Surviving Teenagers - A Quick Guide

By RP Doyle

Teenagers are a unique species. They can sleep through a tornado but awaken at the sound of a bag of chips rustling. They use grunts, eye rolls, and emojis to communicate, which makes you question if they're covertly trying out for a silent movie. It's a period when they demand more freedom but continue to beg for money, which is essentially the greatest oxymoron in human history.

Being a parent while navigating this hormonal minefield might make you feel like the star of your reality TV series, "Survivor: Parent Edition." From mood fluctuations that make the stock market appear stable to the puzzling disappearance of an entire loaf of bread in one sitting, challenges come in all shapes and sizes.

As much as I would like to claim that there is a perfect manual for handling teenagers, I cannot deceive you, parents. Sorry, but there is no cheat code to automatically transform your rebellious teen into a responsible adult.

However, by reading this book, you just might be able to bridge that ever-widening gap between you and your teenage child.

• Language: English
• Publisher: RP Doyle
• Release date: Oct 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223787549

RP Doyle

I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter.  I have worked through the years as a family counselor, specializing in conflict resolution between the generations of parents, grandparents and children.

Book preview

TABLE OF CONTENT

Introduction

Chapter One; Effective communication

Chapter Two; Nurturing respect

Chapter Three; Managing Teenage Mood Swings

Chapter Four; Taming rebellion

Chapter Five; The Talk Sex Education Part 1

Chapter Six; Romantic relationships, Sex education part 2

Chapter Seven; Violence

Chapter Eight; Drugs and alcohol

Chapter Nine; Personal Boundaries

Chapter Ten; Life Goals

Conclusion

INTRODUCTION

Parenting is not a day’s job. For someone who is probably not a parent, the early years of a child’s life might be considered the toughest to handle. From handling midnight feeding to diaper change and making sure your baby hasn’t somehow fallen off their bassinet, babies, and toddlers can be a lot to handle. Yet, most parents who have teenagers can only dream of the days when smelly diapers and noisy nights were all they had to worry about.

Teenagers are a unique species. They can sleep through a tornado but awaken at the sound of a bag of chips rustling. They use grunts, eye rolls, and emojis to communicate, which makes you question if they're covertly trying out for a silent movie. It's a period when they demand more freedom but continue to beg for money, which is essentially the greatest oxymoron in human history.

Being a parent while navigating this hormonal minefield might make you feel like the star of your reality TV series, Survivor: Parent Edition. From mood fluctuations that make the stock market appear stable to the puzzling disappearance of an entire loaf of bread in one sitting, challenges come in all shapes and sizes.

As much as I would like to claim that there is a perfect manual for handling teenagers, I cannot deceive you, parents. Sorry, but there is no cheat code to automatically transform your rebellious teen into a responsible adult.

However, by reading this book, you just might be able to bridge that ever-widening gap between you and your teenage child.

Parenting a teen can feel like riding a rollercoaster while wearing blinkers, but it's also an adventure full of moments that will make you smile, cry, and regret not getting a soundproof room sooner. You can get through the teenage years with your sanity (mostly) intact by being aware of the particular difficulties this stage presents and setting the tone with effective communication, consistency, empathy, quality time, and a generous dose of humor. Just keep in mind that parents everywhere are right there with you, ready to support you with dad jokes and an endless supply of pizza.

Now let’s get started!

CHAPTER ONE

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION : Building Trust and Understanding

One thing a teenager would never do is tell you exactly what’s on their mind. Perhaps on TV, an emotional scene between a parent and their teen might pop up and you watch this actor play out the role of the perfect child, sharing woes and joy with their parent, whilst you could only dream of such a moment with your own child.

Teenagers are like ticking bombs and you can never tell what would set them off. They expect you to listen to their everyday problems with the seriousness of a crime scene investigator and they might get upset if you let out a yawn in the middle of their complaints, never mind that you probably had a long day at work and had to skip lunch for an important meeting, Nooo, you become public enemy number one because you don’t think the world would end over an argument they had with their friends at school.

Talking to teenagers is not an easy task. So here are a few tips to help you ride out the rocky road of communicating with your teenage child without becoming the villain in their story;

Listen Like You're Auditioning for an Oscar:

Imagine that the conversations you have with your teenager are live auditions for the Oscars of Empathetic Listening. Lean in, give a hearty nod, and say a few uh-huh’s and tell me more just for good measure. Act as though their speech about the drama on reality TV from last night is the most captivating thing you've ever heard. You're binge-listening, just like when you watch a Netflix series!

It's Not a Game of Charades, Use Your Body Language

Your body is a superhero of communication, conveying signals even when you are not speaking. Keep your eyes together, but not in a creepy, I'm planning to take over the world type of way. Avoid arm-folding gestures that suggest you are defending the final slice of pizza by using open body language. It's not like you're going on a toothpaste commercial audition, so just smile kindly.

It might seem like a lot of rules to follow to communicate with your child, but you need to understand that teenagers are very aware of body language and have exaggerated translations in their minds. A small action of shrugging your shoulders could easily be translated as My mom doesn’t like me or Dad doesn’t take me seriously so this is a particular rule that has to be applied carefully.

Don't Just Use Emoji; Use Words, Too:

Emojis are fun, but they can't replace words in communication. Saying sweep the house instead of 🧹🏠  in a text message to your teenager may be more effective. Inaccuracies can be avoided by using clear, concise language. Additionally, it helps you sound less like a teenage boy trying to decode hieroglyphics. You might think your constant use of emojis makes you seem cool or makes them see you as one of their own but as trivial as it seems, it has a negative effect on the impression of your authority as a parent.

Joking around with your kids occasionally is fine and might even help you bond, but never replace your words with unclear expressions that leave room for disrespect.

Humor: The Universal Language

Communication's secret ingredient is humor. Faster than a ninja in a china shop, a well-timed joke may ease the tension. You want chuckles, not groans, so just stay away from offensive material.

Who doesn't want more laughing in their lives?

Keep in mind that a laugh might be the link between understanding and communication. Teenagers might make a fuss about Dad jokes, claiming that they are lame or too old-fashioned yet they’d crack a smile and chuckle at them every once in a while. The key is knowing how to time your jokes.

This means considering the feelings of your teenager. A joke might be useful when they’re sad or upset about something that might have happened to them during the day. Telling a joke to an angry teenager might just be the thing that ticks off the bomb, causing an explosion of rebellious activity. So yes feel free to make jokes with your teenager but never at them.

Don't debate, Validate;

VALIDATE SOMEONE WHEN they express their ideas or emotions. It's not like in a debate when you have to take the side of the opposition. Say I understand why you feel that way, as opposed to making a counterpoint. There are no victors and losers in conversations (unless you're arguing over who will wash the dishes tonight). Parents tend to believe that whatever decisions their teenager makes are probably on the opposite side of common sense, so rather than listen and consider the ideas these kids come up with, it’s easier to simply shut them down by focusing on the part we consider ridiculous, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Shutting down your child before they even get the chance to fully express themselves is going to have a negative impact on their mindset and cause them to communicate with you less, and you don’t want that. So your child thinks that getting a motorcycle would be pretty cool as a birthday present but you’re scared that your sixteen-year-old kid would probably get hurt on a motorcycle. Rather than point out that you don’t think they’re responsible enough to handle the situation, validate their request by agreeing that a motorcycle would make a great present, compromise by setting goals for them to reach to get the motorcycle or let them attend riding classes to show that they care about safety, if it is an expense that you cannot afford, simply communicate this to them rather than build up a negative speaking pattern that might create misunderstandings between you and your child.

Be patient, when listening;

When someone is presenting quantum physics using hand-drawn illustrations on napkins, effective communication occasionally demands the patience of a saint. Breathe deeply, control your inner eye-roll, and keep in mind that comprehension can take time. Who wouldn’t want to decipher the universe's mysteries over a cup of coffee, after all?

Teenagers can get very obsessive when it comes to their interests. Whether it’s a book they just started reading or their favorite anime or perhaps the new video game that just got released. They always want to share their excitement with someone and if you’re lucky enough as a parent to be chosen as