The Closeness That Separates Us

By Katie Hall and Bogen Jones

The Closeness That Separates Us when feelings go beyond words

We are already moving into a game, and I am not sure I like the gaming part. The risk is too high, fun, however it might be. I want real life, in all its aspects, and yes, also the risky ones. Games are just games. Its like fiction, where you can try out things, see if they work, throw possibilities up into the air and see whatever falls down, with a bump, with a crash, with a gentle landing, with a bounce, and what fl oats or flies around up there, in the sky, be it beautiful but out of reach, or controlled from the ground, by the artist. Thats fine, but unreal. My half-told stories, my mediocre poems, my indifferent blog scribblings can do that, but I want real life, and real-life risks when it seems worth running them.

So show it to me, your purgatory. Describe it. In a mail, or a picture, whatever you find fitting. Or not fitting at all. I want your words, if they are real, and I want to feel the person behind the words.

So I am just saying: Keep feeding me mails, keep tickling my mind. If you one day want to tickle my toes, I am sure that can be negotiated too, somehow, somewhere, somewhen. As long as its real and not just words and thoughts and what if speculations and dreams. Those, I have had plenty of, just like you mention. Short-lived, split-second things, roaring by before they became unblurry. This is different. You are different.

I like it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Feb 26, 2013
• ISBN: 9781466975361

Katie Hall

Katie Hall has written since she learned to write. From her little fantasy stories to honest and surprisingly insightful teenager essays in a chaos-ridden society, Hall is now at her highest level, deepest expression and most subtle language: Poetry of a woman at her 30s who lived a life beyond what many do in a lifetime. Bjørn Clasen

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The Closeness That Separates Us

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Katie Hall and Bogen Jones

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© Copyright 2013 Katie Hall and Bogen Jones.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the authors.

ISBN: 978-1-4669-7535-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-7537-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-7536-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013900253

Trafford rev. 02/19/2013

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Contents

Chapter I      Back From Amsterdam

Chapter II      Do You Want To Talk About It?

Chapter III      A Game

Chapter IV      Return Ticket To Reality

Chapter V      Slippery Stage

Chapter VI      It’s, Er, Complicated…

Chapter VII      Zagreb, Actually

Chapter VIII      The Meeting

Chapter IX      The Melting

Chapter X      Back From Zagreb

Chapter XI      Curtain Down

Chapter I

Back From Amsterdam

Dear Lena,

I hope you made it home well from Amsterdam. I heard there were some flight delays, even cancellations a few hours after my plane took off. But according to the Schiphol website, yours was not affected. So, I hope you were not home too late to find your loved ones who must have missed you.

I am sorry I didn’t say goodbye to you yesterday, as when I had to leave, you were nowhere to be seen.

It was a real pleasure to meet you at the conference and to exchange ideas, professional as well as more personal ones, over these past couple of days. As you trusted me with your business card — real nice one by the way, very aesthetic and courageously personal without being in any way soaking in self-indulgence as one so often sees on business cards — I have now taken the liberty to write to you. In fact, it is the first thing I’m doing after arriving home. My bags… I can undo them tomorrow. Now I just need to settle down before hitting the sheets.

But before doing so, I will treat myself to a glass of some fruit liqueur I bought on a holiday to the Pyrenees a while ago. Actually, I am normally not much of a liqueur guy, but this one has a bitterish taste and aftertaste, not too sweet, kind of delicate. I have to find out what the berry it is made on is called in English. Maybe you have them in Croatia as well.

So cheers to a well-accomplished conference, and I hope to hear from you when you find a little time to write.

Sincerely,

Ed

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Dear Ed,

I didn’t expect an email from you, at least not so soon.

The trip back home was smooth. My family was fine, and to my surprise, I found the apartment in excellent condition. It usually is a mess of books and newspapers… And I remember that I left my wardrobe as if a typhoon was wandering in my room…

To tell you the truth, I also felt sorry not having had a chance to say goodbye, especially after the lovely time we had. I didn’t know that you were leaving so soon. Had I known, I wouldn’t have indulged myself with a cigarette and chitchats out on the balcony.

I must admit it that I didn’t expect this conference to turn out so interesting or even exciting. That snooker game was the cherry on the cake of the event. If I knew I’d be ‘beaten’ so badly, I would have used my charms to at least try to tie the score. I guess the beer and the fun put me in a winning mode, although I lost. My compliments!

And my compliments for the interesting description of the taste of that liqueur. It made me want to drink something similar, but I only have wine in my ‘cellar’ (this is how I call my refrigerator due to the vast choices of liquids, from water to dairy products, from juices to wine — but sometimes, in times of ‘drought’ one could even die of thirst in there if I would forget to open the door).

You know, I was looking at the pictures we did. We surely made some friends. There is a picture of both of us together where there is a certain vibe that I am trying to translate, but I cannot. I will send you some photographs if you like. The atmosphere that they withhold is really joyful and warm. We all look happy and there is a pretentious bond between us, as if we were all really old acquaintances. I love this spirit as usually the conferences I have attended before, have been a real drag with show-off people and boring agendas.

And now, after the long shower, a fast dinner, the ‘ticking’ of tomorrow’s agenda and my reply to your mail, I am ready to also hit my sheets (or should I say ‘heat’), while watching one of my favourite movies, Love actually. Whenever I watch that movie, I catch myself with an ‘imprint’ of a big smile on my face that I cannot avoid.

Thank you for remembering me, as well as for reminding me of the nice time we had!

Sending you a happy thought for a cosy night from my part of the world,

Lena

p.s.: Now that I think of it, why would you check the Schiphol website for my flight?

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Dear Lena

Thank you for your quick reply! Haha — I liked your comments on the snooker game. Actually I am not a champion, I guess I was just a bit lucky. Not to try to artificially tone down anything, but I just played and had a good time, which is the main thing! Speaking of the beer, it was a really good one they had in the snooker place. I am not much of a drinker (it’s already the second time I say that, and this is only my second mail… which makes me look like the opposite actually, a closet alcoholic or something…) but whenever I’m abroad I do like to taste local beers unknown to me.

Do you know that one of the World’s leading beer experts is actually called Michael Jackson? No, not the Thriller guy, may his soul rest in peace… but speaking of which, what do you think of his music? I kind of grew up with it but always tolerated it, or rather him, more than loving it. The Bad album to me was rather unbearable, as he couldn’t leave the instruments (or machines, whatever he used) playing for two seconds without having to pollute it with a superfluous ‘Dah!’ sigh. So… sigh… it was… bad….

He did make some good stuff though. I think that for example Dirty Diana, which is maybe even off that album, has a special soul to it; I used not to like Billie Jean but now I find it nicely funky and dancy, which also goes for Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’. And then, there’s of course the song Thriller itself, which is somehow a classic. But other than that, I can really live without stuff like Black Or White, or Earth Song.

Oh my, I seem to have wandered… but it just seems to naturally flow with you, the conversation. Just like back in Amsterdam. And, speaking of wandering, you mention that ‘typhoon wandering’, which is an easy way to get back on track and reply to your mail instead of blabbering on. :)

I would love to see those photographs you mention! I hope there is nothing compromising, for either of us. On the other hand, I don’t see what it would be :) And even if, then well, I can live with it :) I guess I gotta :))

Having said this, I wonder what you mean by a ‘pretentious’ bond? If a bond between old friends (I know that we are not, at least not yet, I’m just talking in concepts) is pretentious, then it sounds to me like a fake bond and therefore a fake friendship, which is possibly worse than no friendship.

But yes, I was positively surprised by the conference as well. Not so much the conference itself, except maybe for that Canadian guy who spoke about networking in an all but orthodox way — but by the acquaintances I made there. And I’m glad that we got in contact with each other so quickly afterwards, otherwise these things tend to fade out before they have faded in. Which reminds me of another song but let’s leave that for now.

I am trying to figure out some way to combine your fondness of love actually with your p.s., probably in a sorry attempt to escape the question. All I can think of is that the film begins, and ends, with these airport scenes, so in a way it’s like a circle, something where the end is also the beginning. Once I travelled to Ushuaia, the southernmost city in the World, and they had a sign with a slogan reading ‘The End Of The World — The Beginning Of Everything’ (¿do you speak Spanish?). I liked that. Loved it actually. Still do. Love it actually….

Looking forward to reading you again, unless all my musings have scared you off.

Best

Ed

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Dear Ed,

I find it hard to refrain myself from reading. And damn, I have an office to run and people who are supposed to see the serious part of me. On the other hand, I cannot undo the opening of your mail, and I cannot stay at ease not reading what you have written. Oh my, I am playing with words…

It doesn’t take a champion to beat me in snooker. Imagine if I sat on the table and actually pretended I played. Perhaps I could have won. You talk about beers and drinks and I had the impression that you are one of those guys who drink for real. I even had an impression that you would smoke, but when I offered you one cigarette (from the package belonging to that guy from Austria — which frankly was a funny thing to do), you said that you never smoked. Impressions lie, my dear. In my country there are some nice kinds of beers. Perhaps you will have the opportunity to taste them someday.

Ed, you made me laugh at your description of Jackson — and it is quite difficult to make me laugh. More than his songs, I have liked his dedication to major issues concerning humanity and nature. Despite all those allegations against his personality and the truths and untruths that were told