Summary of Paul Kennedy's Engineers of Victory
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#1 A friend of mine named Muriel worked at a large technology company. She was in a middle-management position, which large technology companies can’t seem to get enough of. She was well-respected because she seemed to be selfless and often took the burden of the entire office on her shoulders. But she turned that obsession into subconscious obedience.
#2 The opposite of the people-pleasing tendency is the self-defeating tendency. Muriel was a person-pleaser who was punished for it. She was hired to please others, but she put her job first.
#3 People-pleasing is the act of being too nice to others. It stems from insecurity, fear, and shame. It is driven by the need to avoid negative consequences rather than create positive possibilities.
#4 People-pleasers are driven by a deep and piercing fear of rejection. They believe that if they give and give and give, they’ll feel less of a chance that they’ll be rejected or abandoned.
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