Diary of an Accidental Vampire

By Margaret R Blake

Nigel D Tranter is a nice enough lad. He has two good friends, a mum he adores, a brother he loathes, and a father he could easily live without. He doesn't have a great grasp on life either, but all of that is about to change when he gets an invite to a Halloween party - one that is the talk of the town. So why is it he can't remember a thing when he had the time of his life?Is this an omen of worse things to come?
His friends can't tell you much but Nigel sure can!

This is fun read with unexpected twists and turns.

 

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Margaret R Blake
• Release date: Mar 7, 1923
• ISBN: 9781386108276

Margaret R Blake

Having done all the usual stuff – school, marriage, kids – Margaret moved to Tiaro, Queensland from Tasmania. She’s currently retired and spends a lot of her time writing, reading and talking to herself. She has published several books - children’s fantasy, YA and adult fiction, along with the castle chronicles for Victory Village at Riverbend. The Ring of Curses – her first book in her Merlin’s School for Ordinary Children fantasy series for 9 years and upwards - was nominated for the Ditmar awards, and in 2014 and 2015 Margaret was a featured author in The Premier’s Reading Challenge, Tasmania. She was a literary adjudicator with the 2016 Maryborough Eisteddfod in Queensland. She continues to write and has just published the third book in the Merlin's School series in ebook format, with print soon to come.

Book preview

ALSO BY MARGARET R BLAKE

MIDDLE GRADE AND BIG KIDS’ BOOKS

Merlin’s School for Ordinary Children #1 – The Ring of Curses

Merlin’s School for Ordinary Children #2 – Sword of Stone

Merlin’s School for Ordinary Children #3 – The Grail and Back Again

FICTION

The Healing

CHILDREN’S BOOKS

Natural Magic (illustrated)

LADY ROSE’S LOVE BITES (paranormal romance)

Love Bites

SHORT STORIES

Three Wishes Granted - Klarissa Dreams Redux anthology

The Games We Play

The Disappearing House

Diary of an Accidental Vampire

MARGARET R BLAKE

All Rights Reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, stored or introduced to a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form without the prior written permission of the author or publisher, nor can it be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that which is published.

COPYRIGHT – © Margaret R Blake asserts her right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright Amendment, (Moral Rights) 2000.

All characters are strictly of the author’s imagination and in no way resemble anyone living or dead. Artistic license is wholly to blame for any similarities.

COVER ART (c) Margaret R Blake

COVER DESIGN (c) Margaret R Blake

This edition, March 2023 Tiaro, Queensland

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DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE who believe in me; thank you.

Diary of an Accidental Vampire

AUGUST 28th Thursday ...

Man!!! The old cheese is downright embarrassing at times. It’s my 16th birthday in just over 5 months and she still chats me about cleaning my room in front of my mates, Marley and Simon. Being the pals that they are they said they’d help ... but jeez!!! ... I got private stuff lying around, like my diary. Nobody knows I keep a diary, and I don’t want nobody to know either. Well ... it’s not a diary really; it’s more like a collection of notes in a scrap-book - something I’ve been doing since I hit high school. But it’s personal!!! That’s the point!!!

It started when I bought a note book and covered it with cool black paper with some specky cosmic stuff printed on it. The book was supposed to be for the phone numbers I’d be collecting - from the hot chicks that would come onto me at the new high school - but I never got any, so instead of canning the idea altogether (the whole deal cost me a whopping $15 bucks of my hard-earned pocket money ... that’s high finance!!!) I decided to keep a diary instead. Not one of those mushy pour-your-heart out type of things but a record of all the awesome stuff I was going to be doing now that I was hanging out with the big boys.

Well ... that never happened either, did it!!! - not that I’m surprised - so here I am!!! But who am I telling here?

But that’s not the real the issue, is it? It’s mum!!!! Don’t she know I’m not a kid anymore? I’m almost a man. I’ve even got hairs under my pits ... and some fluff under my nose. I’m a bit sparse on the underside of the world but it’ll get there ... in time. It’s all part of the pubescence thing – growing up stuff – you know what I mean??? ... or so I’ve heard.

Anyway, the mood of the evening was shattered, and the boys pissed off home, didn’t they? I’m left sitting in my room like a school girl waiting for a call from her latest squeeze instead of chatting with the lads. Mum should be grateful I’m not watching porn and indulging in a bit of self-help, that’s all I can say!!

But on a brighter note ... the braces come off my teeth tomorrow. Not only do I get a day off from old Mrs Jansen and her dramatics, but this boy will have something to smile about ... for the first time in over 2 years Nigel D Tranter will look half-way like a stud, with his pearly whites all lined up in a row. Girls will flock from all corners of the globe just to bask in the sunshine of my toothy grin ...

Hah!!! Who am I trying to kid?

August 29th Friday ...

Not much to say except my mouth hurts like hell, I can’t eat, and I can’t talk, and I can’t swallow without dribbling ... I feel like my jaw has been unhinged. I had to hold my gob open for a whole bloomin’ hour while the dentist fossicked around inside with his arsenal of tools like he was looking for gold. There was a huge pile of plastic and bits of wire lying in a bowl when he’d finished and I’m sure I’m ten pounds lighter now. If not today, I will be tomorrow if I can’t get some food into this mean machine of mine. I’m starving!!!

On the bright side, Mum did make me a smoothie with banana and yoghurt (and some other stuff she said was supposed to be good for me) when we got home but it’s not the same as real food, is it?

August 30th Saturday ...

Jeez ... what do some girls want? I go through hell and its suburbs getting the wires and plates off my choppers yesterday. I’m smiling like a Hollywood star, and what do I get for my troubles? A smack in the chops, that’s what, for asking the neighbour, Kylie Jett, what she thinks. It hurt like all bejesus too - when she connected - as the face is still not right after yesterday’s stress!!! Doesn’t she realise it’s taken me four months to get within six feet of her??? And I just wanted to show her my new and improved grin, that’s all. I’m not exactly George Clooney here so I gotta go with what I’ve got. Crikey!!!!

Anyways ... it’s footie practise tonight ... not really in the mood now, though. What’s the point in swanning around in tight shorts, trying to look like the latest sizzling number on the ‘God’s Gift for Girls’ list if the chicks think you’re a right dork. Besides ... the slap mark left by Kylie’s right hook is still showing! So ... might as well stay home and watch the ‘Big Bang Theory’ re-runs I recorded.

September1st Monday ...

Another month rolls round and it’s Monday ... and man do I hate Mondays! Old Mrs Jansen - or Freckle-face as Simon and Marley call her, ‘cos she’s got enough brown spots on her dial to supply a coaster factory for years. Anyways ... she’s at her worst today so we get double homework in Maths. And it’s got to be finished by Wednesday.

She’ll be lucky, I’m thinking!! I have trouble with single homework! It’s like charging interest for paying something late. If you had the money in the first place you wouldn’t be late!!! Would you?? Makes sense to me.

For example ... the time I borrowed some cash off the bro, Dennis - I got my lunch money stolen that week and I couldn’t pay him back when he wanted me to. Then the bugger has the cheek to say I owed him 10% interest ‘cos I can’t pay on time. I argue, ‘Can’t get blood out of a stone’, and he says ‘no, ya can’t,’ and belts me on the nose. ‘Plenty of blood there, though,’ he says as he leaves my room, laughing ... the bastard. The worst part is ... I’m left feeling as sick as a dog for the rest of the night. I can’t stand the sight of blood - especially my own - and I’ve gotta spend the next hour lying down on my bed in case I faint. But what a shitty thing to do though! Especially to your very own loving brother!!! But I’ll get him back. Don’t you worry about that!!!! Nigel D Tranter doesn’t forget!!!

September 2nd Tuesday ...

Simon rang and asked me if I wanted to see the latest movie release at the flicks ... ‘The Lone Ranger’. I’ve been saving my dosh so that I could go and watch this on the big screen, but mum said I had to finish my Maths homework before I go anywhere, so that idea went right out the window, quick-smart, didn’t it???

Simon likes to attend the first showing of a film for some ungodly reason. It’s not like it’s a world-wide premier event, is it (we live in St Marys for crying out loud) but ... I suppose it’s whatever floats your boat. Anyway, he’ll tell me and Marley all about it at school tomorrow, that’s if Marley doesn’t go with him. It’s a sure thing that he has his homework done. He’s a bit slow on the uptake in some areas, but he can work magic with numbers.

That aside I have wondered on occasion if Freckle-face does