Altschmerz

By Javier Rhoden

A powerful exploration of the human experience through a series of personal and intimate reflections to freshen your perspective. 

 

Altschmerz takes you on a journey through the depths of pain and despair that many of us encounter in our lives. The lingering anxiety that grips your soul, the feeling of paralysis that leaves you with no new options to consider - this is what the author calls "old pain." 

 

Through a series of personal and intimate reflections, you will come to understand how to deal with difficult emotions and experiences that have long been buried in your psyche. From the ups and downs of domestic relationships, to the scars of childhood trauma, from the courage required to stand up to fear and abuse, to the strength needed to overcome obstacles and find true self-worth, Altschmerz is a powerful exploration of the human experience. 

 

This is a book for anyone who has ever felt trapped in anxiety or fear, and who needs a fresh perspective on life to get through the tough times. Whether you are struggling with emotional pain or simply need inspiration and guidance towards a brighter future, Altschmerz offers a vision of hope and possibility that will stay with you long after its pages have been turned.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Javier Rhoden
• Release date: Jul 18, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215330630

Javier Rhoden

This was the introduction to my spirituality and learning how to do things for myself. The extension of help I gift to others could only come from the capacity in how I’ve helped myself. It was then, I understood that as a human, experiences were needed for growth and this growth can only sprout from branching out of my comfort zone. At the end of it all, I wanted to build something more meaningful by planting seeds from the darkness of life, to watch it grow and spread among different people, thus generating light. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will die one day and in no way, would I want there to be any regret for making the same decisions the masses believed to be the right ones, meanwhile neglecting my gift as the last choice. After all, the goal in this life, my life, is to express this consciousness healthily.

Book preview

weariness comes

with old persistent issues

when you’ve always felt

the same tiresome flaws

––––––––

anxiety torments you for years

leaving a saturation in tastelessness

you remain paralyzed

without new perspectives to ponder

with nothing left to do

but disgorge them from inner oblivion

only to wander off

to the backyard of corpses

ready to dig up the pain

in preservation from being buried

long ago

altschmerz is a compound noun

meaning old pain

also by Javier Rhoden

Luminescence

Lamentations

concepts

egg...................................................................................5

caterpillar.......................................................................43

chrysalis.........................................................................81

butterfly.......................................................................106

synopsis

in childhood, tribulations formed chrysalides

to reinforce development in character

evolution through those ages

taught how to scatter scabs, like eggs

from beaded flesh, so in adaptation to darkness

metamorphosis would occur

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scars navigated emotions like spiritual compasses

artful compositions were collapses in fear

by flesh out of inner silences to move on from the past

experiences illustrated imagination like canvases

in allowance of pens to unfurl in vastness

breaths out-distanced inches to lengthened ink

in travels among fields of pages to splotch like brush strokes

as touch up to portraits of a better you

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collectively, we don’t have to live in absence of ourselves

art communities thrived in openness of itself

with information to become versed in

by feeding the heart virtuousness

kindness manufactured softness as insecurities lessened

mistakes transfused to synonyms with lessons, this

a widespread of depth to keep you in flight

beyond skylines of existence

––––––––

childbirth was a rooting

grounding developed from learning

to learn, was living in utilization

of responsibilities like diaries

to mindfully elevate away from a self

you never examined

levitation resulted from maturation in free spiritedness

––––––––

come adulthood, time will reveal what mattered most

upon calling to collect its debt, a certain death

either in wisdom, or you had none

we possess no weather controls for gloomy seasons

but you can regain solidity within yourself

to ensure emergence

domestication.

in flutters of lashes

scripts were recited which no one deciphered

wrinkles of life imprinted youth

floor space beneath eyes resembled depressions

from debilitated moons

––––––––

dear journal:

through sleepless nights

father outmatched quarrels against a battered softness

this snapped to a heated separation

breaths were scorched in distortion

with reddened insecurities and other colored wires for detonation

––––––––

note to mother:

ravaged by backsides of leathered rawness

impersonated hues of refractions, which proved

innocence stood in wetness from storms of sin

defiance against tones of handsomeness

resulted in endless scrubs of skin

brownness transited to dirtiness

where blood settled in as discipline

––––––––

lesions healed darker in cloaks of mobile dark matter

sweaters of anxiety muffled screams from open flesh

to prevent confessions in curious gazes

––––––––

dear youth:

though sadness was witnessed in starless night fall

other children with ruptured faith, erupted tears

emotional cycles fell as side effects from environments

observation was mental stimulation in awareness, oh

how eyes gave insights to unspoken dispositions

––––––––

note to bisected bond:

subjection were signatures of parents on certificates of birth

with no information