Hamster HQ

By Darren Mennie

My wife and I bought our daughters a Syrian hamster, Fluffy, who became a much-loved part of our family. Our children were convinced that Fluffy had a secret life. I eventually wrote Hamster HQ to try to answer the question of what did Fluffy do when we turned the lights off?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Nov 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9781398436930

Darren Mennie

Darren Mennie can usually be found reading a science fiction book or watching science fiction on TV. Writing books for children was always on his wish list and the publication of the children’s book Hamster HQ this year will finally make that a reality. He loves cycling and spends way too much time on his day job of running a small installation company! He lives in Somerset in the UK with his wife and family.

Book preview

About the Author

Darren Mennie can usually be found reading a science fiction book or watching science fiction on TV. Writing books for children was always on his wish list and the publication of the children’s book Hamster HQ this year will finally make that a reality. He loves cycling and spends way too much time on his day job of running a small installation company! He lives in Somerset in the UK with his wife and family.

Dedication

Fluffy was a very much-loved hamster in our family. I would like to dedicate this book to his memory and my children Lauren, Sophie and Bethany who gave me the inspiration to write this story.

Copyright Information ©

Darren Mennie 2022

The right of Darren Mennie to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781398436923 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781398436930 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2022

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgement

I would like to thank all of the staff at Austin Macauley Publishers for their help in getting the book this far.

I would also like to thank Dom Davies for the artwork on the covers. I think this captures the spirit of Hamster HQ perfectly.

Chapter 1

The Mission

Fluffy smiled as he looked around his cage. His humans called his cage, the Hamster Palace. He chuckled as he considered that living in a hamster palace was something, which some hamsters would feel embarrassed about. Fluffy grinned, like all Syrian hamsters, he liked to live alone; hence there were no other hamsters around to tease him.

Actually, his hamster palace was a perfect cage for him to live in. There were four levels to his cage. The main part was at the bottom of the cage. There were some tunnels, leading away from the main level, which swept round in seemingly endless curves. These were great fun to play in, and he loved the attention that his humans gave him when he ran around them.

The next level up was reached via a vertical tube, and this contained a wheel, and the all-important drink bottle. Fluffy loved fresh water, and could not get enough of it. He had trained his humans very well, so they changed his water every day.

The best part of his cage was reached via another vertical tunnel, which lead to the bedroom. Fluffy loved his bedroom. His humans would clean his cage every week, and he would spend hours running up and down the tunnels, carrying bedding into the bedroom. Once the bedroom was completely full of bedding, he could make a nest, and settle down for the day safe, sound and wonderfully warm. He loved to sleep during the day.

The food bowl was located in the main part of the cage. His humans would fill it up every morning, and every day he would hide the food in as many parts of the cage as he could remember, although he did need to eat some of it. His humans were very kind, but he knew a few simple tricks which made them pile in extra food!

The main level had a fantastic wooden house that his humans had made for him. They really were quite silly; imagine not realising that he hid most of the food in here under his spare bedding.

Still there were a great many things that his humans did not understand about being a hamster. They thought that he had no contact with other hamsters. He shook his head at this ridiculous thought. Surely all humans realised that the hamster wheels in all cages gave a direct link to Hamster HQ? I mean how stupid can people be? He smiled, fancy thinking that all hamsters do is sleep, and then run round, stupid, wheels all night for no reason.

Fluffy thought of the particular speeds that he had to get the wheel to turn at, in order to communicate with Hamster HQ. The older hamsters who had designed the wheels thought that 33 and one third rpm was quite a suitable speed, although he didn’t get the joke. He was a modern hamster, and used to CD’s, which rotated between 200 and 500 rpm at least according to the internet. This old-fashioned vinyl record nonsense didn’t mean very much to him, but he was grateful that no one had ever set the rpm based on CD’s.

Fluffy laughed. He had very short legs, and with the best will in the world he would never make 200 rpm on his wheel. He paused as he considered this. The commanders at Hamster HQ were very smart. He was merely an adventurer who should soon be sent on his first mission. Fluffy wiped a tear from his eye and climbed into the wheel, when Hamster HQ sent for him, he would be ready. He puffed out his chest, he was now sixteen weeks old a hamster in prime physical condition, and raring to prove to the world that he was every bit as brave as his legendary father.

Fluffy tried to compose himself as he thought about his father. He had never really known him, and had grown up listening to tales of his father’s heroism from every hamster he had contact with. Sometimes, he did secretly feel sad. What was the point of having a superhero father if everybody, except you, knew all about him?

Some things in life are just not fair, he concluded. However, Fluffy was determined that, when the call came, he would be ready to be braver than any hamster had ever been before. He jumped into his wheel, and started to accelerate. He reached the magic speed, and held his breath. One day, there would be a message from Hamster HQ, surely there had to be.

The secret lights in the wheel came on! Fluffy was so surprised he almost fell out of the wheel. Concentrate Fluffy he told himself, this could be the first mission.

Fluffy are you there? a voice asked.

Yes, who am I speaking to? Fluffy asked: stunned.

All of his life he had dreamed about contact with Hamster HQ. Occasionally, other hamsters were on the wheel waves as they were called, but these guys were generally just looking for somebody to talk to. A massive lump had formed in Fluffy’s throat. He began to panic that he would not be able to talk to Hamster HQ!

This is the General, I thought that everyone knew my voice, came the stern reply.

I am afraid that we have never spoken sir, Fluffy managed to reply, in a tiny voice.

He took a deep breath, and tried to compose himself. This was his lifetime ambition. He did not want to blow it by speaking too quietly, or falling out of the wheel. The wheels’ lights started to dim, as it was turning too slowly. Fluffy swallowed hard and accelerated, despite his panic. The wheels’ lights lit up again, and he forced himself to breathe.

What? What are you saying? Ah yes, good point young hamster. That’s why we always need sharp new minds. Very good point: indeed. Now let’s see what we need to discuss.

Fluffy gulped. Is this my first mission, sir?

Yes, we think that it is time that we found out if you are a chip off the old block.

I am sure that I am sir. I am sure that I am ready for anything, Fluffy stammered.

Well, I jolly well hope so, as I am afraid that I have a very special mission. I am afraid that my granddaughter has lost contact with Hamster HQ, the General whispered, his voice laden with sadness.

Oh, General that is terrible, I am sure that I can get her back for you.

That’s the spirit son. Now I need you to make your way to Hamster HQ, so that I can give you a personal briefing. Can you get out of your cage?

Of course, sir I will be out in a moment.

I think that you had better wait, until I have given you your instructions.

Of course, sir, how silly of me, Fluffy began.

I think that we all have to remember that this is your first mission son. I knew your father very well, and frankly if he were still here then I would be sending for him to get my granddaughter. This is a bit of a tight spot and I think that the situation is a little delicate, the General said.

Can you tell me a little more sir?

My granddaughter was on the Space Station with her family. The Americans sent their Space Shuttle up to resupply the station, and the family came down on the Space Shuttle. Can you imagine how distraught they were, when they found that their daughter was nowhere to be found?

So, you think that she is still on board the Space Station? Fluffy asked, wondering what on earth a Space Station and a Space Shuttle actually were.

He tried to compose himself. The General was hardly likely to pick him if he had no idea about things in the big wide world, would he? He tried really hard to think of something smart to say, and then decided to wait for the General to speak.

We can only hope that she is still on the Space Station. After all the consequences of her not being on the station, are simply too horrible to contemplate.

Fluffy had no idea what the consequences of the General’s granddaughter not being on the Space Station were. He forced himself to keep running, as this would keep the wheel at the correct speed. The functionality in hamster wheels was well-disguised, but Fluffy did wonder if anybody had ever really considered that trying to have a conversation and running at the same time was really hard work?

OK sir I am ready to follow in my father’s footsteps. Now how do I get to Hamster HQ?

What, oh yes. Do you know what a rat is?

Yes, they are horrible creatures. Not very trustworthy things, I have heard.

I think that you might need to get over some of these prejudices.

Confusion washed through Fluffy. Why, is that sir?

There is a rat waiting outside your house. He is going to take you to the river. At the river, you will receive further instructions on how to complete the next stage of your travels.

I shall go and see him immediately.

I think that would be wise and try not to antagonise him, the General replied, his tone still stern.

He is not dangerous, is he? Fluffy asked timidly.

His mind raced as he considered rats. They were always portrayed as awful animals. Why would Hamster HQ associate with them?

Em, I think that depends on how you are defining dangerous. However, I keep saying this, but you are a chip off the old block, so it’s time you got going.

Thanks, and goodbye sir. I will see you soon, Fluffy replied quickly.

He leapt out of his wheel, and raced to his secret stash of emergency food. He pulled back the bedding, and smiled as he looked at the sunflower seeds he had hidden there. These were his favourite snacks. This was an emergency, and like all self-respecting hamsters he intended to make sure that he had enough food to last for at least the start of the journey. He stuffed his cheek pouches, and then considered what he was doing. He hated gulping his food, but from what he knew of rats then having stuffed cheek pouches was not going to be a good idea.

Fluffy grinned. His humans did not know that he frequently left his cage. He had always meticulously replaced the lid, when he had let himself out of his cage, although it was complicated. He gathered his strength, and pushed his house. It was made of stout wood, and it weighed more than he did. He gritted his teeth, and smiled again. Size for size, his teeth were probably bigger than a sabre toothed tiger’s, although he had never met a real one.

Shaking his head, he tried to focus. He had a mission, his lifetime dream; this was a strange time to start worrying about extinct species. Still, there was a first time for everything. He felt himself overheating, as he finally got his house into the required position, which would allow him to escape.

Now he needed the cheese house, which the humans had bought him. He bit deeply into the cheese house, and forced it on top of his house. Fluffy could feel himself overheating. This was harder than ever before, although he knew it was simply a matter of composing himself. He wondered if he would get on with the rat that was waiting for him. He could not shake off the idea, that he was about to become a hamster burger! Fluffy puffed out his chest; he had no intention of becoming fast food for a rat!

He manoeuvred the cheese house into position. Nimbly he climbed on top, and pushed at the cage lid. The lid popped open, with a terrifyingly loud noise.

Fluffy froze. He lived in the playroom, which was rarely used after dark. But things could change. His eyes scoured the room as he looked for tell-tale signs of people entering.

Fluffy felt himself stop breathing. He forced himself to breathe, as he realised that no one was there. This was really very exciting. He had been out of his cage almost every night, since he had come to live with his humans. But this was different, as tonight he was going to travel to Hamster HQ!

Fluffy allowed himself a satisfied smile, as he balanced on the edge of the cage. He spent too long thinking about his next move. He fell off with a resounding splat. Fluffy blushed. He did not look like an all-action hero at the moment. In fact, his bottom was very sore, as