IT’S NEVER THE RIGHT TIME

By Logan Carder

I Logan Carder born March 28, 1995 in Denton Texas became aware of my addiction at age 14, when I realized nothing was enough. Thus umbrellaed my curiosity right into a relationship with demons. Inner bondage grew loud and fierce over the years as I struggled at understanding "what's the point" I went through 5 inpatient rehabs with the desperate attempt to divert my life away from death and misery. I've been in and out of jail for drugs and violence, and each and every time I went into a facility I shared my spirit and direction and knew it to be truth. The more dark people I tried to light up, the more fulfilling my life became. Countless people begun telling me, " You should right a book" with each exit from various institutions… I began agreeing with them as sobriety became more of a lifestyle then a goal, yet it was never the right time. It was here that the understanding formed that its never the right time and we will continuously put off what is more agitation to deal with more comfort within ourselves in the moment, stunting the area of growth in which we wish to expand. How we do small things, is how we do all things. Once I understood my personality was the problem not the drugs. I developed the process of changing everything. I changed the way I understood the world over the course of two years by changing the topics I speak on and speaking through spirit instead of EGO. I got my GED in jail being that I dropped out of Marcus H.S. I've done 6 years of my 28 year old life, locked up. As I approach 4 years sober this January 2024. I look into the promised land, and what my life looks like without alcohol/drugs compared to what it looks like with it. I got out of prison 10/21/2022. I've been home a little over a year being that it is December, I have launched my own company Asset Ascension in the E-commerce space, in which I have two students I'm teaching as well. I bought a house in June, followed by a 2023 Indian motorcycle, I see my son every other weekend and I'm constantly coming to a better understanding of myself. We all have who we think we are, and who we truly are. How do we minimize that gap ? Follow me as I take on the world of recovery with raw example, if you have faith behind the thought your giving set thought life. Let's speak a new future, know a new future and fulfill our future with promise. This is not a destination, so I look forward to feedback as I stride into the new year with thoughts around how I can help you. God is tangible in my life. The spirit is at your discretion, which do you choose to feed. Let me know how I can help. I have come to realize getting out of SELF, is the only way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Logan Carder
• Release date: Jan 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9781959820482

Book preview

IT’S NEVER THE RIGHT TIME

DISTRACTION VS DISCIPLINE

BY: Logan Carder

Copyright © Logan Carder

Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-959820-50-5

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-959820-49-9

E-book ISBN: 978-1-959820-48-2

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

Published by Author Ghost Writer. Buffalo Groove Illinois.

Printed on acid-free paper.

Author Ghost Writer. 

2023

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I've waited this long to tie the book together with raw data through experience. Not only the experience of transitioning from prison to the free world but also figuring out who I am as a person blinking back into society after three years. Who am I as a co-worker, friend, brother, son, and most importantly, father?

Someone who has abused porn, sex, drugs, greed, and ego to find a way through the damage of how indifferent I truly am. Someone who cried when reality hit, entering a comedown. You may or may not relate. Unfortunately, in society today, 2023, everyone has some form of this inner bondage due to lack of condition. We condition our psyche, our body, our finances, and our spiritual network. To become balanced is to be disciplined in all these affairs, which takes conditioning. Might I add there's no such thing as past or future; all we truly have is now. Yet now, it is overwhelming, so I’ll relieve my stress by scrolling on social media. Or whatever is less agitating, or perhaps more comfortable, rather than conditioning my growth in a promising direction.

How did I accumulate a vision? Allow me to walk you through the pollution I WALKED into. I WALKED INTO. We condition our minds from Day 1. We step foot into the learned behaviors and habits. We form lovely characters fast in this day and age. But it's truly because were out of self. Perception-based emotions run our day-to-day, simultaneously programming our stress into certain outcomes of the future. Instead of stead fast in a direction that I'll say again promising. Knowing how you will view certain environments before you see them is to awaken to balance. Do not let outside forces disrupt your alignment on the specific journey you deserve. Perspective has polarity within each duel spectrum perceived by the individual, at least on a quantum level. So I ask you what's inate? Cohesed to your core, what have you made enate?

Maybe it's not that serious, so you give up finding balance because life is overwhelmingly fast-paced. This may be the understatement of the century. Or perhaps it is that serious, so you ignore it. You put it on the back burner and let it simmer! What are we talking about? Your porn addiction destroys any concept of spiritual intimacy, that bitch ass vape, or how you get up after 3-5 snoozes and grudge the day from the get. What a lovely way you’ve programmed yourself.

A quote by the infamous Paul Walker :

-somebody is in the hospital right now begging GOD for the opportunity you have. Don’t you dare go to bed depressed. Count your blessing and shake it off –

What makes an empire? Calculations conducted with a bold determination while simultaneously having the right energy about it are the catch. So, how do you stimulate a foreign foundation? A better day? Better character? Well, everything is energy, and this is what worked for me. If you look into your character, there are trails. Some more, some less, we adapt to our environment through interactions, so what is it that I entertain? I used to crave people with my cocktails, which makes for a better cocktail. But I switched my mentality when I heard my attorney state, There were 40 years on the table. I pray you see faith in yourself before hearing such news or death. These habits run fear past our desire to see it through. Alcohol (spirits) loves you. That’s why you can't get up; these entities' forces are holding you down with a domain in your chest. They live and thrive when you thrive or create. That’s if you were creating friction in the realm of truth, what you intended for verse contributing to the realm of suffering.

Acknowledgments

I’d like to open by acknowledging the one capturing these words right now. I hope to connect with you through this book. I hope to expand certain viewpoints on the reasons we justify. In return, it gives clarity into why your life is the way it is. I got what I deserved; we all get what we deserve in a certain regard. I know I plant apples now with the sound mind of sobriety and don’t expect oranges at harvest. But this book goes out to all inner bondage. Whatever shape has taken place, you are the creator of your reality. I pray this message gets to the one who needs a shake to a new alignment. You are so close to where you want to be. It’s the faith I lacked.

I’d like to acknowledge Melissa Carder, my HERO of a mother, for never giving up on me even when everyone else was sold.

I’d like to acknowledge Lauren Carder, my sister, for consistently challenging my thoughts and displaying phoenix energy in the mix of it all.

Lastly, I’d like to shout out to everyone still striving to learn the freedom of thriving. With this put in motion with faith, it cannot come true. Thus, just means you didn’t have faith in what it was, to begin with. The only power to taste this other side comes from each other. You must be surrounded by what you are trying to align with and acknowledge the things that don’t. This is why recovery helps you change your construct. I saw what other people had. I became desperate for anything other than what it was. So this shout-out goes out to the ones trying daily to do better.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

Chapter 1

DIVE IN OR DON’T SWIM

Chapter 2

SO YOU THINK SO YOU ARE

Chapter 3

CAPSTONE

Chapter 4

AFTERMATH

Chapter 5

POWER SOURCE

Chapter 6

DIVINE TIMING

Chapter 7

ROUND ONE

Chapter 8

ROUND 2

Chapter 9

HOME

Chapter 10

LIFE WILLING

LIFE PART 2

Chapter 11

BETO BASED

Chapter 12

BLOODY BRADSHAW

Chapter 13

MIRROR

Chapter 14

COLLECTING MEDIUM

Chapter 15

LIFE PART 5 CONTINUED.

Chapter 16

I AM ANOTHER YOU

About The Author

INTRODUCTION

Unfortunately, I had to see the inside of prison twice, missing out on multiple of my son's birthdays and family holidays to take my life seriously. Living a double life is too common these days. In my opinion, it is due to a lack of spirituality. We all have untapped energy at our discretion. Life has a way of coming like a train, yelling, getting on, or leaving behind. This vast earth of ours running on a perfect clockwork complex circuit is everything but simple and slow. We are strangers to science fiction. We are swallowed by society in daily activity. I forgot how to slow down and sit still prior to realizing I needed to. Thus, I came to a breaking point where I felt lost and out of control, questioning whether I should take my life.  

Is this straining delusion worth waking up? It was only when I was forced to sit still behind bars, cedar block walls, and barbed wire fences that reality would take place. The only reason I feel this way is my actions. Once, my attorney came to visit me and stated the district attorney was offering 40 years in prison. My knees became buckled, and my presence went pale as I thought about my entire life in a matter of ten seconds, followed by the thought of how my little boy was going to grow up without a dad, just like I did, due to my selfishness. I question where I would be today if my energy or spirituality were tamed at a young age. Where would the world be? You alone make a difference in the world. My self-awareness was lost before I realized I had polluted my principles, which enabled a path of destruction like chaos fueled by greed, power, and pride. The only way I can alter the construct of habits I've engrained is to work steadfastly on a paved path of spreading hope and remaining out of self. The only way to get out of oneself is to help others. I have to shed being a slave to myself to be a guide to others. My goal is to get across this message of inspiration to the soul who seeks change in hopes that you do not have to enter the realm of insanity to divert your life. Or entertain the thought of who you are in the presence of survival mode? You can become. Your attitude towards failure creates your fortune. How we get back up is everything; not only does it help with your success, it also looks at failure as a lead to a different opportunity. But, it instills hope within your mind and those on your journey. 

There was pain between my ears as I projected to make things clear, only to add blinds to what I wanted to appear. Anxiety in fear bottles up inside the quote, it's just a damn beer. I acknowledged people and surroundings, acknowledging bondage and drowning. What's truly worth this suffering? Ask yourself, am I the person I enjoy being and want to be in twelve months? Am I suffering my marriage to go to the bar? Am I suffering going to the gym at 5 am? What would your life look like if you embraced suffering by going to the gym before work? This is one example of many you can begin to unravel in the fruition of your future. I believe we have to suffer to change. Is there anyone you know that did not suffer their first week of working out? But with the example of this same individual stated above, where are their stress levels or suffering 12 months into a steady workout routine? Are you where you want to be mentally, physically, financially, and most importantly, spiritually in twelve months? Do we ever get to where we want to be mentally or emotionally? I believe our mind is so powerful it will agree with whatever we tell it. Therefore, if you believe you are doomed to your current mindset, you're doomed. This enlies the issue of not understanding how to remain comfortable being uncomfortable.

The pressure is on because my life depends on it! In this book, I will tell you how I retrained my brain. Let me start by saying it's never the right time! We all have the power to change. The question is, do we want to go through the effort to access a different reality when ours is okay? Is it just okay? 

In this read, I will go through how to change your life as I, Logan Carder, a 25-year-old male with a past of addiction to meth and alcohol with a self-absorbed delusional ego fitting the world in the quick of my nail. I hope to reveal my current truth on how I've escaped the vortex of dopamine addiction and found the intrinsic value of life. My only desire in this short read is to spread hope. I am the truth in motion. If I can do it, so can you. 

The majority of the world doesn't know how to be comfortable being uncomfortable. As humans, we tend to choose the path of less friction entirely. How do we acquire desire? Most of us enjoy playing the victim role our entire life. We are all a product of our environment, but we all wake up 24 hours a day. Why are some people extremely, living paycheck to paycheck and others committing suicide with seven figures in the bank? Why did my friends Morgan and Arianna kill themselves at age 17? I wasn't taught at a young age how to manifest my emotions or control them. By the time we learn how to discipline or concentrate our emotions, we've experienced trauma, being the reason we looked out of the box in the first place. Do you just take a glimpse? It's more comfortable to keep your perspective inside the box.

As a parent, it's easier to tell your child to concentrate on their homework and finish dinner, and how often do we take the time to do a concentration exercise, such as meditation? If it's something we don't do, we especially do not pass it down to our children. Exploring control of conscience through meditation could be the key to enlightenment. I believe enlightenment will