The Case of Nightmare in Hostage Hills: A Practitioners Guide to the Assessment and Treatment of Victims of Batterers/Abusers/Narcissists

By Margaret M. FitzGerald L.C.S.W.

This is the “Go-To” Providers’ Practice manual for ethical, lawful, and clinically sound professional practice in the assessment and treatment of children and families enduring narcissistic abuse where I illustrate the cluster of personality characteristics of abusers and demonstrate their pattern of battering and abuse tactics laying it all out clearly for providers to accurately assess the criminal behavior by a narcissist/batterer before children become absorbed into the hate campaign for their other parent and left in toxic dangerous home environments at risk for death and/or serious psychological injury which lasts a lifetime.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9781973699316

Margaret M. FitzGerald L.C.S.W.

Margaret FitzGerald, L.C.S.W. is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice and editor of Nightmare in Hostage Hills. As a friend of Christina Mask, author of her and her children’s true story detailed in Nightmare in Hostage Hills, I have written a Professional Practice Manual for practitioners which details all the wrong steps by various professionals in a custody court case, the correct assessment tools-interviews, checklists, laws enforced, therapeutic directives, etc that should have been done, and finally how to implement these evidence-based interventions to protect children and their mothers from abuse by law and by professional clinical practice.

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Copyright © 2023 Margaret M. FitzGerald, L.C.S.W.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-9930-9 (sc)

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WestBow Press rev. date: 07/19/2023

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1       The Child’s Voice

Chapter 2       Relentless Decimation of Mother’s and Children’s Rights

Chapter 3       Battering: Beware of Haphazard Conclusions

Chapter 4       Battering is NOT a Mental Health issue-These Guys are Criminals

Chapter 5       Shredded by a Malignant Narcissist: Reckless Endangerment of Mother and Children"

Personality of a Malignant Narcissist

Inauthenticity of a narcissist: something not quite right -a disconnect

Domination/Power and Control/Compassion of a tic

Jekyll or Hyde

Betrayal/Entitlement/Attitude of Ownership of Family Members

Chapter 6       Terrorist in the Home

Chapter 7       Your Mother is a Harlot

Chapter 8       History of Domestic Violence? ‘Unsafe’ Practices

Chapter 9       Spellbound and Traumatized

Chapter 10     Precious Ones Led to the Slaughter

Chapter 11     Where’s the Rope of Justice to Hogtie the Abuser?

Chapter 12     Children of a Batterer: Weapons of Abuse

Chapter 13     Hostage Camp/DV By Proxy/Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter 14     Destruction of Love/Rewriting of History

Chapter 15     Batterer’s Arsenal: His Children

Chapter 16     Medical malpractice-Pediatricians

Chapter 17     Malpractice/Malfeasance of School Officials

Chapter 18     Gaslighting/Incessant Lying/Smear Campaign

Chapter 19     Collusion of Professionals/Malpractice/Misdiagnosis/Malfeasance

Chapter 20     Evidence Ignored

Chapter 21     Evaluators’/Supervisors’/Therapists’ Malfeasance

Chapter 22     Court-appointed Evaluators and Therapists practiced outside their realm of competence-Malpractice

Chapter 23     More Evidence Ignored

Chapter 24     Rest Assured-The Almighty Dollar had the Upper Hand

Chapter 25     Stepping into Pit of Slime? Had no Idea Family Court was Organized Crime.

Chapter 26     Trusting Professionals with Double Degrees Left Mother Bereft and Broken on her Knees

Chapter 27     Law on the Side of the People? Due Process Undone

Chapter 28     Flatulence: Inflated or Pretentious Speech or Writing=>Child Custody Evaluations

Chapter 29     Long-Term Negative Consequences to the Children

Chapter 30     Solution: Protocol That Should Have Been Used to Stop the Carnage Years Ago

References

Risk Assessments Bibliography

Bibliography

The Case of Nightmare in Hostage Hills: A Practitioners Guide to the Assessment and Treatment of Victims of Batterers/Abusers/Narcissists

Introduction

Most of the public, like most professionals, are unaware of the catastrophe taking place in America’s family courts. This is because, until recently, the problem has received very limited coverage. Nightmare in Hostage Hills book is important because it combines the two things that are needed: an interesting and, indeed, compelling story and the research that puts the story in perspective.Forward, Nightmare in Hostage Hills, xii, Barry Goldstein, Esq., 2018}This is the professional practice manual to accompany Nightmare in Hostage Hills available at www.christinamask.com

As you enter this dark world of narcissism/battering/terrorism of one’s spouse and family, one must take a different stance as a clinician as you sift through the pieces of humanity that are before you in your office having survived predation, spiritual and psychological consumption by a creature-abuser parent- who thirsts for conquering the soul, devouring the psyche of its victim whether psychological death or physical or both. It is the ultimate evil on our planet which is being exposed in this book. The utmost acceptance of where your client is-psychologically and spiritually captured, fragmented, still suffering effects of terrorism and war waged upon him or her is often evident in the eyes- unable to stay focused, anxiety, or a body shivering in PTSD as pieces of a human being victimized by a psychopath/batterer are held intact by survival.

The outside appearance- academic, physical, employment, community- performance may be stellar or diminished as human beings will often excel in areas of their lives where they do have control in abuse cases and/or isolate from normal activities and diminished functioning may result. This is the presentation of a child or adult victim of a malignant narcissist. Treating such a person demands the most profound respect of the human psyche to survive and work to recover from the talons of a malignant narcissist which are likened to emerging from the tactics of a cult leader in his domination of victims. Pieces and fragments of a soul slowly come back when proper intervention provides them with avenues of safety away from abusiveness and acumen in PTSD/CPTSD treatment to heal. Expertise in compassion and understanding where your client is in space and time emotionally and spiritually is required from a clinician in working with such victims.

The central goal in structuring custody and visitation in domestic violence cases should be the safety and security of the child’s primary residence and support for the healthy flourishing of the child’s relationships with his or her siblings and with the mother. {The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics, 2nd Ed., Bancroft, Silverman, & Ritchie, 2012, p. 250} {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 147}

Chapter 1

The Child’s Voice

Left to be shredded by a terrorist/predator are children and spouses of men who on the outside appear as respectable members of the community, coaching our kids’ soccer teams, serving as upstanding members of our church community, acting as Board members at the hospital or trustees at the local YMCA and are envied by others for their high-paying jobs or the affluent neighborhoods in which they and our families live. Victims of malignant narcissists must suppress behaviors which do not align with the tyrant’s agenda of power and control for there are dire consequences to children and/or spouses. As Dr. Craig Childress so eloquently expresses how a child strives to survive the environment of a narcissist parent from Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 38:

p.38 As long as the child must live in the world of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent, as long as we cannot protect the child from the psychopathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent, the child must find a way to psychologically survive in that world. …Dr. Childress continues through an intuitive, empathic experience of a child experiencing what you guys may have had to endure in his 1st session with the child on a visit with their victimized/ targeted mother:

Child (in her mind’s imagination): Dr. Childress, can you help me escape from here? I’m trapped, buried deep inside. I don’t want to reject my mother. I love my mother. But I have to reject her because it’s what my dad requires me to do. He’ll torment me if I don’t. Can you rescue me? Can you help me escape from here?

Dr. C (in my mind’s imagination): I’ll see what I can do.

Child (in her mind’s imagination): But Dr. Childress, don’t get me half way out. Because if you only get me half way out my dad will torment me for showing affection for my mom, for not rejecting my mom. If you can’t rescue me, if you can’t get me all the way out, then just leave me here.

Dr. C (in my mind’s imagination): Okay, I’ll see what I can do.

"Help me. My authenticity is trapped deep inside here. Please, I want you to rescue me.

But if you can’t get me all the way out, if you can’t rescue me, then leave me here, because otherwise the pathological parent will torment me if I try to escape but can’t get fully away."

At least if my authenticity is buried deep inside, hidden beyond my awareness, then it’s safe. If you expose it but cannot protect it, then the narcissistic/(borderline) parent will destroy it. {Stark Reality, https://drcraigchildressblog.com/2014/07/29/stark-reality/ p. 2-3, Dr. Craig Childress, 2014}

DSM-5 Diagnosis

309.4 Adjustment Disorder with mixed disturbance of emotions and conduct

V61.20 Parent-Child Relational Problem

V61.29 Child Affected by Parental Relationship Distress

V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse, Confirmed

{The Hostage Metaphor for Parental Alienation, https://drcachildress-consulting.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/The-Hostage-Metaphor-Childress-2014.pdf

Childress, C.A. PsyD., (2014), p. 11-14}){Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.38}

All family members are suffering trauma in the home of a narcissist batterer-complex PTSD in mother and children which you will see misdiagnosis and diagnostic mislabeling of each of the symptoms of PTSD displayed in mother and children enduring their travesty of abuse and malpractice by all professionals throughout this true white-collar crime saga recorded in Nightmare in Hostage Hills and misdiagnosed by all professionals which constitutes malfeasance. I have included strategic legal and clinical instructions here in this playbook to prevent this travesty of injustice, malpractice, and abuse from ever occurring again.

That is why Nightmare in Hostage Hills book is essential instruction for practitioners who work with children and families. It is an autobiography co-authored by me, Margaret M. FitzGerald as an LCSW detailing the true story and actual case study of the step by step process of abuse and battering against children and their mother with not one sanction, no Due Process of law, no effective mental health intervention ever enacted nor legally enforced to stop the rogue renegading abuser’s predation of his own family.

We have to set the captives free. Listen to the child’s voice with our educated and intuitive ears to hear what they are not able to verbalize.

Chapter 2

Relentless Decimation of Mother’s and Children’s Rights

The problem of coming to terms with endemic abuses of power also pertains to crimes of sexual and domestic violence. Because subordination of women and children has been so deeply embedded in our culture, the use of force against women and children has only recently been recognized as a violation of basic human rights. {Trauma and Recovery: the aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terrorism, Herman, J. M.D., 1997, p. 230}

Signs, symptoms, and strategies which judges, lawyers, doctors, nurses, school officials, police officers, caregivers, supervisors, family members, and mental health professionals must be well-versed in for Rule of law to prevail to protect children and families from predation by these savage abusers:

- Held hostage away from mother as well as maternal family events for unverified reasons. It’s the abuser not wanting to be found out for what he has done/is doing to the children {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.178-9, 181, 188, 207, 499, 503, 526, 528, 539}. Pay attention to patterns: number of incidents/violations, excuses, lies he is sick or he says he doesn’t want to see you or we are busy, number of times abuser delays/cancels appointments/hearings, fails to follow through with therapeutic directives, delays court hearings, threats to move children out of state or country, visitation interference/ time and reasons abuser reports to keep children away from mother fear for safety claims, etc. (as brainwashing occurs over just a matter of weeks to innocent children) in these cases. Lies, reasons abuser gives for avoiding having children visit their mother- Even crack mothers who achieve a few months drug-free have their children back.

- Terrorized on phone calls with mother by abuser parent-violation of custody orders {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 161, 189, 195, 273}

- Initially child/ren try to stay connected with mother then child surrenders to the hostage taker as abuser terrorizes his own child/ren for loving their mother and wanting to spend time with her which results in child expressing a desire to take a break from all contact as abuse left unbridled by mental health and family law professionals. Leaving a child in this pathological environment is most damaging… {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.237}

- Asking for special items that remind them of their mother which are then destroyed, trashed by abuser {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.174}

- Psychosomatic symptoms/ACE’s: stomachaches, headaches, trouble sleeping, anxiety

All 3 children suffered Leonard blames his mother for making him physically sick. He noted that he has gotten nauseous when he can’t stop thinking about the situation. {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 136, 303, 340, 497, 614}

- Fear and distortion of danger and unsafe claims created in children for their mother. {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.160} Children’s perception and relationship with their victimized parent will become twisted by the lies and abuse by the narcissist batterer’s unfathomably cruel behavioral conditioning within a matter of weeks. They become groomed in a hate-camp for the mother by the abuser. Think Patty Hearst case. Think Pavlov dogs in classical conditioning behaviorism theory-reward and punishment- to shape behavior where children are rewarded for treating their mother like a leper and shamed, beaten, punished, kicked to the curb when they show any love, desire for their mother. Abusers use intermittent reinforcement which is the most powerful form of behavioral conditioning in shaping behavior in human beings. Favoring/punishing…violence/privileges.

- Intermittent reinforcement is a common feature of abusive relationships because in many cases, the period of abuse is combined with outbursts of affection, which is confusing at first but over time… {https://myfamilypsychologist.com/what-is-intermittent-reinforcement}

- Fear created in children for their mother by lies fabricated by abuser parent: You have to go visit your mother this weekend…I don’t know if you want to eat her meals though… just be careful as I don’t know what she puts in the food lately. Inferring danger, poisoning…creating fear and lies that mother is dangerous and not safe.

- Violence is often part of this abusive process of erasing of children’s love for their mother. I consulted on a case where a young girl cried for her mother yearning to spend time with her and father punched her in the mouth and gave her a fat lip. That shut her up in ever crying for her mother for 20 years ongoing. Extinction in B.F. Skinner’s operant conditioning behaviorism theory. Mother has not heard from her since…20 years ongoing alienation due to abuser father’s vicious tactics.

- Attitude of fear and unsafety exclaimed by batterer who plays the victim as he continues to create fear in the child/ren for their own mother as children are subject to his ongoing rewiring of reality and brainwashing. {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.89} and become quickly consumed into the hate/fear camp abuser has created for their own mother. It is a profound and deeply disturbing form of abuse. Only sociopaths could think this up.

- Refer to family as "us vs her They view the broken family in terms of us versus him or her. The more entrenched the identification, the less able the child is to accept positive gestures or sentiments from the target parent. Perceiving the target parent as acting against us, any positive features that the targeted parent possesses are reinterpreted as intended to inflict hurt." {Children Held Hostage: Dealing with Programmed and Brainwashed Children, Clawar and Rivlin, 1991, pp.72-75} {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.163}

- Severe enmeshment The child who works simultaneously with one parent and against the other is typically operating in collusion with the brainwasher and will be unable to maintain a positive relationship with the target parent. {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 163} When I returned to my home of 13 years, at the front door were my daughter and my husband as if they were a pair blocking my entrance into our home.

- Incestual relationship of the batterer with child/ren: "An incest perpetrator may put particular focus on damaging the mother-daughter connection (Leberg, 1997)… When Jade and I were sitting in our library on the couch together going over her homework, Charles came in and knelt in front of our daughter, totally ignoring me as if I weren’t present although I was sitting side by side with my daughter. He quietly said, Should I go upstairs and run you a hot bath? Maybe I will put candles all around the tub for you, as he leaned into her on the couch acting as if I were invisible." {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 74}

- Child/ren’s love and affection for their mother transformed into an attitude of disdain and contempt towards her: Youngest son, Leonard, from I want to go see my Mom. to "you are just our birthmother…just go rot"{Nightmare in Hostage Hills p.165, 265,444} Daughter Jade: From P.S. I will always love you!! To "I hate you" (17X) {Nightmare in Hostage Hills p. 34, 265, 445} in letter for custody evaluator who should have stopped the abuse in this case at this moment as Jade was twisted into the role of an agent of abuse for the batterer against her mother.

- Severing of relationships: No connection with Jade at all throughout her high school nor college career. {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 463, 527} She was 12 years old at onset of custody massacre. She will be 32 years old this summer and no contact with her mother ongoing.

- Child behavior changes drastically within a few weeks if no proper intervention by law and mental health-from love and affection of child/ren for their mother to anxiety, fear, disdain and contempt of her revealed in verbal and nonverbal communication. Leonard hanging up on mother when she calls for her court-ordered call with Zach. Ignoring her very existence at events. Treating her like an outsider, leper, or estranged aunt at family gatherings.

- Threats to run away if forced to see victimized parent {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.272}

- Identification with the aggressor {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 42, 109, 152, 272}mimicking attitudes and behaviors of abuser: Jade hanging up on me just like her father

- Dissing, contempt, utter disrespect {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 61, 287}: Jade’s behavior in {p. 570 Nightmare in Hostage Hills} Flipping the bird at her mother while father abuser co-signs this egregious insult with a smile or smirk condoning this behavior against her mother…

- Leonard’s behavior in {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.330, 444}"I will punch you in the face if I have to see you"

- Name calling-terms intended to belittle, dehumanize, demean ex. you are a scumbag" {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.56, 108, 264, 276, 445}

- Erasure of memories of loving times with mother {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 271, 363, 436}

- Erasure of any positive regard for mother I don’t want to see you and I don’t want you to try involve yourself in my life. I hope you get cancer and die.{Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.104, 225, 284}

- Denial of existence/Pretending mother invisible {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.37, 62, 74, 79,134, 445}

- False memories: "false memories of hatred created in him for his mother."{Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 47, 479} How is this not addressed, documented, reported to CYS, and the abuser prosecuted from child abuse as this sign typifies abuse of a child?

- Behaves/speaks as if child were a ventriloquist puppet of the batterer: the hostage is voicing the inserted beliefs and desired expressions of the hostage taker… {Dr. Childress, Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.108, 271}

- Using adult language as abuser uses children as conduits of his abuse why don’t you just do a settlement with Dad….sign off on the farm {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 277, 99, 255, 330}

- Triangulation: rearranging of family structure-elevating children to parent status.

I know what triangulation is, looks like, and feels like. It is when a child becomes elevated to the status of a spouse by the other parent. A child becomes parentified which robs him/her of her own developmental maturation needs and depletes the stream of parental love a child needs and deserves from the parent to mature as an individual into mature, healthy adulthood. The child is made to become the caretaker of the needs of a parent. Narcissistic parents create this pendulum to an extreme as a child is robbed existentially of their own personality and identity as he/she becomes consumed by the narcissistic demands and the insatiable needs of a carnivorous narcissistic parent.{Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p. 69}

- Evidence of damaged attachment to mother: Dad has a girlfriend. We don’t need you anymore. {Nightmare in Hostage Hills, p.278, 444}

Questions for Assessment of each child in private: (Adapted from Domestic Violence Interview Guide, Battered Women’s Justice Project, Minneapolis, Minnesota)

How do you feel about spending time with your mother?

Do you have any fears about being in the same room or same building with your Dad/Mom?

What’s the scariest thing someone has ever done to you?

What have you been feeling since your parents separated? Have you felt safe at home since your parents’ separation? (post-separation is heightened time of risk for abuse to children by a batterer)

What would make you feel more comfortable in spending time with your mother? (phone, visit, face-to-face)

Are you afraid when you are with your Dad/Mom? Can you share with me what makes you feel afraid?

Do you talk about your mother at home-memories, fun times together? (does child report some good memories or are they she was just bad- black and white/all or nothing thinking-red flag of abuse)

What is it like at home when you or a family member brings up an issue or memory of your mother? Are you afraid to mention anything about your mom? What happens or do you think would happen to you or your siblings if you were to mention your mom or any feeling of love for her?

Is there any abuse going on in your home? Have you ever felt scared at home? How can I help you feel safe? Tell me a little bit more so I can understand and better help you.

Chapter 3

Battering: Beware of Haphazard Conclusions

Solution: accurate clinical assessment of battering tactics/DV/IPV. Risk assessments of family members. Legal prosecution of criminal batterers. Due Process enacted. Enforcement of the law of such criminals at 1st offense.

Not until Christina landed at her 3rd treatment center, were the professionals skilled at accurate assessment of her diagnosis of ‘battered woman syndrome" which although documented and submitted to her attorneys, evaluators, and therapists working with the family was overlooked/ignored by all professionals throughout their entire custody bloodbath. This diagnosis had remarkable impact on how she and her children should have been handled by the law and mental health professionals as it meant there was a batterer in the home; therefore, Christina and her children required assessment and treatment based on this diagnostic fact of domestic violence dynamics research, theory, and evidence-based practice. The batterer should have been immediately arrested and prosecuted but instead was given sole custody of their children without Christina, their mother, who was smeared, pathologized, terrorized, and finally exiled from their young lives to protect, love, nurture them as she had done their children’s entire childhoods as their mother, primary attachment figure, and fit parent.

Here is a list of battering/gaslighting tactics you will see as you progress through this true crime story. Check out the movie Gaslight (1944) or The Undoing movie series (2020) to witness how these predators operate and the impact of these tactics used by batterers/psychopaths upon family members and others.

Batterer/Abuser/Narcissist Tactics to Assess for in Court cases:

- Abuse-emotional, spiritual, physical, financial, and psychological (control easily overlooked by practitioners)

- Lying, lying, lying…relentless lying and conning with a straight face. smooth operator

- Gaslighting: psychologically manipulative of his victims where they lose their sense of truth and intuition

- Power and control: keeping victims under his thumb in his predatory agenda

- Manipulation

- Isolating the children gives abuser time to brainwash/poison the young minds of children

- Playing the victim

- Projection onto the victimized parent-his behaviors of adultery, calling her psycho

- Sabotage of relationships

- Obstruction of justice acting as if he is outside of the law, relentless ignoring of laws

- Consulting/hiring best lawyers in town but not utilizing their services just to prevent spouse from hiring them

- Relentless pursuit of agenda-steal, pillage, and plunder everyone and everything

- Severing children’s ties with mother

- Alienation of children

- Using children as weapons of abuse, leverage

- Boundary violations

- Cultlike enmeshment with children