I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course...

By Barbara Venkataraman

Winner of the "Indie Book of the Day" award, this short collection of humorous essays explores such quirky topics as annoying pet people ("I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course"), analyzing your inner child ("Irrational Fears") and how to live like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane ("A Jolt of Electricity").

Included are also stories of just how much damage can be caused by a sneeze ("It All Started with a Loud Sneeze"), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste ("Ask Me No Questions"), how not to prepare dinner ("Martha, I Let You Down"), making new friends ("Friends in Low Places"), how a parent's obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex ("Crazy Hobbies"), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens ("Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic").

If you don't see yourself in one of these entertaining essays, then I'm not talking about you, of course...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Next Chapter
• Release date: Nov 8, 2022
• ISBN: 4867523275

Book preview

I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course...

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, OF COURSE...

QUIRKY ESSAYS FOR QUIRKY PEOPLE BOOK 1

BARBARA VENKATARAMAN

Copyright (C) 2011 Barbara Venkataraman

Layout design and Copyright (C) 2022 by Next Chapter

Published 2022 by Next Chapter

Cover art by CoverMint

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the author’s permission.

CONTENTS

Books by Barbara Venkataraman

I’m Not Talking About You, Of Course…

Irrational Fears

It All Started With A Loud Sneeze

A Jolt Of Electricity

Crazy Hobbies

Ask Me No Questions

Friends In Low Places

Martha, I Let You Down

Nightmare At The Sleep Clinic

Next in the Series

About the Author

BOOKS BY BARBARA VENKATARAMAN

Death by Didgeridoo (Jamie Quinn Cozy Mystery #1)

The Case of the Killer Divorce (Jamie Quinn Cozy Mystery #2)

Peril in the Park (Jamie Quinn Cozy Mystery #3)

Engaged in Danger (Jamie Quinn Cozy Mystery #4)

Jeopardy in July (Jamie Quinn Cozy Mystery #5)

Malice in Miami (Jamie Quinn Cozy Mystery #6)

Jamie Quinn Mysteries Box Set: Books 1-3

Jamie Quinn Mysteries Box Set: Books 4-6

Jamie Quinn Mysteries Box Set: Books 1-6

I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course (Quirky Essays for Quirky People #1)

A Trip to the Hardware Store (Quirky Essays for Quirky People #2)

A Smidge of Crazy (Quirky Essays for Quirky People #3)

Teatime with Mrs. Grammar Person

If You'd Just Listened To Me In The First Place

The Fight for Magicallus

Accidental Activist: Justice for the Groveland Four (Co-Author)

Scary Shorts: Flash Fiction

Holiday Shorts: Flash Fiction

Valentine Shorts: Flash Fiction

Dog Days of Summer Shorts: Flash Fiction

A Year of Shorts: Flash Fiction

I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, OF COURSE…

I’m not talking about you, of course, but pet owners can be so annoying. Oh, I know what you’re thinking-that I just don’t understand and that, clearly, I have never experienced the joy of pet ownership. To that I say you may have a point. But, seriously, why the need for a bumper sticker that proclaims: I love my Labrador Retriever? Are you hoping that fellow Labrador enthusiasts will feel a kinship towards you and avoid rear-ending your car? Or, are you hoping they will pull