When Hurting Turns to Anger: How Parents Can Help Their Kids - Workbook for Parents

By Rosalyn Anstine Templeton

If parents want to learn the anger-reducing techniques (ART) to help their kids deal with anger, this workbook will provide the practice. Parents will practice the following:

1. How to support angry kids

2. When to encourage angry kids to talk

3. How to help kids understand their personal anger

4. When to help kids problem-solve

5. How to help kids develop plans of success

6. When kids need to practice their success plans

7. How to prepare kids for smooth transitions back into family events

In writing the When Hurting Turns to Anger: How Parents Can Help Their Kids book, I knew that a workbook would help parents cement the concepts more firmly in their minds. Additionally, a workbook would provide a method for practicing the concepts, making them easier to use in families.

This workbook is used individually or in a group of participants. It is used interactively with the When Hurting Turns to Anger: How Parents Can Help Their Kids book. For each workbook chapter, parents will review the corresponding book chapter to refresh their memories and use it as a guide. The workbook contains exercises to complete, which will provide practice and reinforce the skill in parents' minds. Once completed, keep the workbook handy to refresh or review specific skills.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638446866

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Dynamics of Anger

Goals

The goals of chapter 1 are to enable parents to do the following:

Understand the dynamics of anger.

Know the four realities of anger.

Understand why punishment does not work.

Know the importance of modeling appropriate actions when stressed or angry.

Practice techniques to gain composure and remain calm.

Read chapter 1 of When Hurting Turns to Anger: How Parents Can Help Their Kids before completing the exercises below.

Exercise: Important concepts in chapter 1

Write four main points from this chapter that you feel are important and will impact how you interact with your angry kids. Briefly explain in writing why each point is important to you—personally and as a parent.

Point one:

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Point two:

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Point three:

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Point four:

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If you are in a small group, take each point and share it around the group. If your parent group is large, the leader will break the group into three to five individuals to share each of the four points. The group leader will determine the amount of sharing time needed.

Exercise: Punishment feels normal

Reflect on your childhood. How did your parents or caregivers handle your misbehavior? Write your example below.

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How do you handle your own children’s misbehavior? Write your example below.

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Did you use the same methods your parents or caregivers used to handle your own kid’s misbehavior?

___ Yes___ No

Explain below.

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If in a parent group, the leader may have participants share one or two examples.

Think of a time you were punitive or handled kids’ misbehavior poorly. Write your example below.

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If in a group, the leader may have parents share one or two examples.

Exercise: What’s the scoop with anger?

To review the four realities of anger, revisit pages 33 and 34 of When Hurting Turns to Anger: How Parents Can Help Their Kids.

The four realities of anger:

The double struggle

The anger habit

Over reactions

Holding onto anger

In your head, briefly define the four realities of anger.

Have you ever been involved in a double struggle?___ Yes___ No

If yes, briefly explain the incident below. Be sure to share if you were able to control your anger.

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If part of a group, your leader will ask parents to share a few examples.

What is an anger trap? Write a brief definition below.

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Are you or someone you know in an anger trap?___ Yes___ No

If yes, briefly explain the incident below.

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If part of a group, your leader will ask parents to share a few examples.

To review why kids are angry, you should revisit pages 37–39 of When Hurting Turns to Anger: How Parents Can Help Their Kids.

Exercise: Why my kids are angry

The anger our kids feel has many forms and can come in several degrees of intensity. Some children learn to handle their anger in three unhelpful ways:

They will deny they are angry.

They will displace their anger on objects or persons.

They will give their anger to parents or siblings to act out.

Describe an incident where your kid denied he or she was angry.

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If part of a group, your leader will ask parents to share one or two examples.

Describe an example of your child displacing his or her anger.

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Your leader may ask parents to share one or two examples.

Describe a situation where your kid gave the anger to (pushed buttons of) you or a sibling.

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Your leader may ask parents to share one or two examples.

Exercise: The defenses parents use

To review why kids become violent and parents refuse to help, revisit pages 41–44 of When Hurting Turns to Anger: How Parents Can Help Their Kids.

Dr. Long tells us that parents often use one or more of the following defenses to avoid teaching better ways to handle anger (Long et al. 2014).

Blame

Avoidance

Justification

Denial

Minimization

Rationalization

Write below what defenses you have used to avoid teaching better ways for your kids to handle their anger. Share one incident. Write what happened.

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If you’re in a group, your leader will determine the amount of time needed to complete the exercise and whether there is time for sharing. Turn to workbook page 13 and use the objectives to develop a summary or test your understanding of the chapter’s key points.

Your leader will summarize chapter 1 before going to chapter 2.

Chapter 2

Emotional First Aid at Home

Goals

The goals of chapter 2 are to enable parents to do the following:

Know when and how