My "Experiences": Believing What Is Yours Shall Be

By Florence L.T. Fenech

"The book is an honest, heart-wrenching, personal account of life in an abusive situation. At times it felt like I was reading a private personal diary. But at the same time, through all the heartbreak, there is a strong sense of healing, family, and ultimately forgiveness and of looking forward with hope. A strong sense of faith is instilled through her mother that weaves its way through the story like fresh air. I was angry and thankful that it is ultimately an account of survival and a strong example of taking something negative and using it as a catalyst to produce something positive. I believe that her story and the way she has moved forward in life has the potential to help others and to provide encouragement to anyone who takes the time to read it."
Ed Rivet

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: May 12, 2022
• ISBN: 9780228868316

Florence L.T. Fenech

Florence Fenech is a Canadian-born author. She is a spiritual intuitive who has a passion for helping others. She became a certified holistic nutritionist in 2015. Traumatic experiences have left her to stand up for what she believes in even if she's standing alone. Her faith has taught her we are never alone. Being an abuse survivor has strengthened Florence, making her more compassionate towards all.

Book preview

My Experiences

Believing What Is Yours Shall Be

Florence L. T. Fenech

My Experiences

Copyright © 2022 by Florence L. T. Fenech

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-6832-3 (Hardcover)

978-0-2288-6830-9 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-6831-6 (eBook)

Send it back to the Universe; burn after reading.

I am dedicating this book to Mary, my mother, who always said she would come back.

Also, to my grandmother, Pauline,

a bright light that touched my soul.

Photo Credit: Roberta Galea and Emanuel Galea

The moment I stood by his bed for the last time.

Where had his power gone?

The strength, the steel.

It had faded to silence, the sound of oxygen being pushed into his body through a machine.

Small and beady eyes stared at me, a cold dead-inside stare with zero emotion.

The man I had known since I was five years old, full of jokes, anger, and rum, lay there silently, looking back at me.

I thought to myself: I could give him one good shot to let him feel what I had felt for so many years.

I’m not that person, and I never will be.

I forgive you.

I walked away, a final goodbye.

Goodbye, Jack.

Find a way to get through the day. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Acknowledgements

I am thankful to my bravehearts, my children, who have shown me the importance of living your life the way you desire. My daughter always reminds me of the power within us and our strength. I am so grateful that she has pointed me toward a vegan lifestyle.

I could write an entire chapter saying thank you to people. However, if I have not mentioned you, be sure to know you are in my heart, as my list of support from friends over the years is astronomical.

Cleopatra, you have inspired me daily. 2021 was far from easy, but our connection was a gift. I will remain grateful for all of eternity.

Kelly, thank you for helping me keep the faith and being so generous. You have changed my mind about humanity.

Adam, thank you for continuously checking in on me with deep sincerity.

Deaner, thank you for never being offended by my strong opinions and constantly boosting my morale. Thank you for being encouraging and accepting of my very openly opinionated verbal blurbs and for giving me insight into writing this book.

Johnny, thank you for teaching me the importance of not judging.

Carolyn, thank you for teaching me a great lesson about extending the olive branch.

Lionel, thank you for always rushing in to lend a hand, never asking why, and teaching me to ask How can I? instead of saying I can’t.

Pam, thank you for helping me understand all the parts/pieces of me. We must reconnect in our next lifetime.

Kim, thank you for helping me with editing! A stranger yet so connected; I trusted you, and it was magical.

James, thank you for your continued support. It’s people like us who have been through so much. We realize the power is within us to lift one another while creating a better world for others.

Thank you to my amazing co-workers—Adrianne, Terrence and Cynthia—for listening to my constant ramblings of stories, current word count, and many discussions that led to more memories for this book!

Syd, you have shown me it is possible: if you want it, do it! Your courage and will to live are an inspiration that has kept me inspired to write and keep living. Thank you!

Emily Heill, my proofreader, I’m grateful the Universe connected us!

Sam, thank you for never giving up on me.

Mary, my mother, thank you for having me and teaching me what you could in our brief time together.

And thank you to the Universe for helping me find my way.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

What Readers Are Saying About My Experiences

Introduction

My Grandmother

My Mother Mary

Morland Memories

Secrets, Lies, No Boundaries

Unprotected

June 1986: The Loss – Nawbrook

Bad Vibes

1988

The Light

Power of Thoughts and Words

Insight

Dreamland

Mavis: Beginning a New Life

Bloor Street

Cherry Beach

Seeing Beings and Knowing

Was it Alek?

The Book I Was Intrigued About

Sights and Sounds

Asking for a Sign of Alignment

Transformation Occurs While Aligning with the Universe

My Altar

Destiny or Manifested?

Letters From Friends

My Pen Is Magical

Living For Wellness

Simplest Vegan Recipes

My Choices

Mother’s Journal

2015: A Catharsis

Epilogue

What Readers Are Saying About My Experiences

An incredible insight into her life’s journey. A must-read for those seeking to understand spirituality and belief systems.

D. Burzeze

Brilliant read: personal, edgy, and intimate. I loved it!!!

Y. Tjanetis

Engaging. You write with such depth of your past. Very interesting and strange spiritual experiences as well. I remember sitting in business class in my first year at university, and a voice as clear as day told me to visit my grandmother, who was in a hospital in Newmarket at the time. I followed the voice’s instructions and took the bus north to see her that evening. She died hours later. I’m sorry for all you have endured, especially losing your mother early. I believe your mother’s influence and strong connection with you and your grandmother have created the person you are today. You’re a special soul, girl.

G. Usher

Powerful words and experiences. You hear stories of people who suffered similar abuse with different outcomes. When you shared what happened, my love and respect for you grew exponentially, not out of pity but because I was in awe of the life you’ve created and the person you’ve become.

A. Mosey

What a tragic, heartbreaking, yet inspirational journey this is. Travelling with Flo from her childhood to the present day is not for the faint-hearted. It is a nerve-jangling trip of pain, frustration, and despair. At times, it felt like I was having a sneaky read of a friend’s private diary. And when the words screamed, I screamed too. And when they sobbed, so did I. I was so enraged at one point that I wished I had a time machine to go back in time and exact savage revenge on the heartless beast who abused her. This book is dark, raw, and very real. We all suffer in life, but as Flo knows, some suffer more than others. Although it is not all doom and gloom, this true story will warm your heart as you watch Flo pick up the pieces and transform her sorrow into a beautiful new beginning. A must-read.

S. Barnes

I’m honoured to be a part of this journey with you. Speaking out on trauma is one of the most valuable offerings one can give to themselves and the world. Apart from the most troubling happenings in your life, it’s beautiful to take in your connection to spirit in your words. Your resilience and determination are inspiring. Your experiences are so vast that by reading the few you’ve chosen to give us; I fall in love with you further.

Cleopatra Madonna Higgins 

Very well written. I felt it through Florence’s visualizations. I saw her mom’s face when she sat inside, isolating herself. I felt their sadness, anger, and rage – Florence’s love and happiness for her children.

This book has all the feels. I highly recommend it.

P. Staples

Reading this book, I felt hurt and angry. However, I am happy that Florence didn’t allow the trauma she endured for so long to take over her life. She’s a fighter, a strong, caring, and loving person who has learned from her experiences, good and bad, to be the person she is today. 

D. Carbonaro

An amazing story of a young girl who endured a world filled with trouble and became a shining light from which we can all draw strength. You are an inspiration.

J. Debono

Flo

The little girl on the merry-go-round

Praying with her mother

Talking to her teddies

Standing up to bullies

Figuring out the world she lived in

Smart Tenacious Funny Intuitive Inventive

Always dealing with ghosts

Flo has given us a glimpse, across time, into the rich tapestry

Of her life.

Flo

The Maid – The Mother – The Goddess

BECOMING THE CRONE!

YOU HAVE MANY BOOKS WITHIN YOU!

BLESSED BE

P. Champagne

I apologize for nothing.

Names have been changed for privacy and legal reasons.

As I have learned, people like to take what is not theirs.

This book is about MY experiences and memories.

This book was not written with the intent to harm, but to heal and let go of past traumas.

I will continue to heal my soul, laugh, love, and live.

The Unforgiven III plays in the background.

My thoughts race, where to begin?

1969, the year I was born to a beautiful, sacrificing, hard-working woman who deserved so much more than she was given— her card, her life card.

Her pain is now gone, but her heart must ache if we still have our earthly feelings.

The sorrow she had endured has passed on to me, but I refuse to let it take me down.

I wish I could have picked her up and carried her through it all.

Introduction

As a child

We may experience something that is not of this world around us at some point in our lives. An unexplained chill, as though a breeze from an open window has passed through you. A gut feeling, or hair-raising, skin-crawling sensation. Maybe you have seen figures, orbs, and shadows. Some people experience it more often. Others deny what they see or feel. Perhaps this may be an unexplained experience. I have written the following pages to share many of my experiences.

I grew up in Toronto, Ontario. I felt proud from an early age and wanted to learn about my family’s Maltese heritage, including the many feasts celebrated, one of which was on my birthday – the feast of St. Peter and Paul. My mom had shared many stories of her life in Malta, about the war and hiding in bomb shelters as a child. During her adolescence, she would stay up all night reading by candlelight until her eyes burned because she wanted to learn about everything. She loved to write and kept journals throughout her life. I share a few of her journal entries at the end of this book.

My first bonds were with my mother and grandmother; God has reclaimed them. It has been some thirty-plus years since their earthly departure. Still, I feel they are always listening and guiding me as I continue to speak to them.

I decided to call this book My Experiences because they are exactly that, mine, with various types: good, bad, spiritual, and unexplained. I hope this book gives you the strength and ability to continue moving forward, no matter the situation. As you will soon learn, my only regret was being afraid to continue seeking help. As a teen/young adult, I did not have the support I needed. However, I can reassure you now that I have great relationships and a circle of supportive friends; I am so grateful.

Watch for signs sent to us from the Universe and stay strong. I share one of my most loved quotations with you, one by Martin Luther King that I have continuously recited: If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.

I start with my first memories of when I was a child. I would ask my mom to leave my bedroom door ajar at bedtime, as once it closed, a whirlwind of images would appear on the back of the closed door; swirling multicoloured shadows with browns, greens, and black, images of pirates, flashes of light that made no sense to me. I was confused and uncertain, and I felt as though I was spinning out of control.

I would have