.

The time that we do have is a gift, and like all gifts that we receive from God, it is to be used for His glory and not our own satisfaction. What makes this gift so precious is that we have no idea how much of it we are going to get. I’m reminded of this fact each time I pass a cemetery with a clock built into its sign. They seem to say, You’re time is almost up. You’re going to die. See you soon! I’m trying to have a nice day here, and you’re confronting me with my mortality? That’s not nice. Nobody wants that.

After a while, though, my perspective changed as I began seeing these clocks as a friendly reminder of the important message that I believe they are meant to convey. Time is for the living. We are alive now, right this second, with no guarantee for tomorrow. This moment that we call now is the only guaranteed time that we are ever going to have, so use it wisely. Now that’s a great message.

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Ephesians 5:15–17

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

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The message of spare time, on the other hand, has to be a ruse devised by the competition. It seems like just another one of his lies designed to lull us into a false sense of security leading to the ultimate waste of time, inaction. Get on the narrow path? What’s the hurry? There’s plenty of time! I’m enjoying my spare time here at the rest stop. I’ll get on the road later.

In those moments of wasted time, we never ask ourselves the most important question of all. What if there is no later? What if, with all of our diversions and plans for the future, we overlook the reality that it may all be over in just a few short minutes? It happens every day in car crashes and random acts of cruelty and violence. For some, it’s previously undiscovered medical issues that present people with their surprise demise. Then there are the less frequent unforeseen tragedies like acts of nature, which take people suddenly in the form of earthquakes, flash floods, or lightning strikes. Do you think anyone of those people who perish in one of these events woke up that fateful day with a thought that it may be their last? Some people live their entire lives never considering the urgency of now, and they die with no time to spare.

I wish there were spare time. There are definitely moments in life where I would prefer a do-over. Let’s face it. If you waste ninety minutes watching the movie Hot Tub Time Machine, then spend another ninety minutes apologizing to your wife for dragging her to go see Hot Tub Time Machine ... on your wedding anniversary, you’re out three hours right there. You are never going to see that time again. Well, unless she brings it up in a "You think your husband’s an idiot? Well, listen to this!" round robin with her girlfriends. Then you may never hear the end of it. This is why the whole concept of spare time is so attractive to us. If we had spare time, we could reach back and grab some for a do-over. I say reach back, because at my age, most of my time is behind me.

Actually, I have no idea where we would keep it. I don’t even know where it would come from. Would you accrue spare time like you accrue personal days at work? Maybe you could inherit it from relatives who died unexpectedly before they had a chance to redeem theirs. It would certainly make the reading of the will more interesting. You can keep the house and the Rolex; I’m taking the spare time!

Maybe there’d be spare time vending machines. Time would come in handy little sealed pouches of assorted lengths, from hours  to years. Pull out a three-hour pack, crack the seal, and bam! You’re back in the movie theater parking lot. "You know what, honey? I changed my mind. Let’s go see Mom’s’ Night Out instead." That would be awesome! I’d never look like an idiot ever again!

Spare time would be especially handy for those trick relationship questions that women throw at men when they’re not paying attention. Did you like my body better when you first met me, or do you like it better now? Men hear questions like that, and their minds go into emergency lockdown. Mayday! Mayday! We’re under attack! Dive! Dive! A man would rather cut off his own thumb as a diversion tactic rather than stumble through that emotional minefield. See, spare time would fix all of that.

Sure, spare time might be difficult to manage. If there were an unlimited amount of spare time, some people would be abusing it on a minute-by-minute basis. Washington, DC, would still be in the early 1700s with all the do-overs they would need, though that might be a good thing.

But alas, the fantasy of spare time is just that—a fantasy, a whim, a foolish waste of time. For once, we dedicate time to an activity or thought that time is gone, used up, with nary a nanosecond to spare. They say time is money, but in my opinion that is a gross undervaluation. Time is a priceless gift with which we are granted, and it lasts only a short period for us to live and to do as we were created by God. If you agree, then the following information should be as interesting to you as it is to me.

The Bureau of Labor and Statistics compiled a Time Use Survey in which it was revealed that for the year 2013, nearly everyone fifteen years of age and older spent time on leisure activities every day. The average male spent nearly six hours each day on leisure activities, and the average female a little over five hours. This adds up