Divorce Deny it? Accept it?

By Gonzalo de la Fuente

Reaching the point of separating from the person who is meant to be "the love of your life" is a situation that generates an emotional impact, not only on the members of the couple but also affects the immediate environment. Knowing that the person to whom she entrusted her life "doesn't love her anymore" influences the thoughts and feelings one has about oneself "Am I no longer worth anything?" However, the factors and causes that lead to the dissolution of a sentimental and legal union are better understood over time.

The truth is that no matter how turbulent the facts are, as the months and years go by, the shock, anger, vital disorganization, and reproaches are left behind, and through mourning an extremely promising scenario opens up. for those who know how to use it

This book will help you to understand what are the causes of a divorce, and it will help you to analyze if you are being objectively aware of your decision. You will find a guide to be able to judge if it is worth trying to save the couple, or in which cases that attempt can only lead to greater chaos. If the decision is to offer a new opportunity, you must know how to achieve it so as not to fail again by making the same mistakes. On the contrary, if the position is unyielding, you will know how to overcome feelings of loneliness, and sadness, and how to keep the other person away so that her life is empowered again.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ediciones Afrodita
• Release date: May 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223167044

Book preview

Divorce

Deny it? accept it?

The right way

to face the inevitable

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Gonzalo de la Fuente

Ediciones Afrodita

cover image of Morgan Harper-Nichols –Pixabay-

Content

Chap. 1 General concepts

Chap. 2 Trying to Save the Marriage

Chap. 3 How to end a relationship

Chap. 4 Accept the breakup

Chap. 5 Anticipate Future Breakups

Chapter 1

General concepts

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Divorce is not something to be viewed lightly, as there are usually many important adjustments that need to be made both for the two people directly involved in the process and for all other connective elements within the framework of the marriage, such as children and parents. assets.

Before contemplating a divorce option, ideally, both parties should exhaust all other options to ensure the relationship is no longer salvageable. Only then should the idea of separation be considered. Even then, divorce is not something that can be easily initiated as there are quite a few requirements that need to be met before such a procedure can take place.

The following are some of the elements that should be considered and understood as the basis for divorce:

Before most separation proceedings can be initiated, most legal proceedings are interested in knowing that the couple has exhausted all other means to try to work things out in order to maintain the relationship. These would include counseling sessions, intervention from legal and friendly sources to help get the marriage back on track, and any other help to prevent the dissolution of the marriage. It is not that the decision of those involved is not respected, but the marriage bond that gives rise to the family is considered of vital importance for society.

However, if a divorce is unavoidable, then other items such as marital property and debts should be worked out and agreed upon to avoid potential hiccups during the process. Depending on the couple's individual circumstances, these procedures can be very easy or difficult to accomplish.

If there are children in the equation, their well-being and other connection issues, such as relocation, and mental and physical changes to adjust to, should also be considered.

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Abuse should never be allowed

In some cases, divorce becomes the only resource to seek, when there is a history of abuse within the couple. When there is any sign of violence that must be endured and is supported by relevant and indisputable evidence, then the divorce procedure should and could be contemplated without many problems.

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No way

However, it must be taken into account that in almost all cases the responsibility for proving the existence of acts of family violence falls on the victim; Therefore, factors such as manipulation, submission, and threats intervene here, which make it challenging to make the decision to break the family bond, for which reason external advice becomes essential.

This abuse does not necessarily have to be only of a physical kind, since mental or emotional and economic abuse is also considered equally destructive and its consequences are difficult to overcome or adjust to.

Physical abuse is easier to identify and support with very clear and adequate evidence, however, by comparison, mental/psychological abuse can be much more difficult to detect, let alone substantiate with the relevant evidence needed for the prosecution to be initiated. the cycle of legal proceedings.

It is an argumentative point of contention as to where and how this element of abuse can be labeled or defined unless the abuse assumes and shows very clear visible negative results. This then leads to other issues, such as how long and how much the presence of abuse has affected the marriage. However, it must be clarified that in many countries the requirement of violence is not necessary for divorce, but rather the explicit wish of the parties that they do not wish to continue with the relationship is sufficient. This is understandable because if both do not want to continue because they no longer feel mutual affection, no one should force them to continue together, don't you think?

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Has counseling been tried?

Counseling is another requirement that must be explored and exhausted before any legal proceedings regarding the filing of a divorce petition can proceed. In most cases, there are many avenues that should be considered before any court is willing to hear a case asking for the divorce action to be initiated.

Marriage counseling can also be used to facilitate a more peaceful and expeditious way to go through the divorce process while trying to limit the impact of negativity on both parties and any other connecting elements that require significant adjustments due to the divorce.

Strange as it may seem, sometimes these counseling sessions will help the couple focused on the divorce resolve issues in a calm and less defensive manner, thus facilitating a greater level of calm and civility within the legal process.

However, the main reason for seeking some type of counseling is still the main way to try to save the marriage and regain some of the original spark in the relationship.

The counselor can come in the form of a professional individual who is specifically trained in this area, people who have experienced volunteers who form support groups, religious intervention, or any other legalized help that contributes positively to saving the marriage and returning it to a more acceptable situation.

The sessions are generally designed to allow both parties to vocalize their feelings and thoughts in a protective and supportive way. Having an outsider who has no special bond with the parties and who is trained to remain neutral helps in somewhat confusing and difficult circumstances.

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Are you staying alone for the kids?

There are many people who stay in a bad marriage for the sake of their children. This has its own advantages and disadvantages, but if the negative impact that these discordant feelings often cause within the marriage framework is not well managed, it will end up causing more harm than good to everyone involved.

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Children?

Staying in a bad marriage, for the sake