Our Habits Define Our Success
 
We are all the product of our habits.  What we do regularly defines our level of success.  Bad habits, good habits are all the same, in terms of the production of results, so the input point not the process, becomes very interesting for those wanting to succeed.  How do we ensure that we are adding good habits and eliminating bad habits? 
 
Part of the input process is selection of priorities.  Going to the gym rather than the sports bar is a choice.  Eating that donut rather than an apple is a choice.  Discipline is a famed part of military life and various slacker generations are recommended compulsory military service as a way to fly straight.  Where does this military discipline come from?  Regular habits are a big part.  Doing specific things at the precise same time, in the same way without variation instills habits.  Doing things that must be done, regardless of how you feel about wanting to do them, instills disciplines, which become habits.  You don’t have to join the military to garner good habits but becoming more disciplined is necessary.
 
Our biggest successes come from our ability to work with other people.  There are very few professions where you can do everything on your own and don’t need the input, cooperation or contribution of others.  We pick up bad habits that damage our ability to garner that input, cooperation and collaboration. Here are some good habits to cultivate if we want a smoother path to success.
 
1. Don’t make it your habit to complain to or about others.
 
When others complain about us to others and we hear about it, what is the usual reaction?  Generally not good and animosities arise and can linger for many years, as the result of what is considered an unwarranted assault on our good name.  So if you want to create a blood feud, then start publically whining about your colleagues.  If you have a beef with someone and you heroically decide to confront them with their failings, then expect either the silent assassin who won’t say much, but will be seeking revenge at the first opportunity or the combustible who will explode right there and then and counter attack ferociously.  Very few individuals will look deep inside their heart, saint like, and admit their errors and bow to your superior judgment.  You have more likely just made an enemy for life.
 
If the chances of success in complaining are so low, then why do people persist in thinking they can right the world by drawing other’s attention to their failings?  Habit and a major lack of self-awareness are culprits.  Find a more subtle way to draw attention to problems which will allow that person to save face.  Call out the error indirectly.  The issue will be raised but not the animosity.  Make this your habit rather than a preemptive first strike.
 
2.  Help others to want what you want and make that style of communication your habit
 
When we are direct and assertive, it comes across like giving orders and few people like being told what to do.  Yes, you can gain compliance and they will do it, if you are higher in the power structure, but you won’t win the hearts and minds to the cause.  Be a more skilled communicator and look for ways to stimulate self-discovery on their part, that leads them to see the wisdom of the solution, that we have identified as the best way forward. Questions are our friends here and statements our enemies.  A statement will trigger resistance, whereas a well crafted question will lead to self-enlightenment.  Make asking well thought out questions your habit, rather than firing off statements in salvoes.
 
3. Make it a habit to be a good listener, you will become more persuasive as a result
 
It sounds counter-intuitive doesn’t it, listening rather than telling your way to success.  Hollywood has glorified the riveting, moving oratory that rouses the masses and points them in the same direction.  In the real world of business, this is a useful skill known only to a miniscule