My Search for Prince Charming’S Normal Brother

By Danielle E. Lenzi

This is a light, amusing book for a large age group (16-66) on real life dating stories. The author brings the reader in and makes them a part of her dating adventures. The stories take place in various states, such as Massachusetts and New York, and even abroad. The writing style is refreshing, accessible and witty. The author's main goals are to entertain and let the reader know they are not alone in the dating jungle. It will be hard to put this book down once you begin, which makes for a great beach read or gift for your BFF!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9781463404444

Danielle E. Lenzi

The author is an attorney by trade, but currently works as a Vice President for a Fortune 500 company. She has lived in the Midwest, the East Coast and abroad. She currently resides in New York. This is her first book.

Book preview

My Search for

Prince Charming’s

Normal Brother

Danielle E. Lenzi

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2011 by Danielle E. Lenzi. All rights reserved.

This book is presented solely for entertainment purposes. These stories are based on true events; however, the characters and their names may have been changed and fictionalized. Most people appearing in this work are fictitious and any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 06/02/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4634-0446-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-0445-1 (dj)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-0444-4 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011908586

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1

Cranberry Wrong

Chapter 2

The Locksmith—The Key

Doesn’t Work

Chapter 3

Shrunken Expectations

Chapter 4

Teal Pants

Chapter 5

Igloo?

Chapter 6

No, Bedankt

Chapter 7

Shoe Heir: Too Hot, Don’t Touch

Chapter 8

The (Un) J.Crew

Chapter 9

Finance King

Chapter 10

The Other Side

Chapter 11

The Dollar Store

Chapter 12

Baby Face

Chapter 13

Don’t Worry, Eye Won’t . . .

Chapter 14

Lap Date

Chapter 15

Three-Hour Tour?

Introduction

My Search for Prince Charming’s Normal Brother

-Real Life Dating Stories

So let’s see, why would one produce such a compilation of real life experiences? I guess there are many reasons. It all began one lovely spring day as I knew I had to dust off my winter self and begin the yearly rejuvenation. Part of this would be to begin dating again. There are few things I dread more. It’s not to say I have bad dates or that it all leaves me with a negative impression, but I have had my share of challenges. I called my mother to discuss the recent events of a first date that occurred a few nights prior. She laughed so hard at my description of the evening. She thought it would be a natural progression to write it down and see if I could write a book.

For me, the idea of creating a hedge of sorts was welcomed. If I went on a great date and began a wonderful relationship, perfect-end of story. If, however, I had an adventure of sorts, well, I could still turn it into a positive. I could write about it and maybe someone would get happiness out of my experience. I also found the process cathartic. After time passed, each of these stories, no matter how traumatic, during the actual events, became experiences I could laugh at.

Overall, I decided, it was better for me to laugh, than cry. It is the way I try to live my life.

It would serve another purpose of bringing my dating friends together in one unit to say, we are not alone. When a small group of friends learned of this book, they were delighted to share their experiences too. It usually made for interesting stories and strong bonding. In many cases, the truth was more colorful than fiction.

The final reason I wrote the book was because I have some single friends that have given up on finding the elusive one. I found this very disappointing because I think I have been blessed with the best friends in the world—far more than I could have ever asked for. I hated the idea that they were so disillusioned with dating and wanted to give up. Quit is the only four letter word you won’t find in my vocabulary. I know many women and men have a great deal to offer. If reading this book can make them laugh and help them maintain an open mind with respect to dating and finding the one, maybe they will get out there again. My only goal is to make you, the reader, smile. Good luck on your own dating adventures and remember to enjoy the voyage!

Acknowledgments

From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank all those who have encouraged and motivated me to bring this book to fruition. I would not have been able to accomplish this without the support of many people, not the least of which include Mitch, Gina, Anne and my mother. Thank you all very much. Last, but not least, a special thank you to all the men that have given me these memorable dates.

Chapter 1

Cranberry Wrong

Holy hell! How did I manage to get myself into this? (Enter harmonica music at 1:00 a.m.) While I trust that my co-tenant neighbors appreciate the harmonica serenade, I am getting creeped out. Thank God he doesn’t actually know which unit I am in! Time to call the Boston PD.

So it all began, on a dreary, damp morning in Boston. I was running late, with my briefcase and umbrella in tow. I was fairly certain I could have doubled as a wet terrier and that my face showed my displeasure as I waited for the train to approach. I actively looked past others at the T-stop. Not exactly an elevator level of civil inattention, but this is a new brand of ignoring others—I think it’s a Boston thing.

I had just missed the train and knew it would likely be another fifteen to twenty minutes until the next train arrived. I was deep in thought about the day ahead and the multitude of e-mails I would already have. Thanks for missing the train, I heard. Dah-dah-dah. Again, the male voice said, Thanks for missing the train. Oh, he’s talking to me—he must be from out of town! I looked over, and to my left stood a tall, dark, and handsome type with a wide smile.

I looked at him and responded, Yes, I just missed it. Thank goodness it was raining, because I would hate to start this day on the right note.

At this point, he was still smiling at me. Realizing I’d exhausted my store of witty pre-9:00 a.m. remarks, I didn’t say more. Then he responded, "Well, actually I am glad you missed the train. I have noticed you around, and I have always wanted to introduce myself. See, I live in the area, and you seem so nice—are you new around here?"

Yes, actually I live just down the street, I responded. By this point, the train had arrived and he boarded with me and we continued the meet and greet.

He said, Welcome to the neighborhood. I imagine someone as pretty as you probably already has a boyfriend.

I smiled and tried to think of something to respond with. I said, Well, not exactly. He then asked if we could grab coffee or a drink sometime. Sounded like a fine idea, since I wanted to meet new people in the area. At this point, I decided that if he wasn’t for me, I could introduce him to a couple of other single women I had met in the neighborhood—it would be good for the community. A kind of recycling. Brookline likes recycling, so why shouldn’t I?

We exchanged numbers and chatted more. I was feeling flattered that someone had taken the time and effort to approach. He seemed nice, and besides, how bad could he be?

A few days later, knowing that I worked downtown, he called to see if I wanted to meet him for a coffee. He was a freelance writer, a musician, and a self-professed dream catcher trying to work out a plan for his life. He was rushing into this decision, since he was only in his early thirties. From our discussion, I could tell he was pondering many different career options. One option that came up related to his experience as a preschool teacher. This apparently had fallen through and involved some kind of issue for him. After I noticed he seemed to be getting teary, I decided to move the discussion away from this topic. He mentioned a couple of other career options, even including the possibility of being an orchestra conductor. He had an ear for music, a talent with instruments, and what the hell—his friends said it didn’t look that hard.

Who was I to judge? Sometimes I wondered what I would be when I grew up. Seemed like a reasonable dilemma on some level. So he chatted on at Starbucks, and the conversation was interesting and casual. The only thing that gave me pause was he was very flattering and kept mentioning how he was so glad we had met. As we were leaving, he asked me if I wanted to go with him to pick up his car. He chattered on about random topics. Then he stopped and said, You look amazing, by the way. I love that sweater; what is it—burgundy?

I responded, I think its cranberry. Just a J. Crew item, nothing special.

Not only was he flattering, but for any topic we discussed, he seemed to have the perfect anecdote. For instance, I mentioned an interest in beginning tennis. He was a good tennis player and would love to teach me. I mentioned I liked a couple of classes at the gym. He mentioned he was a kickboxing instructor, and he would love a new student. That class was also just around the block from us. This seemed a little too accommodating, but it was friendly.

We traveled to pick up his car, and on the way home, he asked if we could go out again, maybe for dinner or something more the next time. So far, so good. We left it that one of us would contact the other, and we would get together sometime. To me, sometime means sometime soon, but not necessarily in the same week. He seemed equally casual and lax about it, so it seemed fine. For the next couple of weeks, we would tentatively discuss meeting out for a drink or coffee again, but something seemed to come up either with work or home. Again, he seemed equally relaxed about this.

One night at home, I gave him a quick call. The weather had improved, so I’d decided I would see what he was up to.

Hello. Oh, hi. How are you? I started.

Oh, I am just out with the guys, he said.

Oh, well, I’ll let you go; I don’t want to bother you now. I noted.

No bother; we are checking out a new restaurant, called Stix. It’s pretty cool—everything comes on a stick. I will be writing a review for it. he said.

I said, Well, I don’t want to interrupt you; let’s chat later.

Okay, later sounds good. Will you be around tonight? I will be out with the guys for a while. He mentioned.

Sure, I should be around, I said.

We hung up then, and ten minutes later he called and said, Well, I am leaving now. Do you want to watch a movie?

Okay, that sounds fine, I