Enjoy Your Physique: The Ultimate Unique Unisex Guide for Eliminating Fat

By Evgeny Bagretsov

Alright, folks, let's talk about the basics of fat loss. It's like trying to teach a cat to juggle flaming torches - sounds crazy, but it's simpler than you think. You've probably heard it all before: create a calorie deficit, lift weights, take 10,000 steps a day, eat more protein than a bodybuilder, sleep like a hibernating bear, and rinse and repeat. It's like following the instructions on a shampoo bottle – lather, rinse, repeat, but for your body.

Now, here's the kicker – it's not that people don't know what to do. It's not like we're missing some secret ancient scrolls with the secrets to a sculpted physique. No, the real challenge lies in doing these things consistently over the long haul. It's like trying to keep your New Year's resolutions past February – a real test of character.

The truth is, to see those fabulous results from your sweat sessions and healthy eating endeavors, you've got to be a pro at turning those habits into your lifestyle. It's like trying to turn your pet goldfish into a service dog – it takes time and commitment.

So, in this book, I'm spilling the beans and giving you my no-nonsense advice for getting lean. I'm bridging the gap between knowing a bunch of fitness facts and actually putting them into action. I'll set your expectations straight because, let's face it, getting down to 10-15% body fat isn't a walk in the park. Especially if you're starting with a body fat percentage that's higher than a double-stuffed Oreo.

But don't fret; I'm not just dropping truth bombs. I'm also dishing out the most useful advice for staying on track and building those healthy habits. So if you're determined to finally rock that dream physique this year, this book is your holy grail. It's the motivational pep talk you didn't know you needed – consider it your fitness fairy godmother.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishdrive
• Release date: Jan 10, 2024

Book preview

Let's chop off whatever we don't need

Spotting a charlatan is like trying to catch a fart in a butterfly net.

Enter a YouTube search that starts with 'How to...' (come up with your own continuation: bake a cake blindfolded, convince your cat to do your taxes, make friends with a grumpy hedgehog, time travel without a DeLorean, and the list goes on).

On the internet, there are answers to all questions. Every bizarre thing that's ever happened to anyone is already documented, and on YouTube, there's a video with some random person explaining how to handle it.

In the context of our topic, we'll be searching for How to lose weight and/or build muscles.

In 99 percent of cases, we'll stumble upon the channel of yet another Plasticine Hippopotamus on Steroids, who, for the sake of views, keeps spouting one nonsensical theory after another. Viewers gobble it up like it's a buffet. To make a new video, vloggers need material.

Talking – it's not like you're flipping mattresses!

Oh, I've witnessed these steroid-stuffed beefcakes post-pharmacy shutdown. They promptly bid adieu to their chiseled look, morphing into lard-bellied acne enthusiasts.

Knowledge gains more weight from subtraction than addition – what we know today might as well moonwalk into absurdity tomorrow.

Now, identifying a charlatan is simpler than teaching a flamingo to tap dance – they're always serving up positive advice, capitalizing on our tendency to fall for recipes that are as obvious as a neon sign in a blackout but vanish faster than socks in the laundry.

However, in practice, professionals only utilize advice that evolution has sieved. People get rich because they avoid going bankrupt. Athletes stay in excellent physical shape not because they lose weight but because they avoid gaining fat.

The wisdom of life lies in understanding precisely what to steer clear of.

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Behold the ancient statues! Each of them had their very own live action figure to strike a pose. So, even back in those prehistoric times, folks had already cracked the 'top-secret code' on 'how to sculpt your bod.' They didn't have the Internet to search for '10 reasons why your muffin top refuses to budge' or 'The ultimate guide to evicting visceral fat. (for plastic surgery's use only)"

And you know what else they didn't have? They did NOT have: Grocery supermarkets stocked with chem-lab marvels in flashywrappers, televisions, automobiles, stairway escalators and fridges...

All that came fashionably late, and shortly after, the snazzy diets with glamorous names started sashaying into the scene...

Getting Cozy with the Bod

Let's Hunt for the Ultimate Fat Buster!

But wait, let's inject a dose of reality here through an IV of common sense:

Workouts for fat burning?

Nah, those are like unicorns at a tea party. Workouts are all about gaining skills and vibes, while energy burn is just a side hustle.

In my neck of the woods, we've got a bunch of gyms, outdoor workout spots, and paths for leisurely strolls and runs. I'm a witness, and I must give credit to the determination of some stubborn citizens who have been going to the gym and running for years without any noticeable results. They all maintain that same pleasantly plump physique.

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Here's the scoop: ANY physical activity burns energy, but sorry, no magic spell from Hogwarts will target that muffin top.

Your booty's safe, my friend.

When you're sweating it out, you're chomping through muscle triglycerides and glycogen. Fat's just chilling, not sweating it out, no matter how hard you wish.

When you consume fewer calories than your body needs, it resorts to burning subcutaneous fat to generate energy.

And this doesn't happen during training but while you sleep. That's when, under the cover of night, fat begins to leave the cells. This doesn't apply to those who undergo a secret operation called 'Midnight Fridge Raid' every night.

When you're in the negative calorie territory, your body's like a financial advisor at a clearance sale – it has to decide whether to burn that spare tire around your waist or go for the stash of glucose you loaded up from grandma's dumplings, a bowl of apples, or the most expensive and advanced sports nutrition. The effectiveness is pretty much the same for all. They're all in the same boat.

Hooray! We're talking BURNING SUBCUTANEOUS FAT! And it works, but only when your calorie ship has sailed. Your reserves step in like the cavalry, keeping you operational minus the extra poundage.

- Workout isn't focused on weight loss; it's more like cell mass rejuvenation.

- Workout isn't focused on weight loss; it's more like making your joints as solid as your aunt's advice.

- Workout isn't focused on weight loss; it's more like kicking your hormones awake, like a bucket of cold water on Monday morning.

Life as a teenager for the first forty years is quite a challenge!

And then comes the surprise maintenance. Neglect self-care? Welcome to the colonoscopy on a budget. This procedure is by no means cheerful, unless, of course, you're a fan of the classic rectal exam.

Fat burning? It's all about the Calorie deficit, Restrictions and Discipline.

Gluttons dig their own grave with their teeth.

The last trendy diets that are past their expiration date

INTERMITTENT FASTING

There's an abundance of diets out there, and they're all the rage, mostly because they sell like diet-friendly hotcakes. Take INTERMITTENT FASTING, for example. It's all rooted in scientific research. But hang on to your salad forks, because our man Yoshinori Ohsumi – that Japanese molecular biology guru – won the Nobel Prize in 2016 for his groundbreaking work on autophagy mechanisms. Now, here's the kicker – he didn't dabble in ANY DIETS, and he certainly didn't scribble out any diet plans! In fact, he wouldn't know a fat-burning regime from a hole in the lab wall. But, hold onto your kale smoothies, folks, because somehow this Nobel laureate got roped into THERAPEUTIC FASTING – it was selling like organic, gluten-free, low-carb hotcakes, and he got caught in the dietary crossfire. He went so far as to personally disavow any diet-related connections or academic diet-hacking. But, as the saying goes, you can't un-eat a triple bacon cheeseburger – we were already in over our heads.

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Here are three questions that arise as a result of recent scientific research:

Are there any real benefits to intermittent fasting over regular snacking?

Is there any danger in intermittent fasting, especially when it comes to muscle loss rather than fat loss?

and finally

Does intermittent fasting truly kickstart the processes of autophagy?

I probably won't dwell on what intermittent fasting is; I just mentioned that there are regimens like 8/16 or 6/18. Some people even prefer not to eat for whole days, and this regimen is called 2/5. For example, a person