Moonbeam Bender: Blog memoir 2

By Elena Ioana Melanson

I am an artist and author, I have 3 pennames: Elizabeth saturn, nygvik nomza, and Eleanor A. Foxstars. I am also hoping to be a tattoo artist. I love talking about my life, and hobbies, also I enjoy coffee. I am tattoo and piercing fiend, mental health warrior! Book 2.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookRix
• Release date: Dec 6, 2023
• ISBN: 9783755463016

Book preview

November 11, 2023

A.M.

Last night I slept the way through the whole night. I wasn't expecting that as I had a mocha, But because I had a mocha, I ended up with a PTSD, nightmare, caffeine or induced! all I know is it was airport security style security at a swimming pool which was not exactly my finest dreamed to have or should I say night terror as I slept right through it. That being said, I was not exactly thrilled to wake up from that and note, that was just a dream. No, but I wanted to dream something like this. It was kind of disturbing. Think that this kind of thing might happen sometimes but it was just a PTSD nightmare. It was just sad because it had to involve airport security! I ended up having Some breakfast it was a chocolate chip muffin. It was very quiet for a while until...... That being said, I'm having a good day. Except for the fact that I had that PTSD nightmare and the fact that it's not snowing out so I can't make any money! That being said, I was not very happy about seeing the sunshine. I am happy to see the sunshine, but this case not so much because I was going to make some money off of shoveling. Someone lied to me and said I was going to snow today, which is not an OK thing to me is lie to me or anyone else for that matter fact, I found that just a pain in the ass! Maybe their phone lied to them or something but I highly doubt it they were just trying to get my goat I think!

It might be a nice sunny day, but it is not a frugal day for me because I'd like to be able to go about making money. As well as I enjoy doing chores from time to time to get some of my frustrations from the night before off of my Mind or my skin I should say! That being said, I won't be getting very much off my squirrel And as far as I'm concerned, today is remembrance day, which is not too bad, but it's kind of sad to go through to see how many people have suffered for our freedom and the better of the human race. Suffering they either gave up their lives, health or mental health for us to have our freedoms. That being said, there is one dictator, I wish I can get rid of........... The full moon the full moon is something I despise this is probably what caused me to lose out on bingo the other day, and was not very happy to begin with that week. I was not very interested. It won't be coming till the 27th I believe, but still as a dictator to me the full moon can make you feel like sh*t! But other than that, I am very interested in seeing if there's gonna be the news on about the different ceremonies for remembrance Day. The last time the TV was on for remembrance Day I was looking at the face of Romeo Delaire, one of my heroes! He was a peacekeeper in Rwanda, who ended up with PTSD, and had to overcome that. Still think he's still overcoming that. That being said, I believe that his book shake hands with the devil, had helped me in many ways that a psychiatrist appointment would never done any jack sh*t! Let's just say that I remember reading the book and watching the movie that I was able to relate to him more than the happy reign man who ended up being nothing but happy! At least with Romeo, I was able to note that I was actually with the same issues with my emotions and my trauma. That's when I decided for my own diagnosis of PTSD. This way, I would not suggest doing would be kicking your parents car that one was just bad behaviour on my part, but I did get what I want but I wouldn't suggest doing it! What I would suggest, is reading the book about Romeo Delaire, to see what kind of troubles are going on in the world, and that the world is not exactly a cakewalk!

You might if I'm in the doom and gloom but I'm not but it's just that I wanna make some money off of some snow particularly shovelling the snow. That being said, I'm not exactly tickled that it was a bright sunny day but I'm actually happy that it is now. We don't get to see these very much in this time of year when it's snowing and stuff so But anyway, it was very aggravating to see the sun. I was like there's no snow and I wanted to snow so I could shovel the snow and have some extra money in my pocket or plastic pocket as I call it for my tattoo find or whatever else in my ear find or see in my life. I was lucky enough that I did not have to see  Very much yesterday that I couldn't trade off. That was pretty good yesterday that I was able to trade instead of spend the money that was supposed to be for tattoos and piercings. That being said, I'd rather be doing the trading in the bargaining system than the actual  Taking the money and giving it to them. Though that is important in this society, I think money is a pandemic from China that is older than the virus or the COVID-19 virus! For the First coin was invented in China I believe and that's what started this whole sh*t show! And now people either have to pay or steel to get something they want I'd rather pay, but still I call it the fun factor that is not so fun. It is a very bad pandemic This money is. I think you can do a lot more with trading your stuff for other stuff or other services instead of going around with the pain in the ass In your wallet Burning a hole in your pocket. I don't think that money should be very exactly useful. I don't even think that this bitcoin and cashless society is very important to me either! What I think is that we should be able to trade our ancestors used to trade for this for that and we done with that and then find something else to trade and get what we want The root of evil is low money, and the low for money as well. I should know because when I ended up going to bingo one day, I ended up having a complete sh*t fit. Which I am not too happy about it. I was a complete asshole that day!

Don't ask me why, but I like these kind of trees in the winter time these baked winter trees that are practically dead to the world for six months of the year. There is something about them you can create with your imagination and stuff. That being said, I enjoy them when they have a little bit of leaves on them, but this is a lot better when they don't have waves as a sunny day! I know I was cursing about the sunny day, but when you actually look at the bear trees in the sunlight, it's a lot easier than to see them when it is dreary out. I'd rather be able to see this that I have taken a picture of and be able to enjoy the site and what I can come up with as well as there was a cloud. That I saw. The cloud To me is assigned that a higher power loves you even though you may not believe in God or whatever is feel something that is something that smiling at you just as long as it's not overcast I'm fine, but I just wish it was a sprinkling of snow that I could go and shovel the snow. But I guess he can't always get your way at some points. So I'm done with a sunny day I might end up going for a drive later! But I don't know! By that I mean, going out later to see the sun. It's wonderful to see the sun out at this time of year because it's very rare to see the sun at this point this is where I end up with SAD orseasonal affective disorder, where is just one of the many commodities I suffer from with my PTSD. Seasonal factor disorder. I think is a lot worse. Because it triggers my PTSD. In a way. That is not even right. There's being said seasonal effective disorder sucks! Even affect you when you're having a cloudy day it's not snowing it has to be raining really hard or a day and you just in a sh*t mood for the rest of the day. Can I affect you for days and sometimes mine if it's the winter. That's why I despise the winter to begin with! But just like Thomas Harvey's the dark rustling I think that was the name of the bird. I think I will be trying to make a better view of winter point of view I should say and try to sing even though it is a pain in the arm with winter, you can't go to the thrift store you can't do that without being driven and stuff like that!

Oh, the joys of being in a winter country why you have to deal with the snow and the muck and everything else. It's not as bad as it is at Christmas time or this time of winter but it is when it February or March 20 just wanted to be over with and he don't want to deal with winter anymore. But when at Christmas time everything is so exciting and cheery. Sometimes it can be that way and February or March and those first snowfall but can be still a pain in the arse afterwards! I'd recommend trying to get out in winter to do stuff I usually do photography if I can help myself. That being said, I remember one of my brothers going around making me  take a walk all around Ottawa during the Christmas time and it was freezing and I did not enjoy that so I don't really go out in the winter to go for a walk either using the snow will take up the Mailbox before I can go because of my idiot brother (s)! That being said, I don't enjoy, taking a walk and winter time or early spring cause boys it cold and that triggered a lot of things for me not just emotions but other things like cursing and swearing and other behaviours!

So I better be thankful for today that it is just plain sunny and there is no snow that's pissing me off. That being said, I wish I could have some snow so I can shovel it and be done with it that being said, I wish it was that simple that snap my fingers and make it snow when it's not even snow weather. But I just wish to make some extra money. To shove my tattoo fund! That being said, I am also interested in going back to dating my boyfriend not that we broke up, but just to see him again without the constraints of basketball or the Special Olympics! Let's just say the other team don't like it, and it pisses me off!

Late A.M.

I was watching the Remembrance Day ceremony this morning I was watching this in silence in memory the people who sacrifice their lives and their mental health for this country, as well as the freedom of the world. This is what I think is in Horton is that you remember them! I am very thankful for these men and women, as I have been in award zone myself as a little kid. Not fighting, but fighting for my life at least. That was not exactly my friend. Sorry of life and it was kind of To think about what these people would do for us, and what would happen if they weren't here if they weren't here, we would have something similar to our Romania on our hands where people would be oppressed and be torture than other horrible things. That being said, I don't believe that we should be going after each other throats i.e. war, because of Differences that should be more celebrated instead of. I am tired of being separated, nations! Or hearing the horrors of war! this was the first time I say this is that we need to remember those who suffered and fought for freedom! As I was going to say is, it is important give thanks just to me is my Thanksgiving without the ugly turkey or the ugly dinner. At least I'm able to go and eat a peanut butter jelly sandwich after this, but I do believe that this is the true Thanksgiving! To be thankful that we're alive and to be free because of these people who gave up their lives mental health for us! This is actually thanks giving! Not the day with the tacky dinner!

I know this is a solemn day, but it's also a joyous day. If you are thankful for the freedoms that you take for granted leg when I was going to be watching this, I looked at my new tattoo and was thankful that I was able to get that because of the men and women who Fought for the freedom of expression ! That is just one example of a freedom that we take for granted. That is one freedom I don't take for granted is free, speech, and freedom of expression, for I am a Garth and a punk as well as a human rights fan! That's what I think is that there are a lot of human rights that have been taken advantage of or not really thought of second but it's time that we should think about our human rights, It's important to think Then, you should be more thankful about the bed that you've had since you've been born if you've been born in this wonderful country, and not as grateful as the people who come into the country, like me, who are having problems with human rights since the days we were born! I'll tell you a bit of my story I think I may mention this about me part! When I learned that I was adopted, it was the most traumatic thing for me! And I was trying to comprehend this. That I was born in a war zone, and it was mistreated before I was adopted. That country had no freedoms Did they have any Proper airport, security, or proper military to stand up Against against the Bozzo that were coming into the country of Romania and ruining it for me as well as other people. I was born in Bucharest Romania, the hotspot of the hotspot! That being said, I was adopted two years old. And I never really thought twice about my freedoms. I just was thankful to have them.That I am enjoying what I have, but I am thankful for the source of what I'm enjoying what I have in the first place of people who fought and sacrifice their lives or sacrifice mental health for their country!It's very important to think about thatWe should take the past and learn it as a lesson learn and try not to do the same things over again. I believe that we're more evolved than we were years ago yet there are still despots and dictators around.

This is a toast to the men and women who had to fight for what they thought was important in life, which was freedom! Although I don't agree with some of the things that people believe in in this country like oh, I don't know the hippie stuff I believe that this is important that they have the right to talk to! That being said, I am very excited that I'm in a country where I am able to be safe and free and not have to worry about despots or dictators Or anything that is on savoury in the world that still goes on. I find that there are too many tyrants and too many idiots around that we need to keep fighting to not preserve the freedom, but also preserve the human race as well! Too many tyrants and too many idiots and I think that we need to fight these idiots we cannot fix, but we can try at least for freedom as the betterment of the human race that all I can say is that if you try to hurt someone because of the DNA or because beliefs of the or gender or whatever I find that kind of thing is not really acceptable in my country of Canada! As I said, this is why I enjoy this country and I enjoy the people who have fought for it. As I appreciate what they have done for this country, I wouldn't think would be fully Evolve if it weren't for them! They show that there is good in the world and that there is some good in the plan as well. And then We should be able to accept our freedom and not second glance them. That being said, that's why I believe in a lot of things that are kind of new, but I also believe in a lot of things that are good and wholesome in the world!

To the people who served

Thank you so much for giving up your physical and mental health for the betterment of humanity, as well as a better man of Canada as well I believe that this is why I am here to write this blog or this thank you letter, at least, which is to say that I am thankful as someone who is a victim of war and depression I find this is very important for me to say this importantly, that you've done a lot of good in the world you show that there is still good in the world, and that they will always be good in the world! I also thank you for the freedoms that you fought for as well as the security that you serve in our airport as well as other places that are vulnerable to attack! That being said, I also suffer from the same condition you do, if yours Scars are invisible....... Post traumatic stress disorder from the same cause but from a different angle. I must tell you that it is very important that what you do you have to keep fighting for yourself as well as for this country! As well as for humanity humanity wouldn't be around if you weren't here

Many thank you for what you've done over the years peacekeeping fighting in the wars that were needed to be fought. I know there are long way to go with the wars to stop them but I hope that one day that they will be stopped I dream of them to be stopped one day. Hopefully the wars of today will be the end of Them forever, and the  Freedom, security and peace as well human rights will continue!

Thank you

Sincerely Elena

P.M.

Fever dream high in the quiet of the night

You know that I caught it

Bad, bad boy

Shiny toy with a price

You know that I bought it

Killing me slow, out the window

I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

And it's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa, oh

It's a cruel summer

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules in breakable heaven

But ooh, whoa oh

It's a cruel summer

With you

Hang your head low

In the glow of the vending machine

I'm not dying

You say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times

We're not trying

So cut the headlights, summer's a knife

I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

Oh, it's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa, oh

It's a cruel summer

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules in breakable heaven

But ooh, whoa, oh

It's a cruel summer

With you

I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)

Said, I'm fine, but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)

And I screamed for whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks up grinning like a devil

It's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa, oh

It's a cruel summer

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules, in breakable heaven

But ooh, whoa, oh

It's a cruel summer

With you

I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)

Said, I'm fine, but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck