Man on Purpose: A Journey to Becoming a Better Man, Husband, and Father

By David Johnson

When the first man Adam heard the voice of God walking through the Garden of Eden, he hid himself. The Bible says that he hid himself because he was naked. To uncover a good application, let's examine the word naked. May I suggest that he hid himself because he was unprepared, misinformed, or simply not ready? He was perhaps (as are many men today) not in place nor proper form. He was not dressed. He was not adorned with a sense of power or purpose. He had no strength or motivation! Perhaps he was in a position of authority, but powerless to perform the expectations and duties of the position he held. He was supposed to make things better, but he made a mess of almost everything he touched, because he did not understand his purpose! He did not understand his relationship to what he touched, nor did he understand himself. Adam hid himself then, as many men hid themselves today. Adam was not functioning according to his created purpose. What was his created purpose and why did he cover himself with fig leaves? I will answer the question of his created purpose directly in chapter 3 of this book. For now, let's talk about the fig leaves. Today's man covers himself with fig leaves called crime; theft, murder, rape, and domestic violence to name a few. They end up incarcerated, imprisoned, and extricated from the place of purpose! Today's man hides from child support or they hide themselves from the child and family altogether! Some become career criminals, effectively wasting their lives away. All too often, men seem to seek and discover ways to be absent. When he does not fix the problem, the problem fixes him. What he will not control begins to control him. What he refuses to master now masters him, and thus begins the societal reality and the sad plight of fatherless young men. Women are left alone to rear and train and to raise them! God asked the question, "Adam, where art thou?" So with the same intention of calling men out of obscurity and into accountability and presence, I now also ask, "Men, where are you?"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9781645691662

David Johnson

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Book preview

Chapter 1

A Father on Purpose

As I sit to record the origin for this book, I must share a few vulnerable memories of what my life and experience did not consist of. I did not have a good role model in my father. For the most part, he was self-absorbed. He did what pleased him. His life primarily consisted of wine, women, and song and the game of pool. He was pretty good at pool most of the time. He really was good-time Charlie most of the time, but occasionally of course, he lost money in a pool game and the family paid for that. When he lost at pool, he was usually drunk when he came home. Physically, psychologically, and emotionally, he abused us, all of us. He terrorized the home. He broke furniture, televisions, radios, and dishes. He hit, hurt, and almost broke people.

The way he dropped me was that he never took any interest in my life of music and athletics.

Early on, I do have a few positive recollections. I recall around age 6 when he would come home from work; from upstairs, I would run down to the 3rd or 4th step, and I would leap into his arms. He always caught me. He never dropped me until later on in my teenage years. The way he dropped me was that he never took any interest in my life of music and athletics. He took us fishing a few times and that was fun. He taught all of his children that were of age how to drive. We were all pretty good drivers too! Yes, there were other children that I met later on in life because Papa was a rolling stone… Occasionally, he took my brother and me swimming too, so there were some happy times.

One of his favorite songs was made famous by Frank Sinatra entitled My Way. Small wonder that it was one of his favorites, it really did describe the way he lived and his general attitude about life.

I feel very strongly that when a man has children, he is now to live his life to make the lives of his children better!

This song was a big hit years ago! It speaks the sentiments of many men. Sadly, it really speaks for many people. However, there is a problem with this position. In my opinion, once a man has children, his life as he once knew it and lived it is over! I feel very strongly that when a man has children, he is now to live his life to make the lives of his children better! This calls for a very unselfish attitude. I think you would agree that the lyrics to the song My Way seems to reveal a self-centered mentality.

Unprotected sex often creates unprotected children!

Another very important thing that we as fathers need to do is to be present in the lives of our children. I want to say very clearly that as men, we must stop having sex without responsibility! Unprotected sex often creates unprotected children! When these children grow up without structure, they usually end up in trouble. Our communities and jails are full as a result of this irresponsible behavior. I think that one of the greatest gifts that a man can ever give to his children is the gift of his presence.

One of the many concerns that I have is that the conversations that I have now with young men in my circles are conversations that I never heard when I was a young man. These conversations are focused on building the esteem of the man according to his created purpose. I try to help them understand how necessary and important their presence is in the life of their families. This all begins with helping the young men to first understand some very basic things about themselves.

I am now coming nearer to retirement age and I can’t help but think, What if I had had a person…a father who was really involved in my life all those years ago? I never really had a man to take time to teach me some of the basic things about myself. I never had a man to teach me what maleness and manhood was all about. Don’t get me wrong, I had an awesome mother who was very present in my life, but there are certain things about manhood that only a man, only a father can teach.

As for career choices and what may have made sense for me, it would have been nice to have had someone say to me, Well, have you considered going into the military? Or You are very gifted in music, son, perhaps you should pursue a career in music. I was never presented with my options by anyone who had my best interest at heart, so I chose to play football. It was fun, but my 5'6" stature would have been better served elsewhere. Where I am today, like many young men, I am as a result of having had to figure most of it out on my own. I didn’t do so badly, but I really feel that I could have done so much better if I had had a strong man to help influence more of my life decisions. As you are reading this, please know that the young men in your reach will do better if you will take the time to hear the plan that they have and give them some of your wisdom for their journey.

As it is now, I am very often mistaken for a man who had been in the military. I suppose it is because of my very orderly and deliberate demeanor and the way that I walk. I can only imagine that my life could have been so very different. I would like to think that had I known that I had that option, I may have taken it. I’d like to believe that I would have gone into the military and had a wonderful career. I would have very likely have been retired from the military by now. I would be working toward another stream of retirement income!

What I am trying to say is that there is such value added to relationships when a man, a visionary, a seer, looks into the lives of younger men and points out to them the excellence that is within them and then verbally shares possible avenues of direction and success with them. Understand that they won’t always do what you suggest, but they need to hear the options so that the decisions that they make can be thought out more thoroughly.

As older men, because we have lived a little more, we tend to see life through eyes of experience. This experience can be so very valuable, but only when we share it. Take the time to understand what you have and share it! When we package what we know,