Who Do You Say I Am?

By Toni Hauch

The question Jesus asked, past, present, and future, demands our answer. Whether we know it or not, we answer His question every day. Our path in life is not determined by chance but by us. Regardless of what happens, our words and actions reflect who we say Jesus is. God places memory stones throughout our life; therefo

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Sep 13, 2023
• ISBN: 9781685567408

Book preview

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my Lord, my Creator, my Redeemer, who has relentlessly loved, guided, blessed, and protected me every day of my life. To my parents, Tony and Pauline Sakely; to my sister, Sandy Bevilacqua, and her husband, Frank, and to my sister Diane Powers; to my children, Debra Greenlaw and Mark Boff; my grandchildren, Brittany Smith, her husband, Pete, Nick Boff, and Zack Boff; my great-grandchildren, Drake Smith, Patrick Smith, and Avery Smith; Ashton; my daughter-in-love, Eve Fisher; my spiritual leaders, Father Tony Palazzolo and Pastor Ron Rayon; and every single person who the Lord has divinely placed in my life path. Throughout my life, God sets the right person at the perfect time all along the way, and He will continue until I sit with Him in heavenly places. All honor and glory are His.

Acknowledgments

Above all, God is the first and foremost reason this book came into being. God was and continues to mold and shape His supernatural goodness into my life and the lives of others. I never once deserved any of His amazing grace, but that never stopped God from graciously providing abundant, unmerited grace and favor. The truth is, in my case, everything good in me truly is a reflection of an amazing, supernatural Father.

My children, friends, and church fellowship encouraged me and prayed for several years that I’d complete this book, the book the Lord placed in my heart. Their prayers and encouragement helped me have the confidence, courage, and consistency to write several priceless moments when I have seen, heard, and witnessed the mighty hand of the Lord.

God instructed me to write, but knowing others were praying helped me through the long process of writing, editing, and publishing a book. I had no idea that putting a few life experiences into a book would take so long or require so much discipline and effort. But I have learned that the stories, events, and words God spoke and showed me in a second take a lifetime to begin understanding.

Please believe that writing a book was certainly not what I ever thought or dreamed of doing. It is He who defined this exact title. I don’t pretend to know how He will use this book, but I do believe God will inspire and strike the heart of others to write and share their eyewitness testimonies.

All praise and glory go to God because He is responsible for sending life-changing sermons, straight-to-the-heart podcasts, His perfectly timed Word, and hundreds of people into and out of my life, always at the right time and perfect place. I am convinced that no human, regardless of how wise or enlightened they may be, can ever plan one minute of life as perfectly as our Father in heaven prepares entire generations of life. God, in His infinite wisdom, puts us together, similar to the finest wine or recipe, blending all the right ingredients at precisely the perfect time. He promises us in Psalm 119 that we are knit perfectly into the fabric of family, society, community, and the world and surely we are.

These few chapters are merely a handful of events of God’s evidence in my life. I could sit down and write four or five more books, and each one has the undeniable hand of God that no human could ever do. My life is no different than all other humans. I am convinced that everyone who has ever walked this earth experiences not one but many supernatural and precious God moments.

Wisdom says God opens our eyes to see more and more as He sharpens our vision while simultaneously and mysteriously broadening our hearing to hear the things of God. It’s impossible to tell when or how, but along the way, God aligns our senses to understand spiritual matters with increasing clarity. All these free and exclusive gifts from God make it almost impossible to go backward in the things of God. One who’s eyes are fixed on God can only go forward in wisdom and understanding.

I’m sure some humans try to explain this phenomenon, but I am not sure it can be fully understood or explained while we are on earth. Take the simple, unique creation in our DNA; one cell alone is mind-boggling, let alone all God is doing every second. We know from Psalm 139 God interacts with each of His creations even before time began according to His sovereign plan. Most of us will try to live by our own plan, but only a fool continues as the years prove God far more faithful and forgiving than ourselves

The pages are untorn and not tear-stained, but they should be, for only God knows the number of tears I cried or the corrections I made as I remembered and wrote. Every tear came from utter gratitude, and every sentence meant to pen the greatness the Lord placed before my eyes. No doubt, writing has healed me in ways I never knew I needed, but it’s also allowed me to see a more comprehensive view than I had at the time. Remembering opened my eyes to more of what God had done than I could have seen at the time. The lion’s share of tears was due to sheer gratefulness for a Father who is too good to be true, yet He is. How is it possible to sufficiently thank and praise such a gracious God?

As you read, God may bring to mind God events in your own life. I pray you will make notes, if you already haven’t, and write a book to share with others. If not a book, write chapters for your family or tell the events while you still can as your witness to Christ. Only God knows who will desperately need your exact testimony tomorrow. Thank you for being God’s faithful witness on the earth for such a time as this.

Endorsements

Toni Hauch has written this book that takes the question Jesus asked His disciples, Who do you say that I am? and reminds the reader who did the asking. The question is as dynamic and living as the One who asked it. As a result of this book, I will think daily about what my life says about who I say Jesus is.

In sharing her testimonies, Toni encourages us to press into knowing, loving, and serving our Savior, remembering the great things He has done, and demonstrating our knowledge through what we say and do each day. This book is a must-read for all generations, for this is Jesus’s question to every human.

Toni calls memory stones the clear, undeniable evidence of God along our life path, unique to us and our needs that only the Lord could perform. Our memory stones are Jesus revealing Himself to us; when we share those times, as Toni is doing here, we share the goodness of our living God in everyday life with our friends, family, and the generations to come. Our memory stones are the transforming power that changes our behavior. Our testimonies and everyday actions are evidence of our being conformed to the image of Christ. We portray what is on the inside daily, and our actions and words clearly define who we say Jesus is!

—Pastor Ron Rayon

Grace Christian Church

St. Joseph, Michigan

I have known Toni and her family for decades as a friend and as one of my spiritual leaders. I walked alongside her as she lived many of the chapters in this book. Her thesis, based on her testimony of Jesus, coupled with the corresponding evidence of God’s hand in our lives, is more than compelling; it lines up with the Word of God.

As a priest, a family counselor, and a spiritual advisor who travels across the country nearly every week to preach the gospel, it’s evident who people say Jesus is. Our words and actions, positively or negatively, influence family, friends, neighbors, and everyone around us in ways we cannot even imagine. We are Christ’s witnesses on the earth.

Regardless of who we are, whether we have come a long way in our faith or our journey has just begun, make no mistake, we determine our life path—no one else does. We choose who and what we believe. We choose who influences our lives, where, and how we live. Every day, it is our choice as to how we choose to see every person and situation, and we alone determine how those around us experience us. What Jesus has done in this author’s life, He will do for others. We are to consider through wisdom our words, thoughts, and actions each day, for multitudes are watching, and so is our Creator. May God bless each one who reads and touches this book.

—Father Tony Palazzolo

Preface

One morning, the King of all kings woke me up at 5:00 a.m. and asked me to write this book, and He gave me this specific title. A few days later, God gave me a vision in my dreams. I saw many people whispering, reading, and talking, but I did not know them. I asked the Lord, Who are these people? He said, These are the generations reading who need this book that you will never know.

From then on, I prayed and listened every day, not wanting to run ahead of God or His purpose. But no words came. A month or so later, I was working in my office, and suddenly, as if God had turned on a light, I turned to my bookshelf, and there, before my eyes, were forty-plus years of my journals. Instantly, I knew God wanted me to write the memory stones He had placed in my life. It was clear God asked me to write what He had already done. Only God knew those things were experiences I could give eyewitness testimony about and already written in my journals.

It’s funny how God works things out as, over the years, I had often told my children that when I passed on, the only material items they needed to keep were my journals so they would know the extraordinary faithfulness of God. I never imagined or understood that God had started this book decades ago. Or was this book determined before time began?

Introduction

The Lord spoke to me. This time His familiar voice awakened me and told me to write this book and title it Who Do You Say I Am? Once again, God’s words captivated my mind and soul, commanding me to follow.

At a young age, decades ago, God first spoke to me. I will share that experience in chapter 1. Many decades later, His voice continues to lead me through a journey of happiness, sadness, turmoil, peace, epiphanies, remembrances, and so much more than human words can ever say. It’s not that I hear the Lord every day, although that is the desire of my heart; instead, He chooses the moments and makes Himself clear when He speaks. I have experienced that God is always visible and working even though I may not hear or see it at the time. If we cannot see Him, it is us who choose not to see or hear, or perhaps we simply aren’t looking or listening for Him.

Please let me be clear: All the way, it’s God; never have I deserved any of it, and no one is more aware of my deficiencies than I. Nonetheless, through His words, grace, and mercy, I have and continue to live a plethora of spiritual, emotional, and physical experiences that mold and shape who I say the Lord is. The places I have traveled and seen, the extraordinary people I have met, and the wonders I have experienced can only be the work of God. I never dreamed or imagined that big.

As I listened to God telling me to write a book, my foremost thought was—why? To me, it seemed multifariously strange, as God already knows who we say He is, far better than we know ourselves. Then my second arguing thought, Surely, there are plenty of books by the title Who Do You Say I Am? as Jesus asked His followers that exact question millenniums ago. Nonetheless, God’s voice and His request were unmistakably clear. I tried the 2 Chronicles 20:12 (NIV) approach by repeating, I do not know what to do or what to say, but my eyes are on you for direction (paraphrased).

I prayed and waited for His instruction or some sign of what He had in mind. I had many ideas, but only God knew what He wanted to be written. I have run ahead of the Lord in the past and found that it is not only a bad option, but without His guiding light, the path darkens swiftly.

Therefore, every morning for months, the second I awoke, I prayed and actively listened, yearning for direction. I heard no voice, no words from God, and no inspiration came. I must admit this became a bit frustrating as it seemed I had no time in my life to write a book anyway.

But a few months later, I was busy in my office when I turned and looked at my bookshelves. There, glaring at me, were forty-plus years of my journals. I knew immediately—it was what God had already done that He wanted me to write! Sitting there were years of God’s unforgettable moments in my life—already written. What better testimonies than my handwritten notes that I wrote never to forget? Each moment represents the evidence of God molding and shaping my life.

No one ever talked me into God. He did it Himself. My journals and my eyes have seen God prove His richness as a Father over and over again. He repeatedly points us in the right direction, and eventually, we see He has already cleared the path before us. I got it! Thank You, God. Now the question burned in my mind and heart: Did this book begin forty-plus years ago or before the earth’s foundation?

See how God is? He told me to write the book, and then (probably because I kept asking) He illuminated my journals. Sometimes you must pull on His pant legs a bit. I love and am so thankful when God puts two and two together for me simply because He knows I need Him to align His Word with how I should think and act. I’ll bet most of us cannot even count the times God brings our thoughts and words together with understanding and moments when the lightbulb flickers. And sometimes, it is a sudden flash rather than a flicker. He is, after all, the Light. It’s incredible and wonderful who He is.

Notice that the more we seek an answer from God, the more He puts the answer right in front of us in multiple ways. He doesn’t let us miss His path. How often had I walked past my bookshelves but never noticed the journals? God has a gentle way of humbling me by allowing me to see how much of a dumb sheep I am. Throughout life, He loves us, guides us, and never gives up.

Reflection, time, experience, and history convince us that God never does just one great, amazing miracle—He moves people, places, and things in a split second, and we are highly blessed if we can see even a tiny part of what He does. His mystery is in intricate disguises that twist together, working out His good and perfect plan.

As I began writing, and the more I reflected, God opened my eyes to see how little I saw or realized when I penned the experience. What seemed like coincidence and chance was weaved carefully and divinely from above. Now, after all this time, I can understand it takes years to see how vast each miracle was. And yet most likely, I may never see all God has done in even one situation this side of heaven. I am convinced that when God does anything, everything changes and is for our good. Even when it seems like He is not around, He is. Regardless of our spiritual maturity, we only see what God enables us to see and know.

I believe all of God’s children have memory stones God places in their lives. He loves all people all the time, so everyone has different but unique and blessed memory stones. If one cannot say they have memory stones from God, one is spiritually blind or simply not looking.

I love and adore that God is evident; no one has to search Him out. Our memory stones are our eyewitness encounters that no human could do except God. When I first began writing my journals, I wrote each page because of the incredible mysteriousness before my eyes. I journaled never to forget what I witnessed and what the Father had allowed me to see. In each encounter, God intervened and worked things out perfectly for everyone. What seemed like a fortunate gust of wind or an unlikely windfall was Him plucking the strings of destiny. Each journal page was written in sheer amazement and deep gratitude, so I would never forget the goodness and glory of God. No one knows more than I that I have never deserved even one day of the Lord’s favor, mercy, or grace. I still don’t and never will, but that never stops the incredible love of the Father. He always has held my hand and guided me ever so meticulously.

I wrote what I saw at the time, but only in reflection can I see I had limited, sometimes tunnel vision. A human perspective rarely can pick up the divine peripheral. It’s incredible how caught up in ourselves and the moment’s circumstances we train ourselves to be. And while we struggle to make sense of even the most minor things, God is slowly and purposefully piecing together our destiny with a gracious yet firm hand. Now the majority of my life’s path is history, so for me, God is no question alive, active, and present, just as He is with all His people.

No, that does not mean I received everything I ever asked for, and the chapters will prove that we do not always get what we pray for, but God hears and does what is right and good for us and others.

Time and age are great teachers. They have tenure in a fickle profession. When one gets to my age, if we aren’t entirely convinced God always does the right thing, we have lived a prideful, ignorant, pitiful life devoid of the inner peace of God. Every morning we are given another day to see the wonderous workings of our God. However, some never make an effort until death knocks on their door. Millions pray earnestly for those who refuse to see and acknowledge God’s wonders that surround us daily.

Today, I pray and praise differently than I had at any other time in my life because I’ve learned the answer to every question is Jesus. Another big question in determining how our life plays out is, how long do we have to be alive to figure out that God’s will is the only thing worth having? How long until we realize that the Lord has experience in this department infinite times greater than our comprehension?

Our wants and desires are as Scripture so eloquently declares: For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12, NIV). I can hardly wait to be fully known.

God has proven ten thousand lines of Scripture accurate in my life, which is now historically evident. He unfolds wisdom and mysteries as we are ready to receive them and not one second before. We are on His watch, and no matter our make or model, we are always light years behind our sovereign Father. Those willing to seek and see conscientiously and retrospectively obtain a broader understanding because our Father honors the desires of our hearts. Our genuine and pure desires continually permeate the surface that we should walk in knowledge, understanding, and the peace of God. God supernaturally grants us far greater revelation when we believe in and surrender our will to Jesus. It’s not about praying harder, volunteering more, or doing all the right things. It’s wonderfully simple: God takes care of His children who believe He will. And He does this through a measure of faith.

Yet now, after all I have witnessed and decades of Bible study, my knowledge of God is infinitely small compared to a supernatural, all-knowing Father. God is mind-boggling in that He knows all there is to know about each of us and continues to unfold mysteries and abundant grace beyond our wildest imagination. Who can wrap their mind around that?

Aging has excellent benefits; the quickness and frequency of death (just last week, my long-time friend’s heart stopped, and he was found dead in his chair) gently remind us to live rightly before the One we will soon see face-to-face. It’s a beautiful reminder that we can change our destiny every minute of life.

The wisdom of aging is to reject and refuse to hear foolish theories or philosophies—I’m pretty set: The news and the world may push and pull and pry to take the focus off what matters. And what matters is that God is the only answer, and Jesus is the only way. My eyes have seen His goodness repeatedly; I don’t need to be convinced. No programs, new age philosophies, or great tides of dissidence will sway me. I know the One true Father. I only wish I was this convinced sixty years ago.

No offense to anyone younger, but only with time can we know and see the depth, breadth, and consistency of His persistent, radiating grace, mercy, and faithfulness in and throughout us and the world. There is no secret formula because God made us unexplainably unique. Each of our journeys is unique to us. Our creation didn’t occur in a factory but in a master craftsman’s workshop. God accounts for every hair on our heads; can we imagine how finite that is? God has a plan for each one’s life; some grow old, some don’t. Some see, and some don’t. It’s His plan, not ours, and God’s all-knowing sovereignty needs no explanation. He knows what is best for each one of His creations.

Our life, no matter how long or short, is straightforward yet profound beyond imagination because we have the free will to choose thousands of options along the way. We meet and know a multitude of people, see thousands of places, and have many experiences while traveling different roads and seasons. And what can seem like a coincidence was concluded long ago. That’s God’s dynamic and magnificent plan. I would not be writing this book if God was not who He is. I’m here, breathing and writing at God’s expressed will, and so are you.

There were many times in my life when no one else on earth had any idea that I needed help, nor had any idea where I was emotionally, physically, or mentally. But God knew and was always there, consistently making Himself known. More times than I can ever count, this God orchestrated people, places, and things around me, ensuring I was in a good place. That does not mean I have not gotten myself into bad and unpleasant situations. But when I had, I never walked alone. The only faithful One I know is always with me and directs my path even when I cannot know or see a sign.

For reasons only known to God, God never once let me falter. I gave Him many reasons to let me falter, but He held me close. Now with seventy years behind me, I have unequivocal proof the Lord had me rise and walk, directing and guiding my path again and again. His arm must be sore from pulling me up so graciously time and time again. When God knew I needed human touch, He inspired and sent people to call and visit. Even if they had to kick my door down—they came. When He knew I needed an encouraging word, He sent His saints on earth to drop me a note or send a card, even if the post office was closed. Not because I deserved it but because He is genuinely relentless in His love.

I am rock-solid sure that God knows where all His people are always. Like a shepherd watching over his beloved flock. He heals us as we sleep, hears, and answers all our prayers for our good, protects us when there is danger or evil, and supplies our needs. When we believe and trust in the only One worth believing in, He cuts through all the worldly media and avalanches of everything else this world can throw at us with His unfailing love. He is the lighthouse in this stormy sea of life. We are breathing for no other reason than because God says so.

This week, a friend of mine was about to lose his job. The company was gracious as companies go, but he lost his job. He and I stood together in prayer, convinced of the goodness of God’s plan for his life. He was hoping for a week off to look for another job, and don’t you know, God provided him with a new and better position before the week was over. While he was getting ready to look for a new job, God had already found one before he lost the old one. That is His all-knowing God, coupled with the power of prayer and faith. The new job has far more opportunities for advancement and better pay, plus he got his week off. God proves every day He is the only One to believe and trust. My friend Roger believed and trusted in the One true God and that true God provided. God promises in His Word: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, NIV). There is no one like God. It seems, at times, when we think we see Him least, God is doing the most. It’s only our mind playing tricks on us. God is always supernaturally moving people, places, and things on our behalf. He is quiet, deliberate, and seems full of mystery, but His deeds, His power, and magnificence are visible. It’s who He is.

God never fails us! If your faith fails, walk on mine and the faith of millions of others. We will have disappointments, heartbreak, and failures in this life; that is inevitable, but we have a God who lives inside us and overcomes them all. In the process of life, God uses everything and everyone to build our character and inner foundation, for He is the God who knit us in our mother’s womb. He will always be with us and never fail us—not even once. Often what we perceive as failings end up being great blessings when the veil is removed.

When God wrote 1 Corinthians 13:9–12, He knew how spiritually blind we are sometimes. I’ll paraphrase. Oh, we do, at times, see in part, but considering the wonders of God, what we see is only a tiny fraction of all there is to see. Don’t you wonder just how small the part is we see? And how big the picture actually is? I do.

When we compare ourselves to others, as humans, we are inclined to think there are spiritual levels, but isn’t that man’s way of trying to judge one’s outward faith? Only God knows what He is doing in His creation’s life. Because most of us do not live intentionally for God (we live for family, jobs friends), we barely see or understand what God is physically, emotionally, and spiritually doing in us, let alone in the world around us. We don’t question the air we breathe, yet it nourishes and sustains life—so, too, is our Father God.

I confess, many times, I merely try to get through a single day, but God’s net stops living, moving, and interacting infinitesimally around the earth regardless. Everyone, my busyness, it’s easy to get blindsighted with commitments and responsibilities; nonetheless, God is still working His wonders on my behalf every minute.

The apparent bottom line is that what