How Not to Get Divorced: But Have a Happy Marriage

By Lord Ronald Victor Alan Streeter

This book is very personal. Lord Ronald exposes many of the problems he has encountered in his life. With this experience, he will give you the knowledge and understanding to help you in your marriage.

But the book covers more than marriage; it deals with problems in dating, engagement, getting married, dealing with the in-laws, and having children. All his advice is sound and practical. No exotic ideas—just plain sense. So if you have any challenges in your personal life, this is the book for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Jun 12, 2019
• ISBN: 9781489722553

Lord Ronald Victor Alan Streeter

Lord Ronald has been a relationship/business coach for over 30 years and has also been married 3 times so has the experience to tell you about the pitfalls of relationships in particular marriages. He has run his own training company for 15 years before he retired and was very successful in getting his students to achieve great results. Now he spends a lot of time counselling people of all ages to achieve more than they though they could.

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Copyright © 2019 Lord Ronald Victor Alan Streeter.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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ISBN: 978-1-4897-2254-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2255-3 (e)

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 04/19/2019

Contents

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1    Purpose of Marriage

Marriage Definition.

Why do people get married?

Legal.

Social.

Libidinal.

Emotional.

Financial.

Spiritual.

Religious purposes.

Whom they marry may be influenced by:

Gender.

Socially determined rules of incest.

Prescriptive marriage rules.

Parental choice.

Individual desire.

Chapter 2    Other Types of Union

Introduction.

Should we have a Religious ceremony or tribal rites?

Same-sex marriage.

Arranged marriage.

Child marriage.

Polygamy.

Forced marriage.

Conclusion.

Chapter 3    Documentation

Introduction.

Marriage Certificate.

Reasons for Getting Married.

Civil Marriage.

Religious Marriage.

Chapter 4    Marriage Statistics

Here’s What the Divorce Rate Actually Means.

Introduction.

Age.

Education Level.

Location.

Race.

Children.

Religion.

Mental Health.

Your Parents’ Marital Status.

Interesting statistics (2014 in the USA).

Divorce or Separation.

Chapter 5    Dating

Introduction.

Be a Better You.

Accept Your Flaws.

Don’t Hang onto Negative Feelings and Memories.

Think about this:

Avoid Looking Desperate, Don’t Go Chasing.

Why Is It So Bad to Chase Someone?

What to watch out for.

Some things to watch out for:

A Rejection Isn’t Always About You.

Stages of dating.

Spend Time Grooming Yourself.

Be Attractive with Body Language and Manners.

How far? How soon?

Living together or marriage?

Chapter 6    Stages of Marriage

Introduction.

The Honeymoon.

Back Home.

Building Relationship.

The Other Family.

How to Holiday?

Children or not, when?

Empty nest.

Chapter 7    Communications

The Number One Reason Why Marriages Fail.

Communicate in a Positive Way.

Keep secret what you say to each other.

Give Praise.

Do not criticize.

Work Together.

Tell them you love them often.

Chapter 8    Relationship

Definition.

Types of Relationship.

Family.

School days.

Developing a Relationship.

Friends or Lovers?

Healthy Relationships.

Chapter 9    Intimacy

Sex is not Intimacy.

Sex is more than just a physical act.

Real intimacy is not just two bodies coming together in sex.

Sex is just a medium of intimacy.

Sex too soon in a relationship is not good for a relationship.

Real intimacy is more than sex.

Initial excitement will fade at some point in time.

When does the love stop?

What to Do Before Having Sex.

Set the scene.

Give hints at sex long before you have it.

Stash lube by your bedside.

Consider the details.

Stimulate your brain.

Make a to-do list and then put it away.

Do one thing that makes you feel sexier.

Take a few deep breaths.

Start off slow.

Chapter 10    Money

Introduction.

Who pays what?

A Budget.

A Solution.

Saving or Spending?

Emergency fund.

Holidays etc.

Retirement.

Chapter 11    Bodily Image

Introduction.

Body Image.

Chapter 12    Unrealistic expectations

Introduction.

I expected them to change.

Children.

Conclusion.

Chapter 13    Causes of Arguments

Introduction.

Possible Causes.

Steps to make effective Change in your marriage.

Conclusion.

Chapter 14    Types of Abuse

Introduction.

Physical Abuse.

Child Abuse.

Emotional Abuse.

Sexual Abuse.

Chapter 15    Divorce

Introduction.

What are the real reasons for divorce?

Conclusion.

Chapter 16    Round-Up

This book is

dedicated to my wonderful Asawa, Gloria. God brought us together for a purpose, He gave me her to lead me from the depth of depression to the heights of love I never knew before.

Preface

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." ‒ Mignon McLaughlin

Introduction

This book was written because I saw that many marriages are now ending in divorce or separation, see later that about 50% fail within 5 years. My own life is an example of what can be a bad marriage and a good marriage and a wonderful marriage.

My first marriage was due to social pressure, back in the 1960s if you had sex and the girl became pregnant then the social view was you should marry her or be labeled a bad person. This is what happened to me with my first sexual partner and despite my serious misgivings, I agreed to marry her. I was fond of her but not in love, I was in love with someone else and had been for 5 years from the age of 13. she had now gone off to University, later I found out that she had become pregnant and married the father.

I was a photographer and had been selected for Aircrew training but it had been delayed because of the very bad winter which stopped all flying. Without that delay, my life may have been quite different but this is how life treats you but raising up challenges and obstacles that send you in a different direction.

Anyway, I have always needed female companionship, in fact in my entire life I have only had 3 male friends but at least 100 female friends. I can relate to women but not to men. Somehow my thought patterns are closer to the female mind that a male one. But this did not give me any advantage looking for a girlfriend, in fact, the opposite many women only saw me as a friend and not a lover.

When we were having sex, NOT making love, I was thinking of the other girl whom I had not allowed to have sex because I believed it should be only for married people. But here I was having sex without being married, I did not try and reconcile the difference in view. Having sex without any protection, I was too embarrassed to go to the chemist and buy some protection, the inevitable happened.

Once she told me I struggled as to what I should do but my moral and social upbringing in the church gave me no real option. But of course, we could not get married in a church, not allowed, so we got married in the local Registry Office. Without any money, we had