Belonging: Secrets to Soothe the Soul

By Eve Evangelista, Dr. Nané Cheung, Carol Iacobucci and 6 more

It can be challenging to feel like you don't belong, like you're on the outside looking in. That feeling of exclusion and loneliness can be so painful.
But there is hope, that's what this book is all about. Nine incredible women have come together to share their stories of struggle and triumph. Each story is a pearl in a beautiful string, connected by the thread of belonging. As you read these stories, you'll feel the expanse of human emotion - the expectation, excitement, and joyfulness that comes from finding your place in the world.
Through the common humanity that connects us, we see ourselves in others. A reminder we're all in this together.
This book is a gift, created with love by women for women. It's written to uplift and inspire, to bring you a sense of hope and joy. Dive in, be entertained, delighted, and share in the personal victories of these amazing women. As you read, may you find your own path to belonging, and know that you are loved and valued just as you are.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Apr 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9798765239940

Eve Evangelista

Eve Evangelista is the author of Rise of Sea-Landers, the first book of the Sea-Landers Trilogy. Through promoting her book, she has connected with her audience, reminding them that dreams are too vital not to pursue and to pass the torch to help others move forward in life. She is presently writing about Small Shifts: Changing Your Life in Big Waves, looking at life from the soul’s perspective in order to savor and live life to the fullest. She loves to travel and currently lives in Northern California. http://www.eveevangelista.com http://www.EveEvangelista.com

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Copyright © 2023 Eve Evangelista, Dr. Nané Cheung, Carol Iacobucci, Marie LoPresti Morin, Rosemarie Allen, Caroline Connolly, Taz Chaudry, Bobbie Malatesta, Therese Lafleche.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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ISBN: 979-8-7652-3993-3 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3995-7 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3994-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023904284

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/13/2023

Contents

Introduction

Section I: Finding Community

Chapter 1 One Day I Woke Up

By Dr. Nané Cheung

Chapter 2 The Adventure is Well Worth the Effort

By Carol Iacobucci

Section II: Belonging Beyond Trauma

Chapter 3 The Heat and Sweetness of Family

By Marie LoPresti Morin

Chapter 4 Treasures at the End of the Rainbow

By Rosemarie Allen

Section III: Serving Others

Chapter 5 The Calling

By Caroline Connolly

Chapter 6 The Guid Folk

By Taz Chaudry

Section IV: Learning Self-Love

Chapter 7 My Journal My Saving Grace

By Eve Evangelista

Chapter 8 How Addiction Led Me to Acceptance

By Bobbie Malatesta

Chapter 9 Becoming a World Citizen

By Therese Lafleche

Epilogue

Contributing Authors

Introduction

Enjoy nine unique stories about moving beyond isolation and loneliness, about moving beyond the trauma of abuse, divorce, and addiction, to finding a larger meaning and the way the human spirit triumphs over adversity. These stories capture the essence of life learning, our innate desire to rise above, our drive to find connection and a deeper meaning in life. This is a book about finding your way to Belonging.

This book can inspire you if you have ever felt alone, discouraged, or traumatized as a child. If you have ever longed for a better life, for more meaning, for a way to connect — these authors can share some insights. If you want to be transported through stories about triumph and finding greater meaning in life - this book can take you there.

These heartfelt memoirs show women finding community and learning about self-love.

The stories in this book are from very different women, yet they are bound together by a cord of truth and love and a desire to share their wisdom in a very vulnerable, honest, and powerful way.

Born from a deep desire to belong, these women found each other online through seemingly random yet synchronistic events. A sense of community and belonging developed as they came together in a circle of strength. The women met every week for over a year. They met not because they were bound by work or some other social contract. They continued to meet out of friendship and a deep bond of sisterhood. As their friendship expanded, this passion project was born. As they got to know each other, they shared the hard-won life wisdom that enabled them to rise up and overcome. They shared the experiences that allowed them to triumph. As time went on it became obvious that their stories needed to be shared to help and serve others. Each story is rich in wisdom with nuggets of golden light sprinkled throughout. These words are shared to help guide you on your way.

• Nané takes us on a journey that lands her full circle with a direct connection from her spirit to the spirit of others.

• Carol thought she knew how life would be yet found herself feeling all alone and looking for love in all the wrong places. Her adventures led to rich wisdom and a powerful secret to happiness.

• Marie shares the heat and sweetness of family life steeped in dysfunction and how, out of those experiences, one can witness the extraordinary.

• Rosemarie embraces the priceless gift of abandonment. She triumphs in the glory of who she has become because of the gifts masked by misfortune.

• Caroline, a once painfully shy Irish girl, longed to be free and dance. Discover what she encounters as she wanders out into the big world alone; learn what she finds that sets her free.

• Taz shares her gift from The Guid folk. It’s a gift freely given, full of magic, and creates a roadmap to great riches, transforming the ordinary into the never-ending extraordinary.

• Eve finds a fairy tale life then has it come crashing down. Her dream life, broken apart, leads her to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes, uplifting others along the way.

• Bobbie takes us on a journey sharing how a life of addiction gives her a special gift and leads her to feelings of self-acceptance.

• Therese shares a thoughtful exploration of what belonging means. Her sense of wanderlust ignites her passions and a deep knowing that we don’t belong to a certain culture or country. Rather, we come from it. Journey along as she shares her thoughts and experiences in a personal, guided exploration through the landscape of belonging.

The bones of this book are the bones of Belonging. Belonging is a feeling of home. It’s a warm, calm feeling. It’s an experience that can be had anywhere, with anyone, yet we often wander through life feeling isolated, alone, and misunderstood.

Take a moment for yourself and get transported to a safe place where you can find connection through these heartfelt stories. Give yourself the gift of feeling grace from the lessons shared in these raw, honest words. Soak in the authenticity and vulnerability that opens a pathway to the heart. As these women share their lives, let their courage lift you up to that brave space where your story can shine.

Join us; leave your loneliness behind.

Let these stories inspire you to find a sense of connection and inner strength. Let these women lift you up and show you how they rose up and found hope, love, and a way to always belong.

SECTION I

Finding Community

CHAPTER 1

One Day I Woke Up

By Dr. Nané Cheung

T he sun was brightly streaming in through the window; I remember sitting on a chair with my arms resting on the kitchen table. The window faced a courtyard — well, not exactly a courtyard. It was more like the concrete jungle in between tenement buildings where kids hung out in the summer to escape their parents and where women hung their laundry on the clothesline. This was downtown Brooklyn, where there were people of every color, immigrants from every country, and native-born Americans.

I remember it as a warm summer day because through my closed eyes, I could feel the intense sun and its heat on my face. There was stillness all around me. Whenever I think of this moment, I remember it as my first thought, my first memory. I sat as if transfixed, like my brain had just woken up from a deep sleep. I remember asking myself, Why am I here? What is my purpose? Was I looking for an answer? No, looking back, I understand it was more like an awareness of the moment.

Since I was about four years old then, I now know it was such a lofty question. There it was: my first waking moment when I realized I was alive. So profound, so perfectly aware of the intensity. As a moment in time, it feels perfectly me. This is the me that is on the alert, so sensitive to my feelings and wondering about the feelings of everyone else.

As a child, I never wanted to sleep. When adults stayed up late, I wanted to stay up with them and listen in on everything that was said. So curious that I dared not miss one second of the conversation. After my mother would tell me to go to my room and go to sleep, I would leave, then quickly return to peek around the corner so I could still listen in. It was both a feeling that I didn’t want to miss anything and a feeling that I belonged with the adults. And yet, my mother didn’t include me! Why not? I had opinions and could discuss most topics of the day. I wanted to listen; I wanted to speak, and I wanted to be heard. I was always asking questions and always seeking answers. I believe that defines me.

People were curious to know what I was feeling deep down. I often got the feedback, I don’t really know who you are. I wasn’t sure what they meant. I shared, I expressed, I conversed, I was knowledgeable about current affairs. But now I know what they really meant. My laughter hid my true feelings. I never shared my deepest, darkest feelings and fears or that raw feeling that overcame me frequently.

I was a strange, sensitive being; I just felt everything, and so much more. I never quite knew where I fit in. Who was I? What was I supposed to do? What was I to study? Who would I become? That dynamic didn’t change much as I got older. I kept asking questions, but no one was giving me answers that satisfied me. What is my purpose? It’s the search that I’ve been on, the question I have asked for all my life. That first moment I asked the question really haunts me when I think back to it. It represents my contemplative side, which I rarely allow people to be part of. No one ever gets to see it.

My life has seemed to circle around these memories of my childhood, which have had a profound impact on my inner world.

I didn’t dream the dreams of little girls who wanted marriage, husbands, and children. Already grown up, even when I was a little girl. Instead, I wanted to fly, like in my dreams, and circle far and wide. I just didn’t know how my life journey would take me to some parts unknown. And so, I traveled between my soaring dreams and my many deep, dark fears. And when my fears overwhelmed me, I told no one. I feared the darkness; I feared death and the unknown state of eternity. I never shared that side of myself. Instead, I created a magical world of wonder. I didn’t fit in, but no matter, because my ability to create my inner sanctum was taking hold.

My mother always told me I was a crybaby, that I never wanted to leave her side. Her younger sister, my Aunt Theresa, confirmed this. No one else wanted to explore those questions with me—too deep, too inquisitive! I never enjoyed hearing or seeing pictures of me crying with Santa. I understand how that apparent helplessness and clingy-ness propelled me to the other far range because I’ve worked hard all my life to be the happy-go-lucky positive girl that I am. Yet, underneath, I can always touch the sadness, the pain of not knowing where I belonged. I have always had a deep desire to know more, to have a purpose, to have a connection, and to belong.

My mother was protective of me and afraid that, as a young girl, I would find myself in trouble. She was hyper-vigilant of men finding me cute or attractive. It took me years to figure out why she was the mama lion. I was innocent and naïve. Of course, her fear and anxiety made me want to be the risk-taker even more. And yet, why did my mother always treat me as if I wasn’t ready? I hated that there was a difference in the freedom my brother had and the restrictions placed upon me because I was a girl. So, what if I was younger?

I remember going to Abraham & Straus Department Store with my mother when she wanted to return something. I was about nine years old. The saleswoman was giving her a hard time and wouldn’t accept the return.

I stood there impatiently, and finally said to the saleswoman, My mother should be able to…

My mother quickly gave me a stern look and said, You shouldn’t speak up; I am talking.

But I realized my mother wasn’t making headway. And she really wasn’t because the saleswoman wouldn’t budge. I thought my mother wasn’t strong enough in her tone.

Later, my mother said, I don’t understand. My niece Esther always returns things, and they never give her a hard time!

Somehow, I knew that if my mother had let me speak up, the saleswoman would have accepted the return. In my world, no was unacceptable. Instead, my mother kept me silent, following the rule of politeness and manners, thinking that children should be seen and not heard.

While my mother sometimes admonished me to be silent, so did her eldest sister. My Aunt Jean was a tall, strong Italian matriarchal figure who ruled with an iron fist. Scary? Oh yes! But my mother was more of a pussycat than a roaring lion like her sister. At home, I could voice anything I wanted to with no retribution. It was more in public that she curtailed my speech. At home, when my Aunt Jean thought I had too many opinions, my mother backed me up and told her it was fine to hold my own thoughts. Thank God!

We always danced around this theme—me and my opinions, and my mother trying to keep me in my place. The funny thing was that my mother was a woman with very