The Parenting Prophecy

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Something strange might happen at some point after you have kids. It could hit you during the rush before the school day or the climb into the car for soccer practice or the exhaustion of bedtime. You might catch a vivid glimpse of your own parents’ behavior—some specific mannerism plucked from your childhood memories and dropped right into the present. But the one who’s performing it is you.

I spoke with 17 people who have experienced this, in ways big or small, positive or negative or neutral. Some surprised themselves by subconsciously mimicking certain phrases their own parents used to use.Others told me they found themselves enacting the same physical tics as their parents: a certain stern look to communicate irritation, a way of breathing heavily when stressed. But not every example I heard was minor and specific. Many people I interviewed found themselves adopting whole attitudes—strict, or critical, or hyper-involved—that they felt were undeniably passed down