Prophetic Poems

By Vonce Dajour

Told through poetry alone, South Carolina Quarrels is the first book in the Prophetic Poems series, which revolves around the life of the author from the emotional perspective of a poet's mind. Forced into the military and trained to be a sailor, the poems start when the author gets stationed in South Carolina in one of the most rigorous academi

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vonce Dajour
• Release date: Aug 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9798885906371

Book preview

Part One—

Home → South Carolina

Origins

This first poem is about

That time when my heart was filled with doubt.

The dreadful and anxious wait

Of struggling against an unknown fate.

To give you some background on me,

I’ll tell of my life and family

Before I left for the military.

Way back home,

I was always alone.

It was a home that was broken.

Much was left unspoken.

Never a moment of peace,

No, the pain and suffering never did cease.

Always yelling and arguing

A household of utter sin.

It was Hell on Earth. Degraded worth

Was all that I learned

Though for a real family I yearned.

My father and mother were always at war

And school was certainly a bore

But also awful for someone like me

Who grew up so restricted by their family.

A family that didn’t allow them to have friends

So their social life came to an end

Before it could even begin,

By the fourth grade of school

Because he could never be cool.

He didn’t know how to talk or interact with others

Due to the bubble made by his father and mother.

No, he was an outcast by birth

Born into a family that would give him zero worth.

So, here I am, trying to make worth of my own

Creating my own empire from a broken home

Always and forever alone.

Until eighteen, I wasn’t a person at all

But as an adult the wall

That my parents had made began to fall

For I had grown tall

With independence and liberty,

They would no longer shackle me.

But remnants of what they did cling to me

And I can’t escape my family.

And now I’m stuck in the military.

Even if I became a ghost

I’d still be the unholy host

To the monster and demons they made in my heart

No matter how much I try to part

Ways with them,

There is no end.

I could keep going, but the poem would be too long,

A Hellish devilish song

If I were to cram my whole family life into this one

And so, this poem is already done.

Instead, the next two poems shall continue the tale

Leaving your mouth dry, bitter, and stale

As they tell separately about my father and mother,

My life as a son and a brother.

My father was the original villain of my life

But soon, it was both he and his wife

Who were ruining everything in sight

And against whom I’d have to fight.

My mother, though a sweet woman by birth

Had, by this time, gone down in emotional worth.

In her fight against my father, she

Became a villain also to me

Adding to the evil of our family.

Now, my family and I are somewhat close

Though my heart still holds

A lot of hatred toward my parents both,

My family life left behind like a ghost.

A thing of the past that still haunts me today

But it comes and goes away

From dark of night til bright of day.

Randomly some remnant of that curse

Will flare up and hurt.

Time has made me reconnect

Which I did not expect

But family is something that should be cherished,

For you never know when it will perish.

Forgive but never forget

And always be bitter and upset

Deep down inside but outside smile

Because you’ll only have them for a while.

Still, allow me to share some of the hate

So you can better relate

To me when I’m talking about my family life,

My tyrannical father and his cold cruel wife.

Father

We’ll start with my father because he

Was the first villain to me.

My mother came afterward in her fight against him

Which resulted in a flood of unstoppable sin.

He, by birth, by creation, is an evil being.

There is death in his very breathing.

We thought for so long that alcohol is why he was that way

But after so many a night and day

During the short time that he was sober

Our hopes were over.

Because we realized it was just his personality

The way he treated all people and me.

It wasn’t alcohol, his heart was just evil in its purity.

My father was a raging alcoholic man

Whose heart I could never understand.

He was a villainous tyrant who did not care

Did not love and did not share.

He was a hypocritical man and always lied.

So many times, we thought he had died.

Died of alcohol poisoning.

He was never good at listening.

He always twisted things to his will

And he struggles, always and still.

He will absolutely judge and criticize

Any person, no any being, alive.

No one can ever do anything right.

Everything is always a fight.

He believes himself the king of Earth

Entitled to all of it by his worth

Beyond anyone else alive

In fact, we should all strive

To be like him, he must think

As we all sink

Into expectations he set that are unreal.

I’ll never understand how he does feel.

He’s suicidal and depressed but will never admit it

And alcohol, well, he refuses to quit it.

It got so bad that he was a walking zombie

When he destroyed my family and me.

So close to death he always was.

His heart knows nothing of love.

Every breath he takes spreads more lies

With nothing but disapproval in his eyes.

He’s nothing but angry and aggressive.

When around him, everyone is stressing.

Not a moment of peace when he is around,

No, he would ruin an entire town

Just by living there.

He does not care.

The embodiment of evil, a hypocrite

An ugly indestructible zit

On the face of life.

He doesn’t deserve his kids or wife.

He thinks it’s unfair if it happens to him

But to someone else, it’s not a sin.

No, it’s entertainment when others suffer.

He truly changed and ruined my mother.

I wonder what life would have been

If she had taken me and left back then.

But she could never leave him, he made her dependent

On his finances and pension.

He is so stingy when it comes to money.

If you suffer, he finds it funny.

He’s so rude to people.

Sees no one as equal.

Never taught me anything like a father and son.

No that bond was done

Once I turned into a kid because he

Only likes babies and puppies then you see

He finds them a chore

If they’re able to talk they’re a bore

Because they have actual life problems

And he doesn’t want to solve ‘em.

You can never relax.

Always have to watch your back.

A braggart, he always boasts about his past

Every great thing he’s done should be a well known fact.

Denies anything negative ever said,

He has a thick arrogant selfish head.

He constantly seeks attention and validation

And there isn’t a hint of patience,

No everything is a rush or too slow

Hurry up, we must go.

He is controlling and a micromanager

And my one sister, he disowned her

For just merely being alive

Because around the time she was born his father died.

Everything turns into a fight,

But he believes that he is always and only right.

A tyrant, he forces everything upon others.

He never got over the death of his mother.

He practically raped my mother every weekend

And he admitted to cheating,

All he cares about is sex,

Never got over an ex

That was actually just his mistress.

He’s depressed that he’s alone

And now lives in a separate home

And that no one other than me stays

But he’s the one always pushing everyone away.

He is completely unable to understand

Why we all consider him not human,

So selfish and despicable is he,

The ruiner of the past, present, and future of my family.

Mother

I don’t think my mother will ever understand

What she’s done to my life as a human.

That wretched horrible woman is the worst.

She alone is my greatest curse

Along with my father, they both

Turned me into a hollow lifeless ghost.

My mother is worse, however, because she and I

Actually argued until one of us cried.

My father never argued with me, he always went through her

Or spoke behind my back, but I assure you, I heard.

He was alcoholically insane, that was his excuse

But when my mother made me want to wear noose

And she said awful things to me,

That was truth, reality

That she believed.

She can’t blame it on intoxication,

Only anger and frustration,

She meant all her exclamations.

Worthless son, and stupid bastard

Are some of the names from the disaster

Of a home I lived in

Because my birth was a tragic sin.

Social outcast, you have no friends.

Laughs at the idea of my life coming to an end.

Thinks it’s stupid and pathetic for me to say

That I almost took my life on more than one day.

Tells me I’m worth nothing

Then gets mad at me for not loving

My family and for being filled with rage.

But I kept a list, a single page

Once, long ago that had every insult my mother ever said

Though that list is also in my head.

Actually, she threw it away

Because she denied she would ever say

The things that I had written down

I shake my head and frown.

The fact that she tried to hide her sins

Then expects to be forgiven

Sickens me to the depth of my heart

Really, I truly wish to part

Ways with such horrid people

Who have no evil equals.

But I had a second copy, a digital one in fact

And it so unfortunately lacks

Everything that has been said to me,

Still, you’re about to see

A glimpse into my past.

Time has gone by so fast.

Spoken by my own mother, could you ever imagine

That something like this could happen?

She who birthed me and is supposed to love

Said such awful things to her own son.

A selfish bastard, rotten son.

A useless boy and son. Redundant compared to the first one.

A failure and a disappointment.

I guess that I’ll never be missed.

You’re a lonely high schooler. Haven’t you been lonely enough?

That’s not even the worst of the stuff.

Worthless son. A failed member of society.

Thanks for saying that about me.

Immature taste of clothing and no sense of fashion.

Not sure why that was said or how it happened.

Except I do because I always dressed nice

And I got told more than twice

That I didn’t look like other boys my age

Oh, how it filled me with rage.

"A bum, that’s all you’ll ever be. Fuck your writing and poetry.

You’ll never find love writing for a living

Because you’ll never meet women

Who trust you to take care of them since all you do is write

And that’s a financially unstable life.

You’ll have no wife, no one will ever love you."

Well, mom, one could say that’s true

For you, since you’re all alone

Stuck as an almost single mother back home.

You’re an actual son of a bitch.

Guess that one’s just a classic.

A fucking liar, that’s all you are or will ever be.

That’s you and my father but not me.

I try my best to be patient and honest

But your hypocriticalness, I can’t stop it.

You’re just like your father, in fact you are him.

That would be an unforgivable sin.

You’re delusional, completely delusional and mentally ill.

All because I had a steadfast will

That refused to give up, and it doesn’t still.

You can go to Hell!

Very well,

I suppose that’s where I belong

Since I was already there, all along.

A bum full of regrets. You’ll carry them all to your death.

I’m not sure what she’d expect

If I told her that we all have regrets, some more than others

And that she wasn’t like other mothers.

She was really cruel, and she forgets this all

And to Hell, surely, she’ll fall.

Maybe I’ll be there too,

Because young me didn’t know if all of this was true.

After all, kids should believe what their parents say

But that isn’t true to this day

Because sometimes parents just don’t understand

Their kids as they change from a boy to a man

Or a girl to a woman or whatever they may be

And my mom certainly didn’t understand me.

And she may forget,

But I’m still upset.

My mother’s words when I was a child are not easily forgotten

And they are stored in my heart in the rotting

Little corner where all my memories from when I was kid

Like an infectious mold stay and live.

"You, your sisters, and your father are huge regrets

And this is not what I thought to expect

When I gave having a family a try again, I’m done.

You’re all worst than the first one."

Interesting, though her new family is far more

Successful than her first, though it’s not a war

Or a competition, but the kids of this new family

Are much better than the first, and that includes me.

And I’m not the most successful but compared to her other son

I am certainly number one.

That’s the ironic part: she’s the only common factor.

But to her, that doesn’t matter,

She could never be the cause of disaster.

But all her first three kids left

Because that woman is the embodiment of death.

She keeps saying that the kids or the father are the problem

And that she needs to stop them.

I wish she would open her eyes and see

That the issue isn’t my siblings, father, or me.

But that she is the one who ruined both families.

Six kids and she failed them all.

Now through life, we struggle and fall.

She claims to be a mother with maternal instincts

But into her cruelty we all sink.

She is the destroyer of all things good and pure,

Who turned my childhood into a constant war

Or arguments, yelling, cursing, tears,

Nightmares, anger, bitterness, and fears.

She is the root of all the chaos and screaming.

The reason why we ended up leaving.

Not just me, but all her kids hate their lives one way or another

All of us, with her as a mother.

Now then, let’s get back to what she would say

To me all through the night and day

To make me hate myself and my childhood

Unlike how a child should

Have to feel

But my childhood, in a sense, was not real.

"Piece of crap and piece of shit.

Fucking ridiculous,

Moronic, stupid, and an idiot.

Unsympathetic and just wishes to resist

Even though you’re just absolute shit.

Musical outcast, social outcast, always alone."

Oh my, what a lovely home To have grown up in

Thinking my birth was an awful sin.

And now, my mother only cares about me

Because she forced me into the military

And anything great about me she credits to them.

When will this ever end?

She gave birth to me and supposedly loves us all

But between us stands an indestructible wall

Of regrets and pain and hatred and rage

And it will always, always stay

There between us because of what she’s said and done

Only by birth, am I her son.

All I ever wanted was a mother who cared.

Who took care of me when I was scared

Or made a warm welcoming home

For whenever I felt truly alone.

A mother who accepted me and helped me out in life

And would approve of my future wife.

A woman who didn’t criticize and judge and degrade

But our relationship can’t be saved.

Because all she does is make me feel worthless.

My love, she hasn’t earned it.

It was there because I grew in her womb

But the household she raised was a solemn tomb

And so she pushed me away

And I won’t stay.

Because of her, my life has been tragic.

It would take pure magic

To make me love my mother with all my heart

And to put back together every part

Of it that she destroyed with her cruel coldness

And every word that she has spoken.

You get the point, right?

I could easily share with you every fight.

I could share of every time I cried

Or how I almost died

By my own hand because my life didn’t matter

But I found the falseness in the latter.

From these awful insults grew

The person I once knew

Who was me when I first left home

A hollow being and all alone.

The Wait

So, you just heard a little bit about

That time when my heart was filled with