Confessions of a Father: Living Biblically Balanced in a Cultural World: Sanity in Insanity

By George Gutshall

Confessions of a Father, subtitled Living Biblically Balanced in a Cultural World: Sanity in Insanity. This book and the stories I share with you have a meaning and purpose. As the pages unfold, as you see my life, my heart, my journey with Christ, you will see what the Holy Spirit has taught me. You will read how God has worked through my misunderstanding, my false doctrines, and false beliefs. You will read how the Lord has worked through my family, my home, my relationships, and circumstance to lead me into a deeper love of and for Him. You will read how God's Word and His working in my life has led me into an intimate personal relationship with Christ and how God has used His Word to correct my false doctrines, my false beliefs, and my life. To put it very simply, you will read what I have learned. I am a child of God. The One true living God. I am a servant of the Lord and disciple of Jesus Christ. I am empowered by the Holy Spirit to seek out and bring God's meaning and purpose into my life and to bring glory to the One who created me. I am called to strive to live according to God's Word while trying to live in a world powered by false doctrine and false beliefs. He is my sanity in this world of insanity. I want to state that this book is in no way an attempt to authenticate the Scripture. That has already been done many times over by individuals who are far more knowledgeable than I am and who are true Bible theologians. In these pages, I make reference to the Bible and books of the Bible but generally not direct citations. I hope and I pray that will encourage you to read the Bible for yourself, not just parts, but the whole Bible. I say this, I hope this and I pray this because I know that if you do, you will find what I have found. If we take the cultural glasses off and try to see the world through Christ and live according to God's Word, then we will know sanity in insanity-we will know Christ Jesus. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:1-5).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 25, 2019
• ISBN: 9781643007960

Book preview

Introduction

Dictionary.com defines confess as: 1) to declare or acknowledge one’s sins; 2) to acknowledge one’s belief or faith in; to declare adherence to (www.dictionary.com, 2015).

Confession of a Father

I have no idea whether or not I am to write this book or not, I am not sure what God’s plan is in this. This maybe a simple exercise for my own cleansing and sanctification. Maybe it is just a means by which I am to put my heart down in words. Maybe it is a means in which I am to express the amazing things God has taught me so far. Maybe it is something to be used to further His kingdom and bring Him glory, honor, and praise. I don’t know but what I do know is that this has been speaking to my heart, and I must trust in the Lord that as the Holy Spirit guides, I should follow no matter where it leads. One simple truth is that being caught up in wondering the whats and whys only increasing my anxiety and fear. It allows the voices in my head to keep me from moving forward. I know I must walk in faith, trust in the Lord that what He has placed upon my heart and in my mind is a message that I am to carry whenever, wherever, and however He desires.

Another simple truth is that it doesn’t matter whether I am to understand beforehand, during, or after the meaning and purpose of this exercise; some of the great mysteries of God and His working is not for us to know or understand although sometimes, in His great love for us, He reveals some of these things to us. It is just enough to go and do. Some people may call that taking a leap of faith or walking blindly by faith, neither of which I believe apply here. I am not jumping or leaping; not uprooting my family; not moving to a new country; not giving up my job or abandoning all that I have; I am simply walking. Yet I am not walking blindly in this either. I know the cost. The cost of serving the Lord is high, but am I willing to give it all for the one who gave it all? I know I will go under personal attack, I know the one who is against me, and I know the one I serve. I know that the one against me will wage war on my family and on everything I hold dear. I know I will question the words I speak, and I know that this will take me to a place of very deep self-analysis and self-reflection. I know that my heart will be convicted and I write and discuss these chapters as I will be called to apply them even more deeply in my own life. I know that this will be a painful process because who likes to truly look at their own heart and try to see it through the eyes of God? I also know this: no matter the use, meaning, or purpose; no matter how difficult personally it will be; no matter how much it costs; no matter what the sacrifice is, I have a choice.

I do have a choice. I can choose to play it safe, or I can choose to write this book. I can choose to walk in ignorance with peace and being content with my spiritual life, or I can choose to go deeper. I can choose to listen to the voices in my head or the world around me, or I can choose to listen to what God is calling me to. I can choose to live a mundane life avoiding sorrow and pain, or I can choose to allow my heart to cry tears of joy and tears of grief. I can choose to follow the Lord, or I can choose to follow the world. I get to choose. I guess, since I am putting this down in word, I am choosing to follow Christ.

It is not that I want to or even have a desire to see my family suffer in anyway due to my actions and choices. It is truly painful when one sees their loved ones hurting, struggling with their faith, or in any way be attacked mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I have already experienced this, and even if they don’t see it, I have witnessed the attack of the enemy as God has called me into ministry. However, I do know one thing, one fact, and one truth. If I have a desire in my heart to love my family more deeply, to be more intimate with them, and to truly serve them as a father is called to do, then I must follow the Lord. If I want to love them in a way that the world cannot understand, then I must allow the Holy Spirit to lead me into a deeper and deeper, more personal, and more intimate relationship with God the Father as I am being created more and more in the image of His Son, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is only in the love of Christ growing and flowing through me that I can love them the way I have a desire to. As a father, I am called to be the leader of my house and my family, and in order to become the leader, I must first become the servant and the least of them. It is not for me to be served but to serve. If you are reading this and not sure about what I am saying, check out the parable of A Mother’s Request found in Matthew (Matt. 20, New International Version Bible). More of them means less of me; less of me and more of them is only possible through the working of the Holy Spirit and the emptying of self, dying to self, being raised in Christ, and being made in the image of Christ to the glory of God the Father.

We all know the old saying, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. We have probably all heard this or a similar saying, yet how many of us follow what the world or what culture dictates as truth in our lives yet wake up every day only to discover and experience insanity? As creatures created by God, our very inner nature—that voice deep down inside, that heart yearning for a life of meaning and purpose—is alive in all of us, no matter how deeply we have tried to bury it. We all want something more—much, much more. But what many of us fail to realize or blind ourselves to is the Truth. The truth of the world is a truth that cannot quench our thirsts, it cannot give us true satisfaction in life, it cannot bring meaning and purpose to all we do or all we see, and it cannot give us an everlasting joy and peace.

Sanity is defined as: soundness of mind; soundness of judgement (www.dictionary.com, 2015). In order to have a soundness of mind and a soundness of judgement, our understanding and knowledge must be based upon a doctrine of Truth. Not just principles to live by, not guidelines or a game plan, not nice mottos or creeds, but a sound doctrine of Truth. Yes, I did capitalize the word Truth again, and no, it is not a typo. This is done with meaning and purpose—the Truth that I am talking about is the Truth that is the Word of God.

Confession of a Father

I was listening to the radio this morning, and I heard a story about a boy at a grocery store who asked a gentleman if he would pay the boy the amount of money needed to buy a box of donuts if the child took his bags of groceries to his car. According to the story, the man could see that the boy had been rejected on this offer many times so the gentleman decided to do something that most of us would not do; he decided to ask the boy why he wanted the money to buy donuts? To the gentleman’s surprise, he learned that the boy didn’t have any food at his house, and he wanted to get donuts for his family. The gentleman then did something else, again that most of us would not do; he bought the boy several bags of groceries. One might think, Wow, what an awesome story, and it is.

The story continues. I believe this is truly a wonderful example of humanity at work. As I was listening to the story, I kept asking myself, What would I have done? Probably dismissed the boy, never looking at him, and telling him that I don’t need help. This gentleman didn’t do that though. Instead, he bought the boy several bags of groceries. The story doesn’t end there either. There is another amazing thing this gentleman did that probably none of us would do. He offered to take the child to the child’s house and unload the groceries. Guess what the gentleman found; not only was there no food in the house, but there was no furniture, no decorations, no normal comfy chair or the necessities or pleasantries we all take for granted. Nothing.

The story still continues. So what did this man do? He went further and deeper. The man decided to put the story on the internet and try to collect funds to be able to provide furniture for the child’s family. To his amazing surprise, not only did he raise money for furniture and groceries, but also enough money to pay for the boy’s college. I believe they raised over $125,000.00. Why? How? Simply because one man cared enough to go all-in, go in deep, take time out of his schedule and life to be imposed upon by a stranger. I am sure the gentleman never intended for this to happen. I am sure he wasn’t looking for it or standing in the grocery store just waiting for someone to panhandle him. I am sure he was probably there with a reason and purpose for himself or his own family, and I am certainly sure he had a list of things he was planning on getting done for himself, not one of which probably included a seriously divergent path.

Why am I discussing this? Well again, I have to ask myself, What would I have done? There is a chance that I may not have dismissed the child. I may have taken him up on his offer or just bought him the donuts thinking, How great it is to be able to help someone else out, or I might have even went to the point of buying the child some groceries and doting on that euphoric feeling of sacrifice and service. But to go the point where I would have taken time out of my life to offer to take the groceries home? Probably not. To go to the point of putting myself out there for a total stranger and his family? Probably not. Taking time out of my schedule and my agenda to go all-in and truly serve? Probably not. To go in really, really deep and have an opportunity to change a life? Probably not. I am not boasting here, just being painfully honest. I have to ask myself, Why not? What is stopping me or holding me back? Why don’t I care that much?

While these are difficult questions to ask ourselves, answering them truthfully is even harder.

When was the last time I gave someone with a homeless sign or a panhandler some money?

When was the last time I looked at a stranger as if they were actually human? Did I even look in their eyes? Could I tell you what the person looked like? Did I really, truly, deeply care?

When was the last time I went beyond just helping the immediate need? Did I ask them who they are or about their life? Their faith? Their journey? Their family? Their true needs?

When was the last time I went all-in with a complete stranger and seized the opportunity to change someone’s life?

I have been fortunate enough to be able to serve as ministry leader of two different ministries; my church Ministry to Men and a Christ-centered Recovery Ministry. I am blessed to be able to serve others, carrying the message of Christ and as I believe, having an impact for the Kingdom of God. I have the regular men I work with, some I meet with and spend time with in the word of God, some I disciple and those that disciple me, the regular neighbors I speak to and assist when needed, and occasionally get the opportunity to meet or work with someone new to one of the ministries. Yet when I heard this story, as it was unfolding in my ears, I asked myself these questions. I have to confess, ashamed to say, and grieved in my heart that the answers to the questions above in order are: a long time, probably months or even a year; very long time; a really, really long time; and never. Ouch.

I am not saying that I don’t help people, that I don’t donate time and money to others and that I haven’t been blessed to be able to serve others in need. What I am saying is why do I get so caught up in life, ministry, family, and self that I don’t seize some of those blessedly amazing opportunities? We all can’t help everyone. Sometimes, we do have things that really need to get done or commitments we need to fulfill, and sometimes, we don’t have the funds ourselves to buy several bags of groceries. But how many times have I had the opportunity to entertain angels yet failed to open my eyes and my heart to following the lead of the Holy Spirit, simply because I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and what I wanted to do did not include being imposed upon by a stranger?

Living biblically balanced means that we have to take the cultural glasses off and try to see the world through Christ and live according to the Word of God.

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The Bible: Shake the Dust Off

Shake the Dust Off

As a child, I was brought up in a home where my parents tried to love and serve the Lord. My father had to work a lot because money was tight. My mother also worked, but she had a passion in her heart for all of us to come to faith in Christ. To be very honest with you, I have failed to truly see what she was trying to do until this very moment that I am writing this chapter; thanks mom. My mother was an insistent mother, dragging us to church regularly. That meant Sunday school and Church services Sunday morning and Sunday evening, Wednesday Bible study and any and every time a church service was held in between, no matter the reason or season. My mother, in her own loving way, would also push us to do daily devotions reading the Bible, and in my attempt to gain her love and attention, I would try to read it. However, I had no idea what the words on the pages meant. This seemed like a useless and pointless exercise, and it became something that good Christians do. So I tried. It didn’t work. I quit.

Confession: Insanity. Worldview

As I grew up into young adulthood, adulthood, marriage, and even starting a family, my heart was