Take Your Warrior Pose: Your Guide to Releasing Your Inner Self Empowerment

By Alliyah Dawud

Hey there humble average human reading this blurb. Why are you looking around; I’m talking to you. Feeling deflated? No sense of life direction? Do you need someone to kick you up the backside so you can get your life on track?
Then Take Your Warrior Pose is the book for you. Buried between the covers of Alliyahs debut self-help book is a program written based on her own experiences as she navigated herself through the gauntlet that was her own personal life.
She found herself at ground zero when she suffered a heart attack at 31 and her life drastically spiraled out of control. Her culturally appropriate marriage broke down, she became a single parent to two children, her job prospects were nil and she suffered from poor mental and physical health. Not to mention isolation due to toxic community culture.
Now Alliyah wants to be your coach in your corner helping you Take Your Warrior Pose. Are you ready for tears and triumphs as you claim your self empowerment? You are? Alright then my amazing awesome Warrior. LET’S GO!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press UK
• Release date: Apr 5, 2023
• ISBN: 9781982287115

Book preview

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TAKE YOUR

WARRIOR POSE

Your guide to releasing your

inner self empowerment

ALLIYAH DAWUD

Copyright © 2023 Alliyah Dawud.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case

of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.co.uk

UK TFN: 0800 0148647 (Toll Free inside the UK)

UK Local: (02) 0369 56325 ([phone] from outside the UK)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe

the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional,

or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly

or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information

of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and

spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in

this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author

and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8710-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8711-5 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 03/27/2023

CONTENTS

Thank-You’s And Dedications

Take Your Damn Warrior Pose Already…

PART A: Preparing For Battle

1     The Bleaching Process

2     Daddy Issues And (My Lack Of) Self-Love

3     Warriors Don’t Fear Dying Alone

4     Why The Judgment, Gossips And Thoughts Of The Khans Down The Road Are Not Your Concern

PART B: Going Into Battle (The Brown Print)

5     Even Warriors Follow The Law; The Laws Of The Universe (The Theory Bit)

6     Putting The Law Of Attraction And Vibration Into Action

7     Warriors Don’t Get Mad…They Meditate

8     A Warrior Is Open To Change (Rewiring Your Brain)

9     Short, Sweet And Snappy. Let’s Do Affirmations

10   Toxic Culture, Negative And Beyond In The South Asian Community

11   The Great Power Of Gratitude

12   Relapse And Bounce Back

Glossary Of Words And Terminologies

THANK-YOU’S AND

DEDICATIONS

I feel really blessed to be writing this. I have a few shout-outs and thank-you’s to issue.

First, I give recognition and express gratitude that on that fateful day in 2014, I survived a heart attack. I believe part of the reason was to deliver this book to you. So, my first thank you goes to the Power. My faith is my fuel to get on with life.

Now to thank the humans. I’d like to thank my family (my mum & children) for their support. My two daughters, albeit very talkative, bubbly, and fun, are the perfect Warriors in the making. I hope you understand as you grow into women that no one has the right to control, manipulate and make you feel small. Ever. I love you.

Thank you to Hay House for all your support and taking a chance on me. From the moment I entered the Writer’s Workshop in my hometown of Birmingham, I knew something epic would manifest. And here it is.

Suzy Ashworth; my mentor for bringing crazy good energy into my life. Your love will never be forgotten. Thank you. Laura, my amazing editor; you rock!

Last but not least in this category is team Balboa Press. Thank you for everything. Here’s to new friendships and partnerships. Thank you to May and the team for everything.

To the family I have picked for myself; I couldn’t have done this without you. Andrea! Thank you for being my rock. No words can ever describe what your support and love has meant to me, especially in my darkest hours.

Kelly, thank you so much for reading my material, assisting me with editing and being a generally awesome human in our lives (oh, and your family too!).

Thank you to the following families and individuals: The Tebbutts, The Wakefields, Clare, Philip, Iona, my B-Arts family, all those friends that have liked and shared my material and all those that will go on to support my mission—I love you all.

This book is dedicated to my late grandmothers. And also to my late great-grandmother who was way ahead in her thoughts for empowering women. I am honoured to share bloodlines with you all.

To all the readers about to embark on this journey of empowerment—this book is also dedicated to your valiance.

And lastly, I dedicate this book to my late mentor, Hilary Hughes. I can still hear her say, "Just get it done." I did. I did get it done. She would have loved seeing this moment manifest.

I hope I’ve made you all proud.

If I’ve missed anyone, I apologise. I’ll thank you in the next book; promise.

TAKE YOUR DAMN WARRIOR

POSE ALREADY…

I n 2014, if you had told me that in 2023 I would be living the life I am living now, I would have looked at you (or past you) and cried silently because there was no way my life would ever change.

In 2014, I was in a loveless, culturally appropriate, emotionally draining marriage (since 2006) that left a lot to be desired. I was suffering from post-natal depression and was told by a Spiritual Religious Leader that the reason I had it was because I was ungrateful to Allah and that depression was a result of that and not what a real Muslim suffers from. In fact, depression is fake and a non-believer concept. I was married, had two children and lived in the UK…I was living the dream of millions and should be grateful and I should repent. I cut off my friends and social network. I was alone. I had no job because I gave it up as that’s what was demanded of me to show my obedience. I looked after my children full-time and spent any time the children were asleep cleaning and making my home look like others around me. I didn’t have a life away from this bubble. I didn’t have an identity. I felt alone and unloved. I felt I was burdening everyone around me. When I thought I’d be better off dead, I kept thinking about the impact on my children and that kept me from doing something that would take me away from my children.

My story, of course, started many years ago as a small child when I suffered childhood abandonment. My lack of self-love and value then led me down a path of low self-esteem. At the age of 22, I had an arranged marriage. I want to make it clear that my mother never forced me into a marriage. It was arranged. And the scary bit? Nothing was the way you think marriage would be like. I stayed quiet for the sake of family honour.I was repeating cycles from generations before me.

Around 2012, I decided I wanted to repair estranged relationships and I noticed a huge change within my relationship. The dynamics changed dramatically.

By 2014, I needed a glimmer of hope but it was nowhere to be found. I remember sitting on my bed in the middle of the night wondering if this was it. On a balmy July night in 2014, I woke up around 1:30 AM feeling like something intensely heavy was sitting on my chest. It was painful but I stayed in bed because it had been a tiring day running after two children and then getting on and off a trampoline (and my fitness wasn’t the best as I neglected my own needs). I glanced over to my children and they were both asleep, so I stayed still, hoping the pain would go. Around 20 minutes later, the pain subsided and I tried to get back to sleep.

The next morning, I didn’t feel right. And to top that off, my mum said I looked pale and needed to see my GP.

After seeing the GP, he decided that although he thought it was stress from life as it currently was, I still needed to be checked over at the A&E. So, off I went. The staff took blood tests and I was told that if all three tests came back clear, I could go home and get back to life. Two results came back inconclusive. Then at 5:55 PM on that fateful day, a doctor and nurse rushed towards me with a wheelchair and some kind of medicine (I found out later it was an injection) and quickly pushed me into the chair, administering the injection in my thigh to stop clots. They started to explain that I’d had a heart attack in the last 24 hours. Turns out the tests were to rule out things like heart attacks. I asked what was happening and I got told I was being admitted to the cardiac ward. I asked if it was overnight and they said it would be a day-at-a-time type of admission. Right there and then, I could no longer hear the doctor or nurse explaining things, and as they pushed me up to the ward, I saw people but in slow motion.

To say I was scared is an understatement.

The next week or so was very hazy. I had test after test. I wanted to go home to my children but that was impossible. I remember wanting to shut my eyes and not wake up. Then I saw my one-year-old sitting on my bed looking terrified from all the wires and machines beeping, and no one was comforting her. Her behaviour changed and she went from being a happy, playful baby to completely quiet. I decided there and then that this was the sign I needed to take back my empowerment. I was going to live for as long as the Power wanted me around but this wasn’t my time to exit. No.

Soon after I was discharged from hospital rumours started circulating that I had in fact faked a heart attack for attention. It turned out the South Asian community decided I faked my heart attack and I was shunned by all of them. I was accused of lying about my heart attack. I still find it hard to address that because in my mind I cannot comprehend anyone doing that.

This confirmed for me that I was doing the right thing. Leaving and reducing the toxicity I had pushed down my soul daily was the best thing I could do for my children. Because if I didn’t stand up for them, who would? When you stand for nothing you will fall for everything.

Plans were made that included non-refundable tickets but I stood my ground. I didn’t board that flight. I knew the marriage was over and told him. It took a very long time to get a divorce. I already knew that by society’s standards no one would want me. No one would help me. The community would shun me. Someone I knew went through divorce and found out that her ex had actually taken out life insurance on her and rarely spoke to her during the breakdown of their marriage. She explained that many women that seeked a divorce in our community were subjected to various kinds of control tactics such as emotional and financial abuse and, of course, gaslighting to break the spirit of the woman and stop the divorce. Cultural toxicity is a big deal in the desi community. I felt so weak and hopeless.

After hearing this I read every book I could on self-development but nothing really resonated with me. No one was able to talk about the toxicity I was encountering or present the material to me in a way I could digest. I saw so many references to religion and couldn’t work out if things like affirmations fitted in with my beliefs. Spiritual advisory in my community that was trustable was non-existent. Mental health wasn’t discussed as they viewed mental health problems as an alignment with not being grateful for all the Almighty has given us. Was I, a Muslim, even allowed to practice the Law of Attraction? Was spirituality tied to one religion? There were millions of articles, YouTube videos and podcast episodes and I started to drown in information overload. I just wanted a simplified program that this West Midland Millennial woman could follow without fancy jargon or equipment to buy. Was that really too much to ask for? A book for the average British woman going through what I went through? When I say average though, I feel anything but average but acknowledge that a lot of self-help material relies on us being spiritually inclined before you commence the self-development journey in front of you or into the spiritual realms to get the message in the book.

Me, on the other hand? I just wanted straight-up empowerment. I wanted a book I could read, learn from and use as a starter point for my empowerment. And I knew many women felt that same (especially coming from a similar backstory as myself).

Needless to update you (because why else would I have written a book?) I never gave up. I refused to live that life. I wasn’t going to take orders from anyone. I was going to live my life. A good life. A happy life. I was going to raise my children to be good human beings. I was going to do it and show them that they do not need to accept any type of abuse in order to be accepted or loved.

And now, here I am to tell you the samething. I got through that to be here today. I challenged the toxic norms. I reinvented myself. I worked damn hard to get to where I am today. It took a lot of grit and tears. My path was full of uncertainty, uncharted territory, loneliness, hopelessness and fear. Followed by happiness, unconditional love, hope, freedom and empowerment.

After claiming my empowerment back, I have worked with many people (mainly women) to guide them towards being more confident and living a more empowered life. A life to their standards and no one else’s. A life with no conditions placed upon them by others. I love working with people. These were normal folk just like you and me. Most, if not all, had no prior experience of self-empowerment work and most had not been exposed to any type of spirituality. What they all had was a desire to be able to live a life they were happy with. They were proud of. A life not dictated by others. I live for the buzz people get when they realise the key to the life they really want is within them. I get excited seeing people connect with their passions and purpose. I feel content when I hear people say they are forgiving themselves and moving on. The way I see it is that empowerment is only complete when you get to feel the same amazing moments of joy, love, happiness and complete freedom to be who you are. My faith teaches me that I cannot be a good human until I want for you what I have myself. So, here I am…let’s all become Warriors.

I named my book Take Your Warrior Pose because I know exactly how much strength and courage it takes to choose the path you are embarking on. The fear you will be feeling about the road in front of you. The nerves that will kick in because you are creating healthy boundaries. Or the feeling of despair that you may never find someone to love you. I felt it all. That feeling in the pit of your stomach that what if my family disowns me and I never see my loved ones again? I know the dark place you are in right now is cold—bitterly cold. You became the Warrior in your own story as soon as you picked up this book wondering what the journey looked like. Although I talk about South Asian issues, this book is for anyone that wants to take their Warrior Pose. Your gender, colour, tribe—none of that matters to me, just the fact you want this and we need to push ahead because, quite honestly, we’ve all wasted too much time on those that didn’t matter. It’s time to be selfish and stand up, become empowered and then be selective over how much of ourselves we share with others.

When I say I managed to end the cycle and I’m in a much happier, healthier and loving place right now, I mean it. And I honestly want the same for you.

It doesn’t matter if you are a mother on the school playground wondering if this is it in terms of your best life. Or if you are a person wanting to end a dead marriage. Or those that want to restart their life in their 40s because, up until this point, someone else called the shots. We all have our reasons for this journey. For this battle. All are valid. All make you a Warrior.

Of course, the journey won’t be all roses, but I know you know that. The view from where we are heading together is magnificent. You’ve got to hold the vision and trust the process. Even if the vision isn’t clear right now, it’s okay. You don’t need to have a life plan to bring change into your life. You need that spark that says it’s time. Let’s go. We’re going to live the life we deserve to our own standards.

I have written this book for every single person that feels they’ve had enough and want to claim their life as their own.

Throughout the book, you will notice I have set you mini tasks to complete (labelled as Warrior, Your Task). These help you to demonstrate that you get what we are learning in this book and we are absorbing the information.

This book is split into two parts.

Part A: Preparing for battle. This section talks about my journey and the journey of many to this point. This is about putting our journey into context.

Park B: Going into battle. This is your BROWN PRINT for your journey. Why brown? Because I’m a proud brown woman. I want you to be proud of your colour. Dark, light, in the middle. Brown, black, white, pink…whatever you class yourself as. Whatever your colour tone is. Be proud of who you are. I recall those days when I was bullied and was made to feel ashamed of my ethnic heritage, and now? This Warrior knows her worth and is proud of who she is including her heritage. Hold your head high, Warrior. Becoming empowered has no colour. This mission should be universal. The Brown Print talks you through all the weapons I used to rewire my brain, change myself and became empowered. I wanted this book to be a program for you. I love working with people but a book can reach so many more people around the world. I want to reach as many women (and others) who are feeling they are at the bottom of life and just want someone to reach out to them and give them a hand up. Because when I was there, I never had that hand appear. Well, here I am! Let’s do this, Warrior.

Some of you will binge-read this book and get to work on mastering the techniques you need to start your journey. Heck, you may even create a plan for your empowerment and get going on the first day. For some of you, this book is going to open up wounds you didn’t even know existed. I recommend you take on as much as you feel comfortable with. There’s a saying, Don’t run before you can walk. I know that isn’t what you want to hear. You want to hear that everything will be awesome in the morning. I cannot promise that. I’m a realist (and a blunt one at that). What I need you to do is keep yourself at the centre of this journey. Of course, you will meet people who will tell you that you are selfish for wanting to go on this journey. Learn to develop a thick skin and filter out the opinions of all those that do not matter.

Once you start your journey and start to take steps towards your desired outcome, you will start to notice daily changes. Of course, it will take others a bit of time but just remember this is your journey, not theirs. We want sustainable changes. You need to keep faith because when we have faith, we have a limitless supply of hope. And that hope is what continues to push us, especially when we hit bumps on the road to empowerment.

Wherever your journey leads you, my Warrior, know that you are loved and I’m immensely proud of you for doing this. I know right now these words hold hardly any value as I am a stranger. However, as you go on this journey, I hope you can trust that I’m fighting in your corner with you—always.

So, Warrior, are you ready?

No? We’re still doing this! Get your war paint on, we’re in for a hell of a ride.

Love from the West Midlands to wherever you are taking your pose from!

PART A: Preparing For Battle

Chapter One

THE BLEACHING

PROCESS

Chapter One

THE BLEACHING

PROCESS

O kay, explain it to me…what is bleaching?

Getting rid of anything that is YOU. Stripping you back to skin and bone. Becoming a blank, untouched canvas. Removing everything that represents you, your personality, what you stand for—who you are. Denying yourself the right to be YOU. Denying your past. Denying the path you have taken to get to where you are today.

The bleaching process is not gender specific or exclusive to any ethnicity/race. However, I am writing this as if I was talking to a group of women from