Quit Doubting, Trust God

By Christine Young

Quit Doubting, Trust God by Christine Young

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781638741251

Book preview

1

My Beginning

I was born in Lebanon, Pennsylvania, in 1949. The oldest of seven children. Even though it sounds prideful, according to the Bible, my birth was a miracle.

You did form my inward parts: You did knit me together in my mother’s womb. My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret, intricately and curiously wrought in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:13–16

Looking back, I realize that even though I was unaware of it, God was always with me, concerning Himself with the smallest details of my life. The Book of Hosea has a verse I love concerning God’s tender care. In these words you can see how much God truly loves every one of us. Replace the word Ephraim (a tribe in Israel) with your own name and see how personal God can be to you, as He has been to me.

Yet I taught Israel [Christine] to walk, taking them [her] up in my arms. I drew them [her] with cords of a man, with bands of love, and I was to them [her] as one who lifts and eases the yoke over their [her] cheeks and I bent down to them [her] and gently laid food before them [her].

Hosea 11:3–4

I am not adding to the Bible by inserting my name into the verses. Many times the Lord tells us of His love for us. I have learned that God is no respecter of persons.

And Peter opened his mouth and said: Most certainly and thoroughly I now perceive and understand that God shows no partiality and is no respecter of persons.

Acts 10:34

For God shows no partiality, undue favor or unfairness: with Him one man is not different from another.

Romans 2:11

The Lord loves me just as much as He did all those people we read about in the Bible. If He took care of the people in the Bible, He will also take care of you and me. He even counts the hairs on our head!

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God. But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many flocks of sparrows.

Luke 12:6–7

For many years I believed that God would answer prayer and perform miracles for other people but not for me. I had such a low opinion of myself I felt condemned and rejected by God. I did not see God as good. I saw Him as a supreme authority waiting to punish me for the slightest fault. I had witnessed true miracles and saw people get mighty answers to prayer, but that did not bring me joy. I felt even more rejected. Was God really willing to help me? I doubted it. It took me many years to know that God is willing and actually wants to help and bless me. He is willing and He wants to help and bless you also.

Jesus reached out His hand and said, I am willing.

Luke 5:13

2

My Background

My mother was a housewife whose parents were very well-to-do. By today’s standards, they would be multimillionaires. My grandfather started working as a teenager. He pushed a cart through the Bethlehem Steel Company in Pennsylvania, selling candy. His work ethics were noticed, and he was offered a position with the company. Eventually he worked his way up to third from the top of the entire company.

My father and his parents were coal miners. That did not sit well with my mother’s parents. They felt my father was not equal to their status. As a young child I overheard an argument between them. My grandfather told my father he felt he only married into the family because he thought my mother had a silver spoon in her mouth. I don’t believe that was true. My father was a meticulous hard worker who always had a job. Eventually the negativity between my mother’s parents and my father went away. However, due to the discord between them, when I was young, my parents would never ask for help, no matter how serious things were.

My parents loved to continually move. From the time I was born until I got married we moved thirty-nine times. When I was four we moved from Pennsylvania to Texas. Two years later my parents moved the family to Louisiana. Louisiana was our home for the next four years. The first miracle I remember took place there. I was seven. My father had been laid off from his engineering job and was unable to find work anywhere. Eventually one prospective company told him why no one would hire him. My father had been used to receiving a high wage. The companies he was approaching for jobs could not pay him the wages he was used to. Therefore they felt when he was offered a better job, he would leave.

Without an income, my family ran into financial problems. The day came when the only food left in the house was some potatoes. My mother made German potato salad, which we ate three meals a day for a week. To this day I can’t stand German potato salad. On the seventh day, at lunch, my dad prayed, Well, Lord, tonight we will be thanking you for the salt and pepper as there is nothing left.

That afternoon, my grandparents on my mother’s side came from Pennsylvania surprising us with a visit. No one knew they were coming as they had never come to visit before. When they came in the door they handed each of us a hundred-dollar bill. At that time there were five of us as my parents now had three children. That meant $500! My grandmother then told us how the trip originated. She was in the backyard hanging up laundry when her neighbor came over. She said to my grandmother, Something is wrong with your daughter in Louisiana. You need to go there. My grandmother went into the house, told my grandfather, and they left for Louisiana immediately.

The money they gave us provided for our family until my father got a job again.

Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to eat? Or, what are we going to have to wear? For the heathen wish for and crave these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you have need of them all. But seek, aim at and strive after first of all His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right], and then all these things taken together will be given to you besides. So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:31–34

As a child, I had just witnessed my first miracle, but I did not realize it. I did not yet have a relationship with the Lord.

Going to church was the norm for my family; it was the proper thing to do. While in Louisiana, my parents attended a church that was excellent in teaching and preaching the Word of God. My Sunday school and youth group classes encouraged Bible study and the memorization of Bible verses. I learned many verses and all the books of the Bible. I have been forever thankful for those teachers that encouraged this:

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

My parents could have chosen any church to attend, but I believe God led them to this one to give me a firm foundation. Many times, through my darkest hours, a verse I learned would come to mind and bring me comfort.

In the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, Your comforts delight and cheer my soul!

Psalm 94:19

I also learned that I needed to invite the Lord into my heart. At age seven, in childlike faith, I knelt and asked Jesus to enter my heart and be my Savior. I must admit, I understood very little about what I was doing, yet somehow I knew that was something I needed to do. I was baptized shortly after.

Jesus said, Allow the little ones to come to me and do not hinder them for of these is the kingdom of heaven composed.

Matthew 19:14

Even though I was young and did not understand what I was doing, the Lord was faithful. As He promised, He has stayed with me all my life, even though I was not fully aware of Him.

If you acknowledge and confess with your lips that Jesus is your Lord, and in your heart believe [adhere to, trust in, and rely on the truth] that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Romans 10:9

Where could I go from your Spirit? Or where could I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven You are there: if I make my bed in the place of the dead, behold You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall Your right hand lead me and Your right hand shall hold me.

Psalm 139:7–10

Looking back, I realize my father was different than most men. He painted our refrigerator aqua blue with a bright orange handle. At Christmas our house did not smell like fresh pine. It smelled like spray paint. Dad always spray painted our real pine tree pink, blue, or any other color he fancied that year.

My father was also different in the way he disciplined his children. There were occasions when we would get spanked with a belt. However, it was not uncommon for him to introduce a new way of disciplining us. My little brother and sister were hung by the back of their shirts on coat hooks. That would cause their shirts to choke them. Dad only left them hanging for a minute or two, so it did not cause them harm, but they got the message. I was too tall for that to work on me. My feet touched the floor when he tried to hang me.

One of my father’s favorite ways of disciplining was to sit us in a chair with our arms extended in front of us. Of course our arms would get tired and start to sink down. When that happened, Dad would hit them with a ruler. It also was not uncommon for us to be handcuffed to a chair and made to stay that way for a while. I hated that the most as I hated sitting still for a long time. My mother never questioned my father’s way of doing things. She remained silent.

In 1959 I was ten. Once again my parents decided to move. This time it was really hard on me. Having been in the South most of my young life, I had a very strong southern accent. My parents moved to Pennsylvania where my grandparents lived. I now lived in an area where everyone either had a German accent or Pennsylvania Dutch accent. I could not understand anyone, and they could not understand me. I was that sweet li’l southaaarn girrrl, and I hated it. I hated the food too. I was used to grits, gumbo, etc. Now it seemed everything was made with vinegar and sugar, the typical German sweet-and-sour-type foods. We did not stay in that area very long as my dad decided to move again. Morgantown, Pennsylvania, became our new place of residence.

Morgantown was made up almost entirely of an Amish and Mennonite population. Horse and buggies, alongside black cars with black-painted chrome, was a common sight. This sweet little southern girl was soon to experience another culture shock. My dad enrolled my sister, brother, and myself into an Amish school. Nearly all of the children and teachers wore the typical Amish clothing—long plain dresses with no buttons (they used pins) and bonnets. There were a few Mennonite girls that wore little white nets on their heads instead of bonnets. I was not Amish or Mennonite, so I wore neither. I did, however, have to follow some rules. I was not allowed to cut my hair, and I had to wear long dresses with long sleeves.

In this school, two to three classes per room was the norm. I was in sixth grade with only nine children in my class. In the same room were the twelfth graders; there were three of them. My teacher taught both grades in my classroom. The school was as big as a medium-sized house, and there were only three classrooms in the entire school. All of the students ate lunch in the kitchen of the house at the same time.

3

The 1960s

1964

When my brother Larry was three weeks old, he came down with pneumonia. My parents took him to the hospital, and he was admitted with little hope of recovering. The doctor told my parents the prognosis was very grim. Everyone was praying. For six days there was little change in his condition; it was feared he was going to die. On the evening of the sixth day, a praying visitor looked up to see Jesus standing at the foot of Larry’s crib. Jesus said, He will be okay, and was gone. The visitor came and related the story to our family. Larry took an immediate change for the better and was sent home the next morning.

The Lord will sustain, refresh, and strengthen him on his bed of languishing: You [Lord] will turn, change and transform in his illness.

Psalm 41:3

While living in Morgantown, Pennsylvania, my dad decided to do printing for a man in New York State. Our kitchen became a print shop as well as a kitchen. The