Self-Inflicted Limitation

By Mithun Sudarshan

All too often, we make excuses for the things we do not achieve in our lives. We would all like to be rich, popular, happy, and have our egos stroked regularly. In fact, our primary "lack of achievement" can be blamed on our childhood influences. From the day we are brought into this world, we begin to create a road map, which, for the most part, will define a more significant part of our lives. This road map direction can never be changed, only rerouted based on the influences around us. Through early childhood, our parents and friends define the routing of our life's road map to a large degree. Our parents, whether they meant to or not, influenced us with their insecurities, prejudices, and, most importantly, their failures, but does this mean we are destined to be like our parents? Not exactly! As we age, we experience other powerful influences such as friends, teachers, mentors, and others who alter our preconceived habits passed on from our parents. This is not to say that our parents can't be a significant influence in our lives; it merely means that we tend to absorb the most considerable impact. An excellent example of this would be parents that become overly paranoid with the possibility of failure, perhaps because they started a family business and lost money. Growing up, watching the family business fail could create a negative influence, therefore, changing direction on your life's road map.

 

Understanding the negative influences in our lives may be the master key to overcoming the fear of failure. In other words, our success becomes a by-product of our failures. As we experience failure, it gives us the knowledge, strength, and wisdom necessary to succeed. The problem with failure is that it is exasperated through our influences and becomes a negative force creating the "subconscious fear of failure." For example, if a child is taking an exam in school and gets a failing grade, the threat of punishment and lack of positive reinforcement can enhance this negative experience, causing the child to fear exams through adulthood. So how can a situation such as this be handled without allowing failure to be an acceptable alternative? Perhaps you need to go further back on the child's road map and identify the pattern of self-inflicted behavior. The child may be placing limitations on their potential through the perceived fears of failure brought on by negative influences from the past.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mithun Sudarshan
• Release date: Sep 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223458944

Mithun Sudarshan

Mithun Sudarshan is a young author who strives to promote moral teachings in his works. His 'Diaries of Darkness' series has garnered attraction from his first released volume,  'The Hidden Graveyard.' Mithun aspires to leave a legacy behind within his writings

Book preview

PROLOGUE

All too often, we make excuses for the things we do not achieve in our lives. We would all like to be rich, popular, happy, and have our egos stroked regularly. In fact, our primary lack of achievement can be blamed on our childhood influences. From the day we are brought into this world, we begin to create a road map, which, for the most part, will define a more significant part of our lives. This road map direction can never be changed, only rerouted based on the influences around us. Through early childhood, our parents and friends define the routing of our life's road map to a large degree. Our parents, whether they meant to or not, influenced us with their insecurities, prejudices, and, most importantly, their failures, but does this mean we are destined to be like our parents? Not exactly! As we age, we experience other powerful influences such as friends, teachers, mentors, and others who alter our preconceived habits passed on from our parents. This is not to say that our parents can't be a significant influence in our lives; it merely means that we tend to absorb the most considerable impact. An excellent example of this would be parents that become overly paranoid with the possibility of failure, perhaps because they started a family business and lost money. Growing up, watching the family business fail could create a negative influence, therefore, changing direction on your life's road map.

Understanding the negative influences in our lives may be the master key to overcoming the fear of failure. In other words, our success becomes a by-product of our failures. As we experience failure, it gives us the knowledge, strength, and wisdom necessary to succeed. The problem with failure is that it is exasperated through our influences and becomes a negative force creating the subconscious fear of failure. For example, if a child is taking an exam in school and gets a failing grade, the threat of punishment and lack of positive reinforcement can enhance this negative experience, causing the child to fear exams through adulthood. So how can a situation such as this be handled without allowing failure to be an acceptable alternative? Perhaps you need to go further back on the child's road map and identify the pattern of self-inflicted behavior. The child may be placing limitations on their potential through the perceived fears of failure brought on by negative influences from the past.

As adults, the road map is defined through childhood influences but stimulated through new life experiences. Learning to accept and redefine failure as a building block for success is the first step toward fulfillment. We cannot turn back the clock and change our past, but we can move forward and change the future. Although our road maps are strictly defined through life experiences, limiting our potential remains a self-inflicted behavior only created by our perceived fears of failure.

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How Do I Change My Life's Direction

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Understanding how you got where you are is the first step in understanding what you need to change. For each year of life, there were many miles traveled, and various directions were taken. In other words, there were so many influences in your life, both positive and negative; it is hard to identify each one individually. In fact, it wasn't just one influence that brought you to where you are today; it was many. Like a math equation, life consists of many dependent variables, which are those values that change as a consequence of changes. Like a path in life, one value or impact is completely determined by another or several others. Solving the unknown variable is not easy but very possible.

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Effecting Change

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To effect a change of direction, one must first analyze three constant variables: influence, environment, and past critical events. Each has a significant impact on a person's path in life and, ultimately, how they define success. For example, a person who has lived in a negative environment for a good part of their life may define success differently than someone who has not. For most people, personal and professional fulfillment becomes the ultimate goal of achieving life success.​​​

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Negative Influences

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On a day-to-day basis, we come in contact with a variety of people who influence us in one way or another. These influences, whether good or bad, affect the way we behave over a period of time. In fact, a person's brief or long-term exposure to both negative influences and situations serves as the catalyst in behavior transformation. When negativity becomes the constant variable in a person's life, they begin to see this as the norm and, as a result, forge negative friendships. These friendships become a constant variable in life's equation. Removing these variables can be complicated. Once negative influences become embedded within the parameters of a person's personality, a redirection of influence must be considered. This means that, over time, counterbalancing the negative with positive influence can change a person's ultimate direction. For example, a teen who perceives negative behavior as a popular trait amongst his peers will begin to act out in a negative way. The friend not only became the catalyst in the teen's life but a constant variable, which gains strength over time.

In the early years of life, negative influence can be much more destructive to a child's positive growth as they are unable to distinguish between negative and positive reinforcement. For example, a parent with a negative disposition that shares their own negative feelings and biases with their child will begin to set negative variables, therefore slowly developing negative behavior.

CHAPTER 1 - PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

The crossroads in life that we are all doomed to face someday is familiar to a young man pushing through adversity like myself. In those instances, you may embark upon the path paved by bad influences, whether they are led by acquaintances, friends, or even family members. This is a decision that undoubtedly takes courage and will be enacted. As you make your way down this road, it can only lead to disaster. All because you have chosen to surround yourself with poor influences who aren't receptive to what you've wanted to accomplish in life. The view of wreckage along this route will show you how far people are willing to go when they have poor morals and lack guidance from those with common sense and care enough to steer them on the right path. Only now do I see it clearly; if someone offered me another chance at this early part of my life, I wouldn't sacrifice it for any monetary value. Anyone could fall into this trap, friend, or foe.

Some will receive the privilege of stepping back out of line and returning to the fork in the road. However, this will be a dangerous journey, traveling through your past mistakes and all that have tailgated you to this point in life. Although you have restarted, the other path will be challenging to merge. You will be battling with other hard-working, high achievers to arrive at