Ask AI's Advice

By Gini Graham Scott

            ASK AI's ADVICE: Advice from AI for Real Problems from Real People and a Game of Giving Advice for Real Problems combines the power of ASK AI: An Advice Column with Real Advice and   ASK AI: The Game: A Game of Giving Advice for Real Problems.

           Part I features advice to 70 questions posed to AI about different kinds of problems, much like an advice columnist might make suggestions and recommendations about what to do.  The problems deal with relationships, marriage, family problems, problems with friends, and work, business, and consumer issues.  A team of counselors, therapists, life coaches, and psychologists have been contacted as advisers, and the consensus is that AI really does give good advice, and that its advice can be used as a supplement for counseling with a client.

           Part II features a game for 3 to 12 players based on the same questions in the book.  Players take turns reading those questions and giving their own advice. Then other players vote on who has given the best advice, and later players can see AI's advice for each question. 

 

       GINI GRAHAM SCOTT, Ph.D., J.D., is a nationally known writer, consultant, speaker, and seminar leader, specializing in business and work relationships, professional and personal development, social trends, popular culture, science, crime, and children's picture books. She has published over 50 books with major publishers. She has worked with hundreds of clients on memoirs, self-help, business books, and screenplays.

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. Michael Publishing
• Release date: Aug 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223264842

Book preview

ASK AI’s ADVICE:

Advice from AI for Real Problems from Real People and a Game of Giving Advice for Real Problems

A New Book that Combines ASK AI: An Advice Column

with Real Advice for Real Problems of Real People and

ASK AI: The Game: A Game of Giving Advice for Real Problems

by Gini Graham Scott, PhD

Author and Expert on Using AI

for Writing and Illustrations

with the Assistance of Psychologists,

Therapists, and Counselors,

including Christina Dalton

Certified Life Coach

Published by

J. Michael Publishing

Brentwood, California

ASK AI’S ADVICE

Copyright © 2023 by Gini Graham Scott

All rights reserved.  No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

PART I: ASK AI – THE BOOK

OVERVIEW

CHAPTER 1: RELATIONSHIPS

Dating Men Who Want Sex Too Soon

Relationship with a Married Man

Have a Friendship but Want Love

Differing Opinions about Homosexuality with Fiancé

Concern about Daughter’s Controlling Relationship

What to Do If Boyfriend Still Communicating with Ex

Fears about Leaving a Partner

Feeling Upset Because Ring Got Changed

Deciding What to Do When a Long-Time Partner Doesn’t Want to Get Married

What to Do When a Boyfriend Spends More Time with Friends

Healing from a Broken Heart after a Breakup

Deciding How to Change a Relationship and Not Hurt a Partner’s Feelings

Concerns about a Partner’s Lies about Breaking Up with His Former Girlfriend

Plans to Move but Boyfriend No Longer Wants to Go

Dealing with a Very Jealous and Controlling Boyfriend

Resisting Giving a Girl a Ring After Having a Child Together

Deciding What to Do When a Boyfriend Like to See Thin Women Online

What to Do When Partner Has Other Interests

Upset about a Partner’s Actions at a Family Party

Learning a Partner Lied About a Felony Past

Deciding Whether to Leave a Relationship After Seeing Some Red Flags

Deciding on Whether to Remain in a Friends with Benefits Arrangement or Move On

Deciding What to Do about a New Boyfriend Who Has Recently Become Controlling

Dealing with an Imprisoned Boyfriend Who Has Become Nasty After Having a Child Together

Worried about an Online Boyfriend Who Suddenly Stopped Communicating Online a Few Days Ago

Cancelling a Wedding After Discovering a Fiancé’s Affair

What to Do When a Man Hides a Relationship After a Divorce

Deciding What to Do about a Relationship with a Man with Mental Health Issues

What to Do About a Relationship with a Man Who Keeps Promising to Get Divorced But Doesn’t

Deciding Whether to Express Love for a Long-Time Love When You Both Are in Unsatisfying Relationships

Deciding What to Do When an Ex-Boyfriend Visits a Dog and the New Boyfriend Objects

CHAPTER 2: MARRIAGE

Deciding on Whether to Continue the Marriage or Not

What to Do If Husband Is Cheating

Bored in Relationship, but Have a Child

Problem in Communicating with Inquisitive Spouse

Difficulty in Protecting Son in a Relationship with Ex-Husband

What to Do about Retired Husband

Whether to Cancel Old Agreement with Husband

Deciding Whether to Stay with a Husband in Prison

Deciding on Custody of the Kids and Money in a Divorce

Deciding What to Do About Getting a Divorce or Not

Dealing with a Husband Who Won’t Talk After a Fight

Dealing with a Problem about Spending and Finances

Deciding Whether to Divorce a Husband Who Is No Longer Interested in Sex

Deciding What to Do when a Husband Has an Online Relationship with a Distant Cousin

Getting Over Images of the Other Man after Infidelity

Feeling Anxious about Living with Husband after Living in Separate Houses

What to Do After No Longer Wanting Intimacy with Husband

Dealing with a Difficult Family Situation After a Father Has Disinherited a Woman’s Husband

What to Do When She Wants to Be Alone on Weekends and He Wants to Go on Day or Overnight Trips

Trying to Exercise but Husband Objects

Deciding What to Do about a Disinterested Husband After Exploring Independent Paths to Personal Growth

CHAPTER 3: FAMILY PROBLEMS

Pressure to Support a Problem Family Member Running for Office

Dealing with a Difficult Mother-in-Law

Handling Religious Differences with Parents about Raising a Child

Feeling Uncomfortable about Husband’s Mother and Sister Taking Unwanted Photos and Posting Them

Finding a Way to Repair Relationships with a Daughter and Continue to See a Grandson

Deciding What to Tell a Friend Seeking a Divorce from a Husband with a Porn Addiction

What to Do about a Relationship Where a Boyfriend Spends Nights at His Mother’s House

Deciding How to Help a Gay Teenage Nephew with a Homophobic Father

Deciding What to Do When Fundamentalist Christian Parents Don’t Accept Their Son’s Gay Marriage

CHAPTER 4: FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS

Deciding Whether to Remain in a Friendship

Deciding Whether It’s Okay to Not Invite a Disruptive Friend to a Wedding and What to Tell Him

Deciding What to Do about a Friend’s Behavior When Drunk

Deciding How to Deal with a Friend’s Obnoxious Boyfriend

Deciding What to Do After a Friend Describes Engaging in a Tax Scheme to Get Financial Aid for Her Son’s College Education

CHAPTER 5: WORK, BUSINESS, AND CONSUMER ISSUES

Deciding Whether to Refer a Former Co-Worker After His Attitudes Make One Uncomfortable

Dealing with Overcharging by a Plumbing Company

Dealing with Changes in a Friendship After a Long-Time Friend Gets Promoted Where You Work

PART II:  ASK AI – THE GAME

AN INTRODUCTION TO THE ASK AI GAME

HOW ASK AI WAS DEVELOPED

AI’S ADVICE

CHAPTER 6: RELATIONSHIPS

Dating Again and Concerned Men Just Want Sex

Relationship with a Married Man

Have a Friendship but Want Love

Differing Opinions about Homosexuality with Fiancé

Concern about Daughter’s Controlling Relationship

What to Do If Boyfriend Still Communicating with Ex

Fears about Leaving a Partner

Feeling Upset Because Ring Got Changed

Deciding What to Do When a Long-Time Partner Doesn’t Want to Get Married

What to Do When a Boyfriend Spends More Time with Friends

Healing from a Broken Heart after a Breakup

Deciding How to Change a Relationship and Not Hurt a Partner’s Feelings

Concerns about a Partner’s Lies about Breaking Up with His Former Girlfriend

Plans to Move but Boyfriend No Longer Wants to Go

Dealing with a Very Jealous and Controlling Boyfriend

Resisting Giving a Girl a Ring After Having a Child Together

Deciding What to Do When a Boyfriend Like to See Thin Women Online

What to Do When Partner Has Other Interests

Upset about a Partner’s Actions at a Family Party

Learning a Partner Lied About a Felony Past

Deciding Whether to Leave a Relationship After Seeing Some Red Flags

Deciding on Whether to Remain in a Friends with Benefits Arrangement or Move On

Deciding What to Do about a New Boyfriend Who Has Recently Become Controlling

Dealing with an Imprisoned Boyfriend Who Has Become Nasty After Having a Child Together

Worried about an Online Boyfriend Who Suddenly Stopped Communicating Online a Few Days Ago

Cancelling a Wedding After Discovering a Fiancé’s Affair

What to Do When a Man Hides a Relationship After a Divorce

Deciding What to Do about a Relationship with a Man with Mental Health Issues

What to Do About a Relationship with a Man Who Keeps Promising to Get Divorced But Doesn’t

Deciding Whether to Express Love for a Long-Time Love When You Both Are in Unsatisfying Relationships

Deciding What to Do When an Ex-Boyfriend Visits a Dog and the New Boyfriend Objects

CHAPTER 7: MARRIAGE

Deciding on Whether to Continue the Marriage or Not

What to Do If Husband Is Cheating

Bored in Relationship, but Have a Child

Problem in Communicating with Inquisitive Spouse

Difficulty in Protecting Son in a Relationship with Ex-Husband

What to Do about Retired Husband

Whether to Cancel Old Agreement with Husband

Deciding Whether to Stay with a Husband in Prison

Deciding on Custody of the Kids and Money in a Divorce

Deciding What to Do About Getting a Divorce or Not

Dealing with a Husband Who Won’t Talk After a Fight

Dealing with a Problem about Spending and Finances

Deciding Whether to Divorce a Husband Who Is No Longer Interested in Sex

Deciding What to Do when a Husband Has an Online Relationship with a Distant Cousin

Getting Over Images of the Other Man after Infidelity

Feeling Anxious about Living with Husband after Living in Separate Houses

What to Do After No Longer Wanting Intimacy with Husband

Dealing with a Difficult Family Situation After a Father Has Disinherited a Woman’s Husband

What to Do When She Wants to Be Alone on Weekends and He Wants to Go on Day or Overnight Trips

Trying to Exercise but Husband Objects

Deciding What to Do about a Disinterested Husband After Exploring Independent Paths to Personal Growth

CHAPTER 8: FAMILY PROBLEMS

Pressure to Support a Problem Family Member Running for Office

Dealing with a Difficult Mother-in-Law

Handling Religious Differences with Parents about Raising a Child

Feeling Uncomfortable about Husband’s Mother and Sister Taking Unwanted Photos and Posting Them

Finding a Way to Repair Relationships with a Daughter and Continue to See a Grandson

Deciding What to Tell a Friend Seeking a Divorce from a Husband with a Porn Addiction

What to Do about a Relationship Where a Boyfriend Spends Nights at His Mother’s House

Deciding How to Help a Gay Teenage Nephew with a Homophobic Father

Deciding What to Do When Fundamentalist Christian Parents Don’t Accept Their Son’s Gay Marriage

CHAPTER 9: FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS

Deciding Whether to Remain in a Friendship

Deciding Whether It’s Okay to Not Invite a Disruptive Friend to a Wedding and What to Tell Him

Deciding What to Do about a Friend’s Behavior When Drunk

Deciding How to Deal with a Friend’s Obnoxious Boyfriend

Deciding What to Do After a Friend Describes Engaging in a Tax Scheme to Get Financial Aid for Her Son’s College Education

CHAPTER 10: WORK, BUSINESS, AND CONSUMER ISSUES

Deciding Whether to Refer a Former Co-Worker After His Attitudes Make One Uncomfortable

Dealing with Overcharging by a Plumbing Company

Dealing with Changes in a Friendship After a Long-Time Friend Gets Promoted Where You Work

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ABOUT THE THERAPISTS, COUNSELORS, AND ADVISORS

CONTACT INFORMATION

INTRODUCTION

Ask AI’s Advice represents two books in one: ASK AI: An Advice Column with Real Advice for Real Problems of Real People and ASK AI: The Game: A Game of Giving Advice for Real Problems.  As such, you can first read the problems about love, relationships, marriage, family problems, problems with friends, and work, business, and consumer issues and see AI’s answers.  Or you can start by playing the game with three to twelve players where you take turns reading the problems, giving opinions about what the person with the problem should do, and finally seeing what AI had to say about the problem.

In either case, Ais answers have been reviewed by counselors, therapists, life coaches, and psychologists who agree that AI gives good advice.

This is the first in a series of Ask AI’s Advice books featuring different problems and answers by AI plus a game you can play with these problems.

Then, should you have any questions or problems you want to ask AI about yourself, you can join the new Ask AI Counseling Service, and not only get answers from AI but connect with a counselor from the Counseling Service to get further advice and counseling from a real counselor.

Part I features the questions and ChatGPT4’s answers.  Part II features the game you can play with others based on these questions, and then after everyone’s gives their advice to each question and votes on the winner, you can look at AI’s answers for that question.

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PART I: ASK AI – THE BOOK

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OVERVIEW

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The idea for Ask AI began when I saw a March 23 article about AI therapy in the New York Times, after working with AI for writing and illustrations since November 2022. Also, I had produced a film on the subject: The AI Revolution, led a Facebook group The AI Revolution and Writers and Artists, and was a featured speaker on AI at various events, including the first TechBeat Conference for AI professionals in the field.  According to the Times article, a growing number of people are using conversations with AI to help them in their daily life, and they have gotten helpful advice. As Alyson Krueger wrote in this article, We Need to Talk: Just as Soon as I consult ChatGPT

Faced with challenging situations in parenting, romance or work, some are getting by with a little help from their A.I. friends...(They) are turning to artificial intelligence chat bots to figure out what to say in situations that feel high-stakes. They are using the tool to talk or read to their children, to provide difficult feedback, to write wedding vows, or to pen love letters.

In short, for some people, AI has become like a therapist to help people deal with everyday personal problems and provide them with advice.

Thus, the idea for Ask AI was born with three key questions:  What would happen if an AI chatbot was asked for advice like an advice columnist?  What kind of response would they get?  Would it be useful to deal with their problems?

Then, I invented a few questions to ask AI about anxiety.  The result was a conversation which provided some insightful comments. It went like this:

What do you recommend for someone suffering from fear and anxiety?

If you are suffering from fear and anxiety, here are some recommendations that may help:

Seek professional help: anxiety disorders are highly treatable, and a mental health professional can provide you with the right treatment plan, including therapy and medication.

Practice relaxation techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.

Exercise regularly: Physical activity has been shown to reduce anxiety and stress, so try to incorporate exercise into your routine.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle: Eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and reducing or avoiding alcohol and caffeine can help reduce anxiety.

Identify and challenge negative thoughts: Anxiety is often fueled by negative thoughts, so try to identify and challenge those thoughts when they arise.

Practice self-care: Taking time for yourself and engaging in activities that bring you joy can help reduce anxiety and promote well-being.

Remember, seeking help for anxiety is a sign of strength, not weakness. It's important to prioritize your mental health and well-being and take the steps necessary to address anxiety and fear.

If I'm feeling fearful and anxious about something, can I talk to you?

Of course, you are welcome to talk to me about your fears and anxieties. While I am just an AI language model and not a licensed mental health professional, I am here to provide support and offer guidance to the best of my ability. However, if you feel that you need more immediate or professional help, it is always best to seek out a licensed therapist or counselor who can offer specialized support and guidance.

What do you suggest I do to feel better if I'm worried about a relationship?

If you're worried about a relationship, here are some suggestions that may help you feel better:

Talk to your partner: Communication is key in any relationship. Try to express your concerns and feelings to your partner in a calm and respectful manner. It's important to listen to their perspective as well.

Practice self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Consider the source of your worries and try to identify any patterns or triggers that may be contributing to your anxiety.

Focus on the present: Instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, try to focus on the present moment. Enjoy the time you spend with your partner and appreciate the positive aspects of your relationship.

Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends.

Seek professional help: If your anxiety about the relationship is impacting your daily life and causing you significant distress, consider seeking the help of a licensed therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your worries and develop healthy coping strategies

Remember that it's normal to feel worried or anxious about relationships from time to time. With the right tools and support, you can work through your concerns and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.

What if I tried talking to my partner and tried self-reflection and care, but those didn't work. What do you suggest I do now.

If talking to your partner and practicing self-reflection and care haven't worked, here are some additional suggestions:

Consider couples’ therapy: Couples’ therapy can provide a safe and neutral space for you and your partner to explore your concerns and work through any issues in the relationship. A therapist can help you both communicate effectively and develop healthy strategies for managing conflict.

Set boundaries: If you feel that your partner's behavior is contributing to your anxiety, it's important to set clear boundaries. Communicate your needs and expectations and be willing to enforce consequences if those boundaries are not respected.

Take a break: If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it may be helpful to take a break or step back for a period of time. This can allow you to gain perspective and evaluate whether the relationship is ultimately healthy for you.

Seek individual therapy: If your anxiety is related to deeper issues or past trauma, it may be helpful to seek the help of a licensed therapist or counselor. They can provide you with the tools and support needed to work through these underlying issues and manage your anxiety.

The responses seemed perfectly reasonable, so I approached a life coach, Christina Dalton, who I collaborated with on a book about treating anxiety, since she regularly gives people advice about their life as a counselor and coach. What did she think about the quality of advice provided by ChatGPT?  She thought it was quite good, finding the advice was right on, much like advice she would give her own clients. As she told me, I found this was excellent advice – the kind of advice that I might provide if a client came to me with that problem.

Thus, I continued to develop the idea for Ask AI, with plans to have a team of counselors, life coaches, therapists, and psychologists as advisers to review the advice and make sure it continues to be good advice.

I began asking the people I knew to share problems they had or knew about and found problems that people reported in newspapers and online, though I took out any names and changed the details.  Then, I began asking ChatGPT what someone might do when facing these problems in their life.  I imagined that if ChatGPT was a columnist, what advice would they give someone with that problem?  Then, as I began to get advice from ChatGPT, I sought out the professional opinion of Christina Dalton and other counselors, coaches, and consultants who regularly gave advice to their clients. 

The result of these sources is Ask AI.  It is based on asking AI a series of questions raised by real people seeking advice about what to do in a challenging situation that I read about or learned about from others.  After I described each situation to ChapGPT4, available from Open AI, I recorded its responses. Later, I combined the results of two responses, since most GPT replies offer an opportunity to regenerate another response.

The book features the original question to AI and its advice divided into the major areas of concern – relationships, marriage, friendships, family conflicts, and work and business problems.  Commonly, AI draws on certain principles for having good relationships, furthering one’s own mental health, and supporting one’s values, much like a regular counselor might do.  For example, some recommendations are to have good communication, establish boundaries, understand the other person’s perspective, reflect on personal goals, consider different outcomes, engage in self-care, get advice from trusted third parties, and, if warranted, seek professional counseling.  But then these suggestions for making choices and taking action are adapted to the particular problem presented to AI for advice.

This is the first book in what will be a series featuring books of advice for individuals with different backgrounds and age groups asking AI for advice about different problems. Individuals nationally will be invited to submit their questions for advice. 

In addition, a syndicated column, Ask AI, is planned for online and print newspapers and magazines. It will feature questions and answers and will invite readers to submit their questions for advice from AI.  A reality show and game show based on AI giving advice is also planned. 

The book features chapters on the following topics:

Relationships

Marriage

Family Problems

Friendship Problems

Work, Business, and Consumer Issues

CHAPTER 1: RELATIONSHIPS

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Dating Men Who Want Sex Too Soon

Can you give me advice about what to do? I am in my 40s, and after being divorced for 5 years, I'm ready to date again. But it seems like all the men I date want to rush into having a sexual relationship, and no one seems to want to take the time to get to know someone. By the third date, the men not only expect sex, but consider it normal, and when I say it's too soon for me, I don't hear from them again. But if I do have sex, when the relationship ends after a few more dates, I feel cheap and compromised. So I'm not sure what to do. Are there any men who do want a serious relationship that isn't just about having sex? Please let me know what I can expect and what I should do.

It's understandable that you might be feeling frustrated and unsure about what to do in this situation. It's important to remember that everyone has their own pace and preferences when it comes to building relationships, and there are certainly men out there who are interested in serious relationships that aren't solely focused on sex. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate the dating scene:

Be clear about your intentions: When you start dating someone new, communicate your preferences and boundaries early on. Let them know that you're looking for a serious relationship and that you prefer to take things slowly. This will help you filter out people who aren't interested in the same things as you,

Choose the right platform: If you're using dating apps or websites, try to find platforms that cater to people looking for serious relationships. There are several dating sites that cater specifically to individuals interested in long-term relationships, which might help you connect with like-minded people.

Expand your social circle: Attend social events, join clubs or organizations, or participate in activities that interest you. This can help you meet new people who share your values and interests, increasing the chances of finding someone who's looking for a serious relationship.

Trust your instincts: Pay attention to your feelings and intuition when dating. If you sense that someone is only interested in sex, don't be afraid to end the relationship and move on.

Be patient: Finding a compatible partner can take time, so don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen right away. Keep putting yourself out there and be open to meeting new people.

Set boundaries: Be honest with yourself about what you're comfortable with and communicate those boundaries with potential partners. It's okay to let them know that you need more time before becoming intimate.

Look for like-minded individuals: Try to find potential partners who share your values and relationship goals. You can join clubs or groups, attend social events, or try online dating platforms that cater to those looking for serious relationships.

Seek support from friends and family: Share your experiences with those close to you, as they may be able to provide valuable advice and encouragement.

Consider professional help: If you're struggling with navigating the dating world or dealing with your emotions, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support.

Remember that it's important to prioritize your own needs and well-being when dating. You have the right to set boundaries and take things at your own pace. By being true to yourself and staying patient, you will eventually find someone who shares your values and is interested in building a genuine, long-lasting relationship.

In summary, it's essential to maintain your boundaries, be patient, and seek out like-minded individuals. You deserve a relationship that is built on mutual respect and understanding, and there are certainly men out there who share your desire for a deeper connection. Stay true to yourself and trust that the right person will come along.

Relationship with a Married Man

What advice can you give me?  I've been dating a married man for four years, and everything has been great. We were very close, and I thought we had a wonderful, special relationship. Two years ago his wife abandoned him and his two young children. Since he didn't know anything about raising kids, I stepped in and treated the kids like my own. He even spoke to a lawyer about getting a divorce. But suddenly he said he is letting his wife come back since she has nowhere to go, and now he isn't getting a divorce. I don't understand why. I wonder if I should wait for him, or if he really loved me. What do you suggest I should do?

I'm not a therapist or relationship expert, but I can try to offer some general advice. It's important to remember that every situation is unique, and ultimately, the decision is yours to make. Here are some points to consider:

Reflect on your needs and values: Take a moment to think about what you truly want and need in a relationship. Is being with someone who is married in alignment with your values? What are your boundaries, and are they being respected?

Communication: Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. Share your feelings and concerns with him and ask for clarification about his decision. This can help you better understand his perspective and may provide insights into the future of your relationship.

Emotional wellbeing: Prioritize your emotional wellbeing and consider whether this relationship is contributing positively or negatively to your life. Remember that you deserve a fulfilling relationship where your feelings and needs are respected.

Consider professional support: Speaking with a therapist or counselor can help you navigate complex emotions and provide guidance on making the best decision for yourself.

Prepare for potential outcomes: Regardless of whether you decide to wait or move on, it's important to emotionally prepare yourself for different outcomes. Remember that you can't control other people's actions, and it's essential to prioritize your own happiness and wellbeing.

Ultimately, the decision to wait or move on is a personal one, and it's essential to consider your feelings, needs, and values when making your choice.

Have a Friendship but Want Love

What advice can you give me about what I should do? A year ago I met a man I hired to do some carpentry work to help set up my studio since I work as an artist, and we became very close friends. We spend our free time together doing many things we both love—going on hikes, going to art galleries, and we regularly talk on the phone, sometimes for several hours. We are both divorced now, and we both have children. I'm 40 and he is about 10 years older than me. Though he was married for 15 years, he hasn't been in a relationship since then. Though I kissed him a month ago and he hesitantly kissed me back, he said he didn't want to ruin the friendship we had. Though I felt hurt, we continued to be friends like nothing happened. Though he has told me I'm beautiful and given me other compliments, I wish we had more than a friendship, but I am afraid of trying to make our relationship romantic. I wonder if I should end the relationship and stop seeing him, but I feel I would miss losing my best friend and I feel he would be hurt, too. But am I letting him string me along? I'm not sure what to do. I feel I'm losing whether I stay in the relationship as is or break up. What do you advise that I do?

It's natural to feel confused and concerned in such a situation. Here's some advice to help you navigate your feelings and relationship:

Reflect on your feelings and priorities: Take some time to think about what you truly want from this relationship. Are you looking for a long-term romantic partner, or is the friendship you share with him fulfilling enough? It's essential to understand your needs and desires to make the right decision.

Communicate openly: One of the most important aspects of any relationship is open and honest communication. Share your feelings with him, letting him know how much you value the friendship and that you also have romantic feelings for him. It's important for both of you to be on the same page and understand each other's perspective.

Respect his feelings: It's important to respect your friend's feelings and boundaries, just as you would want him to respect yours. He may need time to process his emotions or may not be ready for a romantic relationship at this time.

Consider the risks: Be aware of the potential risks involved in changing the dynamic of your friendship. It's possible that pursuing a romantic relationship could affect your friendship, but it could also strengthen your bond. Weigh the pros and cons before making a decision.

Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a professional counselor for additional guidance and support. They can provide valuable insights and help you process your feelings.

Take your time: There's no need to rush into a decision or force a change in the relationship. Give yourself and your friend time to process your feelings and consider the best course of action.

Give him time: It's possible that he may need some time to process his feelings and consider what he wants. Since he has not been in a relationship since his divorce, he may be hesitant or unsure about entering a new romantic relationship. Be patient and give him the space he needs to figure things out.

Set boundaries: If you decide that you cannot continue the friendship as it is, be clear about your boundaries and what you need in order to move forward. This might mean taking a step back from the friendship to focus on your own emotional well-being.

Be prepared for any outcome: Understand that there are no guarantees in relationships and that sometimes, despite our best efforts, things may not work out as we hope. Be prepared to accept whatever the outcome may be and know that you will be okay, regardless of the result.

Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and it's essential to consider your own feelings and well-being. It's okay to prioritize yourself and your happiness, and whatever choice you make, you deserve a relationship that fulfills you both emotionally and romantically. However, open reflection, communication, and understanding the risks involved can help you make a more informed choice.

Differing Opinions about Homosexuality with Fiancé

What advice can you give me about what to do? I have been engaged to my fiancé for about five years, and a year ago, my fiancé told me he didn't think homosexuality was normal or right. I was surprised, because he never said this before, and he didn't show anything in his behavior to show he felt this way. That's because we both have gay friends and relatives, and we even went to some Pride celebrations. So now we have had some arguments about how to raise our children, because he doesn't want our children to be influenced by gay people on TV, in the movies, or in the news, but he would accept their choice after they are 18. In my view, I feel people should accept what others feel are their true selves, and I would like to teach my children to accept others in this way. I have tried to tell my fiancé that there is nothing wrong with gay people, but he won't change his mind. Plus his father has a similar point of view. I'm not sure what to do. I love my fiancé, but now I'm wondering if I should accept our differences or not get married because our differences are too great. Or is there some way to compromise about our differences of opinion on this issue? What do you suggest I do?

It's important to acknowledge that this is a complex and sensitive issue. Communication and understanding are key to resolving these issues. The ultimate decision is up to you. However, I can provide some advice to help you work through your concerns and decide what to do. Here are a few suggestions on how to approach the situation:

Communication: It's essential to have open, honest, and respectful conversations with your fiancé about your differing views on homosexuality. You may want to consider discussing the reasons behind his beliefs, and whether there is any room for change or compromise.

Engage in open and honest conversations: Set aside time to have a calm and respectful discussion with your fiancé about your differing perspectives. Share your thoughts and feelings about homosexuality and your reasons for wanting to raise your children with an open-minded approach. Encourage him to express his thoughts and feelings as well.

Empathy: Try to understand your fiance's perspective and the factors that may have influenced his opinion on this matter. This doesn't mean you have to agree with him, but understanding where he's coming from might help you find common ground.

Education: Share information with your fiance about the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals, the importance of acceptance and support, and the potential consequences of prejudice and discrimination. Sometimes people hold onto beliefs due to a lack of understanding or exposure to diverse perspectives. Encourage your fiancé to explore different viewpoints and engage with resources that may help him better understand the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals. Providing resources and encouraging him to educate himself further might help change his perspective.

Counseling: It might be helpful to attend couples counseling or pre-marital counseling to work through your differences and find a solution that works for both of you. A professional therapist can provide guidance and facilitate productive conversations. A professional counselor or therapist can help facilitate communication and help you both better understand each other's perspectives.

Evaluate your values and compatibility: Take some time to reflect on your values and priorities in a relationship. Consider how important it is for you and your fiancé to align on this issue and how it may impact your future together. If, after thoughtful discussion and effort, your fiancé remains steadfast in his beliefs, it's essential to evaluate the compatibility of your relationship Consider whether you can accept these differences or if they will cause too much tension in your relationship and the upbringing of your children. Consider whether your differing views on homosexuality are a deal-breaker for your relationship. It's essential to have a partner who shares your values and beliefs, especially when it comes to raising children. Reflect on whether this difference in opinion is something you can accept and work through, or if it's a fundamental incompatibility.

Consider the future: Think about how your fiancé’s views might impact your future children and