Coming Home: Life-Changing Spiritual Experiences and Lessons on Everyday Life

By Kathy Spiciarich

Coming Home, a teaching memoir, was written for any spiritual seeker searching for a Power greater than ourselves. Author Kathy Spiciarich shares the revelations, truths and powerful spiritual experiences leading to her own enlightenment, as she relays the steps necessary to make the life-changing connection to the Spirit, to Higher Power, to God within.

She teaches you how, by embracing the spiritual landscape, the Spirit within will naturally guide you and direct your steps. Life is a juggling act between deep material hunger and spiritual thirst, and if you feed only the material, your thirst will never be quenched. Once you find God, your soul starts to awaken and flourish.

Faith, gratitude and trust flawlessly set the stage, letting the Spirit guide you through your every breath, and the Universe takes care of the rest. If you listen harder and search deeper you find that no boundaries can confine the Spirit within. You find your own extraordinary path, leading you to your many homes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Oct 23, 2022
• ISBN: 9798765230275

Kathy Spiciarich

Kathy Spiciarich emigrated to the Unites States from Croatia at the age of 14. She is a registered nurse, and also holds a degree in elementary education. Although she spent most of her career practicing as a nurse, her most fulfilling role was being a stay-at-home mom of 2, Michael and Jen. She is now a grandmother (Mimi) of 4, Aven, Lila, Charlie and Emory. Her desire to leave a legacy in the form of a spiritual book began when her children were in grade school, about 25 years ago. She is ecstatic to finally bring it to completion. She and her husband Joe live in Westchester, New York, with their children and grandchildren nearby.

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Copyright © 2022 Kathy Spiciarich.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

All Scriptures taken from the NKJV

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3026-8 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3025-1 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3027-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022916294

Balboa Press rev. date:  10/20/2022

Disclaimer

Just to clarify: I use the word HE when discussing God, as well as people, purely for simplification of the subject matter.

Dedication

For Aven, Lila, Charlie and Emory

Each of you captured my heart and it is now yours forever

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Write the truest sentence you know.

—Earnest Hemingway

Contents

PART I

In Vain

Prologue

Coming Home

PART II

Finding God

Spirituality

The Ego

Guided by the Light

Free Will

Let God Do It All

Religion

The Many Faces of God

A New Horizon

PART III

Coming to America

The Gift of Cancer

Walk With You

9/11/2001

Children

A New Beginning

With Love in Our Hearts

Prayer for a Better Humanity

Don’t Ask Why

Together as One

The Pandemic

Nothing More

PART IV

Acceptance

Anger

The Art of Listening

I›d Rather Listen

Attitude

Beauty and Aging

Challenges

Change

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Future

Children, Parenting and Family

Courage

Death

Decisions and Choices

Education and Learning

Faith

Fear

The Many Faces Of Fear

Forgiveness

Friendship

Giving and Receiving

Give

Gratitude

Reasons for Gratitude

Growth

Happiness

Health and Healing

Hope

Inner Peace

Gentle Stillness

Integrity

Intention and Energy

Joy and Laughter

Life Is Short

Kindness

Love

Mindfulness and Meditation

5 Steps To Fulfillment Of Desire

Nature and Miracles

Passion

Patience

Prayer

The Many Faces of Prayer

Present Moment

Be

Problems

Prosperity and Purpose

Regret and Loss

Relationships

Respect

Self-Confidence

Service to Humanity

How Can I Help?

Trust

Wisdom and Truth

If Grandmothers Could Rule the World

PART V

DAILY PRACTICES

Morning Prayer

Morning Meditation

My Daily Practices

My Wish List

Unanswered Questions

What if?

Nourishing Food

Junk Food

Allow Yourself to

PART VI

MY FAVORITE POEMS

Ancient Buddihist Blessing

Apache Blessing

Beauty of a Woman

Children Learn What They Live

Do You Want to Fast This Lent

Irish Blessing

Just for Today

Serenity Prayer

Service

The Seven Wonders of the World

Afterword

My Gratitude

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PART I

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In Vain

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain:

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

Emily Dickinson

Prologue

It’s hard to tell truth, but once told, it’s hard to keep it back.

—Sharon Green

Originally, this book was meant to be written as a very private gift to my children and grandchildren. However, since I was exceedingly fortunate to be blessed with so many meaningful spiritual life-changing experiences and lessons, I felt compelled to share them with people outside my family. Finding God, for example, had a tremendously deep and positive impact on my life. I decided to put that, as well as other experiences into words. My attempt was to summarize the values and Universal truths I believe drive home an importance to all spiritual seekers, especially to those on their way to maturity, both physically and spiritually. No matter your age, I hope the chapters that follow impart messages to you that justify your consideration, or give confirmation to some of the concepts your soul has been contemplating. Think of my messages as reflections that conceivably warrant a handbook and perhaps consider this book as such. My deepest wish is that it will answer some of your questions, guide you through some unfamiliar territories and even contribute to more fulfillment in life.

Everyone travels on their own spiritual journey and seeks their own definition of happiness and meaning of life. My messages here are not intended to change your beliefs or ideals, but to urge you to be open to new possibilities and to be grateful for the things that already exist in your life. They are my very personal lessons, experiences and observations. This book is not intended to be a homily, but a sharing of spiritual information and advice I believe could be helpful. I do not consider myself an expert, but an enthusiast, willing to share what I believe to be my innermost revelations, which I sincerely hope will nourish you. They nourish me daily. I only ask that you read my words with an open mind, heart and soul. Hopefully you will find some of your own spiritual truths scattered throughout the book, especially when facing uncertainty.

In the following pages you will read about my life experiences as well as lessons learned from the buffet of books that have become a part of my mental library. The beliefs, ideas and truths I share with you are things which have stood the test of time. They are teachings I try to live by and deeply appreciate. I invite you to receive these as your potential daily mantras, or possibly something to ponder. I use them as my guideposts. I hope you entrust me on this journey and enjoy the exploration, or at least parts of it. Perhaps it will spark some inspiration for you, even if only a glimmer.

My highest wish is that you will experience the power of these messages and revelations and that they will act as both a mirror and a magnifying glass of your personal beliefs. These Universal truths taught me about human spirit and continue to reawaken me every single day. The depth of their meaning can change for us over time, and with age, but their truth remains. My intention is that they soften the blows that life might throw you and enrich the skills necessary for living a purposeful life.

Our future is determined by the intentions we are creating today. Our thoughts determine what we see and I refuse to see only an angry, mean world. I am always searching for a loving world that can be enjoyed and appreciated. I refuse to spend time keeping misery company, but choose to spend time viewing life as a gift. Each day we have a chance to begin with new thoughts, feelings and attitudes, and learn to continually grow in new and unexpected ways.

We all find that life is a juggling act between deep material hunger and spiritual thirst. We find that if we only feed the material our thirst will never be quenched. Once we find God and make the connection with our soul within, our desires for the material things start to diminish, as our soul starts to awaken and flourish.

Hopefully this book is a token through which I hope my readers will find some answers to some spiritual questions and create good feelings, clarity and peace. If it helps one person I will consider it a success. If you appreciate the world a little better, I will be ecstatic. I am deeply honored to be a messenger to express so much of God’s Spirit and grace.

It has been a great journey from where I have started to where I am today. I am really blessed with God’s grace. —Dhanush

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Coming Home

Home is where one starts from.

—T.S. Eliot

Home is wherever we can live in peace, comfort and safety. It is not necessarily an actual home or a house, but instead, it is a metaphor. It is a place or an environment where we can grow into ourselves and continue to discover our divinity and our wholeness. It is a sanctuary we keep going back to in order to become more grounded, more authentic and more pure. It’s the events that shape us, the places that awaken us, and the lessons we learn along the way.

At home we establish what is most important, confirm our values and discover how to stay on the right path by living them. Any house can be transformed into a home depending on the amount of love, warmth and human touch that is invested into it. Thus, much of the home is determined by the people that occupy our heart. Its address carries no importance. Its foundation is based on the life choices and decisions we make. The home can be a tent, an apartment, or a castle, as long as the architect is a Power greater than ourselves. A home must house our body, mind, heart and soul, in unison.

We arrive home through many doors. I, personally, came home when each of my children and grandchildren was born. I came home when I immigrated to America and when I was diagnosed with cancer. I came home on 9/11. I stayed home during the pandemic. I came home when I lost my parents, my brother, and many close relatives and friends. I go home each time I visit my beloved Croatia because that was the first place I experienced a loving home. All these experiences, regardless of whether they are joyous or sad, can be considered a commencement, a rebirth, or a wake-up call. Each proved to be a catharsis through which I found God in deeper, more meaningful ways. Each of these events peeled off extraneous layers of myself in order to find my soul. But the most memorable and life changing time I came home was when I found God within. (See chapter: Finding God.) For me it was the most profound realization: that I was never separated from God. Instead, it confirmed God was always within, it was I who strayed. I did not feel his Presence initially in any of life’s circumstances. Only in retrospect did it become a reality and continues to be so, daily. By finding God, I found my soul, my spirit and my faith. I found my true home. It is only in his loving arms that we feel most at home and everything feels just right.

When coming home we may or may not make a grand entrance, but we will never feel like a visitor. We will always know when we have arrived, even if not immediately. The above mentioned were special and spiritual events, parts of my remarkable history. Yes, everyone has a remarkable history! But there have been countless other occasions, far too many to mention, occurring in ordinary, everyday situations, confirming the existence and Power of our brilliant Universe. I have been searching for its wisdom from as early as my memory takes me and have arrived home numerous times. I am certain you did as well.

Every struggle and challenge, as well as every triumph in the growth process was, and still is, a lesson about a Power greater than myself. The more that Power unfolds, the more of myself I find, and the more I find that same Power in others. During darkness I was carried. During the many frightening times, I was lifted. Even if unaware at the time, I was always connected to God. The dark times later revealed the perpetual light within.

It is my sincere belief that the reason we are put on this planet is to help each other find our way home. How can we do that? We have to dust away any judgements, wash away any hatred and intolerance from our hearts, never causing harm. We do that by erasing our differences. We do that each time we use our spiritual lens, which is much clearer, sharper and broader than our short sighted rational lens could ever be. We do it by offering kindness and realizing how much we need each other.

The Higher Power is within us equally during times of conflict and fear, as well as during times of joy and bliss. That is the reward for living in the divine Presence. Only within the spiritual dimension of our existence do we fully dance to the music and sing our songs, often in total silence. Any setting where the body, mind, heart and soul unite as one becomes our home. It’s where we feel whole. We don’t have to travel to exotic lands, the land within is plenty exotic. It is there we find our starting point, our holy beginning, as well as our ultimate destination, our home.

Coming home is finding our soul!

Related Quotes

• The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are —Joseph Campbel

• We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. —T. S. Eliot

• The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.—Exodus 14:14 (NKJV)

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PART II

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Finding God

For me, God is in my life. I don’t hide from that…I think the search has been on since the ‘60s.

—Ringo Starr

When my father, a very spiritual man died in 1995, I became obsessed with reading every spiritual book I could get my hands on. Every morning I began meditating on the newfound, delightful readings and continue to do so today. Six weeks after his death I had a dream in which I heard his voice, literally heard it, as well as his most contagious laugh. I heard him telling me: It is so beautiful here. Everyone is so happy. All the time! You can be too, and so can everybody! Then he continued with his hearty laugh, which echoed like pure joy. He sounded as if he were right next to me. I remember waking up feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted. I no longer mourned my father in a sorrowful way. I heard his messages loud and clear: he was happy, and we can all be happy as well!

I continued with my daily readings and meditations, not knowing exactly what I was searching for, but my thirst was unquenchable. A friend recommended the book Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach and I could not put it down. Every page became alive with revelations that were awakening my mind and opening my heart. The book is a treasure chest of valuable insights, the most valuable message being that of gratitude. With each new chapter the essence of gratitude took on a new meaning. I started appreciating every blessing in my life with more depth, more joy, more vibrancy. The more I was thankful for, the more I found to be thankful for and less to complain about.

Throughout the book I felt as if my soul was blooming, while peace continued to move in. Then the epiphany: I suddenly realized and sensed with every fiber of my being, that the PRESENCE OF GOD IS WITHIN ME. ALWAYS. An epiphany because it wasn’t a normal worldly experience, but an unprecedented bliss. As if a light went on within me, I had an undeniable KNOWING. A distinct awakening. A peace that really does surpass all understanding. A euphoria. An inexpressible joy. It was an undefinable, immeasurable awareness of God within me. I felt as if my soul was born. This is when my personal transformation began. Suddenly life was pregnant with meaning. At that point, there was no turning back. I found my constant friend, my guide, my compass, my nourishing energy, my anchor, my path, the Source. I undoubtedly found God within. I felt reborn, looking at the world through the eyes of a child, with a new lens, yet more mature and confident than ever before. It profoundly changed every aspect of my life for the better. Much better! I started thinking: maybe this is enlightenment? Nirvana? Self-awareness? Heaven? Well, it was all of the above, and more. Think of the value and the impact of that! The experience had a deep transcending impact on me, much more profound than years of previous religious instruction. Much more than any philosophy books could ever have taught me. It was totally direct and personal. From that moment on, I knew that anytime I stumbled I would have an Inner Power of assurance to rely upon. Much like a child when scraping a knee immediately looking for his mother to soothe the pain.

For the first time I was living fully and completely, through my new perception, with a new heart and soul. Even the simple daily routines felt like miracles, like perfect joy. Don’t misunderstand, I was happy before, or so I thought. But before my epiphany I was forever looking for the missing piece, the what could be or should be. Without even noticing that prior to this a part of me was empty and hollow. This new found Presence filled the void like no other. This Presence that is the full, unconditional, innate Love that lived here all along, I now recognized as the Source of my blissfulness. My life felt like a new creation, a newfound art, a continuous collection of wisdom. I uncovered undeniable value in the minutest things, which defied logic. I entered a playground on which I could dance forever. It was like finding a long lost treasure in the attic. The fog was lifted and I got a glimpse of heaven. Maybe that was my father’s message! Upon reflection, my dad’s death gave new meaning to my life. He was the reason I found God and turned my sorrow into joy. What a gift! Life took on a new glow. I felt the magnificent Power of God, more astonishing than anything I ever imagined or experienced before. It was like putting together a puzzle, but the puzzle had no borders, no limits. Yet my life was coming into focus. I experienced a deep soul-stirring enthusiasm and felt I could accomplish anything. When I felt my own limitations surface is when I began to understand the limitless Power of the Spirit. Possibilities suddenly became endless, with God’s help.

That was my spiritual awakening, right there. It was the most real, the most joyful thing that ever happened to me. The feeling defied all previous earthly feelings. This knowing, or conviction confirmed the unfathomable vastness of God and the Universe, with no beginning and no end. Once I became comfortable with the Presence, the Holy Spirit, call it what you will, I became aware that it was available to all of us at all times! Awareness that wherever I am God is. This Force is omnipresent, constantly accessible, energizing. Its invisible gravity grounds us and secures our footing. It is the calm in the middle of a storm. The Presence always patiently waits to be invited in. Once welcomed, it creates in us a perfect harmony and immeasurable peace. I started looking for it like a flower looks for the sun on a daily basis. It’s what Carl Jung called helio tropism. That is when a flower turns towards the sun in order to bloom. We need God in the same way in order to flourish.

For many years I could not talk about my experience with anyone. For a long time I was not ready, perhaps embarrassed. I didn’t want people to think I was preaching. Or worse, crazy! What if sharing my experience made me vulnerable to criticism and left me feeling transparent? Then I decided: Aren’t these the values we strive for, mature with? What if a glimpse of my experiences and my journey could help even one person? Wouldn’t the risk be worth it? Perhaps a lonely relative? A stranger in crisis? A teenager finding his way? I concluded that not sharing my messages would be a disservice, or proof of immaturity and selfishness. Twenty five years of journaling, daily meditations and growing confidence through a wealth of experiences is how this book began taking shape. Although I always had a buried desire inside me to write a book, perhaps this was its conception.

We are each on our own journey. We each have our own definition of God. Spirit works in a very personalized, subjective style. We each find God in our own time, through our own encounters, on our own path. However, it would break my heart to know that not everyone gets to experience the joy and rapture I did. For that reason I implore you to keep searching for God, for something greater than yourself. We never know how, where or when we will make that connection. Once you do you will be assured that he is within you. Your inner eye must forever be searching. Ironically, when we find him our inner eye simultaneously becomes laser sharp. The reason being, our inner eye is our Spirit, it’s God. Through your breath invite God in and connect with his Spirit. There you will find the secret garden in your soul. When you find it I hope you bring it to all around you. When you find it the suffering will be manageable, the joy more profound. The colors will be brighter, the sounds will be clearer. When you find it, you will find your true self, your soul.

In the scheme of things, this profound awareness was short lived. Its depth lasted only a couple of weeks, but its effect was endless. Its unrelenting fullness was enough proof for me of the grandeur of God’s existence, which words can never truly describe. It was complete, with no thoughts or feelings of anything other than total, extraordinary bliss. It felt like I was floating on air. I do want you to know that I do not consistently live in this bliss. I don’t think that is possible for any of us. The reason for that, I believe, is that God is infinite and our journey unending. In order to learn more about God and the Universe we must never stop the search. The results are limitless. I also know that when I visit and revisit that secret garden within I can be one with God. I can catch glimpses of the bliss, eternity, the perfect peace anytime I consciously decide to do so. And if I can reach that place YOU CAN TOO. How, you may ask. By consciously inviting God into your heart, mind and soul. The easiest and most effective way for me to connect with the Higher Power is by spending time in nature. That is when I feel the natural energy filling me with peace. Some other ways are meditation, mindfully paying attention to my breath and consciously slowing it down, listening to music, having a meaningful conversation. Any of these methods require surrendering and having an open mind. Whichever methods we choose, we must practice them in order to continue making that connection. Try it anywhere, as often as possible. Every moment, every day of your life, if you can. At first it might feel like a workout, but think of it as working your focus muscles. Use your breath. Over time and with practice, the quicker and easier it will become to get back to our center. To God.

My advice is this: be open to discovering the Presence, the Spirit of God. Don’t let your resistance prevent you from experiencing and benefiting from the spiritual realm of life, which awaits to deliver to us profound contentment. Contentment is unveiled through non-resistance. Resistance is counterproductive to joy. We are each gifted our own personal and individual path. The only way we will feel at home is within ourselves, in the Presence. There you will know your worth and your power. If God is within me, God is also within you and each one of us. God is above, below, within and all around us, enfolding us in love, dissipating our fears and doubts. He is our constant companion and guide. There is no greater. When you allow The Spirit to align with your heart and soul you will live the life you dreamed of and wished for. You will see God in everyone. For that reason, we have to make it a point to treat everyone as if they were God, because they are. You will know with every fiber of your being that Spirit is within you. Guaranteed! It is that powerful, yet so gentle and so natural.

Make a home for God in your heart and in your soul!

Related Quotes

• Get closer to me, I’ll get closer to you. —Seals and Crofts

• Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God? —John 11:40 (NKJV)

• Make God your partner in whatever you do. —Norman Vincent Peale

• In God alone there is rest for my soul. —Psalm 62:1 (On my parents’ tombstone)

• For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light. —Psalm 36:9 (NKJV)

• I want the peace of God. —A Course In Miracles

• And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 (NKJV)

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Spirituality

Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.

—Bernard Williams

For the purpose of this book I use the terms God, Spirit, Higher Power, Presence, Universe, Creator, Love, Light and others interchangeably. For me, they all define God. In this chapter, I will examine Spirit and soul.

Spirit is God living and breathing within each one of us and within all of humanity. It’s a Universal all encompassing energy, presenting differently in each of us as our soul. Therefore, the soul is an expression of the Spirit. Our soul is eternal because Spirit is eternal. Its dimensions are totally unique to each individual human being, much like our fingerprints. We all inherit the same seed of Spirit, but the seed blossoms differently within each of us, making it our personal, very individual soul. The soul, therefore, becomes our garden, but the garden needs to be tilled in order to encourage its growth. Here the soul becomes an extension of the Spirit. Our innermost being. Our consciousness and our intuition. Our inner kingdom. It is the compass pointing us in the direction of our vision, our dream, our becoming. Spirit is the energy expressing wholeness in us, striving to express the holiness in us through the soul. It is the unseen light guiding us to experience life through peace, joy and love. Its essence is beyond form and much is hidden from our view. The soul is the core of our being. The Spirit lives in each of us, making us all come alive with passion, spark and enthusiasm. It makes our life much richer and