Middle-Even Balanced Area

By Timothy Lust

This book offers insights into parenting, families, and relationships, aiming to shed light on subtle aspects without prescribing rigid solutions. Recognizing that you don't own your children can alleviate some of the challenges associated with parenting. While no book offers definitive answers due to human individuality, embracing broader conce

• Language: English
• Publisher: Self-Published
• Release date: Mar 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869234414

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MISSION STATEMENT

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"F inally, Some Transparency. If I were to summarize an entire perspective from this books’ overall agenda, those few equitable words would do that for me. Transparency is; an open-minded, unbiased objective to just about anything. The definition of objective is: A persons’ judgment not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts, or something like that! Consider that opinions can become facts; however, facts can’t reduce down to… Opinions."

Unintentional ownerships left lingering can become misconstrued by your developing childs’ perspective. Consistent misunderstandings between a parent and child could become a full-blown dictatorship before either of you ever realize it, especially within the eyes of your child. One question that could arise here. Does your Childs’ view matter all that much? The answer should be, of course. Any false sense of ownership from parents to children could create long lasting and delusional effects, if left to linger. Don’t let that happen!

I know most parents would never intentionally harm their kids; however, any ongoing, unintentional injury could sustain some hurt just the same. Even unintended ownerships could confuse your loved ones, and you might come off behaving more like a dictator in your Childs’ eyes than a real leader. Teach more, and you could discipline less. Discipline can remain a reinforcement of punishment rather than a teaching moment. Kids could find it challenging to learn from more of a dictator rather than genuine leader.

Most kid’s might intentionally, or unintentionally pay you back someday when the tide turns, and the ripples will do an about-face! Paybacks, might be at the very least in the form of rebellion, and at the most in the manner of running as far away as they can get, usually before their eighteenth birthday. You could lose a significant number of years together. Please don’t let that happen!

Ultimately, it can be intimidating to be solely responsible for your children without having actual ownership of them; however, consider that our infants and toddlers can’t fully grasp that you don’t (actually) own them. Because of protection, they’re typically content being your little possession during those younger years. Things should start to change though, usually around the double-digit years of ten or eleven. Consider embracing change in life because everyone’s existence appears to continually do just that.

Obtaining more of a childs’ own independence should become prosperous, with productive parenting, that is. Most productivity in life usually refers to forging ahead, not idle or worst case, regressing backwards; sometimes unbeknownst. Maybe only be concerned if your child doesn’t desire some additional freedoms once obtaining those double-digit years. Just maybe.

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CHAPTER ONE

PROTECT OR PREPARE

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Perhaps the original chapter should read: Protect and Prepare, the same way most other chapter titles will make use of the term and. One problem with utilizing and here is that it might confuse things for your child. These two aspects of parenting could offset each other when combined. Parents protecting their kids from too many things could prevent any awareness. If caregivers were readily standing right over any Childs’ shoulder throughout their entire lives, they could help protect them from most everything; however, we both know parents can’t always be right behind those little tikes, even as early as their... Kindergarten years.

I have a song analogy that might describe a well-balanced ratio between the essence of protecting versus preparing your child with the same reassurance. A talented artist performed this in the Country Music World. Harold Jenkins performed many songs with the first lady of Country music, Miss Loretta Lynn. Together, they created a real Dynamic Duo. Sometimes it can be difficult to compete with good ole fashion chemistry.

This song describes a young boy experiencing a nightmare with the passing of his father. Naturally, the little tike makes his way down the mirrored hall to his dads’ bedroom for comfort. His father protects his young son with reassurance. As the boy grows, he and his dad barely got along, becoming less transparent because of the different dreams his dad had for… He and me.

After years of not entirely connecting, the father prepares his son for the boys’ future with, again, the re-assurance of providing airfare if his protégé fails because: That’s my job, that’s what I do! Parents’ protection is always good; however, too much of a good thing isn’t good, or something like that. Parents typically can only protect more enthusiastic children for so long before that protection starts doing more harm than good. Luckily for me, you get to determine your own ratio towards these two adjacent aspects of parenting.

One possible solution to protecting or preparing kids more could be with developing some-sort of a balanced ratio towards these two adjacent paths of parenting, perhaps creating the best of both worlds, and simultaneously, at that. Since you don’t (actually) own your children, when slightly confused about protecting versus preparing them more, you usually can’t go wrong with primarily developing your loved ones first and foremost. If you’re not growing, you’re probably shrinking. Just how you go about maturing loved ones at home, including yourself, remains with you… Good luck!

My attempt in writing this book is to (merely) open your mind to some broader concepts, with you filling in the blanks; so, how you prepare your child for their (own) future remains solely with you. My objection in this initial chapter is to present both correlating, but different aspects of parenting. When protecting or preparing your kids for their future, whichever element of parenting you predominately choose to embrace is finally up to you. Good luck, and consider this…

Preparing your children more could be considered a long-term protection. Even when kids are at the young age of five, parents won’t always be at arms’ length when they hit society via kindergarten. The better we shape and prepare our kids, the less shielding that may be required.

Protect them from whom? Someone may ask. Protecting them from themselves mainly! As we know: People can be their own worst enemies, including… Little people.

Some children might need more protection from themselves than others, depending on how easily your child can forget. Select parents might become prone to overprotecting children; however, trying to do too much for your kids may take away opportunities toward their own accomplishments via what some refer to as any… Self-preparedness.

Nonchalant parents might decide It’s only kindergarten; how detrimental could that be for any child? Wow, what a philosophy! Realistically, it could be the little kindergarten battlefields, the bullying, and the name-calling that can leave some of the worst scars, especially for those less fortunate tikes that can’t forget as easily as other children.

Various parents may have put this book down already, saying He’s crazy; I’m going to protect my baby. I’ll worry about preparing them down the road. Well, when would you hope that would stop? By stop, I merely mean stop predominately protecting your kids, and start preparing them more.

How about your thirty-year-old or baby at forty who hasn’t ever ventured away from the nest? I highlighted the word ever here because there could be quite a difference for any forty-year-old moving back home to care for an aging parent. Life can become all about… Perspectives.

Those parents being misconstrued may have only thought they owned their kids in some fashion or another all those years. Dissatisfied parents may have gotten a little more than they ever bargained for. The real question might eventually become "Whatever would you do with the owning of a bouncing forty-year-old baby anyway?"

Some parents could include a thirty-year-old baby to an excuse list people readily try and establish for themselves, perhaps even adding that scenario to anyone’s personal, not a lot, list. In the following paragraph, let’s broaden our horizons and allow me to elaborate when referring to this notion of someone’s Not a lot, list

If my spouse would just do a little more, or try a little harder, then our marriage would be so much better. Our home would be much less chaotic if our children would just listen a bit better. What about this oldie but a goodie?... If only my boss were a little nicer, then I could get that promotion I’ve been waiting so long for."

How about If the Democrats had stayed in power, then I’d have more money at the end of the month. Someone might even convince themselves that if the weather weren’t so doggone dreary, then they could have a more positive outlook. These excuses are what I refer to as anyone’s own… Not a lot, list.

What if there were a few more sunny days? What ultimately would that do for your overall life, and isn’t your spouse doing quite a bit already? What if the Democrats had remained in power, how would they have sparked a genuine opportunity within your financial daily life? More transparently… Not a lot! Try not to get confused when it comes to your own success and failures in life. Consider fashioning your own destiny. Maybe secure the courage to go find any mirror within your home and simply say… I’m looking at the problem!

Perhaps stop having someone else’s days, especially for too long of a time. I highlighted the word time here; and will periodically throughout our journey because time is probably our most precious commodity, perhaps even more valuable than our money simple because people can get more money, but very unfortunately, no one can acquire more time! Once you spend a day, you unequivocally have one less day to spend; unlike when spending a dollar, people can always go out and earn ten more. This should make time more valuable than even our money!

Consider teaching your children not to allow other people or things to take control of their (own) destiny, possibly even starting with you, their parents! Some helicopter moms could get motivated to control any kids’ every move. It might become hard to determine your childs’ genuine abilities that way. If you and/or your kids don’t start taking charge of your own days, or your own plans someday, you’ll probably always fit into someone else’s agenda. Guess what someone else may have planned for you? That’s right… Not a lot!

Consider becoming better responsible towards yourself first and foremost. The more transparency your kids see within you, the better you can teach them their own responsibilities, leading to their own accountability someday.

Your children are always watching what you do and just how you do it! Get ready for this phrase a time or two along our journey here. Because your children are always watching, maybe demonstrate more of a righteous example for them. Just maybe.

If allowed to speak candidly, without offending anyone, I can offer this; There’s a significant problem with almost everyone’s excuse list. The main hindrance could be that you aren’t on it. Consider becoming responsible and more transparent by putting yourself on that discontent type of list. Some people may continue drifting along in life, but not you. You’re already positioning yourself to experience an alternate path by initially committing to these first few pages, and I do so appreciate it.

I was blessed enough to have encountered a distinguished gentleman who was a brilliant communicator. He helped me create a real difference within. This unique old timer enlightened me to the simple fact that if I would change, the possibility of things changing for me would become (absolutely) profound! I invite you on that journey. I was fortunate enough to have this difference maker come along, but what if no one makes it by? You may have to come up with a better plan than that! Consider becoming a good planner. One reason is that sometimes the planning part of things can be the most rewarding as well.

That gentleman was not only intelligent… But was also humble and kind. These human characteristics are a few quality traits to consider displaying for your loved ones. I used italics for humble because humility is probably the gateway towards all the other virtues. Jesus was humble. Just how you find humility, then determine that over towards your loved one remains with you… "Good luck!

That counselor clearly explained one day. He said: If you change, things can all change for you. He immediately added, However, if you won’t change, chances are things will probably never (really) be willing to change for you. He further demonstrated: "You’ll keep waking up where you don’t want to live, continue driving what you (really) don’t want to drive, and blaming the government or some other organization for your own shortcomings. This superb individual communicated exceedingly well to me, without all the noise that can distract us from time to time. Let’s refer to Carley Simons’ noise as… The winds that blow.

Consider becoming more observant to set your own sail, then guide your vessel towards prosperity no matter which direction the winds begin to blow. Avoid having other people set your sail for you because some people can have you heading for the rocks! Don’t let that happen. So many people appear to remain drifting along (sleepwalking) through life to the point of not even having their sails up! Please don’t let that happen.

Your efforts are compelling, even up to this point. You’re already showing real diligence and enthusiasm by reading on, and I really do appreciate it! Realistically, that might be all it takes to make a better difference within your own life, to include the lives of your loved ones, a little diligence and perhaps some good old fashion, enthusiasm. Currently, the level of crime and corruption is compelling to say the least… It’s alarming to say the most! Unfortunately, diligence and enthusiasm are rarely seen enough for these complicated days.

With just a bit of enthusiasm, you don’t need some union or the government to get that next promotion. I’m saying that you (really) probably don’t! If you sit around waiting for some union or the government to get you that next raise, I’m concerned about your chances in life. Let’s take the minimum wage scale for instance. The minimum wage currently is right around ten dollars per hour. Consider this…

When first getting hired by those major home improvement stores, if you wear their apron, smile, and create a positive experience for their customers, they’ll immediately give you twelve dollars an hour. Wow, twenty percent more money, and so expeditiously at that! … Lord it’s a Miracle!

It’s not some miracle my friend… It’s merely you, and it remains you who can expeditiously make the most difference within your own life. I invite you down that journey! You can create the most gains in your life long before someone else can, or some other organization ever will, if you’re interested. Now, I know some people are just not interested, but certainly not you!

How could this person have obtained twenty percent more equities for themselves, then achieved that gain so expeditiously at that? Simply put, this better, more enthusiastic person merely became much more valuable in society! I invite you on that journey, the path towards becoming more useful within… The marketplace.

Even with sticking closer to protecting versus preparing your children more, most reasonable parents would agree thirty is a ridiculous age to start preparing kids for their own future, consequently protecting them a little less. Parents may feel thirteen is the right age. Someone might ask — A good age for what? The right time to protecting them less and start preparing them more. Parents could rationalize that kids beginning their teenage years can absorb more of their preparation efforts.

Some parents may feel it can be a waste of time and effort preparing kids more at those younger ages. At earlier stages, parents could figure it’s just simpler to create an easier path by predominantly protecting or safeguarding their children more. After all, you could do a much better job of protecting your little ones better than they ever could themselves, especially at those younger ages, and then undoubtedly with more ease at that.

I am grateful to share with our audience this: The easier paths in life may not always be the most prudent. There are very few shortcuts in life. Try and avoid getting lured towards the more relaxed ways of doing things. Transparently, consider seeking a better, more righteous, and challenging path. When defining the term righteous, perhaps the word transparency should be thrown into the mix somewhere, and vice versa.

Things continuously change in everyone’s life, which is an undeniable fact. Smaller children may tend to keep their parents at bay; however, that might not always remain. It could be quicker and easier for parents to protect their children from most things before they become teenagers, but at what cost? Up to this point mom or dad have been somewhat of an arm’s length away, but what kind of enabling might your constant protection of kids create?

Consider there can be plenty of lessons learned from kids, along with other sources. It may take less than three years for children to be ready for more of your preparation efforts rather than protective measures. It also doesn’t take nearly thirty years for your motivated little one to initiate some better learning on their own, along with lessons from you. Kindergarten comes along quickly in most kids’ lives. Like the Boy Scouts proudly declare: Be prepared, or again… Something like that!

Whether at arm’s length most of the time or not, some parents may say age two is an appropriate age to start preparing (teaching) their children more. Some parents may have a certain foresight with seeing a better, more mature two-year-old. Observant parents may decide that even at the young age of just two, their child is worth the extra time and effort it takes to teach toddlers a bit more, hence protecting them somewhat less.

Teaching is like preparing your kids more, while disciplining may become like protecting them from almost everything. Too much protection could (eventually) seem like a punishment within your Childs’ eyes. Does a Childs’ perspective matter all that much; after all, you’re the adult here and they’re only a child. Some parents don’t consider or care too much about how children might view their actions. This type of complacency can create a fundamental disconnect, especially from your Childs’ end of the spectrum. Consider this.

Just how long will it take you to teach your child to talk? About how long? One parent may decide: Well, we’ll give our child a couple of tries, and if they just can’t get it, we’ll simply give up. More committed parents might say what? Most parents will declare: "We’re teaching our child to talk until. I like what the word until" represents, so I secluded that term in the previous sentence.

Few parents can achieve the (actual) talking for their child, transparently reinforcing that… No, you don’t own your child, or your spouse who you’d love to have spoken for sometimes! Many of our parents will determine this… For as long as it takes, a couple of tries and simply give up, not my child! Consider keeping that philosophy for even the smaller things your toddler will attempt independently. The term your meaning… they look like you, and not much more than that!

Your tiny but enthusiastic two-year-old might be better ready than you think to achieve things more on their own. Consider allowing your kids to perform certain tasks all on their own. Independence can help raise more of a leader versus any follower. You should know your child better than anyone else, so this can give you an advantage in determining their readiness. Maybe try to exploit avenues of benefit from people you’re around daily, starting with yourself!

When taking that extra time required to teach, more astute parents may decide that under the age of one is the right era to start investing the more time and patience that preparing their children demands. Just how long will you spend teaching your infant to learn how to walk… About how long? The more straightforward answer is: As long as it takes! You’ve got to consider hanging out with people like that. Even at the tender age of fewer than one years old could be an ideal time to start preparing children more through repetition… The mother of skills.

Repetition can also be the mother of patience as well because tolerance is a mainstay that repetition requires. Better patience, and of course… Time. Sharper parents could realize their child’s worth investing the extra time and effort to train children towards some alternate things. How many other feats (no pun intended) can infant toddlers achieve more independently? Consider the fact that you should know your child better than anyone else knows them.

What else do you think they’re up to doing more independently? Smaller scenarios can remain subtle, or even lost, especially over an extended period. Maybe transform smaller methods into taller ones for yourself and loved ones by allowing them to achieve additional things (more) on their own! Just maybe.

Consider becoming better diligent towards all the worthwhile projects within your life, especially when developing and maintaining a more rounded, balanced, healthy, and happy home. Can raising a family really even be considered a project? Of course! I like what those two words together represent. Minor day-to-day things can make the most difference towards your overall adventures.

At what age do you think is advantageous to invest the extra time and effort consumed to prepare, hence teach your kids a little more rather than merely focusing on protecting or disciplining them? I’m not saying your children won’t learn when you predominately safeguard them. What I am suggesting is that your children could learn additionally (and better) if you take the extra time to allow your loved ones to participate in those life-long lessons. Self-lessons by any child are rarely forgotten. Once they got it (by themselves), they got it!

Parents can start showing kids how to protect themselves by preparing them more, instead of perhaps doing (the more) things for them. Some smaller corners of parenting can become subtle, or even lost, especially over an extended length of time. Consider redefining time, and how it affects your overall life. Your child will always learn things by watching you; however, they may learn perpetually not only by watching, but partially doing as well. Consider helping children to start teaching themselves via the avenue of… Self-participation.

When a baby cries at bedtime after having a seemingly happy and content day, their constant crying might stem from the terror of being or becoming completely alone. Incidentally, one of human’s ultimate and emotional worries might be the natural fear of being or ending up completely alone. When your infant cries at night, are you helping by always pacifying them to sleep? By not allowing your baby to soothe themselves sometimes, you could be well along that destructive path of an unintentional ownership. Don’t let that happen!

Children could attribute falling asleep more towards your intervention than their (own) real achievement. Consider not taking that accomplishment away from them in any regard. Instead, perhaps focus on preparing your kids more, even starting at those earlier stages by simply not participating sometimes.

Your infant/toddler will ultimately be the only ones’ getting themselves to sleep, but at what cost if you intervene? Are you eventually doing them any favors? Securing themselves can become the most effective tool for any child to learn throughout their entire lives! Teaching them leadership skills is a life lesson you may not want to detour kids from. Millennials appear comfortable with parents doing most everything for them. That implied type of ownership can become a formula for disaster! Please don’t let that happen.

One of the better ways for kids to learn how to do something right could be by allowing them to… Do it Wrong! An initial key might be choosing which challenges you’ll allow them to do wrong. The positive side of letting your child correct it (themselves) is they’ll remember it better. Once children get it independently, they got it! How inviting that could become for parents with having to do less; then being needed less? Less can be more.

Currently, it’s apparent that so many millennials have become lacking in the consequential areas of life, especially for these more complicated days. I suspect this could contribute to millennials feelings to their endless entitlements. I associate entitlement with weak, lazy, or even as far down as complacency. Maybe entitlements let go long enough could fall that far. Just maybe.

Incidentally, my goal in writing this book is to merely open your mind to consider broader concepts towards families and relationships. This quest can be challenging so I’ll rely on the word maybe numerous times, perhaps like the incredibly talented Sir Paul McCartney utilized this mind-opening term several times over, and over again in his creative tune: Maybe I’m Amazed. Consider this…

When first learning to walk, every enthusiastic baby will attempt to achieve balance, leading to walking on their own, at some point anyway. Babies trying to go solo might reach out for a chair leg. Pushing or pulling against a chair leg that keeps sliding away and failing them could result in your infant falling.

Luckily for parents, babies don’t have too far to fall. Children can become steadfast, resilient, innovative, and resourceful when given the opportunity! Most babies could try that object a few more times; however, if the chair leg continues to fail them, it typically doesn’t take your motivated infant long to accept this failure and go for something else, like a sturdier table leg, perhaps.

Even before an infant can talk, their tiny brains are probably still working, just pursuing other things. Infants can absorb things without having to let them out, at least for a short while anyway, maybe even similar-to that John Coffey at: The Green Mile. Just maybe.

How long will it take your enthusiastic baby (all on their own) to switch from the chair leg to that sturdier table leg? With your patience, it won’t take long for most infants to try that sturdier table leg. Here’s the exciting part, your baby will create this learning environment alone, without your intervention if allowed to. If your baby doesn’t go for a table leg, they’ll probably crawl to something else with giving them a leg up. Once again, (no pun intended). Infants are typically and naturally observant by merely; taking it all in.

Adults could learn plenty from kids; however, some parents may still say, they’re only a child so there’s nothing to be learned because I’m the adult!. Again, what a philosophy! That policy may get you through until about your childs’ fifth birthday or so. Consider having a two-way street with them right from the beginning. At the very start of that journey together, your child may only own the far-left end of that path; however, it’s their shoulder, and that smaller area of the roadway is essential, well… To them, anyway. Once you’ve given them their very own shoulder, typically, any enthusiastic child won’t be content with just that tiny part of the roadway for very long and; God bless them for that!

Avid infants/toddlers will eventually notice that distinctive white line that separates the shoulder from the trail and will naturally want to capture it. This phenomenon should continue, even if at a slower rate, through their teenage years until they reach their early twenties. At that juncture, children should be approaching that double yellow centerline. Much like our roadways, maybe wait for periodic and more opportune breaks within those double yellow lines whenever attempting to cross over into any childs’ lane. Just maybe.

Any balanced, stable area can be essential for productively communicating with your children, especially your spouse who acts childish sometimes! This area of steadiness is why that balance scale appears on the cover. Young adults reaching that double yellow line means you’re both on a predominately balanced two-way street and; God bless both of you for that! Kids getting closer and closer to the median of the road means they could start to wanting their caregivers more, instead of needing them as much. How you create a Middle-even, balanced area remains with you and yours, not mine, and... God bless me for that!

In observing children, I found that most have what I call, the ant philosophy. It can be an excellent trait for any enthusiastic little human being. If you’ve ever observed an ant, they’re persistent little creatures with plenty of resolve. Suppose an ant is on a mission, and they (and children) usually are, if you put an obstacle in their way they’ll eventually work past that barrier, whether that means maneuvering over it, under it, or going around what’s blocking them. You’ve got to consider hanging out with people like that! Very few ants or determined kids will give up, (peacefully) deciding to merely lay down. Most critters display plenty of enthusiasm and resolve, if allowed, and… God Bless them for that!

Children can remain quite persistent, to say the least… They can become (really) obstinate to say the most! As parents, consider guiding your Childs’ persistence instead of discouraging them from that natural-born trait. Any little tike’s continued stick-to-itiveness could be viewed as their exclusive act of: "Resolve, and once again… God bless them for that!"

Acts of perseverance should become quite helpful, essential, and tangible for your child someday! Consider not demoralizing any Childs’ genuine act of will power, even only unintentionally. I highly recommend it, not becoming disheartening within the eyes of a child, but perhaps