My Journey from Beatings to Beauty

By Belle

It took me twenty-two years to write a complete book of poetry. It cant be forced; there has to be some serious emotion behind it, and this extremely intense journeythis last twenty-two years of my lifeis part of the structure I am made of. Writing is in my soul. It flows so smoothly through all that I am and comes out through a pen on to a page in my book. I find my center and reorganize my goals because I am putting the best part of myself forward, knowing I am not perfect and neither is my work. The funny thing is, my biggest successes have come from overcoming my biggest fears and then realizing I found comfort and safety during the battle. So this is what you get. Just me! Only me!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 12, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543456134

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Belle.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2017915263

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5434-5611-0

      Softcover      978-1-5434-5612-7

      eBook         978-1-5434-5613-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 10/11/2017

Xlibris

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Contents

Prologue

The beginning

Leaving me

Disbelief

The poem

Lucky charm

Fairies

Embarrassment

Ode to men

Observation

Addict

Reality

Irony

Self-discovery

Frustrated

Alone

Just me

Despair

Dylan

Time

Shelby

Grandpa

Rose

Fire

Encouragement

Lady Shallotte

Dark prince

Infatuation

The heart stealer

Sexuality

Whole heart

Sacred love

Angel

Now or never

The wave

Perpetually sad

Sista

Unsure

My dream lover

Wishing

Art

All I can keep from this

Innocence

I hope it doesn’t rain

Life

So much to say

Inspiration

A letter to my mother

A letter of encouragement

Torment

Tink

Trapped

Bereft

Candy coating

Jerk

Help (Addiction)

Hollow

Humans

Word of advice

Admiration

Something’s wrong

Pointless

Momentary death

I hate you

Katrina Mae

Russell & Katrina

Affliction

What will become of me

Missing you

Empty

Hopeless desperation

First star

Here to stay

Darkness

Don’t kick the dog

Chance & Devin

For the last time

Why

Enlightenment

Thankful

Finding myself

Coming out of the shadows

The way you make me feel

Little things mean a lot

Now that you’re gone

For the one I love

How special you are

My essence

Imagine

I think of you

Our love

Thank you

The only friend

Whisper on the wind

To you

Two old souls

You

Devoted adoration

My teenage boy

My teenage girl

The love of a mother

Melancholy

Trav

Bitches

Tranquillity

I am me

I wrote this book for and dedicate it to any woman who was or is being abused. I hope it helps you to see there is a life beyond abuse and a way out.

I also dedicate it to my two beautiful children who were and are my strength as well as my reason to keep on living life to find the peace and beauty in it.

Prologue

Since I was a teenager writing has been my way of dealing with life and all it has thrown at me. It took me twenty-two years to write eighty-three poems that I felt were good enough to include in this book. Now that I am finished writing the poems, I am back at the beginning again, reading all that I have created. I take my readers on my journey down memory lane as I write about all the feelings, inspirations and what I have learned along the way. My road of life was pretty rough at times but, I feel this book is something that some or maybe even many can relate to and hopefully be empowered by my love for my family and life in general. No matter how big the mountains we must climb, if we stay positive and believe in ourselves we can do anything.

The beginning

Have you ever felt like Why me? Why can’t life just be easier for me? I have worked so hard to get here. I left home on my 16th Birthday and never looked back, there was more love out there than I would ever find at home. I have never had an easy go, I worked my ass off for everything I have as well as who I am today. For the first time in my life I can finally say I love me! I love who I am and the job I have done raising my two beautiful children. I truly love and appreciate life. It’s not like I am rich (far from it) and it’s not like I am stuck up or think I am perfect. I am just so happy right here where I am right now. I have always looked for the silver lining around every cloud and when life got rough I wrote about it. Sometimes rambling like this and sometimes I wrote poems however, those always took extreme emotions or a few glasses of savignon blanc. I wrote to express my feelings, to process all I was going through, especially the stuff I should keep to myself because if I said it out loud certain people wouldn’t appreciate the truth. Definitely not when it comes from a teenage girl. When I started writing it was on scraps of paper that always got lost until I came back to Powell