The Profile of a Psychiatric Patient through God's Eyes

By Lenys M. Martínez Ortiz

Lenys M Martinez Author

She was born in Ponce, PR. and currently lives in the state of Indiana, US. Since she was little her passion has been serving others. Her love for the gospel of Jesus Christ has inspired her to write her own life experiences to instill hope.

The diagnosis of a mental illness is not the end of your life. Even when you feel that your strength ends and your emotions betray you, there is still something you can do. Through these pages, you will witness that when your strength is not enough, then God uses his for your benefit. You won't know how important God is until he's the only thing left for you. In the process, you will be able to experience how God speaks and how he meets your needs. You will have the opportunity to see yourself as you really are, your essence and in the original design that was established for you. Only when you learn to see yourself as God sees you, can you understand that this diagnosis is not for you to live in; it is temporary and will help you reach your promised land.

As you read this book you will change mental patterns and thoughts that do not let you reach your destination.

• Faith does not deny reality; faith changes it.

• Your condition does not determine your position.

• Don't limit your power, because God is unlimited.

• The wound hurts, but the scar doesn't.

• Every history precedes a great glory.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Sep 9, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098083311

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Diagnosis

A true warrior studies each defeat, in order to turn it into victory the next time.

—Anonymous

Mental illnesses are medical conditions that affect your thoughts, feelings, mood, the ability to relate to others, and the daily functions of a person. Just like diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are disorders that at times reduce the capacity that people have to confront the ordinary demands of life.

Among the serious mental illnesses, you will find depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, and personality disorders.

My diagnosis: bipolar disorder.

Definition of bipolar disorder: Bipolar disorder is a severe mental illness that provokes drastic changes in mood swings, energy levels, and the ability to think clearly in a person. People with bipolar disorder have periods of highs and lows known as periods of mania and depression that differ from the typical highs and lows in the majority of people.

In my case, I’ve experienced agoraphobia (fear of crowds or large places), claustrophobia (fear of being enclosed in a small space), panic attacks (inexplicable fear of everything), general anxiety (exaggerated desperation), major depression (persistent feeling of sadness for a prolonged period), some personality disorder, states of mania, and episodes of impulsivity. I manifested this grand combo of symptoms as part of my bipolar disorder.

My actual status or condition was disabled.

If you want to know more, don’t throw this book aside.

Is it easy saying this? The answer is no, but it’s even harder to show I have faith. I believe that any minute I will stop feeling these symptoms that have limited me for so long, because the God that I serve is bigger than any infirmity or physical condition.

Since the day I knew I was sick, I completely refused to believe it. I started realizing the reality of what I was living little by little. Reality because reality is the basis of human nature. Let me make it perfectly clear that my permanent truth is something else. Truth is based on the spiritual, and I am a firm believer in healing miracles.

My desires to stand out and call attention to myself and to be valued and appreciated and taken into account were obstacles or stumbling blocks in my path, causing me to trip and fall over and over again.

Add to this scenario sadness, frustration, and discouragement, which almost took on personalities of their own and have been the major barriers and limitations in my life. They have accompanied me almost my entire life, failing to say that they actually live with me.

Now I understand what the Apostle Paul meant when he said, Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:7–9).

During the process of my illness, I tried to ignore all the things that would daily sink me into a bottomless pit. I couldn’t find a way out. I actually thought there was no way out, as if I had entered into a great abyss that I would never get out of.

During the span of my life, I have had to deal with many difficult situations, which have exacerbated the condition, to the point of not being able to leave my house.

Before I knew the Lord as my Father, Brother, Consoler, and the all in all of my life, considering suicide and attempting it on various occasions was nothing. Living a disorderly lifestyle and thinking I was the only one that was right and everyone else was wrong was part of my daily existence.

When I reconciled myself with the Lord, I began such a tough process that even serving him with all my might, I couldn’t understand what I was experiencing. On two occasions, I had grave relapses. I couldn’t walk into grocery stores or megastores. I also couldn’t even enter my place of work because of the anxiety and panic.

My second relapse was the worst for me. I couldn’t leave my house. Starting the car wasn’t the problem; the problem was putting it in drive to the letter D to get it going. Even though you may not believe it, I couldn’t put it in motion!

That, among others, has been a great frustration for me. To go before the Lord in my room on my knees and say to him, "God, I serve you. Help me!" and see that there was no change was frustrating and terrifying. It was several months of not being able to leave my house. It was here that the Lord spoke to me, and I applied for Social Security disability benefits, which were approved due to my diagnosis.

Meanwhile, I can tell you that several years ago (when I was able to leave my house, of course!), I was on my way to my mother’s house when in my inner being I heard the voice of God. I suddenly stopped and grabbed a notebook and a pencil. I clearly heard this: "The Profile of a Psychiatric Patient through God’s Eyes. I wrote it down just like I had heard it. I asked God, What is this?"

He responded, It’s the title of your book.

It struck me and I told myself, The title of a book, my book. The truth is, in that moment, I was thrilled, but I didn’t have the faintest idea of how to write a book. What would I talk about in it? Would I talk about myself? Everyone will know who I am? How would this help anyone?

I reminded God that when I was in college, in my class of writing and composition, I wrote a ten-page paper on the subject of love. The teacher told me in front of the entire class, "This makes no sense. You have an F. Ufffff! Tough, right? I cried like you have no idea. But over and above what a man or woman thinks, this is what God says. I wish I could remember the name of that teacher and let her know that it didn’t matter what she had told me. God has brought me to where I am today. Wherever she is, I bless her and hope that someday she’ll read this book.

Well, when the Lord told me to write this book, I had no idea how to start and much less how to finish. It’s not easy to have to relive traumas and difficult moments. Even though it’s part of the treatment for these types of conditions; it’s done in the strictest of confidence. Those things in my life that for a long time were silenced would now be told for the world to hear.

The ability to be able to do it without pain and with a different attitude and consciousness for someone on the other side, you the reader, is a great responsibility and an act of courage. To understand that, in this way, you may receive healing, restoration, deliverance, and reassurance by reading my story gives me great satisfaction. Today, even though I still have the same diagnosis and on occasions the same symptoms, I see things differently.

I have understood the following:

Faith doesn’t deny the reality of something; faith changes it.

My condition doesn’t determine my position.

God doesn’t call the able; he enables the ones he calls.

Even if I fail, God never fails.

The plan that God has for me will be fulfilled.

If he qualifies me, then no one can disqualify me.

The one who called me will back me up.

What I feel doesn’t determine who I am.

I’m the one who limits myself because God is unlimited.

My decisions are above my emotions.

Forgiving is better than hating.

The wound hurts but not the scar.

When I think everything has ended, it’s just when something new is beginning.

A title doesn’t define me as a