I Am Not Her!: My Past Doesn't Define Me

By Darion Hughes

How do you acknowledge something that you don't give a face to? You can't recognize it if you're constantly acting as if whatever hurt you've been subjected to doesn't exist. Generational curses are being passed down because people are taught not to speak on the "uncomfortable hurt." Many people come from families/communities that sweep everything under the rug like the issue never happened. How do you move on with life if your mind is in bondage due to your unaddressed issues? The moment you acknowledge abuse, molestation, depression, suicidal thoughts, addiction, or abandonment (whatever has given you pain) is the moment you give that thing a face. That's when healing takes place. That's when that thing is real and your identity is no longer associated with your past. That thing is no longer leeching off your existence. You can look in the mirror and actually see a person, versus whatever you've labeled yourself or whatever people have labeled you. You can finally talk about the situation and no longer be embarrassed/ashamed of it. Exposure brings about healing. Healing is the key to accomplishing life and giving it our all. That's all God wants from us. Think of life like a buried diamond. How can God use you, or how can you live life to your fullest potential if you are buried in dirt? The diamond is there. However, the different layers of earth are keeping the diamond in bondage. Therefore, there's no use for it at that point. It is simply being prepared to shine bright. I listen to classical music because it triggers the inner child within myself. It brings back bananas covered in peanut butter and the sticker apples that were put on the plastic tree if you behaved (the apple was removed for bad behavior). Mozart would play through the room as we napped on our mats. It brought back the smell of cinnamon that used to cover my father's studio office. Thinking of these good moments will not take away the hurt that wasn't addressed. Get to the bottom of it so that you can glow and live life to the fullest! You deserve nothing but the best, so go for it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9781645699606

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I Am Not Her

Darion Hughes

Copyright © 2019 by Darion Hughes

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

This book is dedicated to Khurie Noel and Darius King, my daughter and son. I am elated to share my experiences with you guys so that you learn how difficult life can be if God is not put first. Although some circumstances are out of our control, a lot of them can be prevented if we stay rooted in his word. I pray daily that you will have confidence, self-love, and self-value. You are so special! God has made each of you uniquely. This means you aren’t meant to be like everyone else but to stand out in the crowd. Stand out and shine bright!

Preface

Being a single mother, I must be realistic with myself as well. I have a ton of set goals and aspirations. However, there are road blocks and obstacles that can impact the process. Life is a personal choice and the decisions that you choose to make/take are extremely important in it. The circumstances don’t prevent me from accomplishing my goals and dreams but can prolong the amount of time for completion. I realize that time doesn’t wait for people to make the right decisions, and it is important not to waste any of your time or procrastinate. Magnify your strengths and weaknesses. People are drawn to my personality because I am optimistic, and I’m confident in my well-being. This is also applied to my life outside of work. There are financial issues that come along with being a single mom, but I’ve grown to view the brighter side of things. For example, I magnify the fact that I have my own house, I just received a raise, I have my own transportation, and my children have everything that they need. I know for a fact that with an optimistic perspective, life will get better. Some of the weaknesses that I have are that I can be pushy/bossy and impatient. If there is a goal that I’m looking to achieve, and someone is getting in the way of that, I can come off as being selfish. I am also a perfectionist, so I can be a little too hard on myself (if things don’t go as planned). For example, I had my life mapped out the way that I wanted it to be at the age of twenty-four. It didn’t turn out that way, and sometimes I over think it. There are plenty of opportunities to flourish through any circumstance/obstacle. Going to church has also helped me through my faith because it helps to hear positive, encouraging, and inspirational speeches to motivate me to do more. One of the ways that I’ve learned to get through life is continuing to remain positive. When I feel myself starting to doubt my capabilities, I journal and listen to an inspirational tune (praying is also meditation for me). Throughout my life, I’ve had to rid it of any distractions that