Dazzled: Finding the Key to Perfect Forgiveness

By Jess Echeverry, Patti Maguire Armstrong and Teresa Tomeo

Everyone needs to heal from something. We all have brokenness. Some of us don’t even recognize our wounds for what they are; the things we flaunt only hide what we fail to acknowledge. When the wounds finally do get uncovered, the pain intensifies and we want to get beyond the discomfort as soon as possible. We desire to live a normal, happy life and not to be held captive by our past. We’re told forgiveness is the key. Perhaps we know that already. We may even believe it. But do we know what perfect forgiveness actually is? The world offers a version of forgiveness whose goal is to unload our burdens so we can feel better and ‘move on’. Once we attain this level, we’re allowed to be happy. But this book suggests something radically different: the world’s version of forgiveness is sadly incomplete. It’s unfinished. Only through the transformative power of our wounds themselves, can the fullness of perfect forgiveness be attained.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jul 16, 2020
• ISBN: 9781982249175

Jess Echeverry

Jess Echeverry is a speaker, author and advocate for women and their families. As a survivor of parental divorce and alcoholism, as well as emotional, physical and sexual abuse, by her early 20s she had experienced dark periods of violence, teenage pregnancy, poverty, homelessness, abortion, same sex attraction and attempted suicide. But at 24, she met a man she would eventually marry. This man would slowly help her learn about authentic love, enabling a healing journey, a relationship with God and her forgiveness of, and eventual love for, her past abusers. Inspired by the good things God has wrought in her life, Jess now travels the world through her Mommaletics ministry (www.mommaletics.com) sharing her testimony in a way that lifts up and enlightens those who are searching for ways to heal, and touches all regardless of their individual backgrounds. She is a powerful speaker, a strong advocate and a relatable writer who has been able to, with the help of God’s grace, turn past trauma and experiences into real, transformative love for others. A native of Ft. Lauderdale, FL, Jess and her husband currently live in Los Angeles, CA and have 5 children: 2 teens at home, 2 adults in the world, 1 lovely soul in heaven... and 2 English Bulldogs! In addition to her advocacy work, Jess is the Founder and Executive Director of SOFESA (www.sofesa.org), a 501c(3) non-profit ministry dedicated to serving Southern California homeless and low-income children and their families since 1999.

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 Jess Echeverry.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

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without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical

problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The

intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you

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models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations marked RSV are taken from the Revised Standard Version of

the Bible, copyright © 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of

the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-4916-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-4918-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-4917-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020910441

Balboa Press rev. date: 07/15/2020

Contents

Dedication

Reviews

Foreword

Preface - A Note from the Co-author

Acknowledgements

Introduction - First Things First

Chapter 1 Childhood Interrupted

Chapter 2 A Failed Marriage Before It Began

Chapter 3 Into the Darkness

Chapter 4 Pregnant

Chapter 5 What is Life, Anyway?

Chapter 6 Marry Me

Chapter 7 Marital Strife

Chapter 8 Unpeeling the Layers

Chapter 9 Stepping Toward Jesus

Chapter 10 Becoming Catholic

Chapter 11 Rooting Out Pornography

Chapter 12 Forgiving Myself for Abortion

Chapter 13 One Last Thing

Chapter 14 Graces Abound

Chapter 15 A Good Listener

Epilogue – And Finally…

Dedication

For my mom and dad.

Thank you.

I love you.

Reviews

Jess’s story is shocking. Heart-wrenching. Beautifully uplifting. I couldn’t put it down and you won’t be able to either. – Rose Sweet, Catholic Author, Speaker & Coach

"It is very difficult to forgive the people that have wounded us the most. They have deformed our identity. Dazzled will take you on a healing journey of self-worth, human dignity and our identity in Christ. That discovery of who you are and whose you are makes us capable through His strength and grace to always forgive and to even love the ones who have hurt us the most. Layers of healing in this book." - Patrícia Sandoval, Intl Pro-Life & Chastity speaker, EWTN Español Co-Host & Catholic Author

"Where to start? Dazzled is a scaldingly honest memoir, a cautionary tale, and a testament to the power of the Sacrament of Matrimony. If you have suffered the trauma of sexual assault, or the ravages of pornography, or felt absolutely alone and abandoned, Jess Echeverry’s unlikely story reveals just how far the Divine Physician is willing to go to heal us, and what it’s like to fall upward. It can happen to you, too! One day, through the Lord’s unfailing grace, your gashes might even sing Alleluia. - Patrick Coffin, Author & Host, CoffinNation.com

I long to put this powerful book in the hands of the women I meet who are facing a crisis pregnancy, a situation that is often the outcome of a life filled with emotional wounds and neglect, but also in the hands of those who are being called to serve in the pro-life apostolate who are often also carrying unresolved pain. Jess’ astonishing story proves that we are unconditionally loved by God and that He invites us into His wondrous life of grace no matter what has happened in our life - and commands us to imitate Him in the magnanimous act of true forgiveness. -Astrid Bennett Gutierrez, Executive Director, The VIDA Initiative & Los Angeles Pregnancy Services, EWTN Host

"When Jess asked me to read her story, I hesitated. Usually, it takes me days or weeks to get through a review manuscript, and who has the time? What I did not expect was a story so factually shocking and spiritually compelling that I read it straight through the night with my jaw open, willingly foregoing sleep because I could not put it down. The saints say that the cross is our ladder to Heaven, and Jess was given many heavy crosses from a young age. God has done a mighty work through Jess’s suffering and redemption, and every soul who needs a steroid shot of Faith, Hope, and Love should read this inspiring book." – Leila Miller, Catholic Author: Impossible Marriages Redeemed: They Didn’t End The Story in the Middle & more

"In Dazzled, Jess weaves a mighty, vulnerable story of deep brokenness, human dignity, and inter-generational healing. Hers is a story of profound trauma and loss but also of unflinching courage and the astonishing power of forgiveness. You will be awestruck. Jess’ luminous account of suffering and faith is a reminder of the beautiful ache in all of us for God’s profound love." – Molly Sheahan, Founder, We are Pro Life Women

"Dazzled is a life-changing invitation for readers to lay all of themselves down at the foot of the cross and experience the transformative healing of Christ." – Lindy Wynne, MA Pastoral Care & Counseling, Mamas in Spirit Podcast Host, Speaker & Retreat Leader

"This book took me deeply into the raw suffering of Jess’s life and yet never allowed me to walk without the overwhelming consolation of Mercy. This is the Gospel come alive! Bringing the message that Christ enters into the center of our storms to heal and to permeate with Hope and Joy. We are all wounded in some way. Are you ready to heal? Prepare to be Dazzled." – Melody Lyons, Author/Founder, The Essential Mother

I read it straight through. Couldn’t put it down. Jess understands what human dignity means. Through her journey of pain, and then forgiveness, she helps us ask the most important questions today: Who are You, Lord? And who am I? – Clare Short, Di Clara

"No person, no situation, is beyond the saving hand of God. Sometimes we face circumstances or even relationships that we believe are unchangeable. Dazzled tells the story of one woman who, by the saving grace of God and the graces given in marriage, saw her life transformed and healed." – Timmerie Millington, Radio Host, Trending with Timmerie, Relevant Radio

"Pain and suffering are an inextricable part of the human experience, consequence of original sin. In her book Dazzled, Jess Echeverry takes us through her story, a story of pain and hope. Through her coming into the Catholic Church, Jess discovers the redemptive value of suffering. Our Lord Jesus Christ never promised us happiness—as we read in John 14:27. He left us something more enduring. Christ left us His peace. Jess’s story is one of a lifetime search for that peace, and her arrival at a destination every human being is yearning for, not a place, but rather an intimate relationship with God. Ultimately, Dazzled is a book about forgiveness and this is how its message can be of value to anyone who encounters it. We have all been hurt and left with scars. Everyone has a need to forgive or a wound to heal. In the end, this is the only way we can be truly free in order to fulfill the reason for our existence: to give ourselves entirely to God. I highly recommend Dazzled!" – Cristofer Pereya, CEO, Tepayac Leadership Inc.

"One of the common pastoral concerns we often come across in our priestly ministry is emotional and psychological burdens carried by individuals for long periods of time due to abuse and dysfunctional families. Even as their faith calls them to forgive and journey towards healing, the gravity of human pain often chains them to their past. Dazzled gracefully narrates this difficult yet significant journey of forgiveness through faith. While Jessica’s story helps many who have gone through similar experiences of abuse and pain to identify their own, her own journey of healing and forgiveness, especially through faith, would help many to envision their own journey of healing and wholeness. The book can help them say, If Jess can, so can I.

Knowing Jess, as an active member of the parish where I served, as a supportive and loving wife to her Deacon husband, and a good and diligent Christian mother to her children, this book opened up to me her other self. Reading about her life has made me appreciate the depth of her authentic personality behind that wonderful smile. I recommend this book to all who are on their own journey with God towards healing and forgiveness. I also recommend this to pastors and ministers, for books like these helps us to be grounded while we administer to the spiritual needs of the people.

I wish God’s many blessings on Jessica and her husband Deacon Charlie Echeverry. May God continue to use this wonderful Christian couple in spreading His love and building His Kingdom." – Fr. Charles Vujay Kumar, CSsr, Redemptorist Priest & Filmmaker

Foreword

We are all in some way walking wounded. No one gets out of this life unscathed and as Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:45 "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Our pains, regrets, and whatever shame we may have attached to previous or current problems in our lives can and often do define us. At first glance, this may seem depressing even overwhelming, especially if that list of hurts is long and messier, or so we think, than the issues faced by those around us. It all depends, as you will read in Jessica’s amazing journey, on whom you’re allowing to write that definition.

Many years ago, when I was making my way back to the Catholic Church, I enrolled in a local Bible study. Our instructor at the time would often quote an old Arab proverb; all sunshine makes a desert. I understood generally what she was trying to impart. We learn and grow through suffering. The tough times can teach us the most important lessons. Blah, blah, blah. I got it but didn’t really want to get it if you know what I mean. At the time I began that study, I was not only healing a marriage that was hanging on by a thread but healing my own set of wounds from an all-consuming news reporting career that had taken its toll. On top of all the personal issues I was also struggling professionally after recently being laid off. Unemployment is never a pleasant experience and even more difficult when you’re a media personality. The neighbors, folks at the grocery store, post office, gas station and just about anyone not to mention everywhere on God’s green earth, are used to seeing your mug on the evening news every night. In other words, you cannot go anywhere without being not only recognized but reminded. The pain seemed to be all around me. I felt that I would be forever defined by a very public setback.

Slowly the