Despite Bobby (aka the enigma man)  feeling “internal” today he’s made the very fatherly decision to join me anyway, and in this episode our big topic is how to communicate with your daughter as an absent father who’s trying to be less… well, absent. While I was waiting for my dad to call me, he was, as he puts it, "let be and let god". For me? Let be and let abandonment issues get worse and worse. Hey dad? Are you ever gonna call me? 
We’re diving into the expectation vs. reality of father-daughter relationships and talking about parenting at its finest, like who should fold clothes, check on the laundry and how dad’s parenting claim-to-fame is that he changed my diapers as a baby and “facilitated” an accidental teaching moment. In order to overcome my tit-for-tat mentality, we open the flood gates and share my resentments. 
Bobby says the key to relationships is not taking someone for granted. So, I explain my philosophy on equal-effort exchange relationships and why I don’t go out of my way to make him coffee (and definitely won’t fold his clothes).
We’re talking all about how distant dads connect with their kids, and what I really needed to hear as a child frame of mind. If you’re wondering how to communicate with your teenage daughter over the phone (or, in person for that matter) you need to hear this: giving your kids space and waiting until they’re ready isn’t the key to building that relationship.
Instead, you need to reach out. Kids suck at talking to adults—that’s why you get uninvested responses like “school was fine.” If you’re looking to really make an impact, try connecting with kids through stories. Sharing your experiences with them, even if you think they don’t want to hear it, might just be the key to giving you that something you need to start rebuilding your relationship.
And, if you’re the daughter of an absentee father, there’s something in here for you too. Sometimes, dads suck at being dads (whether they’re there all the time or not). They’re nervous, unsure and they have no idea what to do. Being open, honest and talking about things that might seem uncomfortable could bring on a whole new level of understanding.
Life is full of lessons, and today’s is a great one. Don't leave your kid hanging on the other line waiting for you to call. 
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