Dawn of Desolation: Poetic Expression, #1

By Ley Chaudhary

A composition of feelings, a look into a two year battle with depression and anxiety.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ley C.
• Release date: Jun 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223393375

Book preview

To all the people who believed in me

And to all the people that cared.

Table of Contents

-  Section 1: The Beginning

-  From Heart to Brain

-  Grown Up Me

-  Fake Living

-  Shattered to Dust

-  Hot and Cold

-  Happy

-  Never Know

-  Dead of Night

-  This is not Happiness

-  Section 2: Healing?

-  Flightless Bird

-  Stranger in my own Body

-  In Nothingness

-  The Wind

-  Left Breast Pocket

-  Inside my Heart

-  Erased from Reality

-  Somber Rays of Moonlight

-  Justice with a Rusted Scale

-  Suicide Note

-  Trickle of Red

-  Section 3: Enlightenment

-  Addiction

-  On the Rope

-  Rid of what is Mine

-  Drowning

-  Social Solitude

-  Thy God Above

-  Love Me

-  Angel with Bloody Wings

-  Cycle

-  Yearn for my Fall

-  Branches or Leaves?

-  Astray

-  Media Trial

-  Shallow

-  Oh, Eternal God!

-  Society Rules

-  Telephone Pole

-  Support

-  Make it out, Alive

-  Me

-  Realize

-  Inner Monologue

-  Loneliness, or Solitude

-  Question

-  Section 4: Miscellaneous

-  Yearbook

-  Summer Alone

-  3:28 AM

-  Portal

-  Unconsolable Sobs

-  Section 5: Thoughts

-  5/7/2022

-  5/12/2022

-  5/21/2022

-  6/25/2022

-  10/3/2022

-  12/16/2022

-  1/5/2023

-  1/15/2023

-  1/18/2023

-  3/3/2023

-  3/11/2023

-  3/17/2023

-  3/22/2023

-  5/6/2023

-  5/16/2023

-  5/17/2023

-  5/20/2023

––––––––

Section 1: Beginning

From Heart to Brain

the happiness in my heart

does not reach my brain

as the smile on my face

does not reach my eyes

the mask that covers my happiness

also covers my pain

Grown Up Me

to think about the future

is impossible for me

because all I see

is nothing but defeat

It would probably be better

if I didn't see

anything at all

there is no grown up me

Fake Living

to fake living

is a normal task

for people like me

who are already dead

so I'll fake living

today too

so you don't worry

that I'm through

Shattered to Dust

being ok is never that easy

it's easier to wear a mask

because i cannot pick up the pieces

if they're shattered to dust

Hot and Cold

the hot and cold love

of the narcissistic mother

leads her kids

on the path to death

the only thing

that stops their travel

is the fear of

what will happen next

Happy

whether it's buying with impulse

or eating until I'm full

it seems that I never

can feel happy

so I'll stop trying

and give up my hobbies

because it seems selfish

to try to be

happy