Free People from Mental Slavery, Vol 1

By Paseka Mazibuko

This book is based on a true story experienced by the author in his life. Paseka was apprehended and sentenced to three years imprisonment for a crime he did not commit. His legal proceeding was unfairly litigated. He was not assumed to be innocent until proven guilty; instead, he was found guilty based on hearsay prior to court proceedings. He was not given a chance to state his side of the story and his conviction negatively affected his life, profession and his occupation as a teacher. His character and reputation were tainted in toto. It separated him from his family and his parents passed away while he was in prison for a crime he did not commit. This book is all about change or emancipation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bhiyoza Publishers
• Release date: Nov 25, 2020
• ISBN: 9781990988776

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

KNOW EVERYBODY AND FEAR NO ONE.

I want you to know how important it is to me that you’ve kept up such regular visits, for a year and half (18 months), from the 20th of March 2015, to 20th of September 2016. I am sure it was not easy for you. It must have meant sacrifices. It is rare for families, learners, colleagues and friends of the inmates (prisoners), like I was at the time, to go on giving so much because after a time many fall away, content to let us be taken care of by others, warehoused. It makes a vast difference that you always stand by me, and for that, I am making great progress.

It is good to help, because it is the first step in unlocking the self within ourselves. It is also good to receive. We cannot refuse your help, neither the smallest contribution nor the largest. Each is precious. Each is to me is like a hand-held out from you to take mine, to become my true helper and a pillar to lean on.

My travel thus far has been difficult, but that will make my rest all the sweeter, because I was a prisoner to other people’s needs and plans. All that time, I forgot about myself and my family’s needs and wants. I thought I knew everybody and feared no one. Now I realise that there is evil in the world and I am one of its victims. I was unconstitutionally and unfairly dismissed from work, convicted for a crime I did not commit, without them following correct procedures from the beginning to the end. For instance, hearsay, used with no solid evidence, only flimsy, so-called circumstantial evidence.

I tried looking forward and that did not work. Now I am going to look backwards. Even though it could be a long way to go before I get there, that is the only direction I have to follow, to prove my innocence and to find the real motive for these allegations. I will know, at that time, if I had been defeated and outwitted. My unfortunate experience in life has made me realise that there are magic things we are given, sometimes not as gifts but to tempt us, like the big red apple the witch gave to Snow White.

What is the first thing you do if the ground beneath you starts to rumble and the walls begin to shake? Do you grab the kids and run or check your home insurance policy? Do you fall on your knees and pray for deliverance or will you spend precious time asking, What is going on?

Democracy, in my understanding, is the government of the people, by the people, for the people. If our democracy is to flourish, it must have criticism. If our government is to function, it must have dissent and acknowledge the basic reason for the cause. Above all else, we should guard our hearts, for they are a wellspring of life. And deceitful above all things and beyond cure.

Peace be the Referee in our hearts! When the referee blows his whistle in a soccer match, the game has to stop because a foul has been committed, and so it should be to all of us, because when we lose our peace, God’s referee in our hearts has blown his whistle. Let us stop immediately and ask God to show us what is wrong. Many of us have neglected the referee’s whistle so often and for so long that we have ceased to hear it any more.

When we cannot accept material loss like load-shedding, how can we accept spiritual loss with the ongoing load-shedding in our hearts? Caused by our excessive indulgence in sin, of which the consequences are extremely detrimental and destructive to our lives and more so, our lives after death.

I can assure you that beneath the so-called Victim/Complainant’s entire existence, lay a consuming, confusing and heart-breaking guilt for what she and her group did to me, my family, my career, my reputation and my future. But to be broken is the beginning of revival, even when it is painful and humiliating, it is the only way, hence writing is in some way therapeutic to me.

Is it against the law nowadays to hug your daughter, to pinch her nose or chin, to kiss her on the cheek, touch her on shoulders and tease her? Wow! I think with all these new ways of life our ancestors are turning in their graves. These are memories that must not be forgotten or hidden but kept alive so that the living will never forget and must never forget.

We hold our hearts out to Jesus, longing that He might fill it with the water of life. I picture Jesus as bearing the golden water pot containing the water of life. When He passes by, He looks into our cups and if one is clean, He fills it up to overflowing with the water of life—but He doesn’t fill dirty cups. Remember! We are made in the image of God and so there can be no evil or smallness within us, but only undiscovered, untapped wisdom, goodness and greatness.

It is said that one thing has nothing to do with another, but it happened to me. The Labour’ (the learner) false allegations were linked with a criminal case which was un-investigated, with flimsy evidence, bias and as a fact-finding mission to punish me for a crime I did not commit. As a result, I discovered that, the road to success is full of thorns and hardships. I need a strong character and perseverance to ensure that I get what I want because secrets always rise to the surface. I discovered that there were a woman’s calculations in my case to make ugliness out of beauty and to cause pain to my family.

For that, the rift between me and them is irreparable. My principal was surprisingly meddlesome, in favour of the Victim/Complainant, in both the labour and criminal cases, and these made me realise that having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family and having both is a blessing.

I can’t pull the plug on something I know nothing about. I screamed and wept but no one came to save me. I was almost at the end of my rope. My conscience suddenly told me to give them a good show and keep them well fed, so that they wouldn’t stop to think about the cost to their conscience. Hence my personal tears didn’t get in the way of my professional judgement. For that, I won’t have anything impairing my vision, as I have enough problems without adding onto them. I believe the dead have eyes to see what the living are up to and are able to punish their evil doings. I believe that they are watching over me, for they had come to me in a dream while I had slept.

OH God! Be merciful to me because of your faithful Love and because of your great Compassion. Erase all the wrongs I have done, scrub away my guilt and wash me clean from my sins. I know I have done wrong and I remember all my sins all the time. I have done what you said is wrong. You are the One I have sinned against. I say this so that people will know that I am wrong, and you are right and what you’ve decided is fair.

I was born to do wrong. A sinner before I left my mother’s womb. You want me to be completely loyal, so put true wisdom deep inside me. Remove my sins and make me pure, wash me clean until I am whiter than snow.

Oppose those who oppose me, fight those who fight against me. Take your shield and armour and come to my rescue.

May those who try to kill me be defeated and disgraced? May those who plot against me be turned back and confused? May they be like straw blown by the wind?

Without any reason, they laid a trap for me and dug a deep hole to catch me, but destruction will catch them before they know it.

They will be caught in their own trap and fall to destruction because there is no one like you. You protect the weak from the strong and the poor from the oppressor.

Don’t let my enemies—those liars—gloat over my defeat. Don’t let those who hate me for no reason, smirk with delight over my sorrow.

May those who gloat over my sufferings be completely defeated and confused? May those who claim to be better than I am, be covered with shame and disgrace.

Don’t be silent, Lord. Don’t keep yourself far away. Rouse Yourself, O Lord, declare me innocent. Let me hear songs of joy and happiness again. Let the bones you crushed be happy again. Don’t look at my sins, erase them all.

God! Create a pure heart in me and make my spirit strong again and ready to obey you and I will teach the guilt how you want them to live and sinners will come back to you.

My God! You are the One who saves me. Let me sing about all the good things you do for me. My Lord, I will open my mouth and sing Your Praises. You don’t really want sacrifices, or I would give them to you. The sacrifice that you really want is a humble Spirit. God, you will not turn away anyone who comes with a humble heart and is willing to obey you.

CHAPTER 2

SNAKE VERSUS WORM.

My name is Punyuka Bemphethe Dlamini. I am a teacher and I am your friend, from the black and holy earth of this very democratic, Ebumnandini, in which the harvest is abundant. For when I whip the flanks of my donkey, the wooden spike of the plough breaks new ground. I plant the seed and reap the grape, and the ears of corn, in time I drink the wine and eat the loaf. I follow the rhythm of the seasons and tend the earth.

Suddenly everything changed and I had a nasty experience because our justice is not that reliable. I discovered that friends are the easiest to cheat because they never expect it, as it happened to me. I had taught with them and probably orientated many of them at school. We had co-operated well together, without any conflict of egos, because we knew that there is time to fight and a time to make peace. But now they were fighting against me and turning their backs on me. Ja! These people are good.

I could see it in the way they advanced, not giving me time to get my pants back on, not wasting any time. Like vultures coming in for a fresh carcass, so that my kindness could be written down against my name in the golden book, because they wouldn’t want to draw any government’s attention to themselves and their little private schemes. Something about my dismissal and conviction does not ring true to me.

The people who shepherded them in these false accusations were no longer visible. Their presence was and is still betrayed by their actions and deeds, but I withstood the wind, the storm. The arrow pierced my flesh but didn’t harm me. Well, I have suffered and loved. I have eschewed the false path that lies straight before me but I have taken the hidden stairway to the seat of God because my love is a flask of cold water in the desert, a banner unfurling in the breeze and my love is the first shout of the newborn infant.

In my understanding, friendship is love with understanding but today I have learnt that one man’s freedom fighter is the next man’s terrorist, hence we lie in the value of a thousand joinings; infant to mother, man to woman, friend to friend and of sex to sex. How the hell do we play a game when we do not even know the rules? Because what can be given a name, can be known and what is nameless can only be felt, hence I found myself on the journey through the pylons, the dangers and the trials. There were demons and monsters that awaited me along the way, but I sail with the tide behind me and the wind in my face. I did not fear death as much as I feared that I would never see my family again. As a result, I do not want to share any of my concerns, life and personal matters, with political fat cats, especially in the Departments of Ekukhanyeni Education and Justice.

People should know that there is a great difference between a snake and a worm. When a person attempts to strike a snake, it rears itself up, hisses and tries to strike back. This symbolises the true picture of self. A worm on the other hand offers no resistance, it allows a person to do what he/she likes with it; Kick it, squash it under his/her heel. This reflects a true picture of brokenness.

I then realised that some people have now turned between religious conviction and greed, as a result, their obsession has driven them over the edge of sanity. Be warned! The time and times, and half times are at the end because the foundation of the earth is the word of the Lord. What is needed most on earth these days is that the sons and daughters of men be warned that the day of the Lord is at hand and those who have been unfaithful must meet themselves in those things, which come to pass in their experience, hence the Lord said: Though the heavens and the earth pass away, My Word shall not pass away.

"O Lord! Make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me show love. Where there is injury, let me show pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. And where there is sadness, let me show joy.

O! Divine Master grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, but to console. To be understood as to understand and to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is dying that we are born to Eternal life." –  St Francis of Assisi

God has given me the greatest gift I could ever receive, the gift of myself, and to use it to run the rest of my life, educating and changing lives of other people around and beyond our country, Ebumnandini. People will forget what I said and what I did but they will never forget how I made them feel. To understand the heart and mind of a person, one should not look at what one has already achieved but at what he/she aspires to. Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself, as it is not something, I do for someone else.

The best way to hide something from us, black Ebumnandinians, is to put it in writing or a book. Other races will continue to contain us as long as we refuse to read. If we keep putting off things today and convince ourselves that we will do them tomorrow, we are not going to get very far. So rather them than us?

For me, a pencil can be a weapon, or it can be used to write a poem. People should bear in mind that whatever you have been given, God does not give it to you, so that you can be a fat cat, but so that you can help other people.

How many times a person wishes to give something to a beggar but feels that when he/she gives one, many others will also come and surround him/her?

I personally would like to fill myself up with as new experiences as possible, to do and see, and know everything I possibly can. To not be afraid to reach up, to stretch because I realised that, when fire burns against a white wall, it blackens the wall. My world began to fall to pieces around my head due to fabricated and pre-planned stories, with no concrete evidence. Just flimsy so-called circumstantial evidence. From now on, I should be as cagey and as careful as circumstances permit, for there is evil in our mist, who victimised me. That is an ordeal I hope to avoid forever.

Difficult times are like a dark and rainy, cold night. An occasion for us to light our lamps. Because when some light is received on a darkest night, everyone feels comfortable.

Currently, I am like a drop of water, removed from the ocean. What difference will it make to the ocean? Personally, I am in no mood to throw my life away. I do not want anything to derail the peace process. If you can’t accept the value of what I do, you reject me for it. Know that it may be all that I am remembered for. And I’ll carry a criminal record for the rest of my life, even though I am just a workaholic, with no life other than work and family.

I learnt that the dove and the lamb are surely the greatest of all God’s creatures. The dove speaks of peace. When the Eternal God chose to reveal Himself in the form of the Holy Spirit and come to our world, He was revealed under the emblem of the dove. The lamb, on the other hand, speaks of meekness and submissiveness. When the Eternal God chose to reveal Himself, in His Son, He gave Him the name of the lamb, for it has no schemes or plans of helping its own self. It exists in helplessness and simplicity. Jesus, the Son of God, was willing to be shorn of His rights—just as a lamb is shorn of its wool, and He never resisted. How many times or occasions are we not willing to be shorn off that which is our right? The dove on the other side can only abide upon us, if we are willing to be shorn as the lamb.

Even though things may not have gone according to my plan in the past, it does not mean it is going to be like that forever. I should, therefore, not be punished by my problems but be led by my dreams.

I have resolved to practise good ways, always; to run when I can, to walk when I cannot run and to crawl when I cannot walk. To keep my face toward God because God discovers deep things out of darkness and brings them out to light the shadow of death, hence I am always asking the light from Him, who can turn darkness into day and banish all the demons in hell.

Wounds that cannot be seen are more painful than those that can be seen and cured. As a result, I discovered that, the only place where democracy comes before work is in the dictionary. When we cannot tolerate a few hours of darkness, how will we be able to tolerate the darkness of the grave?

I discovered that our current ANC government is putting a band aid on a problem, treating the symptoms and the effect, rather than the cause. In my point of view, there is no point in papering over the cracks, because by right, I should have been over the moon. I should have achieved my objective, but it was brought to my attention that the one who strives and works very hard, receives little reward. But the one who works a little receives great rewards.

Today most leaders wear rose-coloured glasses when looking at their own behaviour and blinders when looking at their faults. But, when they look at others, they use magnifying glasses to examine everything they do. When such leaders have problems, they blame the situation, for instance, they would say, I would have protected my fellow colleague (teacher), but the parents were angry and yelling at me.

When such leaders have to explain other people’s problems, they blame the person. You will hear them saying, He/she is always late.

This creates a problem for leaders because they judge themselves by their own intentions, however, other people judge them by their actions. In my opinion, driving for results, building relationship and managing change are important leadership skills in these turbulent times, especially here, in Ebumnandini.

People are not influenced by the leader’s power to punish by his/her status or position, or even their power to reward. They are influenced by their perception, that the leader is competent and can get the job done, hence I believe that the art of leading can be taught and that it can be mastered, contrary to leaders are born, not made.

Farting anywhere in public is usually embarrassing for the perpetrator and is treated as a disastrous breach of manners. That indicates if you make songs about yourself, you cannot blame other people for singing. Hence for me, the most beautiful is often short-lived, nothing more than a momentary flash. Most murders are committed, not by our enemies but by our friends. This has taught me that if I was to succeed in life, I’d have to learn to walk a tightrope.

They had me whipsawed from the beginning and I could not do much about what happened, except to tighten up my belt. But they forgot that in life we reap what we sow—they are biting the hand that feeds them, due to the power of thought to make things happen. Which is fate.

CHAPTER 3

DO NOT STIR DIRTY WATER, OR ELSE?

Though this has happened upon me and my family, let not our hearts be turned back or our steps go out of the way, because it seems that these days, Ebumnandini is a place in which to keep the girl, until she can be used for some political and financial advantage. I hope to weather the storm that soon will inevitably burst over our society.

I discovered in my research that in Cairo, ages ago, Abd-el–Kerim, who was Muslim, had a private section for selling black women. One black woman was sold to Gerard De Norval in 1843, at Sonk-el-Ezzi and that woman was called Z’t’n’b’ for Zetnaybia, meaning beautiful. She was priced at 625 francs. Gerard De Norval wanted to buy her for 500 Francs. The rule was that, when a black woman was sold, she was sold with two different prices. Her physical body had its own price, and her name had its own separate price. Isn’t that what’s happening today, indirectly?

I discovered then that here in Ebumnandini, everything is for sale, at a price, including our government officials and police officers, hence I was caught once by the person whom I held in the highest esteem. I wouldn’t like to fall for the same cock and bull a second time, because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. As a result, one should learn from one’s mistakes.

I want to turn back time because I believe everyone is allowed one mistake. I then realised that, it is true that where there is smoke, there is fire. Therefore, it is better to overrate your enemy than to underrate him/her.

I do not make one of those mistakes for which I’ll kick myself afterwards, for they are not through with grinding my face in the mud. I do not go into a box with only one exit because you won’t know the quicksand when you see it, hence it is a mistake to stir dirty water.

This has taught me that, it is not the speed we travel in that counts, but the direction. I would rather go in the right direction at 10km per hour than go in the wrong direction at a 100km per hour, because I realised that, inexperienced people like myself, become involved in situations the more so-called intelligent people would avoid. And that people look what the results are and not the cause. Abantu ngeke bakuthande bonke ungesiyona imali (not all people will like you as you are not money).

Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie. The things I took for granted, someone else prayed for. This also made me realise that the less the people you chill with, the less bullshit you deal with. It was like going from one boiling pot into another when I was unfairly and wrongfully dismissed from work and sentenced for three years for a crime I did not commit. I believe nothing is forever, it shall pass, even though this would be a feather in their caps because one day cannot make an elephant rotten.

Whilst in Bhudaza Correctional Centre, as prisons are today referred to, I realised from what I experienced, that they were supposed to be called Corruptional Centres, not Correctional, because there is nothing that is corrected in people’s lives or behaviour. Just ill-treatment—treating us like trash or outcasts, for