I Like Me : Free Yourself From False Measures Of Success

By Hadi hans

 self-help book

Feeling imprisoned by unattainable standards, judgments and comparisons distorting your self-image? Exhausted chasing externally defined metrics of achievement, belongings, social media influence or bucket list adventures hoping to finally feel "enough"?

Yet the more life highlight reels you anxiously scroll, the deeper FOMO inadequacy takes hold...

Our culture's models of success exacerbate depression through illusion that happiness resides perpetually over the horizon of more clout, wealth and experiences if we just worker harder.

But emerging science and psychology research now confirms that relentlessly pursuing perfectionism fuels anxiety and emotional repression rather than uncovering deeper fulfillment.

The way out? Learning radical self-acceptance exactly as you are in this moment as the path to tapping inner wisdom and belonging. Beyond surface accomplishments or appearances.

This book guides readers to override sabotaging 'never good enough' stories and drop the exhausting act by:

Part 1: Examining Costs of Perfectionism

We explore the darker realities behind chasing unrealistic standards including:

Linking self worth to productivity and accomplishments

Harshly criticizing oneself for any imperfections

Overfunctioning and people pleasing trying to earn conditional approval

How early emotional neglect and conditional bonding breeds self-judgment

Perfectionism fueling anxiety, addiction, disordered eating and depression

Fear of failure preventing fulfilling creative risks and connections

Part 2: The Power of Self-Acceptance

Next we highlight research on how self-compassion boosts mental health and why we all deserve to care gently for ourselves by:

Looking at self-acceptance as the bedrock for fulfillment

Building skills to nurture our inner experience beyond judgment

Releasing shame, control or numbing patterns around unavoidable 'flaws'

Giving ourselves permission to rest and play rather than perpetually 'prove' worth

Quieting toxic inner voices shaped during childhood that diminish our light

Part 3: Unlearning Perfectionism Through Embodiment & Play

Finally, we share practices for embracing imperfection and getting creative with self-care like:

Identifying underactive aspects of self craving expression

Redefining self-care as accepting rather than fixing/critiquing

Making peace with mistakes through playful experimentation

Immersing in activities purely for enjoyment versus productivity

Noticing sensory beauty in overlooked everyday moments

The book shares psychological insights, journaling prompts, embodiment exercises and practical lifestyle tips to...

Help readers release the heaviness of perfectionism programming
Find authentic community beyond chasing external validation Reframe growth towards self-acceptance and self-trust
Activate creative purpose by courageously sharing one's distinctive soul gifts

The goal? Steps for escaping perfectionism's imaginary hamster wheel gauging human value by impossible standards...and landing securely inward to access innate wisdom and worthiness already here. Waiting patiently for us to relax into belonging exactly as we are!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hadi hans
• Release date: Jan 28, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224097104

Hadi hans

Hadi Hans is an aspiring young author who draws upon his rich life experiences in his writing ,Imarried with two lovely daughters named Lucine and Lorianne. Hadi continues traveling extensively to fuel his literary passions, and draws daily inspiration from his diverse surroundings. His rich global upbringing informs his empathy-driven stories. desire to bridge divides between people via storytelling. His experiences grant authentic perspectives to his fiction. The dream has always been to write books for children and adults as well.

Book preview

Part I: Examining the Costs of Perfectionism

Chapter 1: Why We Constantly Fear Missing Out

Chapter 2: The Burden of Having Too Much

Chapter 3: Addressing the Fears Around Missing Out

Part II: The Power of Self-Acceptance

Chapter 4: The Simple Path to Finding Joy

Chapter 5: Mastering the Art of Missing Out

Chapter 6: The Art of Enough

Chapter 7: The Wellness Reset

Chapter 8: Embodied Enoughness

Part III: Unlearning Perfectionism Through Play & Presence

Chapter 9: The Costs of Perfectionism

Chapter 10: The Power of Self-Compassion

Chapter 11: Practicing Imperfection as Self-Care

Chapter 12: Finding Freedom Through Fun

Chapter 13: Cultivating Your Authentic Community

Chapter 14: The Art of Enough

Chapter 15: Living Beyond Likes

Chapter 16: The Journey of Growth

Chapter 1 – Why We Constantly Fear Missing Out

We live in an era dominated by a relentless Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO). Social media serves up nonstop glimpses into the lives of others, making us feel like we’re missing out on exciting experiences, relationships, and opportunities. The dopamine rush of new notifications keeps us glued to our devices, anxiously scrolling for the next hit.

Research shows that heavy social media usage fuels higher levels of anxiety, depression and loneliness. The more we consume curated snippets of other people going places we’re not and doing things we wish we could do, the more discontent we feel in our own less flashy, filtered-down lives. 

This FOMO epidemic Is the result of some key psychological biases wired into the human brain. Scientists note that for much of human evolution, survival depended on social connection. Being part of a tribe increased access to food, shelter and safety. Our brains thus evolved a social comparison tendency to make sure our status and belonging needs were being met. 

Additionally, because resources were historically scarce, humans also developed a negativity bias. Our ancestors that stayed hyper-focused on what could harm or threaten them tended to survive longer to pass down those risk-averse genes. As a result, modern humans end up naturally drawn to consuming and dwelling on negative news and information.

While these brain biases once served us, FOMO-inducing social media now exacerbates them In an imbalanced way. One study found that the gloomier people felt after browsing Facebook, the more likely they were to keep browsing – rather than disconnecting from the source of their sadness.

The dopamine hits of new texts, likes and commenting threads keep us stuck in reactive FOMO-loops...

...The dopamine hits of new texts, likes and commenting threads keep us stuck in reactive FOMO-loops rather than intentional living aligned with our deepest needs and values. 

Our ancestors evolved to survive through constant risk-assessment and social comparison. But with those needs now more than met in the modern world, being trapped in patterns like:

- Compulsively checking devices

- Overworking to maintain a certain lifestyle

- Feelings of inadequacy from comparing ourselves to others’ curated highlight reels 

These now only serve to stress us out and distract us from the people and activities that likely do give our lives richness and meaning day to day.

Researchers note that while we think phenomena like social media connectivity, expanded opportunities to travel, and access to endless entertainment options will make us happy by allowing us to see and acquire more – the science doesn’t back that.

As early as the 1960’s, studies on life satisfaction showed that baseline happiness levels around the globe changed very little over decades despite rising incomes and standards of living. Once basic needs are met, more possessions and experiences fail to move the needle for life fulfillment.

Yet the myth persists that if we just consume more, see more envy-inducing posts of beautiful destinations, and cram our schedules with even more FOMO-fueled diversion and comparison, happiness hovers somewhere just over the horizon. 

Chasing this illusion leaves little time left for friends, family, pursuing passion projects, or being fully present wherever we are. Days disappear in a dizzy blur of distraction and fatigue from trying to keep up with everything we feel we’re missing.

Could learning to embrace missing out – with healthy boundaries and conscious intent applied to information/technology use – unveil a more easeful path that offers what we’re really seeking?

The latest neuroscience hints that intentional living counter to our compulsive FOMO habits could unveil our clearest route yet to sustainable joy.

Scientists have begun mapping out the fascinating neurocircuitry behind intentional choices that bring meaning, engagement, inner peace and vitality. Other promising studies show...

Other promising studies show that practices strengthening presence and attention in the moment powerfully counterbalance our brain's negativity and social comparison tendencies.

For example, research on meditation shows that consistently training focus and awareness on the present:

-  Reduces activity in the brain's default mode network – associated with mind-wandering and unhelpful rumination.

-  Increases activation of executive control centers – improving ability to regulate emotions and behaviors aligned with goals or values.

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-  Can help unlearn excessive reactivity to external reward-cues. Reducing compulsive habits around social media, device checking, or maintaining a certain lifestyle image.

Additionally, consciously focusing on experiences of everyday gratitude, awe and beauty boosts satisfaction far more than an overload of possessions and experiences ever can.

Actively appreciating small moments trains the brain to operate with:

- A positivity advantage instead of negativity bias

- An abundance outlook rather than scarcity mentality

- Increased dopamine and serotonin signaling correlating with subjective well-being

Basically, intentionally shifting attention in the present moment to notice what IS working counterbalances the angst over what we feel might be missing. The neural circuits activated by gratitude and mindfulness soothe our fears of exclusion and losses.

By learning to fully taste the joy of small delights already available to us with curiosity and presence...we realize the banquet of delightful