Ask AI

By Gini Graham Scott

ASK AI: An Advice Column with Real Advice for Real Problems of Real People with Answers by AI features advice to 70 questions posed to AI about different kinds of problems, much like an advice columnist might make suggestions and recommendations about what to do.  The problems deal with relationships, marriage, family problems, problems with friends, and work, business, and consumer issues.  A team of counselors, therapists, life coaches, and psychologists have been contacted as advisers, and the consensus is that AI really does give good advice, and that its advice can be used a supplement for counseling with a client.

Readers can enjoy just reading about others' problems and learning the advice AI gives, and they can find such advice can be applied in their own life.

ASK AI is the first in a series of AI advice books.  The book is also providing the basis for a film/TV series and documentary, and for a unique new counseling program incorporating AI's advice.

 

GINI GRAHAM SCOTT, Ph.D., J.D., is a nationally known writer, consultant, speaker, and seminar leader, specializing in business and work relationships, professional and personal development, social trends, popular culture, science, crime, and children's picture books. She has published over 50 books with major publishers. She has worked with hundreds of clients on memoirs, self-help, business books, and screenplays.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Pluff
• Release date: Jul 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223838678

Book preview

ASK AI

––––––––

An Advice Column with Real Advice for Real Problems of Real People with Answers by AI

by Gini Graham Scott, PhD

Author and Expert on Using AI

for Writing and Illustrations

with the Assistance of Psychologists,

Therapists, and Counselors,

including Christina Dalton

Certified Life Coach

Published by

J. Michael Publishing

Brentwood, California

ASK AI

Copyright © 2023 by Gini Graham Scott

All rights reserved.  No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

OVERVIEW

CHAPTER 1: RELATIONSHIPS

Dating Men Who Want Sex Too Soon

Relationship with a Married Man

Have a Friendship but Want Love

Differing Opinions about Homosexuality with Fiancé

Concern about Daughter’s Controlling Relationship

What to Do If Boyfriend Still Communicating with Ex

Fears about Leaving a Partner

Feeling Upset Because Ring Got Changed

Deciding What to Do When a Long-Time Partner Doesn’t Want to Get Married

What to Do When a Boyfriend Spends More Time with Friends

Healing from a Broken Heart after a Breakup

Deciding How to Change a Relationship and Not Hurt a Partner’s Feelings

Concerns about a Partner’s Lies about Breaking Up with His Former Girlfriend

Plans to Move but Boyfriend No Longer Wants to Go

Dealing with a Very Jealous and Controlling Boyfriend

Resisting Giving a Girl a Ring After Having a Child Together

Deciding What to Do When a Boyfriend Like to See Thin Women Online

What to Do When Partner Has Other Interests

Upset about a Partner’s Actions at a Family Party

Learning a Partner Lied About a Felony Past

Deciding Whether to Leave a Relationship After Seeing Some Red Flags

Deciding on Whether to Remain in a Friends with Benefits Arrangement or Move On

Deciding What to Do about a New Boyfriend Who Has Recently Become Controlling

Dealing with an Imprisoned Boyfriend Who Has Become Nasty After Having a Child Together

Worried about an Online Boyfriend Who Suddenly Stopped Communicating Online a Few Days Ago

Cancelling a Wedding After Discovering a Fiancé’s Affair

What to Do When a Man Hides a Relationship After a Divorce

Deciding What to Do about a Relationship with a Man with Mental Health Issues

What to Do About a Relationship with a Man Who Keeps Promising to Get Divorced But Doesn’t

Deciding Whether to Express Love for a Long-Time Love When You Both Are in Unsatisfying Relationships

Deciding What to Do When an Ex-Boyfriend Visits a Dog and the New Boyfriend Objects

CHAPTER 3: MARRIAGE

Deciding on Whether to Continue the Marriage or Not

What to Do If Husband Is Cheating

Bored in Relationship, but Have a Child

Problem in Communicating with Inquisitive Spouse

Difficulty in Protecting Son in a Relationship with Ex-Husband

What to Do about Retired Husband

Whether to Cancel Old Agreement with Husband

Deciding Whether to Stay with a Husband in Prison

Deciding on Custody of the Kids and Money in a Divorce

Deciding What to Do About Getting a Divorce or Not

Dealing with a Husband Who Won’t Talk After a Fight

Dealing with a Problem about Spending and Finances

Deciding Whether to Divorce a Husband Who Is No Longer Interested in Sex

Deciding What to Do when a Husband Has an Online Relationship with a Distant Cousin

Getting Over Images of the Other Man after Infidelity

Feeling Anxious about Living with Husband after Living in Separate Houses

What to Do After No Longer Wanting Intimacy with Husband

Dealing with a Difficult Family Situation After a Father Has Disinherited a Woman’s Husband

What to Do When She Wants to Be Alone on Weekends and He Wants to Go on Day or Overnight Trips

Trying to Exercise but Husband Objects

Deciding What to Do about a Disinterested Husband After Exploring Independent Paths to Personal Growth

CHAPTER 4: FAMILY PROBLEMS

Pressure to Support a Problem Family Member Running for Office

Dealing with a Difficult Mother-in-Law

Handling Religious Differences with Parents about Raising a Child

Feeling Uncomfortable about Husband’s Mother and Sister Taking Unwanted Photos and Posting Them

Finding a Way to Repair Relationships with a Daughter and Continue to See a Grandson

Deciding What to Tell a Friend Seeking a Divorce from a Husband with a Porn Addiction

What to Do about a Relationship Where a Boyfriend Spends Nights at His Mother’s House

Deciding How to Help a Gay Teenage Nephew with a Homophobic Father

Deciding What to Do When Fundamentalist Christian Parents Don’t Accept Their Son’s Gay Marriage

CHAPTER 5: FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS

Deciding Whether to Remain in a Friendship

Deciding Whether It’s Okay to Not Invite a Disruptive Friend to a Wedding and What to Tell Him

Deciding What to Do about a Friend’s Behavior When Drunk

Deciding How to Deal with a Friend’s Obnoxious Boyfriend

Deciding What to Do After a Friend Describes Engaging in a Tax Scheme to Get Financial Aid for Her Son’s College Education

CHAPTER 6: WORK, BUSINESS, AND CONSUMER ISSUES

Deciding Whether to Refer a Former Co-Worker After His Attitudes Make One Uncomfortable

Dealing with Overcharging by a Plumbing Company

Dealing with Changes in a Friendship After a Long-Time Friend Gets Promoted Where You Work

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ABOUT THE THERAPISTS, COUNSELORS, AND ADVISORS

CONTACT INFORMATION

OVERVIEW

The idea for Ask AI began when I saw a March 23 article about AI therapy in the New York Times, after working with AI for writing and illustrations since November 2022. Also, I had produced a film on the subject: The AI Revolution, led a Facebook group The AI Revolution and Writers and Artists, and was a featured speaker on AI at various events, including the first TechBeat Conference for AI professionals in the field.  According to the Times article, a growing number of people are using conversations with AI to help them in their daily life, and they have gotten helpful advice. As Alyson Krueger wrote in this article, We Need to Talk: Just as Soon as I consult ChatGPT

Faced with challenging situations in parenting, romance or work, some are getting by with a little help from their A.I. friends...(They) are turning to artificial intelligence chat bots to figure out what to say in situations that feel high-stakes. They are using the tool to talk or read to their children, to provide difficult feedback, to write wedding vows, or to pen love letters.

In short, for some people, AI has become like a therapist to help people deal with everyday personal problems and provide them with advice.

Thus, the idea for Ask AI was born with three key questions:  What would happen if an AI chatbot was asked for advice like an advice columnist?  What kind of response would they get?  Would it be useful to deal with their problems?

Then, I invented a few questions to ask AI about anxiety.  The result was a conversation which provided some insightful comments. It went like this:

––––––––

What do you recommend for someone suffering from fear and anxiety?

If you are suffering from fear and anxiety, here are some recommendations that may help:

Seek professional help: anxiety disorders are highly treatable, and a mental health professional can provide you with the right treatment plan, including therapy and medication.

Practice relaxation techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.

Exercise regularly: Physical activity has been shown to reduce anxiety and stress, so try to incorporate exercise into your routine.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle: Eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and reducing or avoiding alcohol and caffeine can help reduce anxiety.

Identify and challenge negative thoughts: Anxiety is often fueled by negative thoughts, so try to identify and challenge those thoughts when they arise.

Practice self-care: Taking time for yourself and engaging in activities that bring you joy can help reduce anxiety and promote well-being.

Remember, seeking help for anxiety is a sign of strength, not weakness. It's important to prioritize your mental health and well-being and take the steps necessary to address anxiety and fear.

If I'm feeling fearful and anxious about something, can I talk to you?

Of course, you are welcome to talk to me about your fears and anxieties. While I am just an AI language model and not a licensed mental health professional, I am here to provide support and offer guidance to the best of my ability. However, if you feel that you need more immediate or professional help, it is always best to seek out a licensed therapist or counselor who can offer specialized support and guidance.

What do you suggest I do to feel better if I'm worried about a relationship?

If you're worried about a relationship, here are some suggestions that may help you feel better:

Talk to your partner: Communication is key in any relationship. Try to express your concerns and feelings to your partner in a calm and respectful manner. It's important to listen to their perspective as well.

Practice self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Consider the source of your worries and try to identify any patterns or triggers that may be contributing to your anxiety.

Focus on the present: Instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, try to focus on the present moment. Enjoy the time you spend with your partner and appreciate the positive aspects of your relationship.

Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends.

Seek professional help: If your anxiety about the relationship is impacting your daily life and causing you significant distress, consider seeking the help of a licensed therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your worries and develop healthy coping strategies

Remember that it's normal to feel worried or anxious about relationships from time to time. With the right tools and support, you can work through your concerns and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.

What if I tried talking to my partner and tried self-reflection and care, but those didn't work. What do you suggest I do now.

If talking to your partner and practicing self-reflection and care haven't worked, here are some additional suggestions:

Consider couples’ therapy: Couples’ therapy can provide a safe and neutral space for you and your partner to explore your concerns and work through any issues in the relationship. A therapist can help you both communicate effectively and develop healthy strategies for managing conflict.

Set boundaries: If you feel that your partner's behavior is contributing to your anxiety, it's important to set clear boundaries. Communicate your needs and expectations and be willing to enforce consequences if those boundaries are not respected.

Take a break: If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it may be helpful to take a break or step back for a period of time. This can allow you to gain perspective and evaluate whether the relationship is ultimately healthy for you.

Seek individual therapy: If your anxiety is related to deeper issues or past trauma, it may be helpful to seek the help of a licensed therapist or counselor. They can provide you with the tools and support needed to work through these underlying issues and manage your anxiety.

The responses seemed perfectly reasonable, so I approached a life coach, Christina Dalton, who I collaborated with on a book about treating anxiety, since she regularly gives people advice about their life as a counselor and coach. What did she think about the quality of advice provided by ChatGPT?  She thought it was quite good, finding the advice was right on, much like advice she would give her own clients. As she told me, I found this was excellent advice – the kind of advice that I might provide if a client came to me with that problem.

Thus, I continued to develop the idea for Ask AI, with plans to have a team of counselors, life coaches, therapists, and psychologists as advisers to review the advice and make sure it continues to be good advice.

I began asking the people I knew to share problems they had or knew about and found problems that people reported in newspapers and online, though I took out any names and changed the details.  Then, I began asking ChatGPT what someone might do when facing these problems in their life.  I imagined that if ChatGPT was a columnist, what advice would they give someone with that problem?  Then, as I began to get advice from ChatGPT, I sought out the professional opinion of Christina Dalton and other counselors, coaches, and consultants who regularly gave advice to their clients. 

The result of these sources is Ask AI.  It is based on asking AI a series of questions raised by real people seeking advice about what to do in a challenging situation that I read about or learned about from others.  After I described each situation to ChapGPT4, available from Open AI, I recorded its responses. Later, I combined the results of two responses, since most GPT replies offer an opportunity to regenerate another response.

The book features the original question to AI and its advice divided into the major areas of concern – relationships, marriage, friendships, family conflicts, and work and business problems.  Commonly, AI draws on certain principles for having good relationships, furthering one’s own mental health, and supporting one’s values, much like a regular counselor might do.  For example, some recommendations are to have good communication, establish boundaries, understand the other person’s perspective, reflect on personal goals, consider different outcomes, engage in self-care, get advice from trusted third parties, and, if warranted, seek professional counseling.  But then these suggestions for making choices and taking action are adapted to the particular problem presented to AI for advice.

This is the first book in what will be a series featuring books of advice for individuals with different backgrounds and age groups asking AI for advice about different problems. Individuals nationally will be invited to submit their questions for advice. 

In addition, a syndicated column, Ask AI, is planned for online and print newspapers and magazines. It will feature questions and answers and will invite readers to submit their questions for advice from AI.  A reality show and game show based on AI giving advice is also planned.  

The book features chapters on the following topics:

Relationships

Marriage

Family Problems

Friendship Problems

Work, Business, and Consumer Issues

CHAPTER 1: RELATIONSHIPS

Dating Men Who Want Sex Too Soon

Can you give me advice about what to do? I am in my 40s, and after being divorced for 5 years, I'm ready to date again. But it seems like all the men I date want to rush into having a sexual relationship, and no one seems to want to take the time to get to know someone. By the third date, the men not only expect sex, but consider it normal, and when I say it's too soon for me, I don't hear from them again. But if I do have sex, when the relationship ends after a few more dates, I feel cheap and compromised. So I'm not sure what to do. Are there any men who do want a serious relationship that isn't just about having sex? Please let me know what I can expect and what I should do.

It's understandable that you might be feeling frustrated and unsure about what to do in this situation. It's important to remember that everyone has their own pace and preferences when it comes to building relationships, and there are certainly men out there who are interested in serious relationships that aren't solely focused on sex. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate the dating scene:

Be clear about your intentions: When you start dating someone new, communicate your preferences and boundaries early on. Let them know that you're looking for a serious relationship and that you prefer to take things slowly. This will help you filter out people who aren't interested in the same things as you,

Choose the right platform: If you're using dating apps or websites, try to find platforms that cater to people looking for serious relationships. There are several dating sites that cater specifically to individuals interested in long-term relationships, which might help you connect with like-minded people.

Expand your social circle: Attend social events, join clubs or organizations, or participate in activities that interest you. This can help you meet new people who share your values and interests, increasing the chances of finding someone who's looking for a serious relationship.

Trust your instincts: Pay attention to your feelings and intuition when dating. If you sense that someone is only interested in sex, don't be afraid to end the relationship and move on.

Be patient: Finding a compatible partner can take time, so don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen right away. Keep putting yourself out there and be open to meeting new people.

Set boundaries: Be honest with yourself about what you're comfortable with and communicate those boundaries with potential partners. It's okay to let them know that you need more time before becoming intimate.

Look for like-minded individuals: Try to find potential partners who share your values and relationship goals. You can join clubs or groups, attend social events, or try online dating platforms that cater to those looking for serious relationships.

Seek support from friends and family: Share your experiences with those close to you, as they may be able to provide valuable advice and encouragement.

Consider professional help: If you're struggling with navigating the dating world or dealing with your emotions, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support.

Remember that it's important to prioritize your own needs and well-being when dating. You have the right to set boundaries and take things at your own pace. By being true to yourself and staying patient, you will eventually find someone who shares your values and