As I Die Slowly

By Diamond Cartel

LaTasia Reynolds is on the path to success. Having obtained her Master’s Degree in Nursing, she is chosen to head the fundraising banquet for HIV/AIDS research at McCloud Memorial Hospital. Elated to be the right hand woman to Raina Thomas, the hospital’s Director of Nursing, she immediately jumps at the opportunity. But when a previous moment of passion casts her as a statistic, her life turns upside down.

Battling stereotypes, skeletons, and her own family, LaTasia is now faced with the task of changing her own life as she helps to change the lives of others. Family members become enemies. Strangers become friends. A future that used to be so bright turns into a murky, cloudy maze of confusion. Somehow, she finds her way through and realizes her life isn’t ending - it’s just beginning.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diamond Cartel
• Release date: Mar 3, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301690824

Diamond Cartel

Diamond Cartel is a novelist like no other. Her stories are based on real life experiences everyone can relate to. Throughout her life she has been through so much, and writing has always been her way of release. With this method of personal healing she decided to take her experiences...and her talent...and use them to reach out to others. While so many authors write to entertain, Diamond writes to teach, educate, heal, and connect with her readers. Every story has a lesson. Every character has a message. Without seeming too "lecturing", she gets her point across in a variety of ways. Filled with comedy, tragedy, drama, emotions, and suspense her stories are sure to leave you on the edge of your seat, riled up, and ready to jump in head first!

Book preview

As I Die Slowly

A Novel

Diamond Cartel

This ebook is a work of fiction. Any characters, incidents, situations, or the like are not real nor are they based on actual events. Similarities to individuals, living or deceased are purely coincidental and not deliberately intentional.

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 by Diamond Cartel

All Rights Reserved. No part of this ebook may be copied, duplicated, reprinted, or reproduced in any form (print, digital, verbal, or otherwise) under any circumstances. For use permission contact author for further information.

Isys Publications, LLC

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this ebook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

A Message from The Rockstarr

About the Author

Novels Currently Available

Connect with The Rockstarr

As I Die Slowly

A Novel

Diamond Cartel

Your past does not determine your future…you do!

~Rockstarr~

Acknowledgements

I would like to acknowledge my Higher Power, God, and everyone that has played a role in my life. No matter how big or small, you have all helped to mold the person that’s sitting on the other side of this computer today. I love and appreciate each and every one of you!

Yes, that was simply put, but sometimes simple is better.

Expressively yours,

Diamond Cartel

Chapter 1

LaTasia Janese Reynolds.

The moment had arrived. After five grueling years of blood, sweat and tears I finally received my highest honor to date. Today I graduated from Upland University with my Bachelor of Science Degree in Nursing. As I walked across the stage my face was beaming with pride. There was an entire section in the middle of the auditorium screaming my name. The walk across the stage took less than thirty seconds, but that moment seemed to move so slowly. I was taking it all in. All the late nights studying, cramming for midterms and finals, projects, internships, repeating my first year of classes because of too much partying; so much that I had to do and redo. Finally, it all came down to this.

I didn’t have the desire to attend a large university. I remember my older sister and brother graduating from large universities. Neither one got to walk the stage. All they did was stand at their seats as their majoring classes were called. They didn’t even get an individual recognition. They stood up, heard their major called, waved, and sat down. I wanted more than that on my big day. I wanted to walk the stage at a small yet reputable university.

That’s why I chose Upland University. They had the best nursing program for the institution size that I was searching for. Even after I failed my first year, they didn’t shun me or put me aside. They worked tireless with me to mentor me and encourage me to keep going. They didn’t give up on me and wouldn’t allow me to give up on myself. I would have never received that from a larger institution. They brought forth things within me that I didn’t know existed, and that’s why I’m here today.

After the ceremony, I met with my family and friends outside. We laughed, cried, and took a crazy amount of pictures. At least five memory cards were filled up. Afterwards, my family did the traditional graduation dinner at my favorite restaurant, L’Audo Bistro. It was my favorite Italian restaurant. They had a penne pasta dish to die for. I loved Italian food. One of my dreams is to visit Italy and experience some authentic Italian cuisine. For now, L’Audo Bistro was as close as I was going to get for a while. During dinner, the topic of my future came up. That was something I hadn’t began to think about.

So Tasia, what’s next in life for you? My father was always one to have a plan in place. He expected the same from all of us, including me. This was a conversation I definitely was not ready to have, but once the question was put on the table I had no choice but to answer.

I’m not sure, dad. I still need to take the nursing exam next month. After that, who knows?

You should know.

I know, Dad, but I honestly don’t. On one hand I want to jump right into my career because I love nursing so much. On the other, I never really had a chance to go out and have fun after my first failed year in college. I put all of that on the backburner to focus on getting things back in order. Now that I’ve graduated, I kind of want to see what it feels like to just be free and have fun.

My mom quickly came to my defense.

As well you should. You’ve done the work, now it’s time to play. Nursing is a very demanding field, and you graduated in the top of your class. I know you’ll do well on the exam. Keep your focus for one more month then take some time for you. Find out what LaTasia is about; what makes her tick! Don’t just throw in the towel and instantly become an adult with responsibilities. Be young for a year or two. Then worry about your career. You only get your twenties once, baby.

Spoken like a true mother. I loved my mom to death for always supporting me. She gave up her freedom when she was young when my brother was born. She was nineteen to be exact, fresh out of high school, and with a child she had no chance of going to college. They didn’t have financial aid back then, and her parents couldn’t afford to support her and my brother and send her to school. So she made the choice to skip the fun years and go from high school senior to married with a family. Luckily, my dad was a man of his word and he got two jobs to support them. They had a nice apartment, a somewhat decent car, stable jobs…but more importantly they had each other. He never once lied, cheated, or left her for hours on end. Yes, they argue from time to time, but in the end it was always them against the world. I truly am lucky to have parents like them.

Thanks, Mom. Thank you both. Let me get through these exams and we’ll talk about the future then, okay?

My dad was apprehensive about letting the subject go, but he knew I was a spitfire just like him. I wasn’t ready to make a call and that was that. Besides, a public altercation with my mother was something none of us wanted. The rest of the night we talked about everything under the sun. It was wonderful being with my entire family; my parents, my oldest brother Daron, my oldest sister Felicity, and my baby sister Semora. She is my favorite. Semora was my parent’s miracle baby because they almost lost her more times than I care to remember, and she survived every time. She’s a fighter, just like my dad and I. She’s such a sweetheart and I love her to death. Innocence was never so pure to me before she came along.

One thing was certain. Now that I was done with college I had no intentions of being so distant from my family; especially not Semora. She is getting to that age where she needs a strong female role model. While our mother was an excellent example of what a woman should be, she needed someone closer to her own age that could tell her like it is. Plus, she feels comfortable talking to me about anything. She knows I won’t steer her wrong and I know she’ll listen to me. Felicity is too self-absorbed to focus on her and Daron is just like my dad, always ready to load the shotgun. She needs someone that understands her, and that someone is me. I had a great time with my family. Now it was time to do it up with my girls Toya and Kisha.

Toya and I have been friends since the third grade. We go way back. The only time we lost touch was when she moved to Florida for two years. Her mom was going through a bad breakup with her step-dad and it got out of hand. She had to relocate until he was put in jail for damn near taking her life. Once that was taken care of they moved back. We found each other a few weeks later at a basketball game. We have been close ever since.

In Toya’s absence I became friends with Kisha. She reminded me so much of Toya that I secretly thought of her as Toya’s long lost twin. What’s even funnier is that when they met my joke was confirmed. They looked eerily similar and had the same taste in just about everything…except for boys. That was where they were total opposites. It wasn’t long until the three of us became the best of friends. We’ve had our share of arguments, hostile moments, and battles, but we never crossed the line, belittled one another, or forced someone to take sides. We were the definition of true sisterhood – flaws and all.

During our senior year we decided to attend the same college. Our first year, as you already know, was not the best. We were so focused on letting loose, attending dorm and frat house parties, and getting used to being adults that we neglected the entire reason for being there. It didn’t take long after that final academic probation warning to straighten up. Kisha even went so far as to isolate herself from everyone – including Toya and I – for an entire semester. While we understood the reason we still felt slighted so to speak. Looking back, I’m glad she did it because it got her on the Dean’s list and she never left it her entire time at Upland. Toya made her Dean’s List the last three semesters. I made my program’s list once. Honestly, that was enough for me.

Later on that night, the girls and I hit up Club Onyx for their graduation jam. It was my first experience in a night club. The deejay was bringing the hits left and right until four in the morning. The Goose was flowing, and everyone was having a great time. To top it off, there were no fights. I was definitely feeling the night life and knew it wouldn’t be my last time. Afterwards, we hit up the Pancake Palace which basically turned into the after party. It was a great night indeed.

The rest of my summer weekends emulated my graduation weekend. My dad was still on my case about getting started in my career, but I decided to follow my mom’s advice instead. After my first failed year of college I had to get serious, so I didn’t go out, unless it was winter or spring break. Even then, my outings were scarce because like the typical college student I was broke, busted, and disgusted. That was when campus parties and house parties were my thing, and after a while they got played out. By my senior year, it was just me and the books. Sounds exciting, right? Well those days are behind me now. It was time to live it up.

Around mid-August I started thinking more like my dad again. The constant partying was fun and all, and I liked my weekday position at the hospital I had recently got, but I wanted more. I felt like I was doing okay career wise, but there wasn’t much room for growth. So, unbeknownst to anyone, I enrolled back into school. After doing some research, I found the perfect graduate program for me. I didn’t plan on starting until winter quarter. Until then, I would get the rest of my partying out. Come January it would be all about the books again. My days of being carefree were now numbered, but I was going to make sure I went out with a bang!

One weekend we had a much needed girl’s night in. The club scene wasn’t desirable so we decided to hang out at Kisha’s apartment. The mood was light in the beginning until Toya made the comment that she was getting bored with her life. To her the club scene was getting old, the guys were played out, and she needed and wanted more from life. Her dissatisfaction with life sparked a conversation that would set the path for all of us. I knew this would be the perfect time to unveil my new plan.

I’m just not happy and that’s all there is to it. Toya finished with a sigh.

I can relate. Kisha said. Even though this summer was a blast, I still feel like I haven’t gotten anywhere with this degree. I don’t even know what I want to do with it anymore.

I could sense the frustration in their voices. I have been experiencing those same feelings for the past few weeks. They were one of the reasons why I decided to go back for my Master’s degree. While I wasn’t unfulfilled, lost or unhappy like they were I still felt like I could do more with what I knew. Nursing was more than a career to me. It had become my passion. Knowing that I play a role in someone’s recovery - miracle recovery in some instances - is amazing to me. It makes me feel like I have a real purpose in life; one that doesn’t consist of the stereotypical lifestyle most young African American women my age are subject to experiencing. I knew there was more to life than what I was currently experiencing. Obtaining my Master’s degree would afford me the opportunity to discover what else life had to offer.

I agree ladies. I said. "That is exactly why I’ve decided to