Lord, I'm Just Tryin' to Make It to the Other Side

By Christopher James Graves

Second Corinthians 4:17-18 states, "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen, are eternal."

The title of this book, Lord, I'm Just Tryin' to Make It to the Other Side, should be on the minds of every believer. We must understand and believe that this world is not our home. We are on our way home.

Where is home?

Home is where God is. Home is where Jesus is. Home is where our deceased loved ones and friends are. Home is where peace is.

Home is on the other side. This book speaks about that.

One day, we are going to be on "that other side." The other side where there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more struggles, and no more goodbyes and farewells.

That is what Lord, I'm Just Tryin' to Get to the Other Side talks about--walking through grief and loss (temporary) yet on our way home (eternal), where God and our deceased family members are.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9781098097219

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Lord, I'm Just Tryin' to Make It to the Other Side

Christopher James Graves

Copyright © 2021 by Christopher James Graves

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

The Beginning of My Journey

The Unknown Road That I Must Travel

Emptiness and Loneliness

Do They Really Understand How I Am Feeling?

Sundays: Past and Present

Holidays Just Aren’t the Same Anymore

Acceptance: That Huge Bitter Pill That Is So Hard to Swallow

Letting Go of Stuff: Both Physical and Emotional

Getting Help

Tomorrow Does Eventually Come

Don’t Waste Time on Petty Stuff

It Is Okay Not to Be Okay

Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

Walk Past the Hobos (Your Fears)

Spiritual Nuggets That I Found as I Made My Way down This Path toward the Other Side

My Dedication to My Mama

Lord, I’m Just Tryin’ to Make It to the Other Side is dedicated to my mama, Mrs. Edith Louise Hill Graves, who went home to be with Jesus on Monday, December 5, 2016.

The following words are from an autobiography that was written by my sister Carolyn Louise Graves a year before she lost her well-fought battle with ovarian cancer on November 28, 2012.

This is what my sister said about our mother:

My mother was born in Richmond, Virginia, but spent most of her childhood growing up in Goochland County, Virginia (forty miles west of Richmond, Virginia). My mother is a very strong-willed individual who always explained to her children the difference between right, wrong, and downright stupid. Mother has always had a positive outlook on life. Mother is a warm, caring, and nurturing person. Mother loves to travel, bake those good ole cakes and pies, and just live the best life that she is able to live. Mother always sees the positive side of life despite its many struggles, challenges, and disappointments. This is how my mother lived as a child, and that is how she is living as an adult.

I truly can’t add anything else to what my sister said except one thing: So many people loved my mother. She is missed by her son, Christopher James Graves, more than words could ever say.

Introduction

First, I want to thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to read this book called Lord, I’m Just Tryin’ to Make It to the Other Side.

The title of this book may sound cliché or like some spiritual play or movie. But it is not.

I have wished many, many times that what I have been experiencing was unreal or fictional. Sometimes I have wondered if all of this was a dream. But unfortunately, it was not. It was reality.

All of us have lost a loved one. It may have been a parent, spouse, child, grandparent, cousin, or friend. No matter who it was, that loss was hard to deal with. When we lose someone who we love, it sends a shock wave to our inner being. Whether that loss was sudden or expected, we find it hard to understand, comprehend, accept, and deal with.

When I lost my mother on Monday, December 5, 2016, my world literally turned upside down. It was unexpected, and to this day, five years later, my world still remains upside down. Let me give you a sneak peek into my world.

Ever since that day my mother went home to be with God, it has felt like this:

I am sitting in a huge movie theater, and the life of Christopher James Graves is showing on this huge movie screen, and I have been literally watching my life play out. Not participating. Just sitting in the audience watching.

I know that what I just described sounds completely incomprehensible. But that is exactly how it felt. I had just been going through the motions. Putting one foot in front of the other. Getting from point A to point B.

My mother was the last one who I lost. A family of seven has now been reduced to one. Me.

My perfect little world was no longer perfect. The journey has been long; in fact, it still is. I heard someone say that the pain and loss will never go away. It just won’t hurt as much.

Writing this book has been therapeutic. I am now opening up and inviting people into my world. So many people never understood why Chris did this or why Chris did that or why Chris acted like that. The truth is about to come out.

I hope that this book will help people who have experienced death and grief understand that it is okay not to be okay. People who are grieving the death of a loved one think that they are doing all the wrong things. They think that they should grieve a certain way. Some of the things that I want to emphasize in this book are the following:

There is no time limit on grief.

There is no certain way to grieve.

You cannot listen to everyone as you go through the process of grieving, especially those who have not walked in your shoes.

There is nothing wrong with getting counseling.

Grief counseling has this false stigma attached to it.

Everyone is not going to understand what you are going through. There are days that you will have to walk alone. But one of the main points that I want to remind that person who is grieving:

You will get through it. The loss will never go away. That is how love is. You will always miss that loved one. I miss every one of my deceased family members. But like I said, the pain will ease up more and more as time passes.

The Beginning of My Journey

My maternal grandmother, whom I affectionately called Nanny for so many years of my life, passed in August 1974. She was sixty-five.

My big brother Frank, who I affectionately called Frankie, passed in June 1981. He was twenty-two.

My father passed in August 1985. He was fifty-five.

My maternal grandfather, whom I affectionately called Papa, passed in August 1990. He was eighty-seven.

My sister Carolyn passed in November 2012. She was fifty-two.

Then the crushing blow that literally turned my world upside down occurred on December 5, 2016. I lost my mother at the tender age of ninety, and my life has never been the same.

The loss of my mother has taken me down many, many paths. Too many to name.

I really don’t know where to start as I attempt to take you, the reader, on a journey that brought me sadness, heartache, loneliness, and depression. A journey that has been